Worth the Risk (8 page)

Dear God, watching her eat that ice cream had nearly killed him. Not kissing her hadn’t been an option. Stephen took her hand as they moved through the parking lot, ending their night. He couldn’t imagine anything sweeter than Hannah’s mouth, but her small fingers curled into his shirt, the tiny sound of surprise when his mouth covered hers…pretty damn close.

She’d kissed him like she’d never been kissed before, uncertain and innocent, but so hot he could have gone on all night. Still could, he thought, as they reached her car.

Her 4Runner was parked close to the entrance and under a light. Good for her. He wanted her thinking, safe and smart. Though he didn’t like the apprehension he felt growing in her the farther they got from the crowd.

Hannah pulled the keys from a small bag, glanced around the half-empty lot, then up at him. “Thanks for coming. And for the movie, and dinner, and…”

“And what?”

Her gaze settled on his mouth and she bit her lip. “And the ice cream.”

“Ice cream?” He smiled and circled her waist with his hands. “And I thought you were going to thank me for the kiss.”

Embarrassment stained her cheeks as he’d known it would.

He slipped his fingers into her hair and kissed her again, slowly at first, giving her time to get used to him. He could teach her so much about the ways of kissing, of pleasure. He moved one hand down to her lower back and pulled her closer. Her lips parted and he deepened the kiss, loving the feel of her slender arms wound around his neck. With the weight of her head in his hand, her body pressed against his, every other kiss with every other woman evaporated.

He raised his head and wrapped her in his arms because it was cool out and because he didn’t want to let her go just yet. She gazed up at him, her chin resting against his chest. Her long hair blew around them both and he let the strands brush across his face before smoothing it back from her eyes. God help him, she was breathtaking, and looking down into her upturned face pulled at something deep inside him.

“This is the third time I’ve said goodbye to you at a car. When am I going to graduate to the front door? Hmm?” She tensed against him. “Are you always this nervous or is it just me?” He’d asked it lightly, partly a joke, but…he’d sensed something too. A heightened sense of awareness. Just her personality?

Then he thought of all the reasons she
should
be afraid of him. That dark streak he’d discovered years ago. During the trial, and even worse after.

She lowered her arms. “I don’t know.”

“Is it your watchdog brothers? What do they think? I’m going to kidnap you, tie you up in my basement?”

He heard and felt the breath she sucked in before she spun away from him. “Shit. Hannah, I’m sorry. That was a stupid thing to say.” Damn it. After all the times she’d been tentative, hesitant.

He laid a hand on her shoulder and she hunched away from him as much as the space would allow.

She fumbled with her key fob, dropped it, bent to grab it, and dropped it again before straightening. “I need to go.”

“Hey.” He closed his fingers around her wrist and felt her entire body go stiff.
Shit.
He needed to touch her, but he dropped his hand.

Her car gave a beep and the locks opened.

“Hannah, please. Don’t go yet. I’m sorry.”

She still faced her car, but didn’t open the door.

“Look at me.” He could have counted his heartbeats waiting for her to turn, afraid he’d lost all the ground of trust he’d gained in the last eight hours.

Finally, she turned and gave him a half-smile. “It’s okay. I just need to go.”

“I’m sorry,” he repeated.

He silently thanked God when her face softened. Not wanting to waste an answered prayer, he kissed her cheek. Then with nothing more, he opened her door. “Lock up,” he told her through the glass. He heard the click, the start of the engine, then he watched until her taillights disappeared into the night.

Damn, he was in trouble. Because if there was something in between everything and nothing, he was going to have it with Hannah.

Three days later, Hannah washed and dried her hands in her bathroom, catching herself in the mirror on the way out. She looked different. Happy. Not that she was normally
un
happy, but there was a new spark there that even she could see. And that spark was Stephen. She still felt the heat of his firm lips moving against hers, his muscled shoulders under her hands.

She replayed the kiss for the millionth time. His mouth had been soft, his lips persuasive. He wouldn’t know it was her first, would likely be appalled if he did. If he knew what it meant to her that she’d trusted him enough to get that close. She touched her lips and smiled into the mirror. Yeah, she liked him. A lot.

She walked into the main room, noting the way Zach was slumped comfortably on her couch, in contrast to Luke’s coiled energy in a nearby chair. Both content to let Nick cook.

“Hey, Nicky.” Zach waggled an empty beer can over his head. “Bring me another one while you’re up, would you?”

Nick sent a deadly look over his shoulder from where he stood at the stove. “I’m not
up,
ass wipe. I’m cooking your dinner.”

Hannah took the can as she passed. “I thought firemen were supposed to know how to cook.”

Zach settled deeper and propped his feet on the coffee table. “Who says I don’t? But why would I when Nick’s so good at it?”

Nick cursed under his breath. “You better hope you find a woman who’s into nurturing.”

“Nurturing?” Luke sipped his beer. “He needs to be
nursed.
Look at him. He wouldn’t even dress himself if it wasn’t required by law.”

“Who says I do dress myself, Skywalker? Had some very beautiful help this morning.”

“Eww.” Hannah scrunched her nose, returning with the beer. “TMI, Zach.”

“Who was it this time?” Luke asked. “Candy? Brandy? Mandy? You’re like a fucking Dr. Seuss.”

Zach grinned, twisting off the bottle top. “You forgot Bambi.”

“That doesn’t rhyme, idiot.”

Zach countered with a pillow flung hard at Luke’s face, almost knocking over a lamp.

“Boys. I’m going to be pissed if you break something.” Her warning didn’t stop Luke from chucking it right back. Not that she wasn’t used to it. Her brothers were here more often than not.

They said it was cleaner. True, but it was more because they liked to check on things. Doors, windows, locks. And before they left tonight, one, or all of them, would double-check that her handgun was loaded and within easy reach. Learning to shoot, getting a license to carry so she could take it in her car, had been big-brother nonnegotiable.

They’d remind her to make sure her phone was charged and on. Then they’d stand outside, refusing to leave the porch until they heard the click of deadbolts. A revolving show of male protectiveness all done in love to make her feel safer. Though really, it just reminded her of all the reasons she needed to be scared. Of what could happen when she wasn’t as careful as she should be. What
had
happened.

When the last dish was dried and put away, Luke and Zach excused themselves. Hannah sat on the front porch swing with Nick and watched the two sets of taillights get swallowed up by the trees. He was always the last to leave, but soon he’d go too.

She’d moved out of his house to be on her own, not necessarily to
be
alone. Being without Max was harder than she’d thought. Coming into the house after dark to utter silence was lonelier than she’d imagined. But this was her life. She refused to be bothered by it. Maybe she’d get another dog. A rescue dog. But not yet.

Crickets chirped and the wind made a barely-there sound. It’d be a loud rush when the trees were full of leaves. The supporting chains groaned in protest, then gave in to the steady back-and-forth rhythm as Nick rocked them with his foot. This was the same swing that had been on their parents’ porch. The same one her mother had rocked her on at night. A story she’d begged her brother to retell over the years.

Nick laid his arm on the back of the swing. “So, how was your weekend? You were hard to catch up with.”

“It was good.”

“What’s her name?”

“Whose?”

“The friend you were shopping with.”

The swing squeaked back and forth in the quiet while he waited.

“Must be a good friend to spend all day. Same friend you went to dinner with last week?”

More waiting, until the breath she’d been holding huffed out. “Okay. Fine. You got me. Damn, they must really love you in interrogation.”

Nick didn’t laugh. “Who were you with? Though I’ve got a pretty good idea since you didn’t tell me.”

“He apologized.”

“I know. I was there.”

“Then he brought his niece out to ride. I’d offered and—”

“He used his
niece?
” Nick made a disgusted sound. “Nice.”

“He didn’t
use
her. His sister-in-law called him and asked for a ride.”

“And you’re defending him. What time did you get home?”

“Do I have a curfew?”

“Hannah—”

“Sorry. I’m sorry.” Nick worried when she didn’t call, and in his line of work he didn’t need his thoughts and attention divided. “We walked around, went to dinner after a movie, then I came home. Alone. I met him there, or he met me. I didn’t even think he’d show.”

“Of course he’d show. He’d have to be a complete idiot to—” He sighed long and hard. “Never mind. Just…God, you’re twenty-six, but this is hard. I don’t trust him. I don’t
know
him.”

“Well, I could always date someone you do know. Another agent? Someone at Zach’s firehouse?”

“Over my dead body.”

She smiled at his emphatic answer. “Don’t worry. Anyone you guys know would rather shoot themselves in the ass than make a move on me.” She pulled her feet up under her. “I know it’s hard. It’s hard for me too, but…I need to try, you know?” Nick didn’t answer, but she knew he got it, even if he didn’t like it. “You know, I don’t remember a time when you were just a big brother. What did you think when Mom told you she was pregnant?”

“Shit. I pretty much tried
not
to think about it. We all did. We were teenage boys and it was…shocking. The thought of Mom and Dad…I couldn’t look her in the eye for a week.”

She heard the smile in his voice and she was glad for it. He didn’t smile enough. They’d had great parents. Her brothers had loved them and missed them in a way she couldn’t.

Nick chuckled under his breath.

“What?”

“Just thinking how she used to make us change your diaper. Said it would make us better fathers. Dad said it would teach us to keep it in our pants. Damn, we had some good fights over who got stuck watching you.”

“Then you all got stuck.”

The steady motion of the swing hitched. “I didn’t mean it like that, Han. And I didn’t mind so much then. None of us did.”

“I know.” And she did. He’d never made her feel like a burden.

He gave her shoulder a squeeze. “Plus, you were housebroken by then.”

“Remember how you all used to monster-proof my room? You were the dragon slayer.”

“Yep. Dallas was the cootie catcher. Luke was the laser.”

“And what was Zach?”

“The zapper.”

“Yeah. That’s right.” She rested her head against his shoulder. Her big, strong brothers, who she’d always known would protect her.

She hadn’t known back then that people were the worst monsters.

Hannah whistled and waited for Winnie to lope over to the pasture fence as the roar of Lexie’s motorcycle dwindled into the distance. Her last student had left hours ago, all chores were done. Winnie chuffed and snorted. Hannah dug in her pocket for a sugar cube and held out two closed fists beneath Winnie’s muzzle, playing their guess-which-hand game.

It had only been a few days since she’d seen Stephen, but still…it bothered her that she hadn’t talked to him. Of course he didn’t have her number, her own choice. But she couldn’t help wondering…
would
he have called her if he did have it? Did men call women after a date? If they were dating? How many dates meant you were dating?

He wasn’t a boy looking for a girlfriend. He was a man, looking for…she had no idea. “What do you think, Winnie? You’re a girl. What would a man like that be looking for?” Physically, she wasn’t even sure what she had to offer. She had no idea when she’d be ready. If she’d
ever
be ready. She’d just barely crossed the hurdle of dating, kissing. But she wanted to kiss him again.

Because she was ready or because it was Stephen?

She gave Winnie a few more minutes of love before returning to the barn office. With the calendar spread before her, she marked her new student’s first appointment for next Tuesday and her gaze landed on the day before it.
D-Day.
She’d received another official letter from the city, this one giving her a date and time to state her case.

She’d researched governments taking private land and found a lot on eminent domain. The way she understood it, they would have to prove that taking her land was necessary for the good of the state or community. She’d been instructed to bring any and all legal documents, but her name wasn’t actually on the deed. She figured they knew that. Even so, she’d gone through everything left in the house, pulled out and looked at every scrap of paper. There was nothing about a will. No mention of any lawyer. But she still had a case. She still had Mr. Bradley’s letter.

Absently, she circled the date five days out, around and around, making the black line of ink thicker. She still hadn’t told Lexie, and she sure as hell hadn’t told her brothers. There was a certain empowerment in handling it herself, mixed in with the doubt and fear. What she did here was important. She’d make them see that. More important than any road or whatever they wanted the property for.

Of course, if the worst happened she’d have to tell everyone because she’d be moving.

Even Stephen?
Would she need to tell him?

The sound of a motorcycle had her smiling. Lexie always forgot something. Taking one last glance at the calendar, she stood and went to meet Lexie. “What’d you forget?” She stepped out of the office with a grin, and walked right into the wall that was Stephen’s chest.