Without Chase (17 page)

Chapter Thirty-Two

Jamie

A flurry of work kept Jamie away from L.A. and before she knew it, nearly two months had passed since that day on the beach. There was fashion week in New York, London and Paris, then back to New York for editorial work. She was careful to accept jobs that kept her on the East Coast, avoiding beach shoots in exotic locales like Bali or Bora Bora that would have required her to fly out of L.A.

Adam didn’t seem to mind. He began developing a project that was going to be shot in Croatia, so New York was closer for him. After one of the European shows, Jamie flew out to spend a few days with him on location.

Everything seemed perfect. They never fought, had fun with each other and the fact that they both seemed committed to spending time with each other made for great status updates when her friends or family would ask how they were doing. Jamie tried not to think about the fact that she felt as if they were just going through the motions. She thought it was her---but no one was forcing her to stay in the relationship, so she knew this was what she wanted. Then she realized with a shock that it was Adam who was quietly, subtly pulling away from her.

The process had been so gradual that she didn’t even notice the signs. Staying in different time zones caused their daily conversations to get stretched to every other day. They began talking about superficial things, and then everything came to a head when Adam yawned loudly into the phone during one of their conversations.

“That is incredibly rude,” she snapped at him. “If you want to get off the phone, just say so.”

Instead of apologizing, Adam just said, “yeah, I guess I’m too tired to talk now. I’ll call you tomorrow,” and quickly hung up.

Jamie refused to take his calls the next day. If they were going to break up, it wasn’t going to be over the phone. He was supposed to meet her in New York later that week, and she texted him that they could have a conversation then.

Well at least I saw this breakup coming, she told herself as she walked into one of their favorite places to eat---an authentic deli that served breakfast, lunch and dinner. Adam was already there, and looked relieved to see her.

“Didn’t you think I was going to show up?” she asked him.

Adam shook his head. “I honestly had no idea.”

They ordered and sat in silence. There was no point in small talk, but neither of them wanted to get right into it. Finally, Jamie asked him: “what’s going on?”

Adam looked pained. “I don’t know. But I think I just---”

“Please don’t insult me by saying you need some space, or some other bullshit like that.”

Adam raised an eyebrow in surprise. “I wish I’d known earlier that you cared enough to get mad like this.”

“Earlier? Sounds like you’ve made your mind up about something.” Despite what Adam thought, she actually wasn’t mad. Just exhausted that another relationship was ending.

Adam took a deep breath. “Yeah, well I’ve been feeling like you’re not really all in with me. I think we both know that.”

Jamie waved her hand dismissively. “If you want to blame me, that’s fine. I’m really just curious about why. Is there someone else? Tell me the truth.” She looked carefully at him and saw him smile in disbelief.

“No, Jamie. Don’t think that. There’s no one else…”

Jamie felt a weight lift off her shoulder. After seeing how quickly Chase replaced her with other women, and hearing another woman in Sean’s bed while she talked to him, it was something she had grown to expect. Tears filled her eyes, and she understood why she had been so angry.

Adam wiped her tears away and took her hand. “No.” he said firmly. “I wouldn’t betray you like that.” She said nothing and waited for him to continue. “I’m… I think… this isn’t the life I want.”

He squeezed her and even harder and continued. “You’re the only thing that’s made everything bearable for me, but I don’t think that’s fair to either of us.”

“Adam, I don’t understand…”

“I love you Jamie, and I know you love me too. But it’s like we’ve been given the perfect person, in a life neither of us really want.” He rushed on. “You don’t want to be my wife---and I don’t want you to be my wife.” They both laughed. “I don’t want you to wind up some kind of trophy for me, and for my family. You’d be great, and I’d be so proud, and maybe that’s what you think you want, but it isn’t. You wouldn’t have left your family and gone out on your own if it was.”

Once again, Jamie was struck by how well he knew her. “But what about you---” she asked gently.

A light flashed across his face. “I haven’t said anything to my family yet, but I’ve really been thinking about it, and I think I’m going to quit my job.” As he said the words, his smile grew even bigger and Jamie had to laugh at how happy he seemed.

“OK,” she leaned over and kissed his cheek. “Then what?”

“Well…” the smile disappeared. “I think I’d like to be a missionary overseas.” This time it was his turn to look at her carefully.

Jamie nodded. Slowly at first, then more enthusiastically as everything made sense. “Yes. Yes! That is exactly what’s in your heart, isn’t it?”

“Yes. It is in my heart.”

Anyone watching the two of them could never have guessed that they were two people who had just ended their relationship. Instead they would have seen two people so close they were finishing each other’s sentences, and so happy that they both glowed.

Six Months Later

Liam Betancourt’s sixth birthday party was an event that his parents, and especially his mother, had spent months planning for.

Chase showed up early, and helped by keeping the birthday boy occupied while the party preparations were underway. After they played video games, Chase picked him up and Liam rested his head contentedly on his shoulders.

“You’re going to take a nap now, ok, buddy?”

“Um-hmm.”

Chase began walking him around the house until the little boy grew still and heavy, and then he put him in his bed.

Shelby looked up from decorating cupcakes and smiled at him as he entered the kitchen. “Is he out?” she asked. Chase nodded. “Oh yeah. He’s out for the count.”

“Good. He can take a nap for an hour, and wake up refreshed for his party.” She held out a cupcake for him. “He’s gotten so big that it’s hard for me to carry him these days. Especially with another one on the way.” She touched her growing belly protectively and looked up as if remembering something. “You know, this is kind of a milestone day for us, too. For me, you and Rodrigo.”

Chase took a bite of the cupcake. “Really.” He made a face. “Damn, Shelby, I’m going to get a sugar high from this.” Shelby rolled her eyes as he took another bite, then asked, “How?”

“Well, this is kind of our anniversary, you know. We met you at Liam’s birthday party two years ago.”

Chase considered this. “Yeah. Hard to believe it’s been two years, though.”

“So, umm…” Shelby looked uncharacteristically hesitant. “I was wondering if I could ask a huge favor from you.”

“Being your on-call manny isn’t enough?” he teased.

Shelby smiled mysteriously. “I invited a friend of mine… and I made a mistake with the time, so she’s actually coming early. Would you mind, maybe going for a walk with her until everyone else gets here? She’ll probably feel awkward just sitting in the house by herself.”

“Jesus, Shelby, if you’re going to set me up you can at least be more subtle about it.” Chase didn’t look too pleased. One of the unspoken agreements between them was that his nighttime activities were his own and as much as he loved the Betancourt’s, he wanted to maintain a semblance of privacy.

The doorbell rang and Chase got up to answer. He turned to Shelby. “What’s your friend’s name, anyway?”

Shelby smiled, her eyes twinkling. “Her name is Jamie.”