Wishful Thinking (3 page)

Emily was still pissy—with every right to be I supposed—about me dumping her to go out with Summer. I didn't mean to hurt her, but I had a thing for Summer since the first time I laid eyes on her freshman year in Mrs. Barrett’s AP English class. Back then I had zero confidence. No game all elbows, knees and acne. This gangly looking thing who hadn't grown into his height. To put it simply I didn't have a shot with her.

Since freshman year I'd gained sixty pounds of muscles—haven't quite mastered a six pack, but I'm working on it—and built a bit of confidence. According to more than one girl on campus I have the most beautiful blue eyes of any guy ever, and, apparently, my long dark lashes make them pop whatever that means.
 

So, when Summer showed interest I jumped and left Emily in the dust. I feel bad about it, but ... every time I look at Summer, I don't feel that bad. Hmm, where was Summer?
 

Kyle and Emily continued to bicker annoying me. No way Emily would listen to me if I told her shut-up. She’d take it as an invitation to continue arguing, so I went with Kyle.

“Drop it," I said to him.

He turned away from Emily suddenly very interested in his new loafers.
 

Emily was shaking her head and tapping her pinks nails on the table. "You don't need to defend me. I can handle myself against this fool."

"I wasn't defending anyone I just want you two to shut-up."

Kyle shook his head and went back to pistachio kicking. Before the conversation had a chance to take a turn for the better Nate showed up with new girl. I should have known he'd target her. As far as guys went Nate is what girl's considered good-looking. He fit the stereotype of tall, dark and handsome to a tee—his Italian roots played a role in that—and his dark green eyes sent girls swooning. But Nate has a voracious appetite and monogamy wasn’t high on his list of priorities which garnered him a reputation. As such, most girls stayed away from him which is why, I assumed, new girl was so enticing, she didn’t know Nate, yet.
 

"Hey guys," Nate said when he reached our table, "you meet Claudia?"

Kyle jumped up and held out a hand, "Nice to meet you Claudia I'm Kyle, your go-to guy for anything. You need it, I'll get it."

"I thought your people wanted slavery abolished, so what are you doing trying to bring it back?"

“Your people? Dumbass white boy," Kyle said, "am I right," he looked back to Emily. Whenever the color card was played he always figured to have Emily on his side. To bad for Kyle, because Emily wasn’t on anyone’s side but her own.

"Hell no, don't act like we're friends now," Emily said, "you're on your own."

Dean turned to me, "I have to go." He got up and gave Claudia a pat on her shoulder, "A word to the wise, watch out for these two," he said and walked away.

Nate turned to me, "This is James."

Claudia smiled. "Hey, great points about gay marriage and adoption."

"Thanks," I said.
 

"Do I want to know?” Nate looked from Claudia to me.

I scooped up the trash from my meal, "No."

“We’re in debate together,” Claudia said.

Nate looked down the table at Emily. They stared each other down. Nate was first to look away. He smiled at Claudia and took one of her hands in his, "What's your next class?" he asked playing with her fingers between his. Emily continued staring at Nate, her eyes creasing into a glare. She snatched up her bag, and without a word huffed off.
 

"Latin," Claudia said flatly.
 

"Come on, I'll show you the way," Nate said.
 

Kyle hopped off the table, "See you James," and hurried off after Claudia and Nate.
 

I grabbed my bag, and headed to Pre-Cal.

At the end of school I leaned against the hood of my Jeep waiting for Summer to come out so I could hurry and take her home before practice. I hadn't seen her since this morning which, in and of itself wasn’t strange, but her not being at lunch was. Usually, if she skipped, to go to study hall or tutoring an underclassman, she'd text me to let me know, but my phone was dormant today. Had I pissed her off without knowing it, again?

"You skipping out on practice today?" Dean asked as he approached my car.
 

"No, I'm waiting for Summer. Have to give her a ride."

Dean raised a brow at me, "Why? I thought she was hitching a ride home with Emily."

That was news to me. I took my phone out of my pocket and touched the screen. There was a text from Summer sent a minute ago. "You're right, I forgot is all, that pre-cal test did a number to my brain," I said slipping my phone back into my jacket pocket not bothering to read her text.
 

"How do you think you did?"

“A, B easy," I said loosening my tie. "What about you?"

Dean dumped his bag on the hood of my Jeep, and then with dramatic flair threw his head down on his bag, "An A minus," he muttered into his bag.

"Uh-oh, you're slipping," I said and laughed.
 

"Shut-up," he said when he stood back up. "If I give you my playbook would you pass it on to coach?"

"Is the great and powerful Dean thinking about ditching?"

Dean started doing his nervous hair smoothing, he’d been acting anxious all day.. "I gotta get out of here."

"You okay?"
 

"Man, sometimes I wish ..." Dean stopped smoothing down his hair and took a deep breath, "I'm fine, just need to go grab the plays from my car."

"You sure," I said, "that you're okay?"

"I'm fine seriously, I skipped … I think—I'll see you on the field." Dean picked up his bag and headed over to his Prius parked two rows over from me.
 

I watched him walk for a minute positive of two things: Dean wasn't okay, and I wouldn’t press him on the issue. One thing I learned from therapy or whatever, is that pressing someone gets two results; they either seal-up and nothing comes out or they spill everything to you. I’m okay with the first but the latter is difficult. I can barely handle my own feelings and problems. My life is a disaster. I’d feel like a hypocrite offering advice.
 

Trekking to the basement of Crestview’s gymnasium where the boy’s locker room was, freaked me out. It used to be a bomb shelter through the 40s and 50s and the lights tended to flicker down there. It also smelled like sulfur. And I swear I’ve felt a presence. You know like someone watching me, but when I turn there’s no one there. Okay, maybe I’ve watched to many paranormal movies lately, it’s not like ghosts are real, right?

 
I shook it off and proceeded downstairs. The locker room door hung open and Nate’s voice carried out into the hall. He talked a lot.

At my locker I pulled out my gym shorts and shirt which were in dire need of washing. Maybe next week I’d take them home and wash them, I took a sniff, or burn them and bring in new ones. After I was dressed out in my rather crispy and a tad itchy gym shorts I headed towards the spot Nate’s voice emanated from. He was the next aisle over talking to Tyler, Ian and Caleb.
 

He talked excitedly using his arms, "She’s not bad, right," he said nodding a heads up at me.
 

I sat down next to Tyler and retied my cleats. "Who are we talking about?" As if I didn’t know.

"Claudia, I’m thinking I’m in."

"I haven’t seen her," Ian said, “is she fine?"

"She’s not bad," I said. I finished tying my shoes and stood up.
 

"Not bad? Whatever. You can’t see past Summer to notice the hot ones around you. She’ll make a fine addition to my—collection." Nate opened his locker and turned around to lean against it, "Why don’t you and Summer go on a double with us Saturday."

“Talking to her at lunch does not mean she’ll go on a date with you,” I said.
 

Nate looked me up and down, started shaking his head, then cocked a brow, “Trust me I can close the deal.”

Inwardly, I rolled my eyes but there was a good chance Nate would in fact close the deal. No use arguing it with him. “I don’t know, we’ll see." I pulled on my shirt, which was beyond ripe and itched. Definitely burn them.
 

"Yeah, is Trevor still sniffing at her back door?" Tyler asked.
 

Caleb slapped Tyler’s arm, "Dude, don’t go there."

"Go where?" Ian said.
 

"I saw Summer getting into Trevor’s car after school,” Tyler supplied.

What? It was news to me. Dean said Summer went home with Emily not Trevor. This had to be Tyler trying his shit again. He wanted into the “pack” by any means necessary even going so far as bald face lies to do it. When I say pack I’m talking about the forwards.
 

Caleb played hooker, Ian was scrum-half, Kyle was our number eight while Nate and I played locks. Tyler, on the other hand, played winger, one of the weaker positions, and part of the backs. Not only did he want the recognition that followed playing a forward position he wanted the friendship too. What really irked me was not knowing if it were true or not. The state of my relationship with Summer was rocky at best, but I couldn’t let the guys know that or see me sweat about it.
 

“What? You’re tripping she went home with Emily." I just hoped what I said was true or else I’d be opening an invitation for torment.

"Sure, Emily was with them, but they got into Trevor’s car."

Phew. Though she was still with Trevor and that didn’t sit well.
 

“Front or back?” Nate asked.
 

“Huh,” Tyler said looking totally confused.
 

Nate slapped him on the back of the head, “Was she in the front or back seat?”

“Who?” Tyler replied.
 

“You’re an idiot,” Nate said, “no wonder the girls keep walking when you stop. Who was riding bitch?”

“Oh,” Tyler was laughing now aware of what Nate was asking. “Emily was up front.”

Nate patted my shoulder and gave me the universal head nod like Emily riding up front said it all. Wish I knew what all it said.

I shook it off, "Trevor can sniff all he wants, but he ain’t getting it. And Nate we have a game Saturday."

Ian ran a hand through his blond hair, "Nah man, you didn’t hear? The Wolverines coach was canned last week, inappropriate hands or showers or something. Jackson High is trying to brush it under the rug but I guess the team sort of disbanded."

"Where’d you hear that?" Nate asked unfastening his Rolex and putting it inside a lockbox he kept inside his locker.
 

"Coach, on the phone yesterday," Ian said.
 

"Damn, I’d love to see a coach get handsie with me, I wouldn’t hesitate to pop him in the jaw," Caleb said demonstrating his right hook.
 

I nodded along but I was only half-listening to their conversation. This Trevor, Summer thing was making me itch, or maybe it was my shirt. She’d avoided me all day and sent me one lousy text. Tyler slapped a hand down on my shoulder, “You hit that yet?”

"None of your business."

"I’ll take that as a no. Girls know in three-seconds whether or not they’ll sleep with you. How long you and Summer been together? Four months right and nothing?"

Nate stroked his chin as though Tyler had said the most brilliant thing ever. “Excellent point,” Nate responded. Tyler preened under Nate’s admiration.
 

"I know it’s hard for you two to understand the give and take of relationships since neither of you have ever had one, but they’re about more than just sex."
 

“Everything should be about sex,” Tyler added.
 

“Summer isn’t a virgin,” Nate said.

“Yeah, she’s been with plenty of dudes,” Tyler added moving closer to Nate’s right. Tyler was being a dick, aligning himself with Nate and Nate wasn’t helping.

“I’m not having this conversation," I said and stormed off. Another item to add to my list of things that pissed me off today. I needed rugby practice bad. Things were piling up on my plate and I needed to release them before I blew.

Kyle was talking with Dean and Coach along the sidelines when I walked up on the field. I didn’t even get within thirty feet of them before Coach blew his whistle, “Castle, four laps.” He blew his whistle again. I waved my hand and headed to the starting point on the track lanes.
 

Jonathan, our tight end, Wade, our blindside, Ryan and O’Rourke, the centers and Walter our fly-half, were already running. I caught up to Jonathan easily enough and passed him then made my way around Wade and Ryan, but O’Rourke looked over his shoulder, saw me and said, “Not today,” and doubled his speed.

A challenge was just what I needed. If I could beat O’Rourke than I could beat Trevor, and the old memories bothering me. I won and it all went away.
 

“Accepted,” I said to O’Rourke’s back. I took several deep breaths keeping an even pace going. I finished two laps and had two laps to go but couldn’t burn my speed yet if I intended to win, and I did. At his current rate he’d burn out by the end of this lap and that’s when I would put on the speed annihilating him.