Wish Upon a Christmas Cake (23 page)

‘Yes…please. That would be great.’ No harm could come of a trip to the cinema, could it?

‘Excellent.’ Sam lifted the beef to his mouth again and chewed and I watched him like some teenager with a high school crush. Was I hanging on his every word too?

When we’d polished off dessert and the kids had gone to play in the garden, Mum brought coffee and we moved into the living room.

‘Are you sure they’ll be okay outside?’ I asked Sam. ‘It’s freezing.’

‘Do them good,’ he said. ‘They’re all wrapped up and they can wear the dogs out.’

The dogs. That was another thing that puzzled me. Esther had let them into her house. Her spotless, shiny, animal-free abode. I’d begged her for pets as a child but she hadn’t relented, except for one time when she let me bring the school hamster home. And that had been a disaster as he’d escaped and eaten through the skirting in my room before Karl had managed to recapture him. At least he’d told me that it was the same hamster but I wasn’t convinced that hamsters changed colour like chameleons and the hamster I’d returned to the school had been a far lighter shade of brown than when he’d come home with me.

‘Here, Katie.’ She handed me coffee and I perched on the brown leather sofa in the familiar lounge as Sam politely discussed the latest political news with Dad and Mum poured coffee.

‘Where are the after-dinner mints, Charles?’ Mum asked suddenly.

Dad frowned. ‘I thought I put them on the dresser in the dining room?’

‘Nope.’ Mum nudged him. ‘Come help me find them.’

They left the room and I saw Dad place a hand in the small of Mum’s back. Affectionate as ever.

I looked around the room. The walls were lined with paintings and photographs and I stared at them. There were images behind glass on the walls that made me cringe. Me at twelve with my curls scraped back into a high ponytail and wearing a pair of fluorescent dangly earrings for my first high school photograph. I’d thought I looked the bee’s knees that day. The next one was of Karl and me at a family wedding. Probably one of Aunty Gina’s. It was a full-length shot and Karl towered over me. This time my hair was down and I’d clearly tried to straighten it; in the days before straighteners. I’d used the iron. I cringed as I recalled the steam burn it had caused on the back of my neck. Mum had gone mad with me and rushed me to casualty even though the wedding had been late morning. The nurse had assessed me and said that there wasn’t much they could do except give me painkillers and apply a topical cream to soothe it. But Mum had pestered me all day, constantly checking that I was feeling all right. I couldn’t remember where Dad had been during the wedding party though. I’d danced with Karl and Granny and Mum, but not with Dad. Funny how things like that come back. One memory can spawn another and another and so on.

I turned back to Sam and caught him staring at me. ‘Where were you?’ he asked.

I blushed. ‘Remembering.’

‘I remember a few things from when we were younger too,’ he said and grinned, then pointed to a photograph of me at seventeen. ‘Karl took that one when your parents went away for a weekend and your granny was staying here to keep an eye on you both. You were so cute, Katie.’

I frowned. I really wasn’t. My frizz was up and I had a dazed expression. How could he possible say that I was cute?

‘Wasn’t that the night that you got wasted and…’

I held up a hand. ‘Oh no, do not go there!’

He laughed and the sound reverberated through me, tingling in all the places I shouldn’t let it. Talk about inappropriate timing. ‘Not now,’ I said through clenched teeth.

‘Okay, but I’d like to take a trip down memory lane some time. Perhaps then we can discuss what happened at Christmas too.’

‘Sure.’ I took a gulp of coffee. He wanted to talk about what happened between us at Christmas. So did I. But I was also nervous. Where could we go from here? I knew where I’d like to go but I had no idea if Sam felt the same. We’d not seen each other in weeks.

If only life was as strategic as a game of chess.

***

‘I guess I’d better get going.’ I stood and looked around for my bag. ‘Let me know how you get on with the estate agent tomorrow.’

‘Of course,’ Mum said. ‘I’ll ring you as soon as they’ve gone.’

‘I’ll just grab the kids and dogs,’ Sam said as he disappeared into the kitchen.

Mum and Dad followed me into the hallway.

‘Katie? You mustn’t blame your dad for inviting Sam. We bumped into him in town and when he said that he hadn’t seen you since Christmas, we were a bit concerned.’

‘But at Christmas you told me to take care.’

‘I know, Katie, but I didn’t mean avoid him altogether. You were getting on so well. As long as you remember that there are children involved, then it should be fine.’

‘I don’t know. I mean, I have the shop now and I’m meeting the bank manager this week to discuss where we go from here… I’m going to be too busy for much else.’

‘Katie, you need to live too,’ Dad said as he took hold of Mum’s hand.

‘I appreciate what you’re saying,’ I said. ‘I just need time to decide what to do.’

Sam returned with Jack and Holly and they said their goodbyes to my parents then he put the children and the dogs into his car. I waited on the doorstep for him and when he came back for me, he wrapped an arm around my shoulder. I leant into him, enjoying his warmth through our coats and breathing deeply of his scent, not shy at all about the fact that my parents were right there watching us. I wanted to stay there all evening. It felt safe and secure and in that moment I longed for that feeling more than anything else.

‘So are you looking forward to seeing the Marvel team in their spandex?’ He cupped my cheek with his large right hand and heat flooded through me. I fought the urge to turn and kiss his palm. ‘The kids want you to come.’ He gestured at his car and two small faces grinned at me through the back window. I realised that I’d driven past his car earlier and not even registered it. I should be careful driving around in such as haze. Or perhaps I needed to get my eyes tested.

‘I couldn’t possibly disappoint them,’ I said, relieved that he hadn’t let me off the hook too easily. ‘I’m quite excited about it actually.’

‘Follow me home and you can come with us to drop the dogs off first. The screening’s at five.’

‘Sounds good to me. But I want popcorn. Lots of it.’

‘You can have ice cream, nachos, chocolates…whatever you want, Katie Warham. Anything at all.’ He grinned then released me and I watched as he opened the door and climbed into his car.

Anything at all? Well I think that I want you, Sam. And Jack and Holly and the dogs and the life we could share. It might be ridiculous and it might be sudden by some people’s standards but it just felt right. Sam had always been there. Perhaps not within touching distance but there, in the background of my life, waiting. Okay, not necessarily waiting for me – as he was going through his own highs and lows – but waiting for life to provide him with opportunities. Possibly happiness. Definitely hope.

I waved at him, then hurried over to my car and started the engine.

I actually felt that there could be happiness in my future. And there was nothing wrong with allowing myself to hold on to hope. Especially when it came in the form of a six-foot hunk with soft brown eyes, dark hair and a heart made of gold.

Chapter 17

I couldn’t tell if the movie was any good because I barely watched it. When we went into the cinema, Holly insisted on going into the row first then I was instructed to sit next to her. Next came Sam then Jack. We’d stocked up on sweet and salted popcorn, hotdogs, pick ’n’ mix and those huge cups of Coke with a plastic lid and a straw. I munched my way through the adverts, chatting and giggling with Holly as we did our vampire impressions with candy fake teeth, then our best shocked faces as we sucked on sour cherries. Being with Sam and the children was a lot of fun.

When the cinema went dark and the movie began, Holly took my hand over the arm of the chair. Her tiny fingers were sticky and warm. She was the sweetest little girl and Sam was doing such a good job of bringing her and Jack up. But I sensed that she missed having a mother around. Well, what little girl wouldn’t? I mean, with all of her faults at least Esther had been there. I hadn’t had a gaping mother-shaped hole or been left wondering what it would be like to have a mum. Sometimes I’d wished that Esther would just bugger off but only in my darkest moments.

I used my free hand to manoeuvre my drink to my mouth, as well as to shovel sweets in when I craved them. But the characters on screen might just as well have not been there for all the notice I took. My left elbow was resting on the armrest on Sam’s side and every so often his arm or his elbow would brush up against mine. It might not have been deliberate but it was delicious all the same. Feeling his warmth and his huge male body so close to mine gave me a sense of security, of being a part of something. I watched him from the corner of my eye as he laughed along with Jack and admired how the light from the screen lit up his eyes and highlighted the creases of his smile and his bobbing Adam’s apple. He was everything a woman could want. Totally desirable, sweet and kind.

The last twenty minutes of the movie were predictably emotional and I held my breath as Holly climbed down from her booster seat and came to stand in front of me.

‘Can I sit on your lap?’ she whispered.

‘Of course,’ I replied, taking her under the arms and lifting her up.

I caught Sam grinning at me as Holly settled back against me and reached around to take hold of my hair. As she sat there, warm and contented, she twirled my hair in her sticky fingers, over and over, seeking comfort from its curls. The movement made me sleepy and I rested my head against the headrest. If this was motherhood, it was pretty damned fine. Who wouldn’t enjoy a family cinema trip?

All too soon, the credits rolled and it was time to pick up our things and go. I rubbed Holly’s arm but she didn’t move.

‘Holly. Time to go now, sweetie.’

She turned in my arms and wrapped her hands around my neck. As she pressed her face into me, I could feel that her cheeks were wet.

‘Holly?’

‘She always cries at happy endings,’ Jack explained.

I glanced at Sam and he nodded, his eyes twinkling.

‘Oh, Holly, it’s okay, my darling.’ I kissed the top of her soft hair. ‘Happy endings are a good thing.’

She peered up at me. ‘I know. They just make me hurt sometimes. In here.’ She pointed at her chest.

‘They do that to everyone. It’s fine to feel that way.’ I smiled at her and wiped her tears away with my thumbs. ‘Come on. I’ll tell you a story in the car.’

‘You will?’ Her face lit up.

‘Sure.’

We gathered our coats and litter, then left. I hadn’t taken much notice of the film but I had learnt more about this lovely family. Perhaps I was getting in too deep and this would end up hurting us. I mean, there was no guarantee that it would work out, but aren’t all relationships a risk? Sam and I could, of course, just remain friends and keep going like this.

But I wasn’t sure that being just his friend, or some kind of honorary aunt to Jack and Holly, would be enough.

***

‘Katie?’ Sam glanced at me as he negotiated his way out of the multiplex car park.

‘Yes?’ I sat forward to listen as I was in the back with Holly.

‘Would you like to come have some supper with us?’

Would I?

‘Please say yes, Katie.’ Holly squeezed my hand.

‘Yes, please. That would be lovely.’ At least the going back to their house would be. I wasn’t sure that I could fit anything on top of all the sweets and popcorn. My jeans were already cutting into my belly.

Sam drove us back to his house, which was a five-minute drive from my parents’ in Sevenoaks. When we’d brought the dogs back earlier, I’d been surprised when he drove onto one of those relatively new housing estates and I’d thought he must live in a new build but when he reached the end of the one street he kept on going. He’d carried on through a country lane before taking a sharp right onto a gravel driveway.

The car crunched over the gravel now and he pulled up in front of a very pretty and very old cottage with an authentic thatched roof. It looked like it had come out of a picture book about the Tudors. When I’d come back here earlier, I’d had to force my mouth closed as he’d given me the quick tour of downstairs. It was truly beautiful. Eclectic. A mixture of old and new furniture, colourful throws over sofas and chairs, real wooden floors in some rooms and flagstones in others. The floors in the lounge and study were warmed up with bright rag rugs and the lounge boasted a huge stone fireplace that had obviously been there since the house was built. The ceilings were low and bore heavy dark-wood beams but the large windows prevented it from feeling claustrophobic.

The kitchen was part of an extension on the rear of the building, and Sam told me he’d had to get special permission to build it as the house was listed, so the new section had to be built in the same fashion and decorated identically. The walls were painted buttercup yellow and the tiles around the oak units were Mexican with a variety of colours and patterns. A large red Aga took pride of place and was surrounded by an oak mantel. A pine table and chairs sat before French doors that opened out onto a rather spacious walled garden.

Sam let the dogs out and the children ran off to remove shoes and coats and go to the bathroom.

‘Tea? Coffee? Wine?’ Sam opened the fridge and pulled out a cold bottle of Pinot Grigio.

I eyed the bottle and licked my lips. It was tempting. But I had to drive later and—

‘You can always stay over.’ He grinned and ran a hand through his dark hair.

‘Oh. I’m uh…not sure. What about…’ I gestured at the ceiling as what sounded like a herd of cattle thundered across it just above our heads.

‘You can take the spare room. It’s where family and friends always stay.’

The spare room. Of course. What did I expect? That Sam would have me stay over in the bed he’d shared with his wife? I shuddered. When his kids were here? He wasn’t some kind of irresponsible and callous idiot.