Wishing Water (47 page)

She flew about her bedroom emptying drawers and cupboards, fingers fumbling with coat hangers. From the moment Philip had dropped them at the door and gone back to his office this morning, Lissa had been in a fever of activity. She had rung Renee to tell her she would not be into the shop but now, with her suitcases finally packed, she stared at them in some distress. How to get them out of the house? And there were still the twins to get ready and Nanny Sue to deal with.

Thrusting the cases back into her wardrobe she decided she would have to risk collecting them later. Perhaps she could ask Jimmy. All that mattered was that she get away.

She stood and gazed out at the happy scene, the blue and white image blurring in her tears. What a mess. Why couldn’t she be happy as those people were happy? But this wasn’t the moment for self-pity. She refused to be a victim any longer. The terms, so far as Lissa was concerned, had been broken. Now she must take her chances alone.

`I’ve decided to take the children out this morning,’ she told Nanny Sue who at once frowned in disapproval.

‘But it’s very nearly their lunchtime.’
 

Lissa panicked, feeling the sweat start up between her breasts. Philip would be home for lunch. He would ring first, to check she was back from the shop. It had taken far too long to get ready but she couldn’t stop now. She drew in a steadying breath. ‘I’m taking them out to lunch. Miss Stevens is expecting us at twelve sharp,’ she lied. ‘Come along, my darlings, wash your hands and find your favourite doll or teddy to come with us. We are going to have a picnic.’
 

Squeals of excitement and much running about and demands to change clothes, choose another toy or take a bicycle. Lissa refused all requests, keenly aware, beneath Nanny’s gimlet gaze, that time was of the essence.

‘Say bye-bye to Nanny,’ she called cheerily, trying not to appear in a hurry as she piled them into the old van. Where could she take them? Certainly not to Miss Stevens. It wouldn’t be right to involve her in matrimonial disputes. Nab Cottage perhaps? No, Renee would not be there. Besides, that would be the first place Philip would look. The shop then. There was nothing else for it but the rooms over the shop. Stella Stevens would have to be placated about that too, in the end.

But first the promised picnic. Lissa stopped at a bakery and bought doughnuts and tiny sausage rolls, a stick of bread, a packet of cream cheese portions, and some Grasmere gingerbread. Far too much in her panic. The twins were delighted.

‘Can we have Coca-Cola?’ A special treat, reminding Lissa of her teenage years.

They ate the picnic by the lake. At least the twins did, Lissa’s throat refused to swallow a morsel. And then they must play the twins’ favourite games. Hide and Seek among the trees, The Big Ship Sails through the Alley-Alley-Oh. Going through the motions of normality when inside she was falling apart.

Derry was waiting on the doorstep of Nab Cottage when Renee arrived home to lunch. He seemed strangely silent, unlike his usual self, so she chatted on, saying how it made a nice break to have lunch at home in her otherwise busy day. They sat in the small parlour sipping tea and eating the potted beef sandwiches she had prepared, cut into triangles and spaced out neatly on a blue and white striped plate.

‘Do you like the new style? You never said, when you called before.’
 

Derry glanced vaguely about him, trying to sound interested. ‘It looks very smart.’
 

‘I’m a girl of the sixties now,’ Renee said proudly. ‘With a career. But I spend my money on our home. Jimmy likes it to be comfortable.’
 

Gone was the brown-tiled fireplace, replaced by a neat electric fire in a teak surround. The old orange-spattered walls were now a pale cream, one of them decked out with black glass and chrome fittings on which reposed a record player, a battery of speakers, and a stack of records. Above hung a picture of a pretty Chinese girl and a photograph of Jimmy with his boat on the lake.

‘I’m glad you’re doing well, Renee,’ Derry said and was surprised to find that he meant it. She looked different too. The orange lipstick had been replaced by palest pink against a flawless, cream-tinted skin. The red hair was puffed out on top in the new bouffant style, tucked up at the nape of her neck with a tortoiseshell comb. She looked attractive, and surprisingly smart and tidy in a neat trouser suit of pale green linen. ‘Dad looks well too, happier than I’ve ever seen him.’ He gave her a wry grin. ‘I can see I was wrong about you two.’
 

Renee’s eyes glimmered. ‘Odd couple we may be, but well suited, eh?’ she said dryly.

‘Something like that. It all seems to have worked out right anyway.’
 

Renee recognised the haunting sadness in his voice. ‘You haven’t done so badly yourself. Got a good job in a top agency. Making loads of money by the looks of you. Swanky car back home, eh? Fancy house, I shouldn’t wonder.’
 

Derry’s eyes were bleak as they looked anywhere but into hers. ‘I’ve done all right. I was near starvation at one time, then a guy took pity on me and gave me a job as a gofer.’
 

‘Gofer.’

‘Go for this, go for that. It’s an American term.’
 

Renee chortled with glee. ‘I like it. And the rest is history, eh?’

‘I worked my way up, with hard graft and lots of boot licking. Now I’m a partner in the business. I enjoy the work, feel like I’m doing some good helping the poor over-optimistic souls to get going in the music trade on the right terms. Or gently letting down those who’ll never make it.’
 

‘So your training as a lawyer’s clerk has come in handy after all?’
 

‘I suppose it has.’ He set aside a half eaten sandwich and flopped back in the chair, clenching his fists on a spurt of anger. ‘But what’s the good of being successful when you can’t have the one thing you need most in all the world?’
 

‘Lissa?’

‘Lissa.’
 

They were both silent for a long moment, even the loquacious Renee lost for words. He stood up. ‘I have to go. I wanted to ask you...’
 

Renee looked up at him with a smile, her eyes kind. ‘Ask away, lad.’
 

‘Look after her for me, that’s all. I’ll be staying at Ashlea for a week or two yet, till I’m sure she’s OK. Then I’d like to spend a day or two here, with Dad, before I leave.’
 

‘Yes to both requests. You’re always welcome here, it’s your second home. No more garden sheds, I promise.’
 

He laughed fondly at the memory but then saw that she wasn’t joining in. ‘It’s all right,’ he said, grinning. ‘I bear no grudges. I probably deserved to be turfed out, behaving with typical teenage arrogance and total lack of consideration at the time.’
 

‘No, it’s not that.’ Renee got up and started to tidy and smooth the blue and yellow scatter cushions on an already immaculate sofa. She spoke quickly as if to get it done with. ‘I never mentioned it to your dad but I went to see Philip Brandon. I told him I wanted you out from under my feet. That Jimmy and me wanted to be on us own. It was Philip Brandon’s idea to put you in the shed. He said he’d encourage you to find a place of your own.’ She slanted a glance across at Derry, saw his frozen expression.

‘I only wanted him to give you a raise,’ she explained. ‘So’s you’d have enough to pay the rent. And to ask his advice on doing bed and breakfast.’
 

‘Instead of which he made up a tale about my damaging his yacht and sacked me on the spot.’
 

Renee looked horrified. ‘Oh, my giddy aunt! It’s worse than I thought. Why didn’t you tell us? Did he threaten you with the police?’
 

‘Yep.’
 

‘So that’s why you left?’
 

‘That’s why I left. That and my own arrogant ambition.’
 

Renee gazed at him, stricken, realising how they’d both been manipulated. ‘He wanted Lissa. That’s what it was all about. He’d fancied her for a long while. By heck, it’s obvious now, isn’t it?’

‘I was all too aware of his interest. Jealous as hell I was. Only I was too wrapped up in my own ambitions, silly dreams really, to do anything about it. I stupidly thought she’d wait for me. But then it didn’t work out and I couldn’t come back to her a failure, could I? When I did it was too late. Philip Brandon had won.’
 

He sank back into his chair and Renee went to him and patted his shoulder, feeling helpless in his despair. ‘What could you have done? You’d no money to fight him. Lissa chose to wed him. A mistake she now regrets and can’t get out of. I’ve known there was summat up for ages, though it took her a while to admit to it. And it’s mebbe all my fault. Oh dear God!’

‘It would still have happened, Renee, with or without your complicity. And, no, I won’t tell Dad you had anything to do with it, if that’s what’s worrying you. You don’t need to blame yourself.’
 

Renee blinked away the prick of tears. ‘That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me. It took me ages to pacify him after your last visit.’
 

They both gave an embarrassed laugh at the memory of their impromptu kiss.

‘You’re all right, Renee, you know that?’
 

‘Bone-head, that’s me. But you don’t have to worry. I’ll keep an eye out for her. It’ll all come to a head soon enough, you see if it don’t.’
 

‘If he treats her badly, I’ll…’
 

‘Don’t say it. It’ll do no good. Don’t even think it. Now I’d best get back to work or I’ll be given my cards.’
 

‘I’ve done it, Renee. I’ve left him.’
 

Renee stared at Lissa in disbelief, and at the two children beside her, faces daubed with jam, innocent of their new status in life. ‘Crikey, I never thought you had it in you.’

‘We had a lovely picnic, Renee.’
 

‘And Mummy says we can sleep at the shop tonight.’

‘Orphans in the storm, eh?’
 

‘There’s so much I have to arrange. My luggage, for one thing. Two suitcases in my wardrobe. Do you think Jimmy would collect them for me? He’d have to go this afternoon, while Philip is in the office and Nanny is out on her walk.’
 

‘I’ll see to it.’
 

‘Is it clean upstairs, do you think?’

‘Clean enough.’
 

‘Oh, I have so many plans, Renee. I’m going to live up there, if Miss Stevens is agreeable. Develop the business, and be independent at last.’

Alarmed by the feverish brightness of Lissa’s chatter, Renee put out a gentle hand. ‘Let’s get these bairns cleaned up and seen to first, shall we?’
 

By half-past five the shop was locked up for the day. The children had been fed and put early to bed, unprotesting for once because of the novelty of being in sleeping bags on the floor of a tiny room above the shop.

‘Is this a real adventure, Mummy?’
 

‘Yes, my darlings. A real adventure.’
 

‘Will Daddy be coming to share it?’ Beth wanted to know.

‘Not tonight. Now close your eyes. You’ve had a busy few days. Far too much excitement.’ She kissed each soft round cheek, left a small night lamp lit and crept downstairs with a sigh of relief. ‘I’ll count up the takings tonight, Renee. You must be worn out.’

‘Not too bad. That new girl is shaping up pretty well. Been busy though. Sold three of those new quilted jackets.’
 

‘That’s good.’ Lissa struggled to find the necessary enthusiasm as she clasped and unclasped her hands, unable to resist glancing at the door.

‘Do you think he’ll come?’ Renee asked.

‘I-I don’t know. I hope not. I don’t think I could take any more just now.’
 

‘Did you leave a note?’
 

Lissa swallowed and managed a brief nod.
 

‘I’ll stay with you,’ Renee decided.

‘There’s no need. I’ll be fine.’
 

‘Nevertheless I’m staying. I’ll go and explain to our Jimmy, then I’ll be straight back.’ She grinned. ‘Have you had any supper?’
 

Lissa shook her head.

‘I’ll fetch some fish and chips and a couple of beers. We’ll have a party to celebrate your freedom. Why not?’

‘Why not?’ Lissa grinned back, trying to recapture her earlier mood of optimism.

They drank the bottled beer and ate the fish and chips, licking salt and vinegar from their fingers like giggling children. Renee insisted on staying until it was quite late before finally being persuaded to go home to Jimmy. Then Lissa climbed the stairs on weary feet, putting out the lights as she went. She was glad to be alone at last, wanting to think, work out what was best to be done, but her mind was too tired to function.

She scrubbed her face and teeth, dragged a brush through her long hair and softly kissed each sleeping twin. Then she climbed into her own improvised sleeping bag with a sigh of relief. It felt strange, and oddly exhilarating. Whatever the future brought, she would face it.