Winter Kisses (A 3:AM Kisses Novella Book 2) (7 page)

Laney runs her hands down my back and rounds out to the front. She strokes my dick, guiding it. Her other hand gently grazes my balls until the need to have her takes over.

I reach back onto the dresser in what’s proving to be more of a ceremonious maneuver since I know for a fact I don’t have any protection lying around—there hasn’t been a reason, and, now, I feel like an idiot for having the girl of my dreams ready and willing, and here I am, unable to dive in like I want.

“Crap.” I lie back on the bed, disbelieving that my wildest dreams are about to come crashing to an end because I can’t for the life of me remember where the hell I have a missile shield stored.

“What’s the matter?” She props up on her elbow and traces my body out with her eyes.

“I’m sort of out of raincoats.”

“Is that all?”

“That’s a pretty big deal.” I give a bleak smile. A part of me is hoping she’ll surprise me with the fact she’s on the pill, and I can dive in anyway. I’m starting to get the shakes, like a starving man who’s crawled on his belly through the long, hot desert only to find a glass divide between him and the gourmet meal he’s been salivating after.

“It’s not a big deal.” She lands her finger over my chest and creates a giant letter S as she sizzles her way down to my weeping dick. “I’ll take care of you.”

I pull her onto me and feel the weight of her sweet tits over my chest.

She lowers her head until our lips collide. Laney chases me with her tongue as I pour all of my affection straight into her mouth.

I pull back and steady my gaze over hers.

“I’m insanely, deliriously, outright fucking crazy in love with you. Laney”—I swallow hard because I’m going there—“take me back.”

If she did—if we could work things out—it would make what she’s about to do that much sweeter. Just knowing she loves me, that she’s willing to open her world to me once again would bring Christmas a little early, not that she hasn’t already done that. I guess it would be the star on the tree.

A lone tear falls from her cheek to mine.

“I…” She takes a breath as if I caught her off guard. “I need some time to think.” She presses her lips together hard. “You know what happened, Ryder. You were there. This is complicated and…” She buries a kiss over my neck, and now I want nothing more than to end this conversation. Laney’s chest bucks with silent tears. She gives a hard sniff as if she were checking her emotions.

“It’s all right.” I run my hand over her smooth hair and take in her vanilla scent. There’s no way it’s all right, but the last thing I want is to upset her any more than I already have. I should have known she wasn’t going to fall over me with an enthusiastic yes. This was far too twisted, too many people have trampled between us, and as much as I hate to admit it, she’s right. This is complicated.

Laney trails slow, blistering kisses straight down my body. She runs her fingers across my chest as if she were mapping out the landscape. I want to tell her she doesn’t have to do this—that given five minutes in the shower I should have things under control, but I don’t. The truth is, I want this from her, from her hands, her mouth. Nothing compares to the way she loves me, and for damn sure not one part of my body can substitute what Laney can give me.

Her mouth lands over the tip, and I let out a heated breath.

“Right there.” I hike up on my elbows and bend my head back just taking in the sweet feel of her lips. Laney opens up and devours me, carefully raking her fiery tongue over my body as she slips me back out of her mouth. She dives down and wraps her lips tight around me, sucking as if she were about to inhale me, dick first, into her body. “
Shit
,” I belt it out, and the room vibrates.

Laney drops down, running her tongue over my balls, and my stomach clenches.

“Yeah that.” My chest pumps with a dry laugh.

I don’t ever remember her employing these moves. She brings her hand to the party and works her fingers over me in a place where fingers or any other body parts are never allowed. I try to deflect her, and she catches me by the wrist. Her mouth melts back over me, riding me in a wave of insanity, and I’m about to lose it.

Laney works her magic while doing her best to suck me down to nothing. She takes me in all the way to the base, and I fucking lose it. Laney doesn’t move, she just drinks me down like some tropical cocktail, and I lurch forward with a roar ripping from my lungs until the shakes subside.

Laney climbs up and falls back next to me on the mattress. We just stare up at the ceiling for moment, wondering what the hell just happened.

“Come here.” I pull her in, and she collapses her heated chest to mine. “You okay?” I know for fact she’s never swallowed before. At least not me, and I hope to God she hasn’t been practicing while we’ve been apart. God knows a year of celibacy nearly killed me, but just the thought of Laney loving anyone else with that body would test my mortality and the mortality of the one she slept with.

“Why wouldn’t I be okay?” She rakes her fingers through my hair with a renewed tenderness. All of the primal tendencies she held just a few minutes ago have been quenched at least that’s what I’m hoping. “I’m fine.”

“Thank you.” I touch my finger to her cheek and trace out her immaculate bone structure, her pillow-soft lips.

“For what?” She buries a kiss in my palm.

“For loving me.”

“Who said I loved you?” She dips her chin, never taking her gaze off mine.

“You didn’t have to tell me.” I pull her in, and she twists until we’re spooning. “You showed me.”

Laney sighs into me, pulling my arm tight across her waist.

Here we were after thoroughly loving each other—mostly—after tears and every emotion known under the sun, and we were pushing through. Riding the edge of the night with our bodies tangled as one.

Nothing could be better.

Nothing could ever come close.

Laney

The sun filters in through a crack in the curtains, and I startle because I can’t make out the layout of my bedroom. I give a series of rapid blinks, dizzy and bleary-eyed at my foreign surroundings. The dresser is bigger…and why is the door on the other side of the room? I lean up on my elbow and squeeze my eyes shut tight once again until the room warbles in and out of existence. The door, the dresser, the man breathing heavily next to me—

I seize the sheet over my naked body and slide in the opposite direction a good two feet.

Crap! I let out a little squeal as I give a one-eyed stare over at the penis slinger snoring next to me. Last night comes crashing back like an avalanche of spinning Christmas trees and blowjobs, and I groan as I dread to face my new reality. I glance at him with his dark rumpled hair, his strong wide back turned toward me.

Dear God let that be Ryder.

I hope to God I didn’t hallucinate last night with some not-so-close second and pretended to be having sex with my ex while sucking down the man juice of some drunk fifty year old I picked up at the Black Bear.

I kick him in the thigh, and he obediently rolls over exposing the fact that the penis slinger snoring next to me is very much sexier-than-hell Ryder Capwell, and thankfully so, or I’d have to tiptoe the hell out of here while clutching my costume like a toddler.

It all comes back to me with perfect clarity. Whiskey—that stupid,
stupid
auction.

I glance over at him once again. There he is, in his immaculate state of early morning duress. I’m guessing that tent peg lifting the sheets at his crotch is exactly how he plans on saying good morning.

My fingers glide to my throbbing forehead and I sigh because, for one, I’m not safely tucked in Prescott Hall—hell, I’m nowhere near Whitney Briggs, and a wild fear grips me. I could call a cab but I don’t have my wallet. I could call Baya or Roxy, but I don’t have my phone, and God knows I don’t have anybody’s number memorized.

Ryder turns into me, and his hands swipe for my waist. Something in the motion—in that subconscious act brings back all those old feelings, and I break. I scoot in and let his arm find me, scooping me next to him like I belong there. His snoring ceases as he latches on and the touch of a smile glides over his lips. I want to say something, kiss him, or wrap my hand around that early morning greeting of his that’s scraping against my thigh. But if I remember correctly, we’re down one protective hedge and about a fifth of whiskey.

Then on cue, my head begins to throb as if the sun itself had detonated in my skull. I rub my temples for a moment.

“No, no,
no
,” I moan.

“Yes, yes,
yes
.” He pulls me in by the small of the back until my chest crushes against his and lands a hot morning kiss over my lips. I don’t hesitate to take more than he’s giving and plunge my tongue into his searing mouth. What the hell, I’ve already crossed every imaginary line in the sand, and, somehow, over the course of the night my heart thawed out, and all of those wonderful feelings I once had filled in the reserve like a bright spring morning.

Ryder tastes sweet, juicy, and something about the way he’s manhandling my boobs has me panting for a reprisal of just about every activity we shared last night.

I pull back, my lids heavy with a renewed lust for him.

“I don’t think I ever want to leave.” I bite down over my lip to stave away the tears because in reality very few things have changed, and yet we’ve unwittingly opened another door.

“Lucky for you because I wasn’t planning on letting you go.” He warms my arms with his hands. “Stay.” He pleads with those midnight blue eyes. “Let me cook you breakfast. I make a mean omelet, and I have every intention on making those Mickey Mouse pancakes you love so damn much.”

I give a little laugh as I tighten my grip around his waist. “I can’t stay. I have rehearsal at noon.”

“Tell them you’re sick.”

“That’s bad luck.”

“Tell them you’re too busy getting your insides licked, and they can all go to hell—starting with Guy Richards.”

“Ryder!” I slap him across the chest as a laugh gets buried in my throat. “That’s crude.”

“Yeah, but you loved it.” He lays his head over mine and snuggles into me.

“I did.” I sigh into him. “I loved a lot of things you did—that you said last night.”

I run my fingers through his dark hair, and our eyes lock. Ryder Capwell has an entire ocean hostage in those deep navy eyes.

“Let me love you, Laney. Don’t walk out of my life again.” His Adam’s apple rises and falls. “I can’t handle it. I need you here just to breathe.”

Crap.

I swallow hard. I’d like to think it were as simple as me saying yes—that suddenly things would change for the better, but the reality is, all those old issues would be right there waiting for us again. They’re haunting us even now, waiting for us to just try and make things right so they can hack us to pieces all over again.

“Tell me what to do, Laney.” He lets out an exasperated breath. “Tell me who to cut out of my life, and I’ll do it.”

I dart my gaze into him as his words settle in my stomach like battery acid.

“I never asked you to cut anybody out of your life.” I hack the words through the air, jagged and careless. They slice right through any magic last night might have carried and expose this morning for what it is, the day after something that we’ll soon regret.

Ryder spikes up on his elbows, his features soften.

“That’s not what I meant.” His dimples dig in and out as he runs his tired gaze over me. “I’m serious, Laney. I’m in this for the long haul. There is nobody else that I care to keep in my life if it means I can’t have you. Don’t push me away.” He wraps his arm around me and lands a kiss over my shoulder. “Just let me love you.”

It’s tempting. I’m caving I can feel it, but that residual anger surges like a tidal wave.

“If you want this so bad, why make me choose who you’re going to spend your time with?” I shake my head while doing a quick scan of the floor for my dress. At this point I couldn’t care less about my underwear. Hell, I might even call the shoes a loss.

He secures his arm around my waist before I can even think of rolling out of bed. I glance back at him. Ryder is so damn handsome in this early morning light with his rumpled hair, his laser blue eyes pressing into me with something just this side of an intrusion. His cheeks are peppered with stubble, and it gives him that undeniably gorgeous look. Ryder Capwell is sex on a stick. Any woman on the face of the earth would give her right boob to be in my position.

“I’ve already chosen who I want to spend my life with.” A tiny dimple appears on his left cheek. “It’s you, Laney, it’s always been you. I’m sorry for every stupid thing I’ve said and done. From the bottom of my heart I beg your forgiveness.” His features harden as if he’s holding back tears.

A moment of silence stops up the air. Here it is, the fork in the relationship road. Go with Ryder or go home and hope you have enough AA batteries to reenact those wild stunts his tongue pulled off last night. Our eyes latch, and he winces as if pleading. My heart melts at the sight of him, at the thought of him wanting me just as bad as I want him.