Woman on Top (31 page)

Authors: Deborah Schwartz

BOOK: Woman on Top

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“If you do it with someone, it won’t be quite so freezing,” Alex said.

I thought of climbing with Alex, sharing a tent. He was flirting with an idea that I might consider…one day. I had a lot to learn about this man but so far a red flag appeared nowhere in sight.

“Tell me the story of Kate,” Alex said.

“I’ve had a very different ride. You really want to hear?”

“I want to get to know you. And I want you to know me.”

“I’d love to hear about you. The ride people are on intrigues me since mine has been so unpredictable. I married young, thought my road ahead would be a straight one -love, marriage, children. Instead, it turned out to also include death, dating and finding myself. What a mercurial, but lately exciting, journey it’s been so far,” I said.

“I like your attitude. And as they say, ‘your attitude determines your altitude.”

That feeling of a gentle man had enveloped me when I had met Jake. But the fall I had taken with Len after Jake’s death had been as harrowing as falling off a mountain.

It was way too soon to burden Alex with the story of Len, but Jake, Jake might be a good place to start.

“I have two stories. Tonight, I’ll share one,” I said.

Alex sat waiting for me while I felt the floodgates begin to open. I had never shared my journey with Jake on dates with other men. But Alex appeared to be that man who would listen with compassion and understanding. Our conversation did not resemble at all the ones I’d had with Len, with other dates, when we first met.

I felt drawn to Alex. The intimacy already between us was reflected in his smile glistening in the candlelight. My hand lay resting on the table and he reached across and held it. I looked at his soft, kind eyes and felt that maybe I could let down my guard at last. Parts of me, walled off after Len, felt free. Remembering that feeling, that freedom I had felt on the summit, meant letting go now of the past.

By telling him about my story with Jake, I could let Alex in. It was time to let him in.

Alex held my hand tightly and I began. We began.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

To my editor Susan Leon who believed in me and my manuscript. Her comments were priceless.

And to my wonderful children who set a high bar for this book and pointed me in the right direction.

Special thanks to Charlie Klippel, Gail Agrawal and Ron Aubert.

Thanks to Cathy Walsh, Rachel Sawyer, Laurie Dittrich, Russell Teagarden and Steve Katz for the insights and unwavering support.

Table of Contents

FALL 1994