Wrestling Against Myself (36 page)

Tony walked into the corridor, it was strange for it to be the middle of the day and not see hundreds of fellow teenagers milling about. He made his way towards his locker, though he didn't know why. It wasn't like he had been using it and didn't fathom a guess as to whether Courtney was still using hers. It was nice to have a locker available, but outside of keeping the text books for classes that didn't use them stored for the semester, Antonio didn't see the point.

The locker was left unmolested. He assumed that much for his own, but even Courtney's was left alone. No one decided to deface school property again, and Tony figured it was a good thing. Even the smell of fresh paint was gone and the only evidence of the graffiti was his own memories.

“Why can't people let things be,” Tony said as he leaned his head on the locker door and thought back to the morning. “Two friends,” Tony said aloud. “Two friends decided to back away and not stand by her. Why? She isn't a bad person. Don't they know that? She's just a girl with issues like everyone else, what's wrong about that? Do they think she is making being a girl up? That she is doing this so she can get attention? Who would want that kind of attention? They called it 'her sin'. Is what she is doing sin? I don't know, Lord, I really don't. I know she is a person that needs a friend, and I don't have a problem with that.”

“You talking to yourself again Tiny?” John Sharp said from down the hall.

Tony snapped his head from the locker and spun towards the voice. “No. Just working things out.”

“Looks like you're going crazy. You're talking and nobody is around, unless you were talking to me.”

“I was talking to God.”

“Oh, your imaginary friend.”

Antonio gave John a look that warned his younger friend that he was close to crossing the line. It wasn't out of John's personality not to needle Tony in order to get a rise out of him. Though he would get his toes on the line, he had a knack for not crossing it.

“Sorry Tiny,” John Sharp apologized. “I heard there is trouble in Tiny-land.”

“You hear lots of things, John. I wouldn't believe all of what goes around this school.”

“Like the rumor about your friend? I didn't get the details, but I heard you found out the truth about that girl; or is it a girl?”

Tony's lips grew thin. “She is a girl.”

“Are you sure, did you check? Did Tiny get lucky?”

Tony squared off against the smaller student.

John Sharp put his hands up to show he didn't want any kind of fight with the larger wrestler. “Relax, Tiny. I was only teasing you.”

“It's a shame you won't be on the mat for preseason workouts because you're afraid of what people might say about you being around Courtney.”

John shrugged. “A man's got to do what a man's got to do.”

“Since when were you a slave to what others in this school ever said?”

“I'm not. You want to know the truth?”

“That would be a nice change of pace.”

“I didn't want to spend after school getting my butt whipped. Carl's got 60 pounds on me right now and you got more than 100. Once in a while it's fun to be tossed around, but it hurts my pride.”

Antonio didn't know whether he should believe his friend. “Why didn't you simply tell that to me?”

“Because the other story would piss you off more.”

“Sometimes you push things too far.”

“You know me.”

Tony shook his head. “Sometimes I regret that.”

“I heard you got in trouble. What did you do Tiny? Did you give someone a pounding?”
 

“If I did, don't you think you would've already heard about it?”

“Maybe. Are you going to get suspended? Huh, huh? Is it going to be in-school or are they kicking you out for good? Come on, Tiny, you can tell me.”
“They're not kicking me out. Mr. Fenton just wanted to talk to me about stuff at the school.”

“I bet it's about your little girl friend. Or is it boy friend?”

“You don't quit, do you? Yes, Mr. Fenton wanted to talk to me about Courtney.”

“Did he tell you that she had a pecker?”

“John!”

“I heard you know the truth. So, what's the truth, Tiny? You always tell the truth and you know something for sure that everyone else is just guessing at.”

“I wonder what you would do if you knew the truth.”

“Come on, Tiny. I just want to know for me. Is she one of those people who are both? That's my guess. She has both boy and girl parts.”

“No, she is not a hermaphrodite.”

“Then what is she?” John demanded.

“You'll hear this soon enough so I might as well tell you. The rumors are true, kind of.”

“What do you mean 'kind of'?”

Though he wanted to drop the conversation completely, Antonio felt as if he didn't have a choice. He knew that once John got his mind on something, he would pursue it to the bitter end. “Courtney is a girl that was born in the body of a boy.”

“Wow! For real? I thought it was some bullshit that people were making up.”

“Now you know.”

“Wow! So what are you going to do?”

“What do you mean, what am I going to do?”

“I mean are you going to beat the queer out of him?”

“This is why I don't tell you things.”

“Come on Tiny, you can tell me. Are you going to kick his little ass and make a man out of him or are you going to throw him to the wolves and let Peter and his group have all the fun.”

Tony grabbed John by the shoulders, lifted him in the air as if he didn't weigh a thing and spun towards the lockers. He put the kid gently back on the ground, but made sure he was against the locker as he held him in place. “Listen to me and listen good,” Tony said with an even voice though he knew his anger was evident. “Courtney is not a he and you will not refer to her as a he. She is a human being and deserves to be treated with the same decency and respect as everyone else, do I make myself clear?”

John nodded his head yes.

“Good. I am not going to beat the queer out of her because she isn't a queer and that is not the way I do things. I won't stand around and watch others do it as well. All she wants is to be herself and live a regular life. Do you have a problem with that?”

“No.”

“Good.” Tony took his hands off John's shoulders. “I'm glad we came to this understanding.”

“Geez, Tiny, don't get your panties all in a bunch.”

“Just back off from her. She isn't doing you any harm.”

“I never said she was.” John started to relax again. “But can you do one thing for me, Tiny.”

“What, John?”

“Can you pick me up and toss me into the locker again? That was fun.” 

Tony playfully cuffed John upside his head. “One day I'm going to have normal friends.”

“I thought you liked this Courtney girl.”

“I was talking about you.”

“Oh!”

The bell signaling that third period was over rang and the hallway soon filled with other students. With others around, the conversation dropped and John merged with the stream of students that made their way down the hall. Tony stood with his back on his locker and watched the boy disappear through the door. He always had a hard time reading John and didn't know where his friend stood on matters. There was a chance that John Sharp would back off on Courtney, but his friend's sheer joy of instigating problems was the wild card. Only time would tell and it was just another item on a long list of things Tony would need to pray about.

Tony was glad that he started bringing his lunch. He was getting tired of eating hamburgers
every day, especially considering how unhealthy they were. The large wrestler sat down at the front table, getting there before anyone else had a chance and waited.

Antonio watched as Shannon came into the dining hall and gave his friend a wave when the football player looked his way.  Shannon sneered in return and turned his head away.

“So much for giving him time to come to his senses,” Tony said to his turkey sandwich.

Shannon reemerged into the dining area with a tray of food. The heavy teen walked to the table where the other football players were sitting and joined that group instead. Tony wondered if this was going to be a permanent development or a temporary setback. He didn't like the idea of losing a friend, but was more disturbed over the reason why.

“Tiny!” Carl said as he sat across from his friend, Tracy right beside him.

Antonio turned his head quickly and saw the two before him. “Sorry, didn't see you come in.”

“I could tell,” Carl said with a smile. “What's gotten your attention now?”

“Shannon. He decided to go sit with the football players.”

“Yeah,” Tracy sympathized. “He's pretty mad.”

Tony sighed. “What does he have to be mad about?”

“He's a football player, do they ever need a reason to be mad,” Carl joked.

Tracy gave Carl a glance that removed the smug look from his face. “I think he feels like he'd been lied to.”

“I didn't lie to him; I told him the truth as soon as I found out.”

“Not by you,” Carl interjected. “But by Courtney.”

“Ridiculous,” Tony said out of frustration. “I think Courtney is coming to school and living life as a girl so she stops lying to herself.”

“I haven't thought of it that way,” Tracy said. “I think it's weird, but what can you do?”

“I don't know if I agree with what she's doing,” Carl said. “But I'm not going to cast the first stone.”

“Think of it this way, Tracy,” Tony turned his attention to the girl. “How would you feel if you were born with a penis?”

“Gross!”

“My point exactly. But what if you were the same person you are today, only in a boy’s body?”

Tracy scrunched up her face.

“That's what I thought,” Antonio said pointedly.

“Think of the benefits,” Carl needled the girl.

“What benefits?”

“You could pee standing up and write your name in the snow.” Carl shrugged.

“Completely gross.”

“Guys,” Tony said. “Please.”

“Anyway, what are we going to do?” Tracy asked.

“What are we going to do about what?” Dave said as he started to sit down with Ted by his side.

“We were just talking about Courtney,” Carl informed.

“Oh, her again,” Ted said glumly.

“Yes, her again.” Tony gave the two a questioning look.

“She's been the topic of conversation everywhere we go,” Dave said. “We've been approached before and after every class about how could we be friends with a freak.”

“She is not a freak,” Tony said strongly.