William Shakespeare's The Empire Striketh Back (16 page)

—O, thou great man!

Thou art a hero, and thy tale shall e’er

Upon the lips of lesser folk be told.

Throughout all history it shall be writ:

“Behold, great Lando of Calrissian,

A man who ever serv’d his comrades well.”

[
aside:
] This stings my soul, yet no more can I do

Than hold my head up high, and plan what’s next.

[Exeunt Lando and guards.

My soldier, O my heart, thy fire doth blaze!

Thy skill with others ne’er doth cease t’amaze.

[Exeunt.

The time is ripe!

His time is nigh!

And soon he will be frozen!

We’ve never done—

This on a man—

But someone’s now been chosen!

A merry prank!

O shall it work?

Or will the man be dying?

What’er befall—

One thing is sure—

The pleasure’s in the trying!

[Exeunt Ugnaughts.

A perfect touch this is, to freeze Skywalker.

The plan is perfect—he who hath destroy’d

The Death Star shall be packag’d as a gift.

But now, let us inspect the details. Aye,

This crude contraption should be adequate

To put this vexing Skywalker on ice

Ere his deliv’ry to the Emperor.

Lord Vader—there’s a ship that doth approach,

An X-wing class.

—’Tis well. Watch Skywalker,

Allow his landing, let him hither come.

[Exit Imperial soldier.

Lord Vader, this facility has ne’er

Been us’d for humans, only carbon freezing.

If thou dost put him in this vast machine

It may not freeze him, but may mean his death.

This is a point that I consider’d not.

It seems, Calrissian, that thou dost learn

To be obedient unto thy Lord.

’Tis well, and it is in thine interest.

I do not wish him harm’d; the Emperor

Shall not enjoy a damag’d prize. So shall

Another stand for him to be a test—

We shall make Captain Solo undergo

The freezing process first, to test its pow’r.

My Lord, although his death would bring me

joy, it doth not pay. Jabba, like thine Emperor,

giveth no fees for damag’d goods. I prithee,

what shall happen if the man doth die? What

then, for Boba Fett?

Fear not, thy hunt shall have its bounty still.

Thou shalt be compensated if he dies.

[
to Chewbacca:
] I almost fully am restor’d to my

Old self, except thy work is not complete.

If thou had but attach’d my legs, I would

Not yet remain in this position rare!

I prithee, good Chewbacca, do recall

That I am thy responsibility—

Do not in any instance foolish be!

[
to Lando:
] Pray tell, O dearest friend, what is at hand?

Thou shalt be plac’d in total carbon freeze.

[
aside:
] The news of my grim fate doth chill my blood.

O, how I once thought Hoth was cold and bleak,

Yet now I pine for all its balmy plains.

Now, put him in!

—Auugh!

[Chewbacca fights guards and slays three of them.

—Chewie, stop, I pray!

Alas, yes, stop! I am not set to die!

This cannot help me, brave Chewbacca, nay.

I prithee, save thy strength to fight again.

Attend me now: the princess—thou must be

Her strength, her stay, her guard, her confidence:

These things that I no longer can bestow.

O, I do love thee wholly, Han.

—I know.

[Han is placed into the machine and emerges in a frozen block.

Pray, turn around, Chewbacca, let me see.

O, he in carbonite hath been encas’d—

He should be well protected, if he hath

Surviv’d the freezing process.

—Make report,

Calrissian, is he alive?

—He is,

And rests in perfect hibernation here.

The prize is thine now, bounty hunter Fett.

Take him to Jabba, with my gratitude.

[
aside:
] Aye, prize, indeed, and worthy of

the wait. To Tatooine I fly, with expectation

of payment great.

Reset the chamber for young Skywalker—

He shall the next a’freezing undergo.

Skywalker’s ship hath just made landing, Lord.

’Tis well, and be thou sure he hither comes—

Put him upon the path that leads him here.

[Exit Imperial soldier.

Calrissian, take thou the princess and

The Wookiee to my ship, and there remain.

Nay, thou didst say they would in Bespin dwell—

With me, under my supervision keen.

How canst thou bargain thus? ’Tis always thy

Side of the deal that doth improve. What shalt

Thou give to me to make this deal worthwhile?

Seek not to deal thyself a winning hand.

The Empire shall not e’er play by thy rules.

By my command, the deal is alterèd.

In all thy orisons thou mayst yet plead

The deal no further alterèd will be.

[Exeunt Darth Vader and Boba Fett. Chewbacca and Princess Leia sing a song of lament.

[
sings:
] Auugh, egh, auugh, auugh egh. Auugh,
muh, muh,

Egh, egh, auugh, egh, egh, muh, muh.

Auugh, auugh, egh, auugh, muh, egh, muh, muh,

Muh, wroshyr, wroshyr, wroshyr.

[
sings:
] Full fathom five my lover lies,

Within an icy tomb,

They say he lives, yet my heart dies,

Sing wroshyr, wroshyr, wroshyr.

[
sings:
] Egh, auugh, auugh, auugh, egh, egh, muh, muh,

Auugh, egh, egh, auugh, auugh, muh, muh.

Egh, auugh, auugh, grrm, auugh, egh, muh, muh,

Muh, wroshyr, wroshyr, wroshyr.

[
sings:
] Now he is gone, and so’s my life,

All frozen in a moment.

He my seiz’d lov’d one, I his strife,

Sing wroshyr, wroshyr, wroshyr.

[Exeunt.

Yes, now am I in Bespin—more fool I,

For though my feelings say this is the place,

I know not yet for certain if it be.

My friends I have not heard from, hide nor hair,

And yet the Force doth call in clearest tones

As if to say: “Here lies thy destiny!”

[Luke sees Bespin guards carrying Han Solo.

But wait, what’s this? Procession most sincere,

And with such maimèd rites? This doth betoken

The corpse they follow was an enemy.

These Bespin guards do make odd pallbearers;

This scene is verily a sign of ill.

Aha! It seems that I expected am—

This then must be the place my vision saw.

The Force hath led me here by prophet’s hand—

I shall pursue the fiend most ardently,

Belike he shall lead me unto my mates.

[Exeunt Luke and R2-D2.

These blasts and great commotion indicate

Skywalker’s recent advent unto Bespin.

This great upheaval his arrival makes

Doth grant me the diversion that I seek

To call upon my man-at-arms for help.

[Lando presses buttons on his wrist communicator.