Will to Live: Dispatches from the Edge of Survival (3 page)

The week-long stay in Asriamas was good for their health. Marcus, who had developed a bad case of trench foot, healed to the point that he felt able to go along with the others rather than return to La Paz. But while their physical health may have improved in Asriamas, the respite did nothing to improve group dynamics, which continued to deteriorate. By the time they set off down the Tuichi, they had separated into two factions: Kevin and Yossi; Karl and Marcus.

The decision to raft down the river was a critical one in the evolution of the journey. But despite its importance, the group didn’t seem to spend much mental energy discussing it—or its potential dangers. I suspect that by that point they were all tired and wanted to get home—a dangerous mindset to be in when you are taking on the jungle—and floating down the river seemed like a much friendlier option than hiking back to Apolo. It was an understandable position, but it set in motion the wheels of impending peril.

The group’s apparent inability to anticipate the danger of the river was no doubt exacerbated by the fact that its members were no longer getting along. This may explain why they never took the time to devise a plan should things go wrong and they get separated in the vastness of the Amazon. This small gesture—anticipating the worst-case scenario and preparing for it—is almost always overlooked in situations such as these.
What do we do if we get separated? Where will we meet? And when?
I have seen situations where discussions like these have even annoyed careless and impatient people, but the fact is that they can save lives. Yossi and his mates never had such a discussion, and they paid the ultimate price.

With the raft construction complete, the group was again ready to set out. They had ten pounds of rice, eight pounds of dried beans, a bunch of plantains, some vegetables, and spices. For some inexplicable reason, Karl—who had been appointed to care for the group’s finances—traded off most of their survival gear during their second stay in Asriamas. He gave away almost all of their fishing line, all but three fishing hooks, and nine of the ten lighters they had when they arrived in the village, leaving only one (and half-full at that!) for the remainder of the journey. This did not seem to deter anyone, though, as they set off down the Tuichi for the last time as a group of four.

If anyone in the group had any nagging concerns about their lack of preparation for what lay ahead, this was certainly the appropriate time to adamantly voice their opinion and insist on beefing up their survival supplies. Nobody did, and it was only a matter of minutes before they realized they were woefully ill equipped for what lay ahead. The river’s personality changed from placid to frenzied with a single bend in the shoreline, and the raft bashed from rock to rock before the four travelers were able to get to shore and regroup. They practiced a little after setting out again, and seemed to hit a comfortable rhythm, a sensation aided by the fact that they happened to be in the midst of a particularly calm section of the river once again. They pulled to shore for the evening at the top of a tumultuous section known as Eslabon Pass.

Here, Karl did the right thing (though perhaps motivated by his own self-preservation) by insisting that they portage around the pass, after which they would again take to the river. The other three were anxious to get going, though, and chose to ignore his warnings. While Karl was out hunting, Yossi and Kevin boarded the raft to take it through the pass; Marcus grudgingly joined them. The three somehow made it through the pass alive, though they lost all their oars and poles en route. Luckily, Kevin was strong enough to jump into the water and pull the raft to shore, with Yossi and Marcus still on it. They hiked back through the jungle, gathered up Karl and the rest of their gear, and returned to the raft.

The next few days followed a similar pattern: idyllic and calm, turbulent and frantic. Yet things changed forever when they approached a notorious section of the river known as Mal Paso San Pedro, a rock canyon that ends in a precipitous waterfall. Here, Karl suddenly decided he was going no farther down the river, and would instead spend a few days walking to a village he thought to be in the vicinity, where he would rent donkeys to take him back to Apolo. Marcus agreed to go with him, while Yossi and Kevin decided to take the raft through the Mal Paso San Pedro and down the river. It may seem like a foolish decision, but it was no more risky
than Karl’s alternative. In fact, I think Karl and Marcus should have pressed on with Yossi and Kevin, which might have seen them all make it to safety. But the group dynamic had deteriorated so much by that point that it was almost fated that they would go their separate ways in pairs.

With the decision made to split up, the next order of business was to divide their survival gear. Land-bound Karl and Marcus took the rifle, giving the fishing gear and most of the nonperishable food to Kevin and Yossi. The machete went to Kevin and Yossi; Karl and Marcus got the tent. Early the next morning, they bade farewell to one another. It would be the last time Yossi ever saw Karl or Marcus.

Kevin and Yossi set off down the Tuichi on their raft, with a smaller life raft tied on top in case of emergency. Things went wrong immediately; as the river narrowed and the banks rose from gentle beaches to rock walls, the raft became pinned up against a rock at the entrance to the Mal Paso San Pedro. As water rushed furiously all around, Kevin decided to swim for shore, where he would throw Yossi a vine and pull him to safety. Yet as soon as Kevin dove into the water, the weight of the raft shifted and it came loose from the rock. Yossi hurtled down the river and into the Mal Paso San Pedro by himself. For what seemed like an eternity, he careened from rock to rock, until he was finally thrown over the falls and into the torrent of the river. He somehow managed to survive the drop uninjured, and miraculously found the raft floating not far away. When he swam to it, though, he was shocked to find that the little life raft—which had all the food and survival gear strapped to it in what Yossi called a “lifepack”—had become dislodged and was lost. He was now well separated from Kevin and alone in the Amazon, without a backup plan in place.

Yossi saw the lifepack raft trapped between some rocks on the far shore and made an attempt to retrieve it, but the current was too strong. So he did the right thing by improvising a shelter for himself and deciding to wait until the following day to try to rescue the raft. He fed himself that evening by uprooting a palmetto tree and eating the palm heart, as Karl had taught him. He had paid attention, and it served him well.

At this point, he had two choices: give in to desperation or pull himself up by the bootstraps and soldier on. For Yossi, the decision was clear: he would survive.
And in those moments when he began to feel hopeless,
he would whisper his new personal mantra to himself: “Man of action, man of action.” This was a terrific survival strategy, whether Yossi knew it or not. Repeating a phrase or a comforting thought can be a strong motivational tool in a survival situation, one that helps keep the mind focused on the positive aspects of the situation, not the desperation.

There are several other ways to bolster your will to live in these situations; most revolve around thinking about the people you love, and how wonderful it will feel to be reunited with them. Some people turn to spirituality or religion in times of great stress, and derive comfort, confidence, and strength from prayer and meditation. There is also a benefit to talking out loud—to yourself, nearby animals, trees, or rocks. This can help clear your head and put you on the road to survival.

The next morning, Yossi decided to go back and look for the life raft in the river. His innate survival instincts began to demonstrate themselves immediately. He was careful and meticulous in the route he chose down to the river, recognizing how dangerous it would be if he hurt himself on the way. Eventually, he made it down to the raft, where—through a huge stroke of good luck—he found the lifepack, too! Inside, he was delighted to find its contents—rice and beans, flashlight and matches, lighter, map, mosquito netting, poncho, first aid kit, insect repellent, and wallet—intact.

Yossi’s ability to think clearly in an otherwise desperate situation was amazing. In his first day completely alone in the jungle, he used his red poncho to make a signal in case Kevin wandered nearby; he successfully killed, skinned, and gutted a poisonous lora snake (which he later used for fishing bait), harvested an unidentified yellow fruit from a tree laden with fire ants, and improvised a shelter in a stone wall. Yossi’s response in these early stages is a classic example of how a person’s individual ability can come to the forefront when the other members of the group are no longer around to overshadow it.

He began walking back toward Kevin, but his feet were in bad shape. He had begun to develop the same trench foot that had plagued Marcus for so long, only worse. To help ease the pain, he swallowed a pill from a box labeled uppers in the first aid kit, then made his way back up the Tuichi.

I’ve found that strong pain medications can be very helpful in a survival situation. I usually take Demerol with me, in case of a major pain-inducing injury like a broken femur. It not only erases the pain, but also helps calm you down, thereby preventing the shock (which can be as dangerous as the pain) that often accompanies such serious injuries. As long as you are trained in the proper use of strong painkillers (and it’s vital that you are), you can get yourself through some pretty debilitating injuries.

Yet the drug, combined with Yossi’s relatively empty stomach, was too much. Like a man possessed, he ran through the jungle with reckless abandon for hours on end. At one point he came to a sheer rock face. The Tuichi flowed some two hundred feet below, but Yossi—determined to find Kevin and fueled by a feeling of invincibility from the drugs—scrambled up the cliff, putting himself at great risk. At one point, he even fell off the wall, but had his fall broken by the pack on his back.

In those first few days, Yossi was often stricken with fear at the thought of the many potential dangers lurking around him, but he took active measures to stave it off. He looked for a stick that he could use as a club or spear, an excellent choice in a survival situation as it can be used for many tasks, including protection from jaguars—the main large jungle predator. Unable to find anything suitable, he practiced using his insect repellent as a flamethrower, another brilliant bit of innovation.

Yossi settled down on a plateau not far from the river and waited for five days before concluding that he was not going to find Kevin. In the meantime, his feet began to heal and his fever settled, so waiting proved to be the perfect strategy. Too often, people ignore their bodies and try to push through the pain, when they should instead stop, rest, and take care of themselves before moving on. Five days later, Yossi was in much better condition, and he decided to walk downriver to a small seasonal camp called Curiplaya, where he hoped to find people.

As Yossi started his journey to Curiplaya, he could not stop obsessing about food, a classic reaction in these situations. I have done the same thing during every one of my survival episodes. Usually, around the fourth day without food, I start craving big, hot pieces of pizza dripping with gobs of melted cheese because my body is craving fat, and melted cheese is the perfect solution. My mind makes the connection, and dreams of pizza invariably plague me on long nights alone in the wilderness.

Yossi soon decided that traveling along the riverbank would be too slow and arduous, so he made for higher ground and meticulously picked his way up the steep mountainside that fell sharply down to the river below. After his close call on the cliff nearly a week earlier, Yossi realized that getting injured would have been the kiss of death. He was right. Even something seemingly as minor as getting poked in the eye with a branch—not to mention tearing an ankle ligament—is enough to turn someone from survivor to victim. All movements must be measured and calculated and made calmly.

Back near the top of the mountain, Yossi realized he had no idea which direction to travel, as he could no longer see the river, which had been his only reference point. Dejected, he decided to return down the treacherous slope; he seemed to have no other choice than to pick his way along the steep banks of the Tuichi. That trip had to wait until morning, though, as darkness was setting in. He was near panic when he realized there was no suitable place to find shelter and he was unable to make a fire. He fashioned a makeshift tent from the mosquito netting, armed himself with what few items he had in his pack that he could use in self-defense, and sat nervously as total darkness fell.