Wolf Creek Father (Wolf Creek, Arkansas Book 3) (16 page)

Chapter Eleven

“I
beg your pardon.”

Allison’s head whirled in shock and disbelief. Was Colt Garrett, one of the most eligible men in town, saying that he wanted to marry
her?
Needing to make certain she’d heard him right, she asked, “You want to...try it with me? Marriage?”

“Yes. I know this is coming out of the blue and that we haven’t known each other very long. Not in any way that matters. For right now, let’s just say that I’d like to court you.”

Allison twined her fingers together. Her stomach churned in panic and distress, though she couldn’t imagine why. Wasn’t this every young woman’s dream? Her dream? Images of making a life with Colt and the children swirled through her mind with dizzying speed. The children! Sudden understanding slammed into her.

Tears shimmered in her eyes as she looked up at him. “Why did you have to go and ruin everything?” she cried in a soft voice.

Colt looked as if she’d slapped him, yet his mouth curved in a bitter parody of a smile. “Does that mean no?” he said with a miserable attempt at levity.

Allison squared her shoulders and said in a prim tone, “It means that while I’m very flattered by your proposal, as any woman in Wolf Creek would be, it isn’t necessary to offer courtship or marriage to assure that I’ll continue to help you with the children. I’ve grown to care for them very much. I would never abandon them—or you—that way.”

“Is that what you think this is about?” he said in a low, hard voice. “Cilla and Brady?”

“Isn’t it?”

Colt planted his hands on his hips and stared at the ground. When he lifted his head to look at her, all of his uncertainty and confusion was mirrored in his eyes. He reached out and took her cold hands in his.

“I’d be lying if I said that their feelings and well-being weren’t a part of my decision. Of course they are. I owe it to them to bring a woman into our home that will care for them in all the ways their real mother would. You’ve already proved that you’re that woman. In fact, they’ve already given us their blessing. What you’ve managed to do for them in such a short time is nothing short of a miracle, and I’ll always be grateful to you, but it’s far more than that, Allie.

“You present a portrait of upstanding refinement to the world, which you definitely are,” he hastened to clarify, “but I’ve seen glimpses of a side of you I feel few people have seen, maybe even a side you feel you have to keep hidden beneath that straitlaced facade.”

Allison listened, a bit taken aback that she’d revealed so much of herself to him in such a short time, and more surprised that he’d been able to look beyond the image she presented and recognize the person she was and, more important, the person she longed to be.

“I have great admiration for you,” he continued. “I like that you’re levelheaded and unwavering when you set your mind to something.” He smiled, and Allison’s heart skipped a beat. “I like that you take off your shoes to play croquet. And I like your kisses a lot.”

She pressed her lips together, and hot color stained her cheeks. “Those are certainly good things, but I want more from marriage, Colt,” she said, her voice husky and her heart in her eyes. “I don’t want liking and admiration. I want love and...and passion,” she said, daring to toss out a word few women would admit to want...or feel, much less express to a man.

“I can give you that.”

Her brief mocking laugh wasn’t far from a sob. “Oh, so you’ve fallen in love with me in a couple of weeks, is that it?”

“It’s incredible, maybe, but yes.” He let go of her hands and stuck his thumbs in his belt loops in an achingly familiar gesture. “I’m not sure when or how it happened, but it has.”

Allison had no ready comeback for that. She wanted to believe him, wanted to embrace everything he was offering, but her fearful heart whispered that there was no way a man like Colt could have fallen for someone like her. It insisted that when he tired of the novelty of her naïveté—which she told herself must have been the cause of his proclaimed infatuation—he would leave her for someone prettier and not so dull.

Just as Jesse had.

“You feel something for me, too, Allie,” Colt said, taking a step closer. “I know you do. You feel that spark when I kiss you.”

“Yes,” she admitted, rubbing at the sudden ache in her temples. It was senseless to deny it. “So you’re asking me to believe that in a very short time, you’ve come to love me and you’re convinced that I’m everything you want in a wife?” she asked.

“Yes.”

His answer was quick, his conviction unmistakable. She should have shouted with joy. Wished she could have. She tried to swallow, and it felt as if her throat were closing. “Well, as saddened as I am to say it, you aren’t everything I’m looking for.”

Colt actually reeled back a step. All the color drained from his face, and the earnest entreaty in his eyes changed to bitter disappointment. Then, in typical male fashion, he hid his pain behind a cold implacable mask.

The ache in Allison’s heart grew to unbearable proportions. She actually pressed a hand to her chest to try to contain the hurt.

“Forgive me for troubling you,” he said. Without another word, he turned to walk away.

She took a tentative step toward him, reached out and caught his sleeve.

“Colt, wait!”

“For what, Allison?” he retorted, tossing her an angry look over his shoulder. “For you to stomp on my heart with those pretty little shoes of yours?”

“I’d like to ask you a question.”

His wide shoulders lifted in a shrug that granted compliance while giving the impression that he couldn’t care less. “Ask away.”

“If I were to agree to become your wife, would you make your peace with God and try to live for Him?” She held her breath as he stared down at her. The muscle in his cheek knotted; the hands at his sides fisted.

“Conditions, Allison? Or is it an ultimatum?”

He was the same furious stranger she’d confronted in his office that fateful day she’d told him about his children’s abominable behavior.

She hadn’t thought of it in that way, but she supposed he was right. “Marriage is a goal of most women, Colt. I want to get married someday, and I believe I will. But my ultimate goal is Heaven, so yes, I guess you can say I have conditions.”

She held her breath, waiting for his answer. He gave a single harsh nod. “Fine. Yes. If going to church with you and the kids will make you all happy, I’ll go.”

She saw how much it cost him to agree. “I don’t want you to go to church.”

“But you just said—”

“No,” she interrupted. “I said I wanted you to make your peace with God and be our example.”

“What’s the difference?” he asked.

“If you have to ask, then you don’t understand at all. My answer is no, Colt. I won’t marry you, and I don’t want you to call on me. The children are still welcome anytime.”

She was trembling like a leaf as she spoke the words that would send him away forever. Instead of responding, he turned and walked away. Allison watched him go, her indrawn breath whooshing from her in a surge of regret and soul-deep pain. The mockingbird on the limb high above her sang a cheerful song, scoffing at her misery.

* * *

Brady and Cilla asked Allison to join them in the cakewalk. She made the effort for their sakes, but it was plain that both children knew something was up. Though she scanned the boisterous happy crowd at regular intervals, Colt seemed to have disappeared.

After more than an hour of suffering, Allison declared she had a headache and told Ellie that she was going home. She must have looked terrible because Win, who was standing nearby, surprised her by offering to drive her in his rented buggy. Even more surprising, he asked Ellie to accompany them, and she accepted. He looked pleased, but Allison knew Ellie only agreed out of sisterly concern.

“What on earth is wrong with you?” Ellie asked, as soon as they were seated and Win pulled out onto the road. “This should be a wonderful evening for you. You look astonishing. You’re the topic of several conversations.”

Ellie was right. This should have been a remarkable time, for many reasons. Thanks to Blythe and Libby Granville, Allison looked her best and she knew it—freckles, glasses and all. Compliments had flown all evening. She had received a proposal of marriage from a man she loved....

The sob she’d been fighting to keep back worked its way up from the depths of her heart, and she buried her face in her hands to try to hide the ugliness of the grief that welled up inside her and spilled down her cheeks.

She didn’t notice the worried glance Ellie and Win exchanged, but she did feel her sister’s arm go around her and pull her close. Without a word, she pressed a handkerchief into Allison’s hand. It smelled of some spicy scent that hinted of faraway exotic places. Win’s handkerchief. The part of Allison’s brain that wasn’t consumed by her misery was aware that Win was no doubt regretting that he’d offered his services.

“What’s wrong?” Ellie asked.

“Colt said he wants to marry me.”

Ellie’s body stilled. For a moment she didn’t even breathe. “So why are you crying?”

“I told him no.”

“Why would you do something like that?” Ellie chided. “I know you care for him and his children. I can see it on your face every time you talk about them.”

“I do love him, Ellie, but I don’t believe for a moment that he really loves me.”

“Why would he lie about something like that?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Allison said in a jaunty tone that reeked of sarcasm. “Because he wants a wife, and he needs someone who can manage his kids. That would be me. In fact, he said they’d already given their blessing.”

“And they say miracles don’t happen anymore,” Ellie teased. “Everyone’s noticed the changes in Brady and Cilla. You’ve been good for the whole family. Did Colt say how he feels about you?”

“He claims he’s fallen in love with me.”

“Why is that so hard for you to believe?” Ellie asked in exasperation.

“Jesse.”

“Well, that’s just plain silly,” Ellie scoffed. “I thought you’d gotten beyond judging all men by the way Jesse Castle treated you. He was young and easily taken in. Colt is a grown man with grown-up feelings, not some untried boy easily swayed by flirty girls with no more sense than God gave a goose. He’s not looking for a girl. He’s looking for a woman, and I daresay he knows what he wants.”

“But he’s s-so good-looking,” she stuttered. “What can he possibly see in me?” She mopped at her tearstained face with Win’s monogrammed handkerchief.

“Maybe a smart, caring, charming woman who is as cute as a bug.”

The statement came from Win, who both women had forgotten was listening to every word they said. He met their stunned looks with a slight shrug. “Sorry. I know no one asked my opinion, but there it is.”

“Cute as a bug?” Ellie said.

“Mmm,” Win said. “There’s something about Allison that makes you want to just pick her up and cuddle her close, keep her safe.”

Wouldn’t that be nice? Allison thought.

He gave his attention back to the road, but a cocky grin lifted the corners of his mouth. “I might be tempted to give the sheriff a run for his money if my feelings were not otherwise engaged.”

“You don’t have to say things like that to make me feel better,” Allison said.

“Oh, I’m plenty serious, Miss Allison Grainger,” he said, his devilish grin growing wider. “I don’t say things as a balm for hurt feelings or jest about important matters. Life’s too short. It’s best to just say what you mean.”

“Even if he did love me, I wouldn’t marry him.”

“And why not?” Ellie demanded.

Certain that Win was not the kind of person to spread what he heard all over town, Allison recounted her conversation with Colt about the importance of God to her ideal of marriage and how he’d chosen to walk away.

Win pulled to a stop in front of Allison’s little house before Ellie could comment. He handed Ellie the reins, climbed down, rounded the buggy and lifted Allison down after she’d hugged her sister. Then he escorted her to the door, ever the perfect gentleman.

Smiling down into her eyes, he said, “If it’s any consolation, I think any man who walks away from you has taken leave of his senses.”

“Thank you, Win,” Allison said with a watery smile.

He gave her hand a brotherly pat and strode to the edge of the porch before turning. “I also believe he will come around sooner or later. If not, I may take it upon myself to knock some into him. I was boxing champ at Yale, you know.”

* * *

“You’ve ruined everything!”

“So I’ve been told,” Colt said, resigned to his children’s scorn. He
had
ruined everything, it seemed.

They’d just returned from the ice-cream social, and Cilla had demanded to know what Colt had done to make Miss Grainger so miserable. He was miserable, and try though he might, there’d been no hiding it. After several people told him he must be coming down with something, he’d gathered the kids and left. Figuring he owed his offspring some sort of explanation, especially since he had no idea what their future with Allie might be, given that he’d “ruined everything,” he’d offered them a condensed version of his conversation with her, including a little of their talk about his relationship with God.

By the time they reached the house, the anger he’d whipped up to hide his wounded pride had died a pitiful death. The ache he carried inside was as hurtful as what he’d felt when he lost Patrice. Wasn’t that interesting?

Now, thinking back to what Allison had said, a sharp pain shot through his heart. It had been naive and unrealistic of him to not at least consider the possibility that she would have her own list of what she wanted in a husband.

“She told me the same thing,” Cilla said, breaking into his thoughts. “She said that handsomeness and kindness were nice, but that she could never marry a man who didn’t love God. We told you—that’s why we wanted you to go to church with us.”

“She said she doesn’t want me to just go to church.”

“Well, of course not!” Cilla’s acerbic tone suggested that she had reservations about her father’s intelligence.