Winston (BBW Bear Shifter Wedding Romance) (Grizzly Groomsmen Book 3) (45 page)

“I guess I’m used to it. I’ve been taking care of kids for about six years now.”

“I guess by the time you have your own, you’ll be all set.”

Oh no. How should she answer that? She hesitated too long. She said, “Yeah, I guess so.” But then she felt bad for lying.

“What are your plans for today?” he asked.

“Nothing much. I’m just hanging out at home. Got some laundry to do. You know, fun stuff.”

“You’re home now?” he asked.

“Yup. What are you up to?”

“Just driving home. I’ll be making a stop soon.”

“Oh, okay, well I’ll let you go then. Maybe we can talk later?”

“That sounds great,” he said. “Talk to you soon.”
 

She helped Logan get up and go to the bathroom, then settle back onto the couch. “Do you want any soup or crackers or anything?”

He shook his head and pulled his stuffed bear closer to his chest. He always got quiet when he was sick. He’d usually just watch TV and hold his favorite stuffed animal. The trashcan was close to his head so that he could grab it in a hurry if he needed it. She hoped he was done throwing up, though.

She put a load of laundry in the washer and sat back down, picking up her book. Logan wanted to watch his favorite movie for the hundredth time and she needed something else to do besides hear the same dialogue over and over.

She’d just turned the page when there was a knock at her door. She wasn’t expecting anyone, but maybe Rachel was coming to check on them.
 

Harmony opened the door to find Beck standing on her porch, a pizza in his hands.

“I thought maybe I’d surprise you with some dinner,” he said, grinning at her.

Her eyes went wide and her stomach turned. Maybe she’d be needing the trashcan next. This was not how this was supposed to happen. She wanted to wait longer before telling him. Get to know him better. But now he was here and there was no way to hide the truth any longer.

“Hi Beck.” She glanced behind her into the house. Logan must still be on the couch. “I, umm… didn’t expect you.”

“That’s what makes it a surprise. Is it a bad time?”

“No, it’s not that. I… Well, just come on in.”

She stepped aside and let him in, then she led him to the kitchen.

“Do you always watch kids’ movies when you’re home in the evenings?” he asked, nodding toward the living room where the loud, cheerful singing was coming from.

“Well, here’s the thing, Beck.” She twisted her fingers together and glanced toward the living room. “My son is in the other room watching TV. He’s the one that’s sick.”

Beck’s face went slack and still. He stared at her for a long moment. “Your son?”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but you seemed freaked out by kids and I’ve had some really bad experiences with guys not calling again after they found out, and I really liked you, so I guess I was hoping that when you got to know me better, you’d be okay with it or something.” She covered her face with her hands. “I don’t know. I’m sorry. I should have told you.”

“Oh, well, it’s… Umm, it’s okay, I guess.”

“You guess?”

“Well, I don’t know anything about kids. I don’t really know what to do with them.”

“You don’t have to do anything really. Just be there and hang out with them. They’re people, too.”

He nodded absently. “They seem like they need so much attention and… I don’t know. Guidance? What do you call it when you have to yell at them all the time?”

Harmony felt like she could cry. This was not going well at all. He really was freaked out about kids in general. Was there anything she could do about that? Any way to make it better for him?
 

“He’s sick, today, so he’s just watching TV,” she said. “That’s not too hard, right? We can just eat some pizza and watch TV. It’s not scary.”

“Okay.”

But he seemed really unsure. “Unless you just want to go. I’d understand if you can’t handle it.”

“It’s not that I can’t handle it, I’ve just never had to before.”

“Want to come meet him?”

“Sure, I guess.”

She walked into the living room and Logan looked over at her. “Hey, Logan, this is my friend, Beck.”

“Hi.” Logan held up his hand, but didn’t lift his head or get up.

“Hey.” Beck held up his hand back.

“Want some pizza? Beck brought some for us.”

“Okay.” Logan pushed himself up so he was sitting. His hair was disheveled and sticking out in all directions. His face was red and sweaty, his eyes still glassy.

Harmony looked back at Beck. “Want to grab the pizza?”

He walked back into the kitchen, then returned with the pizza. He set it down on the table and sat on the couch beside her, the opposite side from Logan.

Beck and Harmony each picked up a slice, then Logan reached over for one. Beck watched Logan eating. Logan shoved most of the slice into his mouth.

“Hey, slow down,” Harmony said. “You’re going to make yourself sick again.”

Logan pulled the slice back out of his mouth. Beck’s eyes widened. Then, Logan proceeded to roll up the slice and bite the end of it, taking little bites of his pizza roll and chewing loudly.

“Sorry,” Harmony said quietly. “Boys can be gross eaters when they’re little. One of my past charges used to pull the cheese off, then suck off the sauce, then break the crust into little pieces and wrap the cheese around the little pieces.”

“And you just let them do that?”

She shrugged. “Kids have to be able to explore the world and learn. I try to let them be themselves as much as possible. Unless it’s going to hurt someone or themselves or make a huge mess, then I usually let them. You can’t yell at them for everything.”

Beck was still watching Logan, who now wiped his mouth on his pajama sleeve, sending a smear of red sauce to cover the little trains.

Beck finished his slice quickly and stood. “I’m going to get going.”

“Already?” She stood, too.

“Well, he’s sick, so I don’t want to catch it or anything. And I’m sure he’s not really, umm, up for guests or whatever.”

“Okay, sure. I don’t want you to get sick.”

He nodded and walked to the door. Harmony followed him.

“Just tell me now if you’re not going to call,” she said. “I don’t want to sit around waiting if you can’t do the kid thing.”

He stopped and turned to look at her. The sun was setting and the light coming from behind him was golden orange. It made his hair glow yellow, like it was on fire. And that made the rest of him look darker and even more handsome. She really wanted him to be okay with Logan. To take a chance on them both and see what it was like. To give them a chance and see that kids didn’t have to be scary.

“I think… I’m just not sure, Harmony. I’ve never been around kids or dated anyone with them. I just need time to process this and think.”

“Sure.” She gave him a sad smile. “If you could just let me know either way, that’d be great. Like I said, there’s nothing worse than waiting for a call that’s never going to come.”

“I will. I’ll let you know. I hope he gets better.” He started to walk away.

“Hey Beck?”

He stopped and turned back to her again.

“Thanks for the pizza and for stopping by. It was great to see you for a few minutes, even if it did turn out to be a disaster. I’ve been really enjoying getting to know you.”

“Me too.” He let his gaze linger for a long moment before finally turning away and getting into his car.

Harmony dreaded hearing her phone ring. She knew it would be Beck telling her he couldn’t do the kid thing. How could he ever be okay with it after the way he reacted? But would he even bother calling, or would he just never call again? She didn’t know him well enough to know for sure.

Days went by and she didn’t hear from him. She’d decided he wasn’t going to call after all. How long did he really need to process? But, she waited. She waited a whole week since he’d shown up at her house. When she still didn’t hear from him, she picked up the phone.

“Hey Harmony,” he said.

“Hey. So, you didn’t call like you said you would, so I’m assuming you decided you couldn’t do the kid thing and couldn’t bring yourself to call to tell me?” She tried to keep her tone light, but she was angry and frustrated and deeply disappointed. She’d really wanted this to work and she really liked him.

“I’m sorry. I should have called. But to be honest, I’m still not really sure. I mean…” He let out a long sigh. “I really like you, Harmony. But kids just overwhelm me. I don’t know what to do with them.”

“Okay, well how much time have you spent with any?”

“Not much.”

“And don’t you think that maybe that’s why you feel overwhelmed and like you don’t know what to do? If you spent more time with kids, you’d see that they’re really not that bad.”

“What if I do something wrong?” he asked. “What if somehow I don’t know what to do and one of them gets hurt?”

“Beck. Kids aren’t like some delicate flower where if you put them too close to a draft, they’ll die. They’re just people. You manage to be around your friends without hurting them, right? It’s really not any different. You know how to keep yourself alive. The same principles apply. Didn’t you ever have a pet?”

“We had a dog when I was a kid.”

“Well, there you go,” she said. “You feed the dog and give it water and make sure it doesn’t run out into the road. Except with a kid it’s even easier because once they can talk, they’ll even tell you when they’re hungry.”

“I know it’s easy for you and this probably seems really ridiculous, but it just freaks me out. I’ve been anxious all week thinking about this. Every time I picture myself spending time around your son, something goes wrong in my mind.”

“It’s only easier for me because I’ve spent so much time with them. When you first got the bees, were you an instant expert? Did you keep them all alive perfectly? Or did you maybe have some figuring out to do? Some things to learn about beekeeping?”

“I read a bunch of books, so I knew some stuff. But I guess I did learn as I went.”

“If you really want to, there are plenty of books on kids. And you have me. I can help you, especially when it comes to Logan.” She was pacing the room now, an idea coming to her, and hope daring to well in her chest. “I have an idea. Just listen, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Come and hang out with Logan and me. We’re going hiking next weekend. Come with us. You don’t have to worry about taking care of him or anything because I’ll be there. You don’t have to do anything except maybe talk to him. Leave all the parenting up to me and see what happens when you just hang out and get to know him.”

“Where?”

“At the state park. They have some nice trails and we’ve gone a few times. You do hike, don’t you?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Okay then. You’ll come? See what it’s like? You can always change your mind later and run away and never talk to me again.”

“I don’t want to do that, Harmony. I want to get to know you.”

“Then what’s your hold up?” She squeezed her fist and eyes shut hoping he’d agree. She waited and finally, he answered.

“Okay. I’ll give it a try and see. I guess I did always picture having my own kids someday. Not any time soon, but even if I want them eventually, I’ll have to get used to them.”

A smile spread across her face. “Perfect. You’ll see. It’s really not so bad being around them.”

“I hope you’re right.”

She laughed. “They can even be a lot of fun, you know. Logan might surprise you.”

“I sure hope so.”

Beck knocked on Harmony’s door at 10 a.m. sharp. She pulled open the door with a huge smile to hide her anxiety.

“Morning!” she said.

“Morning.” He stepped inside, a small gym bag hanging from one hand, and followed her to the living room, where Logan was tying his shoes.

“I’m just going to run to the bathroom real quick,” Harmony said. “Logan, why don’t you show Beck your new truck?”

Harmony dashed upstairs and used the bathroom, then snuck back down to listen to what was happening in the living room.
 

“It does this, too!” Logan said and lifted up the back of the truck to show him how it tipped. “What’s your favorite kind of truck?”

“Umm, I guess a pickup truck?”

“Do you have a pickup truck?”

“No,” Beck said. “But my brother does.”

“Cool! What color is it?”

“Red.”

“I like red. Do you like red? What’s your favorite color?”

Beck paused a moment. “I guess blue. Is red your favorite?”

“Mmm, I like red a lot, but I think green is my favorite. Do you want to see my green truck?”

“Okay.”

Harmony smiled at the interaction. Logan had no problem talking to people and making new friends. And it seemed like he was going to make Beck his new friend. If Beck answered his questions and talked to him, hopefully he’d see how unscary kids could be.