Wounded But Not Scarred (New Adult Rockers 2) (27 page)

“This is a great day,” our pilot
says into our headphones and I grin at him.

We had been warned that on some
days the volcano is not very active, or there’s so much smoke, clouds and haze,
that it’s nearly impossible to see anything.

He narrates for a few seconds,
explaining some of the history of Mt. Kilauea, and I listen with rapt
attention. We dip some more, and he flies the helicopter from every angle. We
span back out over the ocean and black beaches and I watch the lava tubes and
steam vents.

I glance back over at Blake who is
shaking his head in amazement. This has to be the most amazing, yet most
frightening thing I have ever witnessed in my life.

“I love nature!” I yell and Blake
grins again before his eyes are pulled downwards once more.

After an indefinite amount of time,
the helicopter rises back into the sky, and we circle back towards one of the
less active areas, and we fly low to the remaining black sand beaches. After
another thirty minutes or so, we turn around and head towards a few other
sights, but I know that none will be as impressive as Mt. Kilauea.

Our tour finishes up and drops us
back off at the airport. Blake and I make our way to our car, both of so much
in awe that we don’t speak.

We’re driving away before I look
over at Blake.

“That was incredible.”

“I know. Holy shit.”

I suddenly feel sad. “I don’t want
to go home,” I pout.

“Let’s not think about that. Come
on. Let’s go find a nice little place to have dinner. I think I saw a little
restaurant sitting back on the beach a few miles from here.”

We end up finding the restaurant,
and it’s one of those hidden local gems. We’re given a table by the open
windows, and the sea breeze feels refreshing. Our waiter lights a small candle
for us, and I order a fruity cocktail while Blake orders a beer. We decide to
order a bunch of small dishes so we can try everything, and to our happy
surprise, a guitar player begins to play Hawaiian music in the back of the
restaurant.

I have never been so happy in my
life.

It was hard to imagine that less
than a year ago I was still living in Bristol, a shell of a person as I
robotically went through every day. I had worked my few jobs – teaching guitar,
being a barista and playing gigs at night, and fastened my numerous locks every
time I came home.

I was stuck in the past and living
with so much fear.

And then my father showed up and
turned my entire world upside down.

How could I be so lucky? So
fortunate?

I keep waiting for it all to be
taken away, for someone to jump out and yell “Surprise! It was only tease! You
don’t get to be this happy!”

I had shared this with Blake
before, shared that I didn’t feel that I deserved to be this happy, deserved to
have this much. A wonderful relationship with both my parents, an amazing music
career that was only just beginning, a handsome and loving husband and now a
beautiful home. Who gets all of that?

But Blake always said that if
anyone deserved it, it was me. And hadn’t I been through hell? I keep waiting
for the other shoe to drop, but didn’t I already pay my dues? I had been to Hell.
I had lived there for years, a prisoner. Didn’t I earn my happiness?

I hope so. I don’t think I could
ever go back to my old life now that I knew so much joy and love.

There had been some downs this year
too. My grandmother’s death had been the most upsetting. I was still adjusting
to a world without her in it. And even our trials with Savannah had toughened
me up further, shown me just how much I loved Blake and how unwilling I was for
anyone to come between us.

“Whatcha thinking about?” Blake
asks, looking intently at me, his green eyes brilliant in the candlelight.

“Just how much my life has changed
in a year,” I say softly.

“My life too,” Blake agrees.

I sometimes forget how much his
life has changed too. A year ago he was engaged to Savannah, just on the brink
of his own successful career. I still feel somewhat guilty about his
relationship with Savannah ending, but he has assured me it would never work
out, and there’s no denying that Blake and I are meant to be together.

We finish our meal, which to no
surprise is delicious, and we get back in our rented car to drive home to our
villa. We only have a few short days left in Hawaii, but I’m excited to return
to our new house. We had spent so much time before the wedding rushing to get
the house prepared, and now I was looking forward to relaxing at home and
nesting.

Blake pushes back the moon roof and
I look up at the twinkling stars. To my right lies the Pacific, the water
glimmering under the moon and to my left sits my true love.

I don’t think life gets any better
than this.

“Damn it!” I yell, jamming my
finger against the cabinet.

“What is it?” Blake calls from the
other room.

“Nothing,” I complain, “I just
jammed my finger.” I unwrap the granola bar and walk over to Blake. “I’m just
so hungry,” I grumble.

Blake raises his eyebrows. “We just
had a huge breakfast.”

“I know.” I sigh and plop down next
to him. “What are you doing?”

“I was just looking over some of
the album sales that Jackson sent over. Rust is doing really well.” He looks
over at me and gives me his sexy grin. “Of course not as well as your music,
but we’re still doing well.”

I playfully shove him. “What’s mine
is ours.”

He laughs. “Gotta love marriage.”

I get up and wander upstairs,
passing a handmade glass turtle that we had picked up in Hawaii. We had been
back for a little over two weeks and we were finally adjusting to our house in
Belle Meade. Yesterday I had finally finished going through all of our wedding
presents and putting them all away. Our friends and families had been more than
generous, and I had been touched by their thoughtful gifts.

Blake and I were taking the rest of
the spring and summer off, at least for the most part. We still had a few
appearances, and a couple of shows booked, but after our two grueling tours and
our CD, we had earned some time. We were planning on getting back into the
studio at the end of the summer to start working on some music for our next
CDs. The label wanted to release something in the spring of next year, hoping to
follow up on the success of our current albums.

We still hoped to cut our own CD
one day, but for now we were going to stick to our own projects.

Once in our bedroom, I wander into
our bathroom for some lip balm. My stomach grumbles again and I don’t understand
why I am still hungry. I go digging through my makeup, and I find a stray
tampon.

“This doesn’t belong in there,” I
say to myself, plucking it out and opening the cabinet under the sink so I can
stow it in the proper place. I shove the tampon into an open box. Two small
blue boxes behind it catch my eye. I roll my eyes thinking of Jami who had
brought over the pregnancy tests, along with some other so-called “necessities”
that she said every girl needed in their bathroom cabinets
just in case.

I look at the tampons again and
then back to the pregnancy tests.

“Wait a sec.”

I try to count back in my head,
recalling when my last period had been. It had been before the wedding. But we
had been back from our honeymoon for more than two weeks, and we had been away
for two weeks. That was at least four weeks.

I feel my face pale as I try to
think back how many days before the wedding I had gotten. It had been at least
a week. I get major bloating when I have my period, and I know I was not
dealing with that directly before we got married.

“No,” I say, knowing that it can’t
be possible. I wasn’t great about taking the pill while we were on our
honeymoon, but whenever I forgot, I just made up for it and took two at once.
We had been on such a different schedule, that it had been hard to remember to
take it every night.

I fish in the cabinet for one of
the pregnancy tests and pull it out to study it.

“I can’t be.”

Screw it. I rip open the box. I
need to settle this once and for all. Maybe my period is just messed up because
I didn’t take my pills on time. I’m sure this kind of thing happens all the
time. It had been less than a year since I had been on the pill, so I’m sure
there was a lot about taking it that I didn’t know.

I pull out the tiny white stick and
look at the back of the box.

Seems easy enough. All I do is pee
on the stick and then wait two minutes. It will either say “pregnant” or “not
pregnant.” I’m suddenly grateful Jami bought me these easy-to-read tests.

I pop the cap off, situate myself
on the toilet and do my business. I stick the cap back on, and lay the stick on
my sink.

I walk out of the bathroom and pace
in my bedroom, too pent up to sit still. I mean, this really can’t be, it’s
more just a precautionary thing. Just checking.

Even though Blake and I are married
now, we were going to wait a year or two before having kids. We had briefly
mentioned getting our next albums started. There was no rush really. We weren’t
even thirty yet.

I think two minutes have passed and
I hurry back into the bathroom. It’s definitely going to say “Not pregnant” but
I just need to be sure.

I look at the tiny stick.

“This has to be wrong,” I gasp.
Nowhere is the word “not.” Only the word “pregnant.”

I look at it again.

How is that tiny, three letter word
not showing up?

Where the hell is “not?”

I rip open the second box; repeat
the procedure, thinking maybe I had a broken test before. But no, the second
one also clearly states that I am in fact, pregnant.

“Blake?” I call shakily. “I need
you up here.”

A moment later I hear him trotting
up the steps.

He takes one look at my face.
“What’s wrong?”

I feel my eyes well up with tears,
and I can’t speak.

I hold out the two sticks and with
a look of surprise he takes them from me.

He studies them.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, sinking to
the floor. I feel like I’ve just ruined our lives, ruined our careers.

“Baby,” he says softly. “Why are
you sorry?”

I look up at him and he’s grinning
like a fool.

“You’re not angry?” I stutter.

“No, of course I’m not angry! I
admit, I’m surprised, and I know this isn’t what we planned, but it’s
wonderful?”

“Really?” Now I’m crying from
yo-yoing between so many emotions.

“Yes! It’s wonderful! Hot damn!
We’re going to have a baby!”

“Oh my gosh,” I say slowly. “A
baby.”

Blake takes me in his arms, and
kisses me.

“This is the best news, really.
You’re going to be a terrific mother.”

Oh my gosh. I’m going to be a
mother.

“I hope it’s a son,” I say quickly.

“No,” Blake says softly. “A sweet
little girl, just as beautiful as you.”

I lean my head against Blake’s
shoulder, lost in thought about the new addition to our family.

This is actually happening.

And somehow I know that’s it meant
to be.

# # #

Book #3 Will feature
Blake and Paige's daughter on her own romantic, music inspired love story.

The book will be out
in December 2013!!!