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Authors: Diana Wynne Jones

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BOOK: Year of the Griffin
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“The knife's nothing to do with it,” Olga said. “It belongs to the man hanging by one leg outside the window.”

“What?”
Finn looked at Corkoran, and Corkoran stared at Olga. She seemed utterly calm.

Both wizards hurried to the window that looked out over the town.

The man dangling outside was dressed in black like Corkoran's attacker. The first part of him they saw was the sole of a black boot, which was gripped very tightly around the ankle by a thick orange rope that appeared to be welded to the windowsill. Finn put out a finger and very cautiously touched the rope. A familiar gust of oranges came to Corkoran's nostrils. “This is like a steel hawser!” Finn said wonderingly.

Hearing him speak, the dangling man raised his face, which was bright red and encased in a black hood, from the region of the lower windows. “Let me up, for pity's sake! I'm going to die like this!”

“Poor fellow!” said Finn.

“No, he isn't. I heard that sort of talk last night,” said Corkoran. “But we'd better haul him up, anyway. I want an explanation. But go very carefully.”

Neither of them could budge the orange rope. It defied both spells of levitation and spells of release, and after that it defied plain pulling. It was not until Ruskin came over to wrap his large hands around the rope and heave with his powerful shoulders that the hanging man began to inch up the outside wall.

“Thought so,” Ruskin grunted rather proudly. “This trap's one of mine.”

Corkoran got his shrinking spell ready. As soon as the black boot came up level with the windowsill, he grasped the toe of it and clapped the spell on. Then he whipped forth a bag of Inescapable Net and crammed the tiny, struggling man inside it. Even so, the assassin contrived to stab Corkoran in the thumb with his tiny dagger. “Ouch!” cried Corkoran.

A clatter from the middle of the room made them all whirl around.

The beehive had vanished. Felim was standing there, sweating and rather white, with the knife on the floor at his feet. He was waving his arms, warning them all to keep clear of it.

“Are you all right?” everyone cried out.

“More or less. It was a little hot and stuffy but very safe,” Felim said. “But no one must come near this knife. Assassins always poison their weapons.”

“What?” Corkoran looked at the little red blob on his thumb. He put it to his mouth to suck the blood off and then rather quickly took it away.

“I fear,” Felim said apologetically, “that the knife should be destroyed and the whole floor cleansed. The poison they use is lethal.”

Corkoran felt ready to faint.

“In that case,” said Finn, “you get over to Healers Hall at once, Corkoran, and I'll see to the cleansing. You students all go outside. Quickly.”

Corkoran vanished in a clap of inrushing air. The five students clattered down the stairs and into the courtyard, where Elda bounded up to them. “Oh, Felim, I'm so
glad
! Are you safe now? Did we get them all?”

“I am not sure,” Felim said cautiously. “Assassins always work in bands of seven.”

His friends looked at one another anxiously. “Corkoran must have caught at least one more of them last night,” Lukin pointed out. “How many of the spells were sprung, Elda?”

“Dozens,” said Elda. “My carpet looks as if someone emptied a bag of rubbish over it.”

“So we
might
have caught them all?” Lukin said.

“In that case,” Ruskin growled, “where are they?”

This caused more anxious looks, which deepened to real worry when Claudia said, “The big question is, If we
haven't
caught them all, does the protection go back on Felim when the next one has a go at him, or is that spell used up?”

“I think,” said Olga, “we maybe ought to ask Corkoran.”

“Dare we?” asked Elda. “He looked awfully annoyed. And he wasn't wearing his tie.”

Ruskin, who was still annoyed with Elda, demanded, “What's his tie got to do with anything? He's still a wizard, even without a tie.”

“That wasn't what I
meant
!” squawked Elda. “You—”

“Please,” said Claudia. “I've got to go and get dressed. I'm freezing. The rest of you try to catch Corkoran on his way back from the healers.” She went. Lukin, yawning and shivering, wrapped himself into Olga's fur cloak and went to get dressed, too. The remaining four hung about near the statue of Wizard Policant until Finn came and found them there.

Finn was angry by then. He had been deprived of Melissa and half a night's sleep, and now he had missed Rowing Club, too. He always felt out of sorts, anyway, if he missed his morning workout on the lake. Instead, he had been landed with the tricky and dangerous magic of getting rid of the assassin's knife and then cleansing Felim's floor. The fumes that came off the black, spear-shaped mark on the floorboards had made him cough and feel more than ever out of sorts. When the poison was finally banished and he clumped down the stairs to see Elda looming in the middle of the courtyard above Ruskin, Olga, and Felim, all of them in clouds of their own steamy breaths, Finn was suddenly furious. It was all their fault. He strode toward them.

“Haven't you people done enough now?” he demanded in a hoarse shout.

Corkoran meanwhile was returning from Healers Hall, feeling rather queasy from the thick green liquid the duty healer had made him drink. The duty healer had assured him that he was in no danger whatsoever. The tiny dagger had not had enough poison on its point to poison a gnat, and most of that had come out with the blood. The healer wiped away the blood and burned the cloth she used. Then she made him drink the green liquid as a precaution. But Corkoran was not convinced. Like most people who are hardly ever ill, he was quite unable to tell which were dangerous symptoms and which were not. Did his head ache, he wondered as he walked,
merely
because he was short of sleep? Or was it the deep working of venom? Why was his heart racing so? He refused to believe it was just with terror. And what caused his knees to tremble slightly as he walked? It was certainly not with relief. And
was
the sick, heavy feeling in his stomach
only
caused by the horrible green drink? Or was he about to die and waste all his moon research? He swung the little bag with the assassin in it and thought vengeful thoughts at it.

He came around the corner of the North Lab to find Finn with his legs astride and his arms folded, standing near the statue of Policant, bawling at Elda and her friends. It was so exactly what Corkoran wanted to do himself that he approached, feeling deeply appreciative.

“No, it wasn't, it was plain idiocy!” Finn was yelling. “You should have come to one of us, and we could have put
proper
protections around him. We know the correct spells. You don't. But oh, no! You had to go and be clever! And what happens? Everyone in this University loses a night's sleep, Corkoran gets poisoned, and I nearly choke. And Felim could have suffocated, of course.”

“I beg your pardon,” Felim objected quietly as Corkoran drew closer. “I must contradict you there, Wizard Finn. The protections put around me by my friends were far more effective than the wards of the University, and I could breathe with perfect ease.”

“What do you know about the wards?” yelled Finn. “You never gave the damned things a chance! You rushed in and fooled about with books and orange peel instead. It was the merest luck the stupid things kept you safe. You
must
learn that magic is dangerous stuff! You have to go
cautiously
, step by little step, and follow the
rules
, or you could end up
dead
, or turned into a
fish
! I always tell my students they should never,
ever
do anything they haven't been taught to do!”

“Hear, hear!” said Corkoran.

Elda, who had her beak open to suggest that
someone
must have done something he hadn't been taught, or there would never have been any magic to start with, shut her beak and gazed at Corkoran sorrowfully. Ruskin's eyebrows bunched, but the way he looked out at Corkoran from under his scowl seemed almost pitying. Olga and Felim stared straight and unconvinced. Corkoran wondered what had got into them all, but he went on firmly, “I agree with every word that Wizard Finn has said.”

“I beg your—” Felim began in his usual polite way. But he stopped because the paving stones of the courtyard began to bulge upward in front of Corkoran.

Corkoran leaped backward from the bulge. “Oh, what now?” he said. As he spoke, the hillock of stonework split apart, grinding a little, to make a slimy-seeming hole. Out of it came the familiar and piercing smell of oranges, mixed with what was certainly the smell of sewers. A creature about the size of a lion squeezed out of the reeking space. It was a creature like no one there had seen before. Its skin was orange, shiny, and pimply, its head was too big for its body, and it shone with slime. In the enormous jaws of its great head it held a long, heavy bundle. This bundle it proceeded to lay lovingly at Corkoran's feet, wagging its skinny orange tail as it did so. Then it paused to gaze expectantly up into Corkoran's face. When Corkoran did nothing but look disgusted, the creature faded into nothingness, a little sadly. The stones of the courtyard closed with a thump, although the smell remained, sharp in the frosty air.

“Ugh!” said Finn. “I suppose that's another of them who tried to get in through the sewers.”

Elda was jigging up and down. “That's one of mine!” she told Felim delightedly.

Corkoran looked unlovingly from Elda to the assassin lying by his toes. The man was dripping with slime and orange juice and half stunned, but he was already struggling to reach the dagger in his boot. Corkoran hastily put his foot on the man's reaching fingers and shrank him before he could do any more. As he summoned another bag of Inescapable Net, he said, “If you people have any more spells set up, go and dismantle them. Now.” He scooped the assassin into the bag and strode away toward the Spellman Building.

Finn, who wanted to change out of his Rowing Club clothes, glowered at the students and followed Corkoran. By the time Finn reached the foyer of the Spellman Building, Corkoran was summoning the first two bags down from the light fitment. “You've got four of them!” Finn exclaimed. “What are you going to do with them?”

Corkoran still felt ill. He held the four little bags up at eye level so that they could both see the three tiny men and the one extremely small cockerel struggling about inside. “I think I might send them to the moon,” he said vengefully. “I need to know for certain that there isn't any air up there.”

“You can't do that!” Finn said, horrified. “That's a dreadful death!”

Corkoran was taken aback and rather hurt at this reaction of Finn's. He would have thought that after the bad time these people had given them all, Finn would be entirely in favor of the idea. “Why not? They're assassins. Two of them nearly killed me.”

“Yes, but they're human beings, not experimental animals,” Finn protested.

“That's why it's such a good idea,” Corkoran explained. “I'll put them in several different designs of metal suits, so that if they don't suffocate or explode, I'll know which one's safe for me to wear.”

Finn felt sick. The assassins might be professional murderers, but he was sure they did not deserve this. He knew assassins were dedicated men, who trained for years and had the same kinds of professional standards that wizards did. In their way they were honorable people. And they had surely only been doing their job in coming here. The trouble was, he thought, Corkoran was far too obsessed with the idea of getting to the moon. He wondered, not for the first time, if Corkoran might not be a little unbalanced in his mind. If he was, Finn could perfectly understand it. Working as a Wizard Guide to Mr. Chesney's tour parties tended to make you unbalanced. It had been hard, feverish work, in which none of the events had been real, except that the dangers were very real and sometimes utterly terrifying. Finn remembered the way he had felt when the tours had been stopped: almost bewildered and still expecting that he was going to have to kill someone. He had been so used to people being killed then that he had worried at the way he seemed to have become flinty-hearted about death. It looked as if Corkoran was still feeling like this. In which case, what could one say to stop him sending these unfortunate men to the moon? The trouble was, Corkoran did not think of experiments as murder. They were just stepping-stones on his way to be the first man on the moon.

Finn discovered that he knew the perfect thing to say. “Corkoran, these are
men
. If you send them to the moon, you won't be the first man to walk there.”

Corkoran thought about this irritably. He realized Finn was right. “I could send the cockerel,” he suggested.

“But that's really a man, too,” Finn argued. “People like Querida or Derk would say you were cheating.”

Corkoran sighed. Derk he thought he could deal with, but Querida was another matter. She was still the most powerful wizard in the world and still officially High Chancellor of the University. You did not do anything Querida might disapprove of. “All right,” he said. “I'll think of something else.” Blast Finn. These creatures had given him a bad fright and probably poisoned him. He wanted them to suffer.

BOOK: Year of the Griffin
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