Authors: Danielle Steel
“Is there a more senior member of your group?” he asked bluntly, and Jessie looked momentarily stunned. No one had ever asked her that before. But she could see how distraught he was over his daughter, and she understood. She spoke to him in a gentle voice.
“We are the senior members of the team,” she said, indicating Ben. “We’ve been in practice here for ten years.”
“What did you do before that?” he questioned, with eyes that probed hers.
“I was in a practice at Stanford Hospital, where I did my residency.” Ben appeared offended, but Jessie didn’t. She had kids the same age as Lily—Ben was a bachelor with no family.
“Where did you go to medical school?” Bill asked her with an intense, aggressive glare, and Jessie could see Ben bristle at the question.
“I went to Harvard,” she said quietly, as Ben objected.
“This is ridiculous. Dr. Matthews is one of the most respected neurosurgeons in the state. People send their spinal cord injury cases here to consult with her. I went to UCLA, if you want to know that too. And I did my residency at UCSF in San Francisco.” He was furious at Bill questioning their credentials, but Jessie didn’t blame him. She would have wanted to know the same things if someone was going to operate on one of her kids.
“I have a son almost the same age as Lily. I understand how you feel,” she said compassionately, but Bill wasn’t reassured. He was too frightened to be gentle or even civil with either of them.
“How do I know you know what you’re doing?” he asked her, and Jessie didn’t flinch.
“You don’t. You have to trust us. We don’t have a lot of choices here. I’d like to operate on Lily tonight, Mr. Thomas. If you’d rather wait until tomorrow to check out our credentials, I understand, but I think it will benefit Lily if we operate sooner. The swelling could get worse, which is liable to do further damage to her future motor function.”
“What does that mean?” He narrowed his eyes at her, and he did not look pleasant.
“We don’t know how extensive the damage is. She has a spinal cord injury, but the scans and X-rays don’t tell us everything we need to know, about nerve damage, for instance. If her injury is ‘complete,’ she won’t walk again.” She knew she had to be honest with him. He looked as though he might faint. “If it’s incomplete, we have a chance. I’m hoping it’s incomplete, but I won’t know until we get in and take a look. But we can wait until tomorrow morning if you prefer. I’d rather not, but I defer to your wishes.” She was putting the full burden of responsibility on him.
“And if you don’t know what you’re doing, you cripple her for life, and she’s paralyzed. Is that it?” he said angrily. But he was angry at the fates that had allowed this to happen, the same fates that had betrayed him before, and now it was Lily. There were tears bulging in his eyes, so Jessie forgave him his harsh words. Ben didn’t and had a strong urge to grab him and shake him, which he resisted.
“Let’s assume I know what I’m doing,” she said in a calm voice.
“Is her life at risk in the surgery?”
“We don’t have a choice here,” she explained simply. “The only variable is when. And that’s up to you, Mr. Thomas.” He nodded and ran a hand through his hair with a look of anguish.
“I swear, if you kill her, I’ll kill you,” he said and seemed as though he meant it. Ben was about to intervene, but Jessie stopped her partner with a quelling glance. She was not afraid of Bill Thomas and could handle him herself.
“I understand that’s how you feel,” she said firmly. She had a soothing voice, but Bill was beyond that now. He was crazed with fear for his little girl. “Why don’t you think about it for a while? I’ll be here. I’m not going anywhere.” She and Ben left the waiting room and went back to check on Lily, who was remaining stable in poor condition, and then they went to the cafeteria for coffee. Jessie had a feeling it was going to be a very long night. She wanted to call Tim and see how he was doing, but she also wanted to know her plans before she did.
“How can you let that asshole talk to you like that?” Ben said in a fury, handing her a cup of coffee. He was incensed.
“He’s a father, Ben. She’s his only kid, according to the chart. He lost his wife. He’s terrified he’s going to lose his kid, or that she’ll be paralyzed. Maybe you have to be a parent to understand.” She took a sip of the steaming coffee, and they agreed that the hospital made the worst coffee on the planet, but they drank it anyway—they always did.
“He threatened to kill you!” Ben said, with all his feathers ruffled. “He acts like we just got out of med school.” And then he laughed. “I think you impressed the hell out of him when you said you went to Harvard. What did he expect? You got your degree on the Internet?”
“He’s desperate,” she said, as they finished their coffee and went back upstairs. Bill was waiting for them outside Lily’s cubicle in the ICU. There was no change, and Jessie didn’t expect there to be until after surgery. It was Lily’s only hope.
“All right, you can do it,” Bill growled at her. “You can operate on my daughter, but I swear, if …” He didn’t finish the sentence this time, and Jessie nodded.
“I’ll get the paperwork drawn up.”
“When are you going to do the surgery?” he asked nervously. He would gladly have given his life for Lily’s at that moment, or any other.
Jessie had already checked and knew there was an operating room available. She glanced at her watch. “We need time to prep her. I’d say in about two hours. I want to review the scans and X-rays and tests again with Dr. Steinberg,” she said, looking at Ben, and he nodded.
“How long will it take?”
“It’s hard to say. About eight hours, maybe longer. It could be as long as twelve. It depends on what we find once we go in. It’s a delicate procedure.” He hated the choice he had made to use an unknown doctor, with no time to check her out. But Ben was right—Harvard and Stanford had impressed him. He just hoped he had made the right decision. He didn’t want to take the risk of waiting longer, particularly if waiting could cause more damage. He was putting Lily’s life in this woman’s hands. “We’ll do everything we can,” she reassured him again.
“Thank you” was all he said in a trembling voice, and went back to the waiting room, as Jessie went to look at the X-rays with Ben, and a nurse drew up the papers. She took them to Bill on a clipboard a few minutes later, and he signed them with tears rolling down his cheeks. The nurse took the clipboard from him, without a word.
Jessie sent Tim a text message while she consulted with Ben. “Patient in extremis. Crazed father. Surgery in an hour. See you tomorrow. Love, J.” His answer came back a minute later.
“Good luck. I love you, T.” She smiled and slipped her phone back into her pocket, and hoped that Tim had taken Jimmy bowling, but she didn’t want to write back and ask. She and Ben had a lot to discuss before the surgery. He would be assisting, and they formulated a surgical plan as the trauma ICU team prepared Lily for surgery.
Bill sat in the waiting room, feeling like he was living a nightmare. He went to see Lily just before they rolled her away to the operating room. He bent and kissed her forehead as his tears fell on her face. Jessie was already upstairs waiting for her. Bill went outside to get some air for a few minutes after they took Lily to the OR. He stood in the parking lot, crying in the night. It was freezing cold, his tears stung his eyes and cheeks. Minutes later he nearly slipped on a patch of ice as he walked back into the hospital. It was the worst night of his life. He lay down on the couch in the waiting room and closed his eyes. He was wide awake and all he could think of was Lily. He hoped the neurosurgeon knew what she was doing and could repair Lily’s injuries. He lay there all night willing her to live and walk again.
Chapter 4
Adam, Heather, and Jimmy were all home for dinner when Chris left for his date. He stopped to say goodbye to his father in the kitchen, as he was taking two frozen pizzas out of the oven. One of them was slightly burned. And they all complained about the burned pizza, and went back upstairs until the rest of dinner was ready, while Tim put the pizzas back in the oven and lowered the heat, to keep them warm.
“Have fun, Dad,” Chris teased him, and Tim glanced at him with a pained grin.
“That’s not funny,” Tim said ruefully. “I guess I should have ordered pizzas.” And then he looked seriously at his son. “Drive carefully, it’s cold as hell out there tonight. The roads are going to be icy.” They all had snow tires on their cars, but he never liked Chris out driving in bad conditions, and the temperature had dropped dramatically that night. The day’s snowfall had turned to ice, but Chris was unconcerned.
“Becky’s mom is cooking dinner, and we’re going to stay at her place and watch a movie.” Tim knew she lived a few miles away, and was somewhat relieved, although Chris still had to get from their house to hers.
“Just be careful,” Tim warned Chris, and checked the pasta he was making, as Chris left. He heard the front door close and then started to put dinner on the table. He had made a salad to go with it, and the three younger children thundered down the stairs five minutes later when he called them, and took their usual seats at the kitchen table. Jimmy looked disappointed when he saw the pizzas and the pasta.
“Mom said she was going to make tacos,” he said, helping himself to a slice of pizza, as Adam took half a pizza for himself, and put a mound of pasta on his plate.
“She had to go to work,” Tim explained, passing the food around. They ate everything, and he said he’d drop Heather and Adam off as soon as they cleaned up the kitchen. “And we are going bowling,” he said to Jimmy, who grinned happily at his father. He looked pleased as he left the table, and they all went upstairs to get ready to leave. Tim got Jessie’s text then, and responded. He knew it was going to be a long night for her, and hoped she wasn’t too tired. She hadn’t even gotten dinner before she left, but that’s what their lives were like. One of them was always rushing off to work, to respond to an emergency. They were used to it, and so were the kids. It was relay-race parenting at its best.
Twenty minutes later Tim dropped Adam off at his friend’s house. He’d been invited to spend the night, so Tim didn’t need to pick him up, and Heather asked if she could stay at her friend’s too, so he and Jimmy were on their own for the night. They were at the bowling alley half an hour after they left home, and as soon as they got there and rented shoes, Jimmy asked for a Coke. Tim got one for himself too, and popcorn for both of them, and they started bowling, and Tim showed his son some of the fine points of the game. They had a good time and left the bowling alley at ten, which was a big treat for Jimmy to be out so late. And he loved being with his dad.
“I want to be a doctor like you one day, Dad,” Jimmy announced out of the blue as they walked back to the car, and Tim smiled at him.
“That’s a big decision,” he said, as he unlocked the car, and settled Jimmy on the backseat and put on his seat belt. It had gotten even colder while they were at the bowling alley, and the ground was slippery under his feet as he walked around to the driver’s seat. He was worrying about Chris again, and hoped he got home all right. He hated the fact that he was driving, and worried about him at night, and he knew Jessie did too. He smiled at Jimmy in the rearview mirror, started the car, and drove slowly out of the parking lot. He drove home cautiously, as he and Jimmy chatted. Jimmy was asking his father questions about medical school, while Tim kept his eyes on the road.
“Let’s make root beer floats when we go home,” Jimmy suggested, and Tim smiled at him again in the rearview mirror just as they pulled up to an intersection. The light was green, and Tim pulled ahead—as he felt the car start to skid on a patch of ice. He was concentrating on what he was doing and never saw the car barreling toward him at high speed. The teenage driver started to skid at the same time and hit the brakes, which made the skid worse. He lost control and hit Tim’s car at high speed as Jimmy watched in horror from the backseat. There was the fearsome sound of crashing metal as their car spun like a top and hit the stoplight, while the other car hit a tree. It was over in minutes, and the night was silent around them. There was no sound as Tim sat slumped forward, and Jimmy didn’t say a word. The air bag had opened, and Tim was burrowed into it, and all Jimmy could see was a trickle of blood running from his father’s ear.
Jimmy sat there unable to move or speak, and then he heard sirens, and policemen opened the car door and pulled him out. They sat him in the police car because it was so cold outside, and one of them asked him if he was okay, while the other officer checked their car and then the car that had hit the tree.
“I think my dad is hurt,” Jimmy said in a small, terrified voice as the officer knelt on the ground and talked to him.
An ambulance came a few minutes later, and the paramedics took him to the hospital to have him checked. “That’s the hospital where my mom and dad work,” he explained. He had already told them his name and address. “Can I wait for my dad to come with me? He’s hurt,” he said to one of the paramedics as tears slid down his cheeks.
“We’re going to bring him in a little while,” the paramedic explained. “We want to talk to him first about what happened,” he said, and Jimmy nodded. His head hurt, he had bumped it sideways on the car door when the other car hit them. Another ambulance screamed past them as they drove away. Both cars had been totaled, and the driver and the passenger in the front seat of the other car had been killed. So had Tim Matthews. But all Jimmy knew as they took him to the hospital was that his daddy would come later and his mom was already at the hospital, at work. He knew they’d pick him up there. He was scared and shaken up but sure his dad would come soon, and his mom would find them.
The paramedics from the ambulance took him into the emergency room on a stretcher, and the pediatrician on duty examined him, as the paramedics explained to the chief resident what had happened. He looked shocked when the ambulance driver told him Tim Matthews had been killed. He knew Tim and Jessie. He said nothing about it to Jimmy when he came to talk to him. He said they were going to call his mom to come and pick him up. He had a slight concussion, but no other damage. Jimmy had been lucky that night, a lot more so than his father. The resident went to get Jessie’s number from their roster then and called her cell, but all he got was voicemail. He didn’t want to say too much in a message, just left his name and cell phone number, and to please call him immediately. But she hadn’t returned his call by midnight, and they decided to admit Jimmy to pediatrics, for lack of a better solution.