Yorkshire (23 page)

Steven left, but closed the door behind him as Richard had asked him. We heard his hurrying footsteps retreat down the corridor and the stairs at the end.

“My guess is that he’ll lay in wait for us below. Is there any other way out of here, my sweet love?”

I lifted my head, pale with shock. I thought Steven would insist on seeing me, and I couldn’t believe he hadn’t recognised me, but Richard’s accusations distracted him.

“There are the back stairs,” I offered, almost whispering.

He smiled to reassure me. “This whole thing is so outrageous, he’ll never guess it was you. Whatever made me insane enough to do this I can’t possibly imagine.” He paused, his gaze growing more intent. “Oh yes I can,” he corrected himself, and he drew me back into his arms and kissed me, long and lingering. “I will return as soon as I can. Just wait until the scandal over Julia has passed and then I’ll return. I don’t know how I’ll wait until I have you in my bed once more.” He gave a self-deprecating laugh. “Of course, my reputation is already so bad your brother might well take it into his head to keep you away from me for good.”

Nobody would do that, not now. “I’m my own person. I’ll have whoever I choose.”

“Well said.” He took my face in his hands and kissed me one more time. “Don’t fear—we’ll see them all off. But, Rose…now we’ve committed ourselves thus far, I have to ask you something.”

“Yes?” My stomach muscles tightened.

His gaze remained loving, but gained a graver cast. “Will you take me with nothing? Julia’s father loves her very much. He may seek such revenge in the courts that I’ll be left with nothing. I have a personal fortune, but I could lose that in any breach of promise case. My father may well cast me off and disown me, as much as he can. He’s threatened it before. He might actually do it this time, if things go badly for me. He can’t take the title or the entail away, but the Southwood title has very little entailed property, so he could will them away from me. I have the means of making my own way in the world, and I’m not afraid of working for a living. I don’t care, for myself, but for you. You deserve better. We can avoid the worst of the scandal if we go abroad, but no one will receive us. We’ll be outcasts. It might seem trivial to you now, but we may be thrown on each other’s company with no distractions and no comforts. We won’t starve but we won’t have any spare income for a while. Can you bear all that?”

I relaxed, smiled. “You’re all I want. Nothing else.” I meant it. If doing without him meant facing society on my own, going back to a life of comfortable spinsterhood, then I knew I couldn’t do it. Not now.

He kissed me for a long time. “I’ll make you happy. I swear it.”

We gazed at each other, totally content, then he smiled. “I fear we must face the world again, sweetheart, so—” He sat up and flung back the covers, swung his legs out of the bed, then turned to help me out. “By the way about these sheets. I would have thought after ten years they would have been in a worse condition than they are—”

I bit my lower lip. Time to tell the truth. “I put them on the bed yesterday. I took them from the discard pile and I shall take them to be burned now. No one will miss them.”

To my surprise, after an astonished, “You little schemer!” he burst into laughter, finding it difficult to stop. “I…I only thought,” he gasped after a good minute of trying hard to get his breath back, “how my friends in town wouldn’t believe it. I allowed myself to be seduced by an inexperienced country girl.” That sent him off again. I saw the funny side, though I’d begun to think it wasn’t that funny, when he controlled his mirth.

He put an arm around me, drawing me to his side. “You’re so good for me. I can’t remember when I’ve laughed so much. There seemed precious little reason to laugh in recent months.” He kissed me soundly, and then bent to pick up my shift, the last article of clothing he had removed from me. “I make an excellent lady’s maid.”

He was right. He knew just where every lace and pin should go, and he even made a reasonable job of taming my unruly hair. He needed no help himself, except with his heavy coat, which was too much for the stiffness in his arm.

Properly dressed, we were ourselves again, and I felt shy, foolish even. “I’ll follow Drury on my own. If he’s waiting, I’ll keep him busy. Can you find another way out without anyone seeing you?”

I nodded.

“One more thing.” He took my face in his hands, looking directly into my eyes. I saw no amusement there now, no laughter. He looked at me steadily. “Everything I said to you today, I meant. I love you more than I can say. While we both know this shouldn’t have happened, I’ll never regret it. I will marry you, and I’ll do it after a proper courtship. I’ll take Julia home, and come back for you. This I promise, whatever it costs.”

I knew this was a solemn oath, and he meant what he said.

I leaned forward to kiss him but he drew back after one, tender exchange. “And if you quicken, you must promise to tell me at once. What other plans we have will be as nothing. We’ll marry at once, and damn the scandal.”

I promised and he kissed me once more, his lips lingering on mine as if he couldn’t bear to part with me. Then he left, quickly, before, as he said, I undid all his resolve. God knows I wanted to.

I stripped the sheets off the bed, leaving the blankets neatly folded on top, and then I knelt to check the floor. Unfortunately in our haste, we had torn off several of his waistcoat buttons, and Richard being Richard, they were fine, distinctive ones. I scrabbled about, locating as many as I could, then I pocketed them and left the room—not by the corridor, but by a small door in the corner. This looked as though it should be a cupboard, but opened on stairs leading down to the servants’ corridors. I had discovered it the day before, when I cleaned the room and made the bed.

I went down to the basement. I’d screwed the sheets into as tight a bundle as I could make them, the secret of my lost virginity tucked inside.

Servants filled the kitchen, so dinner must be well under way. I threw my bundle on the fire, pushing it to the back with a poker, making certain sure the fire caught it. “Rags,” I explained to the one maid who lifted her head. Then I went up the backstairs to the outside of the house, coming in again through the side door.

I went up to my room, noticing it was half past two. I must hurry, to dress in time for dinner. A maid entered—Grey—and I looked at her with new understanding, wondering how she’d felt having her lover taken from her.

If she noticed the knot that tied my stays was not the same one she’d tied that morning, she said nothing. “Is it true,” I asked her, “that you loved the last earl, the younger brother?”

Her hands faltered at the back of my gown, and then she continued. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Would you have done anything for him?”

“Anything.”

She fetched the black gown from York from the bed, and held it open. I slipped my arms into the sleeves and she busied herself hooking it up at the front. “I understood he knew a few of the village maids.”

She snorted. “They didn’t understand him, ma’am. He needed care and understanding, but they didn’t notice that. His brother kept him short of money all the time.” I looked up and met her sorrowful gaze. “He needed looking after, ma’am. He was so sad, so afraid of everyone and everything.”

I nodded. “Thank you.” From what she had said, I doubted the fifth earl was in complete command of all his faculties, though whether by birth or the abuse heaped on him from childhood could never be discerned now. His father’s draconian treatment, then his brother’s deprivations would be enough to turn anyone’s mind.

I had eliminated another suspect. I met Lizzie on the way down to dinner and told her my news. She sighed. “I talked to her, too. She seems to have had real affection for the poor man. I’m glad he had someone.” She glanced at me, sharply. “So where did you get to this afternoon? I couldn’t go and find you without causing comment, but I would have done if I could.”

“Oh, we toured the top corridor and then we walked in the gardens for a while.” I marvelled how easy I found it to lie to her, when I’d never kept secrets from her before. “Then he went in to rest, and I stayed outside. Do you know how much work there is to do in the gardens?”

“Oh, I can guess.” Lizzie seemed satisfied with my explanation. “Ten years’ growth must amount to a forest.”

“You can just discern flower beds from hedge,” I said, improvising wildly. “I think it would be best razed to the ground and done all over again.”

“You’re probably right,” she agreed, and we went to dinner.

Steven behaved towards Richard with increasing insolence, perhaps thinking they shared a secret when he’d discovered us
in flagrante
. Richard took no more notice of him than he did of Miss Cartwright, treating them both with the same rigid politeness.

That first night, I dared not catch Richard’s attention, but after that, I felt easier in his company. In public, he was careful not to touch me or look at me more than needed to. From that I knew our encounter had affected him as much as it had affected me. For the next few days, I was happy just to feel the warmth of his presence. Lizzie watched me so closely it became impossible to have any private time with him, but now I was content to wait. I was sure of him as I had never been before and I realised that it was at the moment of complete vulnerability, complete surrender, that I’d won everything I wanted, and more.

I hugged my secret to myself, dreaming of it in private moments. I couldn’t believe that people like Martha and James had a similar secret, because I was so self-centred in my own happiness. The knowledge that they’d had ten happy years of marriage and three children of their own didn’t seem to coincide with what I had experienced that wonderful day. I was sure he wanted me. I was sure I wanted him.

Martha and James returned from York. Behind them followed a hired coach full of Martha’s purchases, with more to follow. James reported that probate of the will was passing through the court smoothly, though, since it was a Church court, it might take a little more time. Wills usually passed through Church courts, due to some archaic law. He would use the title and have power of attorney on the estate until it formally passed to him. If Lady Hareton proved with child, James would be guardian in the baby’s minority, so his care of the estate seemed certain, either way.

Mr. Pritheroe hadn’t yet made any formal objection in the courts, though he continued to protest to James personally. He got about a little better now and the joiner James had engaged for the estate made him a crutch. His approach, heralded by a stumping noise, usually caused a general exodus from whichever room he headed for, but he showed no signs of leaving the Abbey. In a way, that was a good thing, for he intended to take Lady Hareton with him when he left. Martha wanted to prevent him from doing so, if she could.

Mr. Pritheroe tried hard to keep his daughter apart from us. They took their dinner in the little parlour and he made her stay with him afterwards. He read his choice of passages from the Bible to her. In his stentorian tones, we could hear it all over our part of the house. She didn’t offer to help Martha, but that was probably because he didn’t allow her to. She seemed totally cowed by her father, and it was sad to witness such capitulation. She could have been pretty if she had worn her hair in a looser style, if her caps—now black—had sported more lace than linen, but since she had never been taught self worth, it had never entered her life. I had chosen to be careless of dress, not been forced into it, and these days, I found I was more attentive and took more care over my appearance. I knew exactly why.

Chapter Sixteen

I’d volunteered to help Martha, so I put on the dress that I’d worn on that memorable afternoon—old but respectable and not too worn, sighing at the necessity. I had found a vanity I’d never been aware of in myself before. I found my pocket on its string, and felt a clinking weight when I tied it around my waist. Upon investigation, it proved to be the buttons I’d picked up. I’d forgotten all about them, but resolved to return them before a maid found them and reported it to Martha.

I wrapped them in a little parcel and walked to Richard’s room.

Carier opened the door to me, and after a swift, conspiratorial look around that amused me more than a little, let me into the room. My lord was attired in the magnificent dressing gown I’d seen the other day, all dragons and crescent moons, and small Chinese figures going about their business. He laughed at my frank admiration of it after he’d kissed my hand. “They were all the rage last season so, much to my mother’s despair I set about obtaining the finest one I could find. My father said he hoped my mistresses would be pleased with it. And you do seem to be pleased,” he added in a low tone, making me blush. I hadn’t thought of myself as his mistress, but there seemed no other relationship to be had, and so I supposed that must be what I was. I looked behind me, but the estimable Carier was busy brushing down a blue cloth coat. I put the little parcel into Richard’s hand. He looked at it, quizzically. “Another gift?”

“No, merely your own again.” He opened the parcel, letting the contents fall on the dressing table as he laughed at them. “How considerate of you, my sweet.” Carier glanced up at the endearment and smiled grimly, but said nothing.

“I must go. I only came to return the buttons.”

The manservant forestalled me at the door. “You’ll allow me to look first, madam.” He put his hand upon the door, just as a knock fell on it. I started back in shock. Richard stood quickly, gesturing toward the dressing room door. Carier took me there. Unfortunately, the outer door proved to be locked, so the manservant went back for the key as Richard opened the door to his visitor.