Within Reach (46 page)

“On his own?”

Danica sighed. “With a little help. I lost my temper. I reminded him in no uncertain terms exactly what I was doing in Washington. My bluntness helped. He couldn’t argue with anything I said, and my saying it got it out in the open. I also think that he’s finally accepted defeat where I’m concerned.”

“It’s about time.”

“He even asked me if everything was all right with the baby.”

Michael tightened his grip on the phone. “Is it? How are you feeling today?”

“Not bad. The nausea comes and goes. It’s always worse on an empty stomach, so I try to eat a little something as often as I can. I slept late this morning, too. That helped.”

“Good. How did Blake act today?”

“He’s been surprisingly cordial. He came in to me in the middle of the morning to ask if there was anything I needed.”

“What did you say to that?”

“I wanted to say that I needed
you
, but I restrained myself. No sense rubbing salt on the wound. Blake knows he’s lost.”

“Just make sure he remembers it,” Michael growled.

A similar theme emerged in their conversation several days later. “It’s like there’s a truce in effect, Michael. I think it’s much better for both of us. We talk more than we did before, and he’s been solicitous when I’ve been sick.”

“Not
too
solicitous, I hope.”

She chuckled. “It could never be that, not with Blake. A leopard doesn’t change its spots. They may fade in one season or another, but—”

“Is that true?”

“I don’t know, but it sounds good for the purposes of my analogy, don’t you think?”

“You’re impossible,” he said with affection.

“Well, I just don’t want you to worry, but you do, don’t you?”

“That Blake’s going to try to win you back? Of course I do. I’m only human, and I feel particularly so, sitting up here all alone.”

“You’re not alone. You have Rusty.”

“Umm, the Labrador philosopher. Let me tell you, he may be great for helping me run my aggression out on the beach, but as a confidant, he leaves something to be desired.”

Danica laughed, then paused. “You shouldn’t worry, at least not about that, Michael. There’s no way Blake could possibly win me back. I’m yours. The time I spend here is obligatory. Blake doesn’t do anything in the least suggestive. He certainly doesn’t touch me. I think that his verbal show of concern is as close as he can come to an apology for all he’s put me through.”

“There’s more to come. That’s what really worries me. Did his lawyers get the December date they wanted?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Does Blake talk about it?”

“He’s starting to, but I sometimes think that he’s oblivious to my presence when he does. It’s almost as if he’s talking to himself, as if what’s going on in his mind simply needs airing. He could as well be in an empty room, though. He doesn’t expect any response from me. Maybe he’s too embarrassed to look me in the eye.”

“Has he told anyone of your pregnancy?”

“His lawyers. They were pleased.”

“Do they know the truth?”

“No. Blake and I agreed on that. For all practical purposes, at least until the trial’s over, this baby is his.”

“I don’t like that.”

“It’s part of the scheme. If I don’t follow my game plan,
all
of this will have been a waste.”

“I suppose. I still don’t like it.”

She smiled softly. “That’s because you love me.” “Smart lady.”

The following week Danica called Michael with an interesting piece of news. “You will
never
guess what happened this morning.”

“You felt the baby kick?”

She laughed. “Not yet. It’s much too soon. It’s still a teeny, teeny thing, Michael.”

“Oh…You caught Blake talking to the wall?”

“Maybe in time that, too, but not yet.”

“Okay. I give up. What happened this morning?”

“I got a call from
Boston
magazine. They want me to keep a journal of what I’m experiencing waiting for the trial, then of the trial itself. They think it would make a dynamite article.”

Michael stiffened. “Will you do it?”

“Certainly not! I told the fellow that it was too personal, that I couldn’t possibly think of writing my private feelings for a magazine. When he offered me good money, I told him that it would be immoral for me to even think of cashing in on my husband’s ordeal. That didn’t sink in; he had the gall to ask if he could send a reporter down at intervals to interview me. Can you believe that?”

“Oh, I can believe it all right. I
know
how reporters work.”

“Not all of them are like that. By the way, I had lunch with Cilla yesterday.”

“I know. She called me last night. She knew I was worried about you and wanted to tell me that you look wonderful.”

“We had a nice time together. She said she and Jeff are looking for a place.”

Cilla had told Michael that, too. “But she’s fighting the idea of remarriage.”

“I know. And I feel badly. I guess Jeff wants it very much. But Cilla feels that they have a good thing going now and that they ought to give it more time before they get ‘tangled’ in legal papers again. I think she’ll give in after they’ve lived together for a while.”

“How do you feel about Jeff?”

“I think he’s great!”

“You don’t hold anything against him, then?”

“Because his investigation exposed Eastbridge? Of course not. He was doing his job. But it was just as well that he wasn’t there yesterday. I’m not sure Blake would have appreciated it. He’s not quite as understanding.”

“Then he doesn’t know the connection between Cilla and Jeff?”

“Not yet.”

“Did he give you any flack about seeing Cilla?”

“He was nervous at first. He knew Cilla was a reporter and he was worried she would sink her claws into me and that I’d inadvertently say something I shouldn’t. I told him that our meeting was personal, not professional. I reminded him that Cilla was my friend and
your
sister.”

‘“He must have loved that,” Michael quipped.

“It did shut him up. But I have to give him some credit. He’s been understanding of my need to get out. I have the freedom to come and go as I please.”

“Do you get out much?”

She sighed and shifted the phone on her shoulder. “Actually, no. Where would I go? It’s not as if I have friends here. I see Mom, and now Cilla, but that’s the extent of it.”

Michael remembered how, when she’d been with him, they had gone out each day, how she had enjoyed meeting new friends and seeing old ones. “It must be lonely for you. What do you do with yourself?”

“I sleep.” She smirked. “I’ve been doing that a lot. I’ve been knitting, too. You should see the baby blanket I’m making. It’s almost done and it’s adorable. I think I’ll make several—I’ve felt so good working on it because I think about the baby and about you and how wonderful things will be next spring.”

“I like it when you say that. Sometimes I get discouraged.”

“You know that it’s only a matter of time.”

“It’s always been a matter of time. I guess I’m just getting impatient. I keep thinking about how much I want to be with you. I want to see every change in your body as the baby grows.”

“There’s nothing much to see yet. My breasts are bigger. That’s all.”

“That’s
all
,” Michael squeezed his eyes shut against the images that filled them. “Oh, sweetheart, this is doing nothing for my peace of mind, much less my bodily state.”

Her voice came very softly. “Then we’re even. I lie in bed at night remembering all the ways you’ve touched me and wanting you to do it again. I love you so much, Michael.”

He sucked in an unsteady breath. “I love you even more. And I will do all those things again. I promise.”

“Guess what! Greta’s pregnant too!”

Danica burst into a grin. “That’s fantastic! Does she know about ours?”

“I told her. I told them both. I had to, Dani. We’ve been so close for so long and I was so excited when Greta told me their news that I just couldn’t keep it in. She and Pat are pretty isolated, at least from the other people you know. They won’t say a word—”

“It’s okay! I’m glad you told them. It’s not fair that you have to hide so much. I feel awful about that, Michael. I may be committed to letting the world think this is Blake’s baby for now, but I don’t like it any more than you do.”

“I understand why you’re doing what you are.”

“But I’m proud that my baby’s yours. It makes me sick to think of Blake taking the credit.…His lawyers did leak it to the press, by the way. There was a small notice on the society page two days ago.”

“Any reaction from that?”

“Not that I know of.” Danica hesitated for a minute, thinking about the argument she had had with Blake concerning concealing the true parentage of the baby. But there were times to bend, times when it was safe to bend, as in the case of Greta and Pat and the person she now considered. “Michael? I’d like you to tell Gena. She’ll be so excited. I think she’ll understand what I’m doing.”

Michael smiled and let out a breath. “I know she will. Thanks, sweetheart. I’ve been wanting to tell her, but I didn’t dare. Maybe I’ll take a drive up tomorrow.”

“She’d like that.”

“
I
’d like that.”

“How is…everyone in town?”

“Very well. They ask about you all the time.”

“Do you sense any hostility?”

“Because of the case? None. These people are different, Dani. They were never snowed because of who you were. They never particularly made the connection between you and Blake.”

“I was always with you. They probably know more of the truth than anyone.”

“If they do, they’re not gossiping. They adore you. To a person, they’ve been totally sympathetic. Their main concern is that you’re stuck in Washington having to face Blake’s trial. They want you back up here.”

“So do I.”

“And I. How are you feeling?”

“About the same.”

“No cramps?”

“No, thank God. Just a constant queasiness. The doctor says it’ll pass. I see him again at the beginning of the month.” She gave him the exact day and time. It was, of course, on a Wednesday.

“Can I come with you?”

“That might be pretty risky.”

“But what if I was just a friend, meeting you at the airport and chauffeuring you around.”

“You’re not just a friend. I don’t think we can carry the charade that far. Don’t tell me you’d be satisfied sitting meekly in the waiting room while I see the doctor. Knowing you, you’ll want to be in there with me asking a million questions. It’d never work, Michael. The doctor, the nurse, the receptionist—they’d all be sure to know.”

“Well, then, at least meet me for lunch before my class.”

She grinned. “Now
that
I think I can arrange.”

“Good. I found this terrific Indonesian place. It’s dark and you can wear your disguise—you know, a hat and dark glasses—and no one will ever know it’s you. Hell, I might even forget it myself and think that I’m with a movie star.…”

Danica was feeling lower when she called Michael next. She hesitated for a long time but had finally dialed his number in pure selfishness.

“I’m warning you ahead of time, Michael,” she began instantly. “I know that you expect a sweet, intelligent being, but you’re about to witness something very different.”

“What’s wrong?” he asked in alarm.

“I’m going out of my
mind
! Some days are worse than others, but today was the pits! I started by throwing up, but that’s nothing new, so I won’t even comment on it.” She spoke slowly then, clearly struggling to contain her frustration. “I have been walking around this house all day bored to tears. I don’t feel like knitting. I don’t feel like reading. I don’t feel like going out because there’s nowhere to go and no one to go with. Blake’s been sitting in the living room staring at the walls and I don’t want to talk to him anyway. His tension is contagious. He’s coiled like a spring, and I get that way being with him for more than a minute. I don’t have anything to do, Michael, at least not something that will take my mind off all this.” She let out a loud breath. “So I’m calling you…and feeling guilty about whining.”

He was so relieved that there wasn’t a physical problem that he actually smiled. “Whine all you want, sweetheart. That’s what I’m here for.”

“It’s not. You don’t deserve it. You weren’t the one who asked for this.
I
was.”

“You didn’t ask for it.”

“But I was the one who chose to play the martyr.”

“True,” he drawled in an attempt to humor her. He knew that pregnant women leaned toward pickles and tears, but he hadn’t thought to consider mood swings until now. On the other hand, he reasoned, even beyond pregnancy she had plenty of justification for testiness. The best he could do was to try to talk it out of her. “Why was Blake so bad today? Has something happened with his case?”

“Not necessarily today, but the tension’s mounting. His lawyers are beginning to get a look at the documents the government has. Blake’s signature is right there on the license application filed with the Commerce Department, then again on a paper okaying the shipment. He still claims that he didn’t know the integrated circuits were in the machines
or
that the machines were headed for Russia.”

“Can he prove it?”

“No. But the lawyers feel there’s a solid case for reasonable doubt. The prosecution has to prove his guilt beyond that if they want a conviction, but most of what they have is circumstantial evidence. It may be strong circumstantial evidence, but it is only circumstantial.…There are so many ifs. I think that’s what’s getting Blake down. I don’t know, maybe it’s just boredom for him, too. And he doesn’t have
you
to talk to.”

“Does he talk to anyone?”

“Oh, yes. He plays squash at the health club several times a week and he sees old friends. But he’s been warned not to say anything relating to the case and since that’s what’s preoccupying his mind these days, he really has no outlet other than Jason and Ray. I’m getting tired of them, too. They say the same things over and over again.”