Write Good or Die (4 page)

The agent is also a unique person, with
certain likes and dislikes and beliefs in what sells and what
doesn’t and who will buy what and why and how every writer should
follow the recent trend and have a vampire do something on page
three.

So you, young writer, believe in this myth of
career planning and trust some stranger to tell you what to write.
The stranger has a different upbringing, a different set of values,
and no idea at all who you really are as a person. They don’t know
your voice or what makes you unique. In fact, to them, you need to
be more like everyone else.

Yet you let the stranger tell you what to
write. And then you wonder why you are not passionate about your
writing anymore. Duh.

From the fact that each of us is different,
each of us is unique, it should become clear that no writer should
ever listen to anyone else, family, spouse, kids, workshop, or
agent to tell them what to write next.

Just write your own book. That way lays
success. Anything else is just a disaster or failure waiting to
happen.

BUSINESS vs. AGENT CAREER PLANNING MYTH

Agents flat don’t know a writer’s business.
That is a truth. Some may think they do, but they don’t understand
writer cash flow, don’t understand how writers make money, let
alone how much time and effort it takes us to produce a product.
They don’t know and shouldn’t be expected to know. (If you think
all your writing money comes through your agent, wow, do you have a
lot to learn about the business of being a writer.)

But to an agent only concerned with their own
business (which writers do not understand, either), they want to
sell books. And if there is a current trend, agents want their
clients to write into that current trend, even though a trend is
usually two years old by the time an agent catches a whiff of
it.

I had an agent call me four years after the
vampire craze started and ask if I had a vampire novel. Wow, that
was a human ahead of the curve. Not. Another agent called me after
the Titanic movie became a hit and said, “Didn’t you publish a book
about the Titanic once?” I said I had a novel that partially set on
the Titanic, but that was it, and it didn’t fit. Agent didn’t
believe me and wanted to see it, so I sent it and then agent wrote
me a snippy note asking why I thought that book would ever fit
being reprinted. I just laughed and said nothing.

So, because the agent thinks it would be good
business for you to sell another book just like your last one, or
worse yet, just like the one they just sold for another client,
they tell you to write that. And if that one sells, they tell you
write it again. And again. And again, until finally it doesn’t sell
anymore and they drop you.

Now understand, I am not talking about series
characters, or writers who love to write just mysteries or just
science fiction. Back to the top. Write what you love first and
foremost, then worry about how to sell it. If you love mysteries,
write them. If you love science fiction, write that. If you have a
series character you love to spend time with, keep writing books
with that character.

But if the only reason you are writing the
next mystery is because your agent wanted you to write it when your
passion has moved to romantic suspense, then you are in
trouble.

To an agent’s business, it makes great sense
to tell writers to write the same book over and over again.

To a writer’s business, it makes no sense to
write anything they are not passionate about. To do anything else
dooms the business.

Speed Advice from all three perspectives:
Art, Personal, and Business.

Well, every agent I know will utter the
phrase: “Slow down and take your time and do your best work.”

That career advice shows ZERO understanding
of how writing is done from the creative side of the brain, how
each writer writes at their own natural speed, how slowing down and
writing from a critical perspective usually creates complete crap.
The statement shows no understanding at all of how art is created
by great writers.

And, of course, it shows no understanding at
all of you as a person. Or even your writing methods. You are
unique and maybe the best advice to you would be speeding up, or
cutting down on rewriting, or doing some rewriting. The agent
doesn’t know. They just spout a myth at you like it’s good career
advice, even though every writer is completely different.

To an agent’s business model of only needing
one or so books a year from an author, it makes complete sense to
say such stupidity.

But to a writer’s business model, where more
product means more money, more chance of hitting it big, more
chance of creating art, unnaturally slowing down is just stupid
business advice.

Some projects write fast, some write slow,
some art has been created quickly, some art took longer. Study the
history of writers and how long it actually took artists in the
past to write something to completely understand this.

But the key is, you are unique, write at your
own speed what you want to write.

PUTTING A BOOK AWAY CAREER ADVICE.

This is yet again the stupidest career advice
ever given to a writer. Some agent will say, “Why don’t you put
that book away and work on the next one?”

My response is “While I’m working on the next
one, why don’t you quit looking for excuses to not work and mail
the book to five more editors?”

But, of course, you would never say that
because they would mail it dead, meaning they would kill it in
their cover letters to editors just to prove themselves right. But
what you do is fire them, take the book back, and mail it yourself
while you work on the next book. Duh.

Never let anyone tell you to shelve a book
for any reason. ANY REASON. And reasons agents give that seem
logical to young professionals are things like:

—“
Your career isn’t ready
for this book.” Huh?

—“
This book clearly isn’t
strong enough for you to break in with.” Says who?

—“
We got five rejections and
it’s not working. Write the next book and we’ll see what we can
do.” Lazy SOB.

Let me say this again. NEVER let anyone tell
you to NOT market a book. Not your spouse, not your workshop, and
certainly not some stranger who has a business card that says agent
on it. Put your work in front of people who can buy it and keep it
there. That’s good business. Nothing short of that is.

Again, back to a point I have made over and
over in the other agent chapters in this book. Agents are not
trained in any fashion. They have no schooling for agents, no
organization that polices them. They have not gone to any
publishing business school. They have nothing but a business card
and an opinion.

So it’s bad enough that we writers trust them
with our money, with picking editors to mail something to, with
trying to get our books into Hollywood or overseas.

But it gets worse when we let an agent step
into our writing offices in any fashion and give career advice.
They are not writers, so they wouldn’t know good career advice if
it hit them. They are not interested in writers’ careers, only
their own anyway. So any advice would just be focused on what was
best for them, not for you.

And they don’t know you as a person.

In summary:

—
Write what you love, what
you are passionate about, what scares you, what you
want.

—
Never, ever write to
market. Just go into your writing space or office and be an
artist.

—
Then, when the project is
finished, worry about how to sell it.

—
Never, ever let anyone tell
you what to write. It will kill your writing and your career faster
than anything ever will.

Trust your own skills, your own voice, keep
learning, and enjoy the writing.

Dean Wesley
Smith—http://www.deanwesleysmith.com

###

BUSINESS

23. PITCHING YOUR BOOK

By Douglas Clegg

http://www.douglasclegg.com

If you're an aspiring writer, the game of
getting published seems hard. No one really tells you what to do,
and as games go, the publishing game seems mysterious from the
outside. Agents and editors both are busy, and to get your book or
story across, you need to capture their attention quickly so
they'll take a second look and want to read your finished book or
partial.

You can improve your chances in having your
book—or books—seriously considered by a publisher or an agent by
creating a winning query letter.

This is my current tip for aspiring novelists
that I hope will help you cut through the confusing clutter of
advice about pitching your novel—whether in a query letter to an
agent or an editor, or if you actually get to meet an editor and
sit face-to-face at a convention or other gathering.

I know how rough it can be, particularly when
starting out. Believe in yourself, in what you write, and keep
learning the craft.

The DO NOTS:

1. Do not go on and on in your query. No
matter how wonderful you are, and no matter how fascinating it is
to you to describe hundreds of pages of your novel in loving
detail—it's boring. Accept it and move on.

It's the reading of the book that needs to be
engaging and engrossing, and the only way an agent or editor may
get to that is if your synopsis in your query letter is engaging,
too.

2. Do not suck up. Seriously. No kissing of
the derriere will sell your novel to any editor or agent, even if
it works with your boss.

On the other hand, don't insult 'em either,
obviously.

Be direct, respectful, and as brief as you
possibly can (but make sure you get across the gist of what's great
in your novel.)

All right, here goes.

This was part of a letter I sent to an
aspiring novelist who asked about the query. It includes two "off
the top of my head" synopses of novels of mine put in the form that
I believe it is good to think about.

Do not imitate what I've written. Get the
SPIRIT of it.

Your book has got to sell itself. The best
you can do is pitch it, and step out of the way so your novel can
work its magic on the editor or agent.

Having said that, you absolutely need to make
your story come alive in a few sentences. I can't do that for you,
but you can.

HERE'S THE DEEP DARK SECRET OF PITCHING YOUR
NOVEL:

Imagine you have less than a minute to tell
your friend about a great movie you just saw, or a terrific book
you just read. In fact, pick one that you loved.

Describe it quickly, on paper. I bet you can
do this in under a minute. If you can't, then practice, practice,
practice.

Find out what is unique and compelling in
your book and put that into a few sentences.

Work on it.

Cut, shape, and take ten minutes afterward to
make sure these sentences work.

The premise of your novel needs to be strong
enough to be summed up quickly—otherwise, it stands a chance of
sounding like a muddle or a series of abstractions that can't find
anything concrete to rest upon.

Plus this synopsis has to be interesting. And
brief.

If you really want this book to sell, you
have to be tough on this kind of stuff and make the leap to
professionalism.

It's simpler than you suspect.

If your novel has a strong premise, and you
understand this premise (as you should—you had to believe in it
enough to write an entire novel, right?) whittle those words down
to three to six sentences that are compelling and at least tell
what's most important about the story:

Think in terms of the big picture.

EXAMPLE ONE

Here's an example for my
novel
Bad Karma
,
written under my pen name Andrew Harper:

"A beautiful, murderous patient of a psych
hospital for the criminally insane is obsessed with the psych tech
who cares for her. When he and his family vacation on Catalina
Island off the coast of California, she goes on a rampage and
escapes to hunt them down—because she believes that he is the
reincarnation of a lover from her past life—Jack the Ripper. This
is a fast-paced thriller dealing with reincarnation, human madness,
and murder—set at both a psych hospital as well as on Catalina
Island, with flashbacks to 19th century London with the Jack the
Ripper scenes."

THREE SENTENCES. Admittedly, two of 'em are a
bit long. But not all that long.

And you know what? When I look at those few
sentences now, they're not perfect—I know that. But they convey the
story briefly, and if an editor or agent isn't interested in seeing
the book, they'll know in under a minute and can move on with their
lives.

And so can I.

By the way, that book sold in under 10 days
to a NY publisher, and was later picked up for the movies
(admittedly, it was made into a very bad movie, but the check was
good and the popcorn tasted great.) I later sold two sequels, as
well.

EXAMPLE TWO

Another for my recent
novel,
The Priest of
Blood
:

"In this tale of swords, sorcery, and
vampires, a boy grows to manhood in a brutal medieval world. Rising
in his station through his talent as a falconer, he falls in love
with the baron's daughter—but when their love is found out, he is
forcibly conscripted into the Crusades. There, despairing of life,
he seeks death—and finds his destiny as a messiah of vampires in
the bloody embrace of a female vampire called Pythia.

Filled with ancient buried
kingdoms, battles against the Saracens, as well as a quest for a
legendary Priest of Blood who will bring power to this falconer,
this is the first book of a proposed dark fantasy trilogy
called
The Vampyricon
.