Worth Waiting For (7 page)

“Oh.” Ainslie sighed. “I see so many kids who are overweight these days. I know the world is so different now, but it’s very disturbing to me. I’ve had some success in a multi-disciplinary program I started for obese pre-teens.”

“Wow, that’s awesome.” He paused. “Hence the issues with video games?”

“In part. Video games are not the root of all evil, despite what I said earlier.”

“Get out of here. You were arguing with me about something you didn’t really believe?”

She laughed. “Only in part. I do believe they’re part of the problem, but the whole thing isn’t so simple.”

“Then I have a confession to make.”

“What?” Curiosity shone in her clear blue eyes.

“I didn’t really believe all the stuff I was saying either.”

“Huh?” Her brows drew together briefly. “So you’re saying you do realize it’s a problem for some kids to play video games too much?”

“Yeah, I guess that’s what I’m saying.” He could say more, but he’d leave it for now. “We were having an argument just for fun,” he pointed out a little roguishly.

Her lips twitched. “And it
was
kind of fun.”

He smiled back at her. Man, he was sinking deep and fast. “It takes a lot of confidence to do that.” He could see in her eyes that she knew he was giving her another compliment. “You’re surprising me, Dr. Ainslie Patterson.”

After purchasing some wine, over which they also argued amiably, they drove back to Ainslie’s place.

“That was a nice afternoon.” She stretched her legs out in the car and leaned back into her seat.

“You got some freckles.”

She lifted a hand to her nose. “Oh, no! I can’t believe I forgot sunscreen!”

“You won’t get skin cancer from one afternoon.”

“I know, but I’m always preaching at my patients to use sunscreen and then I go and forget it myself.” She shook her head. “Oh, well.”

Just then, her cell phone rang and she dug around in her purse to find it. She peered at the screen. “Matthew.”

Shit.
Griff’s gut cramped.

She answered the phone. “Hi! I’m…um just on my way back from the Farmers Market. Yeah.” She listened. “Tonight’s not going to work. An old friend is in town and we’re going to get together.” She closed her eyes and leaned her head back in her seat as she talked. “I’m sorry. No, no. Yeah, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

She ended the call and sat back, eyes still closed. He knew she was having a guilt attack.

“I’m sorry, Ainslie.”

She opened her eyes and filled her lungs. “Don’t apologize. Remember what I said earlier. I only do things because I choose to do them. I’ll deal with the consequences.”

He nodded. His own cell phone was in his pocket and safely turned off.

They carried all the food they’d bought into her kitchen. Ainslie found a vase and filled it with water for the flowers. “They’re beautiful.” She adjusted one bloom. “Thank you.”

He slid his arms around her from behind and hugged her. He pressed his face to her hair, now silky soft and smelling like sunshine from being outside all afternoon. “Thank
you
.”

“For what?” She leaned back against him.

“For letting me stay. For letting me get to know you. Again.”

“Oh.” She was silent. “I could use a glass of wine.”

“Coming right up.”

CHAPTER 8

Despite the guilt that chewed away inside at her, Ainslie hadn’t felt this exuberant or delighted for a long, long time. When she was with Griff, everything was brighter, sharper. The sky had been such an intense, bright blue stretched out above them, the sights and sounds of the Farmers Market crisp and clean. The flowers he’d bought her were so fresh and fragrant, with such bright, sunny faces, it made her ache.

And with one simple comment, he’d made her realize that she was in control. She’d thought Griff was the one manipulating things, coaxing her, influencing her to do things she knew she shouldn’t be doing. The truth was, she was the only one in control of herself. She chose to kiss Griff, to sleep with him last night, to let him stay today, because she wanted to. Sure, he had some mysterious way of making her want things, but she was the one who ultimately made the decision.

It almost made her feel relieved. She’d been inclined to blame him for many things, but perhaps that had been wrong. In fact, if she looked back at their whole relationship, there were probably many things for which she could take responsibility.

It was something she wanted to think about, to study from different angles and see where her thoughts took her. But not right now. Not when Griff was holding her against him, all big and hard and surprisingly admiring. It made her feel startlingly good about herself.

If only she’d had the same self-confidence and attitude when she and Griff had first started dating, things might have been totally different.

But then, her entire life would be different, and she wouldn’t change the way her life had gone for anything because it had made her who she was.

She turned in his arms, rose up on her tiptoes and threw her arms around his neck, kissing him hard on the mouth.

“Whoa,” he said when she lifted her mouth from his. “What was that for?”

She smiled up at him. “I just felt like it.”

“Okay. Fine by me.” He bent his head and their mouths met, shifting to adjust their fit, and their kisses were wet, deep and hot. He licked her mouth, then slid inside to stroke her tongue and the kiss went wilder, making her ache with need.

She pressed her body against his, trying to get closer, but she couldn’t get close enough. Then she felt his hands lifting her by her ass and setting her on the counter, spreading her legs so he could stand between them. She shifted to the edge of the counter so she could bump the bulge behind his fly, pressing right where she needed it and she moaned helplessly.

“God, you’re hot, Ainslie.” He sank his teeth gently into her bottom lip, then licked her there.

She moaned again and wrapped her legs around him, pulling him in tightly.

“Right now,” she whispered, needy and desperate. “Right here.” She tugged the T-shirt he wore up and over his head, snagging his face. “Sorry.”

“S’okay,” he muttered, likewise pulling her tank top off, revealing her turquoise bra. He pushed her skirt up to her waist and slipped a hand between them to feel her.

“You’re wet, honey. So wet. Is that for me?”

“Oh, yeah.” She gave a husky laugh. “I’m wet for you, Griff.”

He groaned and tugged the tiny strip of lace that was her panties aside and slid his fingers into her.

She held onto his shoulders and leaned back, letting him finger her. “Touch me, Griff. Take my bra off. I want you to suck my nipples.”

She heard his sharply indrawn breath at her request and he immediately complied. When her breasts were bare to him, he looked down at them and cupped them. His eyes dark, his face tight with arousal, he touched her nipples, then bent to take one between his lips, just the tip. Sensation shot from her nipple to her womb, almost making her slide off the counter.

“Yes.” Her voice was no more than a hiss. She let go of him and leaned back on her elbows, knocking over the unopened bottle of wine. Griff’s arm shot out and caught it before it rolled to the floor, his head never lifting from her breast.

“Good catch,” she panted, and proceeded to send a bag of tomatoes thudding to the floor. They both ignored that. He moved to the other nipple. “Oh, that feels good! Don’t stop. Ever.”

He used his lips, tongue and teeth until she was in a frenzy of excitement. Pleasure torched her body, singed every nerve ending, sizzled through her veins. “I almost could come just from that.” She moaned.

“Jesus,” he croaked. “Ainslie, you’re killing me.”

“Fuck me. Now.”

“No.”

“Yes!”

He laughed, low and soft. “So demanding! Uh-uh. I want to make you come first.” His hand dipped back into her panties, now soaked, stroking her there while his lips and teeth tugged at her nipples.

“Oh. Okay then.” Her words trailed off as pleasure spiraled inside her, tighter, higher, his fingers sliding right where she needed them, until his fingers drew every sensation from her body to that tight, pinpoint of almost painful pleasure. Everything inside her clenched and drew in until she came in long, delicious waves of ecstasy, oblivious of the hard, cold counter beneath her.

As she shuddered through her climax, Griff took her mouth in a wide-open, devouring kiss, until she was utterly lost.

He eased her down to lay on the counter, legs dangling, kissed the tops of her breasts, then her collar bone, then her throat. He lingered there, inhaling, holding her while she trembled.

“Okay,
now
.” She reached up and framed his face with her hands. The tenderness in his gaze almost brought tears to her eyes. “Fuck me now, Griff.”

His pupils enlarged until his eyes were almost black and his hands went to his jeans, opening them with a quick, masculine flick. He pulled himself out, then with both hands on her hips, he slid her right to the edge of the counter and entered her.

With small gasps and ragged moans, she opened for him, pulled him in with every muscle she had. The counter was hard beneath her head, but she didn’t care, the thrill of him filling her so completely making her lose her mind. He stood over her, hands hard on her hips. She was sure she’d have bruises, but she couldn’t care less. With quick, hard thrusts of his hips, he pushed into her, sending her flying high, and she cried out as she felt him tense up and pulse hot and hard inside her.

“No,” she mumbled, momentarily coming to her senses. “Griff…wait.”

“Ah, shit.” He remembered at almost the same time. “Shit.” But there was no way he could stop, eyes squeezed shut, teeth clenched as his orgasm bore down on him like a double overhead wave, a wall of water crashing down on him, and he poured himself into her.

Chest heaving, he stood like that for a long moment, then slid out of her, still hard. He grabbed some paper towels from the dispenser on the wall behind him, wiped himself and then, with tender care, Ainslie.

She bit her lip and propped herself up on her elbows.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not all your fault. I forgot too. I lost my mind. I’m sorry, too.”

He heaved a sigh. “You don’t have anything to worry about getting anything from me.”

“Or me. And I’m on the pill. I won’t get pregnant.”

He looked at her, face unreadable. “Okay, that’s good, I guess.

“What? It
is
good thing.”

He tugged her skirt down over her thighs, saying nothing.

“Griff. Tell me.”

“You’re on the pill because of Matthew.”

“Yes.” Shit, did he need to remind her of Matthew? Lust had sent the guilt flying out of her mind temporarily, but now it slammed back into her like a punch to her stomach. Not only had she cheated on Matthew, she’d lied to him.

She sat all the way up and watched Griff tuck himself back into his jeans with some difficulty. His mouth was tight, eyes narrow. God, he was jealous!

Okay, so was that good or bad? She’d never known Griff to be jealous. He was supremely confident, almost arrogant. The one time she’d flirted a little with another guy at a party, just to see if she could make him jealous, he’d been oblivious. That had been so disappointing and had only increased her doubts about how Griff felt about her.

On the other hand, they had nothing between them now, other than this bizarre sexual reunion, and he had no right to feel jealous. How could she reassure him? The fact was there
was
another man in her life and there was no denying it. Even though she knew she would have to end things with Matthew now, she didn’t intend to tell Griff that. She wasn’t opening herself up that much to Griff. He’d left her once without a word and could very well do it again.

“Griff…yesterday when we were…um, on the couch…you said to remind you to apologize again. What was that about?”

Griff blinked at her once, twice. Then a smile curved his beautiful mouth. “Ah…I wanted to apologize for being such a lousy lover.”

She choked. “Ho, boy, no need for that.”

“Not now.” His smile held a hint of arrogance, the heat of his big hands warming her waist. “Back then. I just realized yesterday when I went down on you that I don’t think I did that enough. I don’t even know how often you had orgasms, which is really sad.”

She stared at him. “Wow. This is a crazy conversation.”

“No kidding.” His steady gaze held hers. “Anyway, I’m sorry.”

“But I loved sex with you.” She laid her hands on the hot, smooth muscles of his chest. “Loved, loved,
loved
it. So I didn’t have an orgasm every time. It’s not always all about that.”

He shook his head. “I should’ve made sure it was just as good for you as it was for me. I was young and stupid…what can I say? Just a horny kid in a hurry to drop the J-bomb.”

Ainslie laughed.

“Anyway, I’m sorry. And not just for you. I missed out on a whole helluva lot by not doing that, too.”

Her heart went warm and melty, like chocolate in the sun, as she looked at him so sincerely apologizing for the kind of lover he’d been. He had no idea that his lovemaking had filled her dreams and fantasies for years after he’d left.

“I appreciate that. Believe me. And you’ve certainly made up for it. But I loved you so much, Griff, I just wanted to be with you. Any way, any how. You pretty much…ruined me for any other guy.”

He gave her a “yeah-right” look.

“It’s true. I’ve…dated other guys since you left, slept with other guys.” His eyes narrowed and she rushed on, “I’m sorry, but you know that.” She paused. “But nobody has ever turned me on like you.” She slipped her fingers into the front pockets of his still-unbuttoned jeans, pulled his pelvis forward to bump against hers. “For a while—a long while-after you left, I felt so numb and dead, I didn’t think I’d ever have sex again. It just didn’t happen for me, with anybody. I even wondered if I was a lesbian.”

His brows shot up at that. “Uh…Ains, honey…pretty sure you’re not a lesbian.”

She laughed. “I know that now. I had to find out the hard way, though.”

“Please tell me that doesn’t mean what I think.” He stared at her.

She lifted a shoulder, wondering if she should be embarrassed. “It was just once.”

“Holy shit.”

She almost laughed at the comical expression on his face, dismay and astonishment mixed with interested arousal. “You’re joking.”

“Um…no. But it didn’t work out, so I went back to guys.”

“Jesus.” His eyes darkened. “Okay, let’s hear it. Every detail.”

“God, you’re just like every other guy.” She slid her hands up to his shoulders, all thick muscle and hard bone under warm, sleek skin. “Two girls, your ultimate fantasy, right?”

“Maybe.” A smile flirted with his lips. “Come on. Spill it. Who was it? Was she hot?”

She fought her own smile. “It was nothing. A girl I knew from school kind of made it known she found me attractive. She was nice, I liked her, but I’d always just laughed it off. Then I went out with this guy and he was all over me and I was just so…not turned on, I decided maybe that was the answer. So I went out with her.”

“Did you have sex with her?”

She bit her bottom lip. “Um…yeah.”

“Oh. My. God.” His eyes closed.

“It was nice.”

“Christ.” He moaned again.

“But I wasn’t into…anything more than that, if you know what I mean. She went down on me, I came, but it didn’t feel…I don’t know…right.” She shrugged.

He put a hand to his fly, and she could see she’d gotten him hard all over again.

“So there.” She kissed his jaw and loved the roughness of his stubble, so ran her tongue over it. He shivered. “That’s why there’s no need to apologize.”

“I cannot believe this.” He looked like he was in pain.

“Do you need to be put out of your misery?” She eyed his hard-on appreciatively. She reached for him and unzipped the zipper he’d just done up moments ago. His hard length sprang out, so flushed and beautiful.

She gave him a little push back and jumped lightly down from the counter, going to her knees in front of him. He groaned again, thrusting his hands into her hair, pushing it back from her face and holding her head. She admired him for a moment, stroking, then she licked the tip, where a drop of pre-cum oozed and tantalized.