Wrestling Against Myself (66 page)

“With man it is impossible, but with God all things are possible,” Tony quoted the Bible.

Pastor Bob nodded in approval. “But now is the time to deal with the things that are before us.”

“What is that?”

“I didn't know if you were going to come or not, but Pastor Wayne and I discussed if you did. We would like to anoint you with oil and lay hands on you. It's not anything showy or in front of the conversation. Just me, Pastor Wayne and the deacons, if you have no objections.”

“Of course I don't,” Tony said.

“Good. I would challenge you to a game of ping pong, but I still think I'm at a disadvantage even with you on crutches.”

Tony laughed. “I think my ego has been bruised enough this month as it is.”

The sanctuary was dimly lit, which struck Tony as
odd as he stood before the altar surrounded by the pastors and elders of the church. He often didn't come into the sanctuary on Wednesday nights, skipping prayer meeting so he could attend youth group with his friends. It was odd not to see the sun lighting up the stain glass windows and it gave the place of worship a more somber mood.

“Do you think you can kneel,” Pastor Wayne whispered into the teenager's ear. “It's okay if you can't but it is preferred.”

“I can get down, but I'll need help getting back up,” Tony replied in a soft voice.

Pastor Wayne gave his a reassuring, yet compassionate look. Tony remember that this was the man who baptized him a year before and he had the same misgivings if the man could bring him back up from the water. Though up in years with mostly gray hair, the pastor had a powerful grip and strong arms from an early career in carpentry. “Please,” the man said as he took a step back and extended his hand toward a spot of carpet before the alter.

Tony handed his crutches to one of the elders and both Pastor Wayne and Pastor Bob eased him to his knees. As soon as his legs touched the floor he winced in pain but was mindful not to give any audible sign he was in distress. As soon as he settled into a comfortable position, his body adapted and didn't hurt as much.

“It is rare that we do this at the church,” Pastor Wayne said as the group closed in on the teenager. “Usually it is done in a hospital or at a home when a person is unable to attend the services. We, as a church body, discussed this and thought it was appropriate considering the circumstances. It is important that we didn't do this in front of crowds, it is not something to be made a spectacle of and though it is possible, this is not designed to heal you immediately of all your ailments.”

There was a slight pause. “I understand,” Tony responded as he felt a strange sense of peace and comfort come over him. The last time he was on his knees surrounded by a group of men they were trying to tear him down and end his life. This group of men was trying to build him up and beseech God that his days be lengthened.

“Tiny, please bow your head and close your eyes.”

Antonio always got a kick when people at church referred to him by his nickname, but figured God knew who they were referring to when they spoke of Tiny. He lowered his head and closed his eyes.

“In the name of Christ,” Pastor Wayne said as he poured the oil out of an ornate crystal vase over the teenager’s short hair.

Tony stayed still as his breathing slowed. He tried to remain in that peace he felt, but he felt the world trying to tear him away. With his eyes close, the world was completely dark, just as it was when he was in the school parking lot as several of his schoolmates were trying to stomp the life out of him. As the oil dripped down his forehead and splattered to the floor the wanted to open his eyes to make sure it wasn't his own blood.

The elders and pastors extended their hands and placed them on the hulking teenager. Some on his shoulders or back but he was aware of two that touched the top of his head being careful not to press down on the large knot that remained.

Tony spasmed as he felt the electricity of the hands that were touching him and could feel his arms and legs tremble beneath him.

“You're safe,” Pastor Bob whispered into his ear. “No one is going to hurt you here, but we need your mind and spirit in the here and now.”

Tony took a deep breath and regained his composure. Slowly his arms and legs quit shaking and he found himself at ease, as if whatever storm was attacking his mind decided to settle. He thought of the Gospels, how Jesus commanded the storm “peace, be still,” and he felt it was so.

“Better,” Pastor Bob whispered and Tony became aware that the deacons were praying softly over him. They all spoke in English, but it was hard to understand what each was saying as they spoke at the same time.

“It doesn't matter,” Tony thought as he felt pins and needles around his head and torso, as if the light of God was something to be felt and he was being infused with something supernatural.

Then the deacons stopped their prayers, one by one, until the last man said amen.

“Lord,” Pastor Wayne spoke powerfully but without raising his voice. “We pray from brother Tiny. That you will not only heal his body, but his mind as well. Give him strength, not only to walk without the aid of crutches, but the strength to forgive those who inflicted the wounds to his body and to his psyche. Take away all bitterness; do not allow it to take root, O Lord. Be with him and help him seek your will in all things. In your son's precious and Holy name.”

“Amen,” the gathering said in unison.

Antonio was helped to his feet. There was no miraculous healing; in fact his legs were weaker from kneeling down for so long. He noticed that he felt lighter, as if a burden had been lifted. He thanked the men for their time and their prayers and made his way up the aisle as the others remained behind.

Tony wondered if he was getting more sore as the days went by. It wasn't any easier getting around school and he was in a lot of pain. He could have taken the medicine the doctors gave
him, but it seemed to put him in a fog that lasted for hours and he didn't enjoy that feeling no matter how better it made his aches feel.

Since he was unable to drive, Tony went back to using his locker and found he had to go between each and every period because he couldn't navigate with the crutches and hold too much stuff. Mr. Fenton offered to have a student follow him and help him throughout the day, but the teenager thought it would be weird for him to have a valet.

At his locker, Tony was swapping out books for his final class before lunch.

“Hey Tiny,” John Sharp said as he saddled up to his friend. “You get any sympathy sex yet?”

“No,” Tony said coarsely.

“You better act on it now or the offers are going to run out.”

“You know me better than that.”

“It's a shame you aren't using these crutches to their full benefit. Can I use them when you're done?”

“Why? Aren't the girls flocking to your side?”

“You would think I could get some hero sex, but all I got were a few pecks on the cheek.”

“I'm not that kind of guy either,” Tony said with a straight face.

“Oh my God, Tiny made a joke. They must have hit you harder on the head than I thought.”

“John,” Tony turned gravely serious.

“I know what you're going to say. Now don't get all mushy on me and make me regret saving your ass. You would have done the same for me and we'll leave it at that. If you start blubbering or crying, I swear to God I will beat you with one of your own crutches.”

“Okay, Mr. Tough guy.”

“And, you're welcome.

Tony knew something was up when the hallway grew silent. He peeked from inside his locker to see Courtney walking towards him. She still greased back her hair and kept it in a tight pony tail like the skater punks did. She gave up wearing her dresses for a pair of jeans and a ratty t-shirt.

“Hey Courtney,” Tony said with a smile.

“The name is Corey,” she said. “C-O-R-E-Y,” she spelled out so there would be no mistake.

“What in the world has gotten into you?”

“
Nothing has gotten into me. What's gotten into you?”

Tony was taken aback by her attitude. It was like he was talking to a different person. “Nothing. I missed spending time with you and we need to talk about going to homecoming together.”

“I'm not going to homecoming with you. What are you, some sort of fagot?”

“Hey!” John Sharp yelled as he stepped between the two.

Tony tried to move John to the side, but didn't have the strength he once did. “It's okay, John. It's between me and her.”

“What her?” Courtney shouted. “There is no her, you queer. It was a game, a joke I was playing on the school. I'm sorry you were so stupid that you got hurt, I didn't know you were such a gullible wuss.”

“Courtney, it doesn't have to be this way.”

“You call me Courtney once again, and crutches or no crutches I'll flatten you good.”

Tony stared into his girlfriend's eyes. He didn't see anger there, but he couldn't understand the charade. She wasn't mad, but looked every bit as frightened as the day he first met her. “We can work this out, Courtney. Really we can.”

“That's it.” Courtney jumped up and threw a wild hay maker that connected flush with Tony's jaw, sending the larger teen staggering back more in shock than in pain.

“That's it,” John Sharp said as he slammed the girl into the locker and pulled his arm back.

Courtney closed her eyes and turned her head as she waited for the blow to come.

“John, don't.”

“He's been asking for it and he has it coming to him,” John said even though he didn't let his fist fly.

“Even so, let it be. For me.”

John let go of the freshman. “That's two you owe me, Tiny. But this one better watch his mouth because I will shut it for him.”

The bell rang, signally to students that they had a minute to get to class.

Courtney gathered her things and ran away as fast as possible.

“You don't need to put up with that kind of garbage, Tiny,” John Sharp said as he made his way down the hall with his friend.

“I don't know what that was all about, but that's not the person I've come to know.”

“Maybe not, but maybe he was telling the truth. Maybe the whole Courtney thing was some kind of joke he played on us all and he had most of us fooled.”

Silently, Tony admitted it was a possibility, but something in the core of his being told him it wasn't so.

The lunchroom was as loud as it normally was and even though he was on crutches, people were beginning to act normal around Tony and not treat him as if he were a carnival side show. He resumed bringing lunch with him, knowing that by not working out he could put on the pounds quickly.

“Missed you at the prayer meeting this morning,” Carl said as he sat down at the table.

“I thought you guys created your own,” Tony said as he picked at his chef's salad. Ever since being hurt he didn't have much of an
appetite.

“I think that's over with,” Tracy said as she sat next to Carl. “If the rumors are correct, that is.”

“What rumors are those?” Tony asked.

“We heard that Corey admitted everything to you, that the Courtney thing was some joke he was playing on everyone and he even went so far as to punch you when you called him by the girl's name.”