Wyoming Wildfire (46 page)

“I’m relieved to see you’ve returned to civilized society,” said Mrs. Swan in a pinched voice, “though I never understood why you left. So unsuitable for a girl to involve herself with business,” she said to Louisa. “Surely your cousin, or your
husband,
could have attended to the details of your inheritance.”

“My father taught me to manage my own affairs, and I find I quite like it.”

“Moreton will find that unacceptable,” she said without so much as looking in her son’s direction. “And of course it will be expected that your
relatives
will not presume.”

“I’m not the least bit interested in what Moreton finds unacceptable” Sibyl replied with blazing eyes. “And I will undertake to see that any
presumptions
my unfortunate relatives make will not annoy you.”

Burch, unmoved by Sibyl’s wrath, merely looked amused, but the various expressions of the assembled faces told him no one else shared his casual attitude.

“Mother didn’t mean to appear to scold you,” Moreton quickly intervened, “though I did wonder at your staying so long.”

“I haven’t given you the right to wonder at my actions, or your mother to disapprove of them,” Sibyl responded tartly. “If I decide to go out West every year, I shall.”

“Moreton’s wife can hardly be expected to behave in such an unsuitable manner” stated Mrs. Swan with frigid correctness. “We have a position to uphold, a tradition to maintain.”

“I’m confident Moreton’s wife will be fully conscious of her responsibilities,” interjected Louisa, certain the old woman would provoke Sibyl into a mortifying public scene if not stopped, “but the next dance is forming and Sibyl’s partner is waiting for her. Burch, I believe your name is next on my card.”

A fresh-faced young man, trembling before the fire in Sibyl’s eyes, looked ready to relinquish his claim to her at the first opportunity, but Sibyl turned to him with such a dazzling smile he would have fought tigers for this one dance.

“I expect Sibyl to strike that woman one day,” Louisa said to Burch as he guided her skillfully about the floor.

“Does she really believe that Sibyl would marry her son?”

“Yes.
Nothing
will convince her that any girl would decline the honor of being Moreton’s wife and heir to the Swan heritage.”

“And exactly what’s that?”

“An impregnable belief in their absolute superiority to everyone else.”

“And especially to Sibyl’s presumptuous relatives,” Burch said with a burst of laughter that startled everyone in the ballroom.

To Sibyl it was like an electric shock, making every part of her body conscious of his presence. The young man dancing with her felt as though he held lightening in his grasp, and he was unable to take a deep breath until the dance came to an end.

Chapter 30

“Now you two can say what it is you have to say to one another,” Louisa announced when they returned home. “I shall be in my room if you want me. Henry?”

“I’m going to bed,” her husband stated succinctly. “Anything you have to say to me can wait until the morning.”

Sibyl led the way to the front parlor, but she felt trapped when Burch closed the door behind her, reluctant to come to the point; she had made her decision, however, and it was unfair to put off telling Burch any longer.

“Why did you leave?” he asked, without waiting for her to begin.

“You know why,” she replied evasively. She still couldn’t speak the hated words, confess her humiliation.

“No, I don’t. You may have forgotten, but you didn’t tell anyone.”

“It wasn’t anyone else’s business.”

“Wasn’t it mine?”

“If you wanted it to be, but you didn’t care.”

“What do you mean, I didn’t care? Do you think I made love to you just to pass the time of day?”

“Some other men would,” she said, looking at the floor.

“I’m not other men,” he said harshly. “I made love to you because I couldn’t stop myself.”

“You never told me that.”

“I didn’t think I had to. I thought you knew.”

“I thought I did, but I was wrong.”

“Will you stop talking in riddles? I love you, much more than I ever thought possibles.”

“Not enough,” Sibyl retorted, near tears.

“Enough to listen to you and follow your advice. If you had been at the Elkhorn when I returned, I would have told you that your haystacks were the only thing keeping our herds alive. I’ve even ordered lumber to build a barn, and Ned and Balaam are already groaning about having to set out dozens of fruit trees. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jesse and the boys start to think you’re running the Elkhorn, not me.”

Sibyl felt no elation, just the oppressive weight of despondency. This would have meant something before Christmas; in fact, she would have been the first to insist that it was the
only
thing that was important. But then Emma arrived, and Sibyl was forced to acknowledge that she was no different from the rest of her sex. It was Burch’s desire for Emma, not any feeling of inferiority, that dominated her thoughts and caused the constant pain that weighed on her heart. Why couldn’t he see it was jealousy that was killing her?

“There is really no point in our talking any more,” she said with great weariness. “There is nothing else to say.”

“Hell and damnation,” Burch thundered, grabbing her by the shoulders and forcing her to look him in the eye, “you haven’t said anything yet. I don’t know any more than when I got off that train this morning.” It seemed like so long ago instead of just a few hours.

“For God’s sake, Burch, stop pretending you’re innocent. I can stand knowing you don’t love me, but I can’t stand this constant lying, this masquerade of not knowing what I’m talking about.”

“I don’t, goddammit. I haven’t understood a thing you’ve said since I got here. Now that I think back on it, I’m not sure I’ve understood anything since before Christmas. You were acting peculiar to start with, but all of a sudden you clammed up tighter than a sealed drum, and I haven’t been able to get a straight answer out of you since.”

“I don’t remember your asking for any kind of answer.”

“There you go talking in riddles again. If you’re still upset because I got angry after the race, I’m sorry, but all I could see was you lying at the bottom of that canyon, your neck broken and your face spattered with mud. It made me crazy; I just couldn’t stand the thought of something happening to you.” Sibyl struggled to hold back the sobs that were choking her, but it was no use. With an explosive burst, she dropped to the sofa. Burch was at her side in an instant.

“For God’s sake, will you tell me what’s wrong? I’m nearly crazy with wanting you, yet you keep me at a distance. I’ve spent days going over everything I’ve said and done almost back to the moment I met you. I know things were pretty bad at first, but I thought we had gotten past that.” He remembered the bliss of holding Sibyl in his arms. “I thought we had gotten past everything.”

“So did I,” Sibyl cried, abruptly turning on him. “I didn’t care about the arguments or your getting mad. None of it mattered, not really, until Emma.” She sobbed piteously. “How
could
you, after all you said, after all we had done?”

“What did I
do?”
asked Burch at a loss.

“I thought I had found someone I could depend on, someone I could trust. I was so sure I would never find anybody like you again that I was ready to give up everything for you, to turn my back on my whole family if necessary. Then you had to destroy it all, and for no more than a few moments of lust.”

“I’m going to rattle the brains right out of your head if you don’t stop talking nonsense, and tell me straight out what’s got you tied in knots,” Burch roared, nearly ready to strangle her in frustration.

“Emma! What else do you think I’m talking about?”

“What about Emma?” Burch shouted, more confused than ever. “I can’t believe you’re really jealous of her. She might as well be my sister.”

“How dare you compare her to a sister!” Sibyl said, rising to her feet in outrage. “I
saw
you. That’s disgusting.”

“You know, I thought I was going crazy when I fell in love with you, and now I know it. For weeks nobody’s been able to figure out anything you’ve said, and still I stand here like a fool trying to make sense of the biggest pack of gibberish I ever heard.”

“Burch Randall, I saw you with my own eyes.”

“What
did you see with your own eyes? Am I supposed to guess, or are you going to keep me in suspense till spring?”

“I saw her
in your arms”
Burch looked blank. “You were
naked!”

“Are you sure you’re not feverish? Me? With Emma? That’s a joke.”

“And the laugh’s on me. Is that what you were going to say?” asked Sibyl, slapping him as hard as she could. “Get out of this house. You are a liar and a cheat and I never want to see you again.”

“I may do just that,” thundered Burch, utterly enraged, “but not before you explain just what the hell you’re talking about. And don’t give me any more of your “you know what I means.” You tell me straight out what it was you think you saw, when you saw it, and where.”

“I saw you, in your bedroom, on Christmas morning,” Sibyl nearly shrieked at him. “She had her arms around your neck and you were kissing her.”

Memory came flooding back, and Burch colored despite himself.

“See, you can’t deny it,” she shouted in miserable triumph. “You know you’re a rotten cheat.”

“That’s not what you saw” Burch said, wondering how to explain to Sibyl what had happened.

“Do you deny it?” she sobbed. “Do you dare deny that I saw her in your arms?”

“Yes, I do. You saw Emma’s arms around me, but you didn’t see my arms around her.”

“It’s the same thing,” Sibyl protested, trying to slap him again.

“No, it’s not,” he retorted, grasping her wrist in a painful grip. “Emma came in my room while I was dressing.”

“Do you always entertain women half clothed?” she asked nearly hysterical, “or is it just those you’ve known since childhood?”

“Will you stop carrying on like a born fool and listen to me?”

“No, I won’t ever listen to you again,” she sobbed, pounding on his chest with all her might. “I hate you, I
hate
you!” It was impossible to calm her down. After weeks of being held under tight control, her anguish spewed forth like a geyser, becoming more and more uncontrollable. As a last resort, Burch slapped her sharply on the cheek. Sibyl’s mouth dropped open and her hand flew to the flaming cheek.

“Now listen to me just one minute before you start shrieking again.” Sibyl was infuriated, but she was silent.

“Emma came sneaking into my room, begging me to marry her. I didn’t pay her any attention at first, but she started to get hysterical and came at me, saying things like she couldn’t live without me and she was saving me from you. I thought she had been in the whiskey and I told her so. That’s when she threw herself on me and begged me to save her ranch. I told her I would help Auggie all I could, but I was going to marry you.”

Sibyl stared at Burch with vacant eyes.

“She got a little crazy then, going on about you so bad I told her if she didn’t stop I was going to have to ask her to leave. Then she broke down and started to cry all over me. I never had a female act like that, and I didn’t know what to do. She threw herself on me again and I guess that was when she wrapped her arms around my neck, I don’t really remember. Anyway, she kissed me, and that’s when I threw her off. I was willing to do what I could to help her recover her spirits, but I wasn’t about to let her think all she had to do was cry, and I’d kiss her back to cheerfulness.”

Sibyl gaped at Burch, the stinging cheek forgotten. She wanted so desperately to believe him that he would be faithful to her in the face of temptation, but she was afraid. What if he wasn’t telling the truth? What if he really did love her but couldn’t stay away from other women who made themselves available? She shuddered at the thought of having to endure such a hell. Far better to have nothing than to reach out for something that was always just beyond her grasp. Burch read the doubt in her eyes.

“You don’t believe me.” It was not a question, just a statement of fact.

Sibyl couldn’t answer. She’d never known a man in her life she would have trusted in similar circumstances. How could she trust this man when he didn’t conform to any of the codes of behavior she understood?

There’re not many rules in the West,” Burch told her, speaking in a solemn voice, “but we have two that no man breaks if he wants to be trusted. We don’t turn on our own kind, and we don’t lie.” He stared hard at Sibyl, and her gaze faltered before his. “I can’t prove what I say without dishonoring Emma, and I won’t do that. You’re going to have to take my word for it. If you can’t trust me, it’s better I know that now.”

“It’s not that I don’t believe you,” Sibyl spoke at last. “I just don’t know what to believe.”

“I don’t see it that way. Either you believe me or you don’t. There’s no in-between.” The love in his eyes had given way to a look of stern, forbidding righteousness.