WILLODEAN (THE CUPITOR CHRONICLES Book 1) (79 page)

“Oh, it does get worse Willodean.”  She said answering my thoughts.  “I’m afraid it does.  The heart is capable of hiding deep dreadful things.”
She sighed.  I felt the porch heave with her.   “We must enter the house and open the locked door.  The door to the room you denied was existed.  Everything you have learned will help you on your journey.” 

And then she was gone. Vanished as if she was never there.  My mouth felt lose and numb.  I wobbled, still locked up with her presence as if she crawled inside me to take her rightful place in a compartment made for her. The house inside me shook and rumbled as if caskets burst open and the bones had come to life to spill out secrets.  Fear unlike any fear I’ve felt before, ran through the rivers of my cold veins rendering me almost dead. 
Alive but dead.
  My throat felt rusty as if a coiled spring was making its way up and out.  Something awful had awakened inside me and it had every intention of coming out.  I fought it like a regurgitating omen.   Voices pithed and riveted me. 
It was her.
  “Don’t forget what you have learned Willodean. You are an adult but the child in you is alive and free for the first time.  We are one.  Adults cannot make it through life without the heart of a child.  You are not fully whole yet but to get there you must fight.  Fight like the Pugnator that you are.  You must find a way to rid the Cupitor’s of the Dresden curse.  It is your duty, your purpose.  Yes, you are one of them now, but it is as it should be.  Accept it and learn from it.  And always surrender to those things you don’t understand.  Room to breathe.  That is what salvation of the soul gives.  Room to gloriously breathe in freedom.  You will make mistakes for it is necessary in learning all there is to know.  The darkness activates our faith and trust and hope.  Remember your childhood.  If you’re going to go out, remember to
go out knowing!
  Try new things, don’t let fear keep you back.  Fear is not of God, remember that.  Take courage and step ahead.  No one can do what you were created to do.  No one.  You must seek it and find your centerpiece in this life and take your place.  Don’t look for the approval of others, only the King’s kisses.  He loves you and he cherishes you with gifts.  Don’t forget to use them.  And remember that life is sometimes sweeter when you get shit on.  You have to look at it with the right perspective and cultivate the soil not letting it get hard where seeds cannot spout.  And when it comes time to let go of those we love, don’t forget that love looks. It meets the gaze of God and let’s go.  Life is for the living so don’t forget to live.  Time is short.  None of us know how long we have on this earth.  Make sure you find your calling and live it out for this generation that you were born unto.  And remember that you have a new heart and a new purpose.  Find it.  Live it.  Share it.  New heart!  New heart!  You were washed in the waters of redemptive blood.  Bless the Lord, Amen.  When life becomes a wasteland—accept the invitation and dance.  Look for hope because it’s right around the corner.” 

And before she could finish my lips joined with hers.  We merged together until our hearts beat as one.  We were no longer separated, no longer the child and the adult. 
We were one.
Our gifted ears heard a familiar voice, a terrible, frightening voice.  It was the bloody president slashing the air and sending a racking chill up our spine.  “Forward!”  He said.  “Forward!” 

I shuddered in remembrance of all I had endured up until this point but in the midst of my fears I felt the embrace of the dirt dancers, both light and dark, as if they were my guiding force of protection, of peace in the midst of pain, of circumstances out of control.  I felt assured by the comfort of the little girl inside me that I could continue regardless of the circumstances ahead.  Our journey was new and we were together. 

“Forward!”  We yelled in unity.  It was our battle cry. We both braced ourselves for the journey ahead.  Together we were grit and courage, moons and stars, faith and hope.  Together, we are enough.  And together we start our journey to the past, a past hidden inside the mirror bin. 

End of Book One