With Every Breath (25 page)

She let out a moan that was part desire and part despair. His kiss gentled and then he feathered his lips over her cheek, down her jawbone and then upward, pressing his mouth tenderly over both eyelids. He licked away the tiny evidence of moisture at the corners of her eyes even as his arms fully enveloped her, anchoring her body to his.

“You matter, Eliza,” he whispered against her skin. “You matter to a lot of people, but you matter to me. To
me
. And I'm not letting you go now that I've finally gotten you where I want you.”

He rotated, rolling until he was solidly atop her, his warmth and strength seeping into her very bones. When was the last time she truly felt safe? When was the last time she felt free to just . . . be? He overwhelmed her. Made her feel all the things he'd attributed to her. In his arms she truly felt precious. Important. Loved . . .

She shook her head in silent denial. She wouldn't—couldn't—go there. No one could ever love her. Find her worthy. How could they when she knew the truth? When she bore the sins of a lifetime and there would never be absolution for her. But God, he made her want. Just for a few precious moments, he made her dream of what could have been if she hadn't made so many mistakes.

“Whatever you're thinking, get it out of your head,” Wade said fiercely. “Look at me, Eliza. Look only at me and see me.”

Reluctantly she lifted her gaze to his, so afraid of what he'd see. Of the evil lurking beyond the façade she'd perfected over so many years. A knot formed in her throat, robbing her of the ability to speak, because there was only understanding. Gentleness and such tenderness that it made her want to weep all over again.

“You're so beautiful,” he whispered, his lips hovering just above hers. “Inside and out. Never have I met a woman as fierce, loyal, loving and vulnerable as you. You break my heart, baby. And as God as my witness I'm going to piece every part of you back together so that one day you'll look in the mirror and see exactly what I see. A woman who stands for good. A woman who won't back down at the first sign of adversity. Someone who will go to the wall for those she loves. A protector of the innocent and bringer of justice. And you're mine.”

Satisfaction was a savage light in his eyes as he announced his claim. He didn't wait for a response, not that she could have given him one anyway. He ravaged her mouth in a hungry kiss as if he were starved for her. As if he'd waited forever for this moment. It bewildered her. He bewildered her.

His mouth swept down her throat, his teeth grazing her sensitive skin, alternately sucking and nipping his way down to her breasts. Her hands fluttered to his shoulders but he quickly captured her wrists and pinned them above her head, holding her in place while he took possession of every inch of her flesh.

For a moment she struggled, not liking that she felt so helpless, but he raised his mouth to hers again, shushing her with a deep, spine-tingling kiss.

“You know I won't hurt you, baby,” he said, his eyes full of tenderness. “But this is my show. I've waited for fucking ever to have you beneath me, mine to do with as I wish, and I'm going to savor every minute of it.”

The lump in her throat grew larger. He couldn't possibly mean it. His words, his expression, the way he looked at her. It wasn't real. It couldn't be real. No one could ever love her. Not after knowing all she'd done.

“Stop,” he said in a forceful voice. “Stop thinking and just feel. If you won't believe my words then I'll have to show you what you mean to me.”

She stared at him with all the fear and vulnerability she felt. He had the power to destroy her. She, who admitted no weakness, no vulnerability, had realized that he held the key to her ultimate destruction. If he turned away from her after making her believe . . . She closed her eyes, unwilling to even think it. He could destroy her when nothing else had. He could do what even Thomas had been unable to accomplish and she hated being so powerless against Wade.

“Baby.”

Just one word. So filled with the one thing she'd never allowed herself to even entertain. The one thing she had craved above all else. He kissed her again. And again. Then he began working his way once more down her body, lavishing so much caring in every kiss, every caress.

He pressed a kiss to her navel and then flicked his tongue into the shallow indention, causing an immediate eruption of chill bumps over her belly. He went lower still, gently parting her thighs, patiently waiting when she immediately went rigid. He merely waited, lifting his gaze to hers as though silently willing her to trust him. And oh God, she did. She did trust him.

Gradually she relaxed and he spread her legs, running the tip of his finger through the net of curls between her thighs. He grew bolder, parting the soft folds and then caressing the sensitive bundle of nerves at the very heart of her.

She cried out when his mouth followed suit and he carefully licked and then sucked the taut bud into his mouth. He licked his way downward, leaving no part of her most intimate flesh unattended. The tip of his tongue circled her opening and then delved within. Her back bowed off the bed in an unconscious plea for more. She wanted all of him.

“Wade, please,” she cried.

Her outburst seemed to wrest his carefully wrought control from him as though he'd been using great restraint until now. Suddenly he was dominant and forceful, his body moving over hers, his eyes glittering with harsh need that matched her own.

Once again he pinned her wrists above her head, holding them tightly against the mattress so she was helpless to move. His big body covered hers in a blatant show of dominance as he fed ravenously from her mouth, her neck, bending lower to ravage her breasts.

No longer did he take things slow and sweet. He was showing her his ownership, that he'd never let her go now, and God, but she didn't even care. She wanted—needed—was desperate for release. Need clawed at her insides. Never had she felt anything to match this. Never had she even imagined needing someone the way she needed Wade.

He kneed her thighs apart, his turgid erection prodding urgently at her opening. In one thrust he was so deep inside her that she couldn't differentiate between the two of them. In that moment they were one person. One body. She gasped at the fullness but then he withdrew and hammered forward again, wringing a desperate cry from her.

She wanted to touch him, to caress him as he'd done her, but her arms were firmly captured against the bed, his hands wrapped around her wrists as he pounded into her over and over. And suddenly he yanked himself from her body and she whimpered her protest, suddenly bereft of his warmth, his comfort, his strength.

Before she could ask him what was wrong, he flipped her over onto her stomach and once more placed her arms above her head with a gruff command not to move them. Then he slid one strong arm underneath her belly and lifted her to her knees. When she would have raised her head, he gently placed his palm over her hair and pushed her head back to the pillow.

With her ass in the air, head down and arms above her, she felt . . . captured. Deliciously so. Arousal thrummed hotly in her veins. Wade wasn't finished with his show of ownership.

His fingers dug into her hips and then feathered over her behind. She felt the brush of his lips at the small of her back and she closed her eyes as her thighs were once again parted. Then he was on her, inside her, plunging so deep that she gasped and balled the sheets with her fingers into tight fists to stave off her impending orgasm. Not yet. Oh God, not yet. She closed her eyes as her body rocked forward with the force of Wade's thrusts.

He set a relentless pace, hard, deep, planting himself into her very soul. And yet through it all, his hands and mouth were gentle on her skin. So tender and sweet her heart ached. It was as if he were sending her a message, one she'd refused to hear verbally.

“How close are you, Eliza?” he asked hoarsely. “I want you with me, baby. Always with me.”

“Close,” she choked out. “Please don't stop, Wade. Please.”

He pressed his lips between her shoulder blades and whispered against her skin. “You'll never have to ask me for anything that is within my power to give you.”

As brutal and commanding as his pace had been earlier, he slowed now, stroking leisurely, prolonging both their releases. And when it came, it was nothing like Eliza had ever experienced in her life. It was so beautiful and heartrending that she couldn't have spoken if she wanted.

Wade lowered his body to hers, following her down flat on the bed. He rolled to his side so she didn't bear his weight, still embedded deeply within her. He wrapped his arms solidly around her and held her tightly against his thudding chest. He buried his face in her neck and remained so for several long moments.

Emotion overwhelmed Eliza. As did regret. Tears streaked down her cheeks as she clutched at the arms wrapped firmly around her.

“Eliza?”

Wade sounded worried and unsure. He lifted one hand to wipe at her cheek.

“Baby, what is it? Did I hurt you?”

She shook her head mutely and then closed her eyes, her heart shattering into a million pieces.

“Oh God, Wade. What have I done? I can't let you fight my battles for me. I can't risk you. I can't lose you. It would destroy me,” she said tearfully.

His grip tightened around her and he kissed her temple. “And you don't think it would destroy me if I lost you?”

SEVENTEEN

WADE
woke, instinctively knowing that Eliza was no longer asleep beside him. She was sitting up, distance between them on the bed, her knees drawn to her chest, a pensive expression marring her beautiful features. She was miles away, her thoughts not pleasant judging by the slight frown and the sorrow in her eyes.

He shifted quietly so as not to disturb her and then sat up, closing the distance as he scooted toward her, not wanting any space between them. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her side to his chest. She surprised him by laying her head on his chest and emitting a soft sigh that told him he'd been correct that her thoughts were not happy ones.

“What are you thinking?” he asked quietly, brushing a kiss over the top of her head.

“What a mess I've gotten you into,” she said in a low tone filled with regret.

“I don't remember giving you a choice,” he said dryly.

“He has to be taken out, Wade,” she said earnestly. “I can't—won't—just let it go. You can't ask me to do that.”

“He needs to be taken down,” he agreed. “But you will have nothing to do with it. I will not let you face that bastard again. Ever.”

“Then we have to come up with a plan that will work,” she said, for the first time giving him any indication that she was accepting his help.

He tightened his hold on her, shaken by her quiet acceptance and humbled by her trust, even if she hadn't given him those exact words.

“We will.”

“I have an idea,” she began.

“Do I want to hear this?” he asked, his tone one of clear warning.

“You can't barge into that town and let it be known you're looking for him or that you have any interest whatsoever in him. He'll know, Wade. And then whatever plan you've come up with will be useless. It has to be me.”

He was already shaking his head. No way. No fucking way was he putting her in harm's way.

“Just listen to me, please. I've given this a lot of thought.”

“All right,” he said grudgingly. “I'll listen but that's all I can promise you.”

“I've already announced my presence in town. Not in so many words, but I've been seen. Made certain I was seen and that people knew who I was. They know I'm back and I've seen the disdain and disgust in their eyes. They blame me every bit as much as they blame Thomas. Maybe more so because they believe I should have been punished too and in their eyes I got away with murder, my role in those murders, and I went free while Thomas was sentenced to jail time.”

Wade's jaw tightened and he was filled with murderous rage.

“He goes free tomorrow so I only have one more day and I need to make the most of it. I need to go back into town. Let it slip that I'm waiting. Let it be known where I am, wherever here is. Bait the trap. Because he'll come for me. He won't be able to control himself. We set a trap for him and when he shows, then we take him down.”

“I take him down,” Wade said firmly.

She shrugged. “You, me, as long as it's done but I won't let you take the rap for me, Wade. I won't. I'll claim full responsibility and nothing you can say will make me change my mind.”

He wanted to shake some sense into her stubborn head. God, but the woman infuriated him even as he admired her sense of justice.

“Your team is headed to Calvary today,” he said, bracing for her reaction.

“
What?”

She paled and began to tremble, her eyes wide with fear and panic.

“Baby, do you honestly think they'd just sit on their hands when someone as important to them as you is in danger? When you wrote what amounted to a fucking goodbye letter and scared the ever living fuck out of them? Dane was completely unhinged. Lost his shit. It took everything I had and all manner of threats to make them sit on their hands for at least twenty-four hours until I could talk to you and we could come up with a plan of action. You matter to them, Eliza. Every bit as much as they matter to you and if you don't think so then you must not have a very high opinion of the people you work with.”

“They can't be here,” Eliza said, her voice shaking, tears welling in her eyes. “Oh God, Wade, I can't lose them. I can't lose you. Can't you understand that? It would kill me if anything happened to
any
of you.”

“And you think you're expendable? You're wrong. Dead wrong. You matter a hell of a lot to a lot of people and there is no way in hell any of us are going to stand back and let you take the fall for something you hold no responsibility for.”