Wildflowers (18 page)

“Do you want Mallory and me to keep all the kids in the backyard while you have your Bible study?” Anna asked.

Jessica’s soft face took on a relieved expression. “That would be wonderful. We’ll all be happy to pay you for the time you spend babysitting the children.”

“That’s okay. We like your kids. And you have a huge backyard with lots to do. It will be fun.”

“Anna, you’re a sweetheart,” Jessica said. “But we’ll still pay you. Please make yourselves at home, and let me know if I can get you anything.”

“I don’t have a serving spoon for the pasta salad,” Genevieve said.

“No problem. Bring it in the kitchen. I have everything set up.”

Genevieve followed Jessica into the spacious kitchen where half a dozen women were standing around the counter visiting. Genevieve recognized all the women, but she didn’t know everyone’s name.

“You know Leah and Alissa and Lauren, of course,”
Jessica said. “And Teri and Shelly. Have you met Meredith before? Meri is Shelly’s sister.”

“We met at the May Day event at camp a year ago.” Meredith held a sleeping baby in her arms. “Only this little guy was in my belly then instead of in my arms.”

“He’s so sweet,” Genevieve said. “What’s his name?”

“Grant. Grant Jacob.”

“Strong name,” Genevieve said.

“He’s a strong little man already. He’s only nine months old, but these overalls are size 2T.”

Genevieve glanced at Meredith’s sister, Shelly. Genevieve knew that Shelly and Jonathan loved their full and busy life at Camp Heather Brook, but they had let a few close friends know that they had been trying for some time to get pregnant without success. Genevieve wondered how Shelly felt standing there listening to her younger sister talk about her strong, healthy son. If Shelly was struggling with jealousy, her face showed no evidence of it.

“How long will you be here?” Alissa asked.

“Just a few more days. My parents are settling into their new bed and breakfast. Shelly thought we should all be together so our family could have a blessing party for them.”

“What’s a blessing party?” Alissa asked.

“Our family got together at the Hidden House last night and ate pizza. Then, because the carpet is all ripped up, we went around the house with permanent markers and wrote blessings on the old flooring. We listed the fruit of the Spirit on each of the steps and wrote verses in the middle of the floor of each of the guest rooms.”

“That is so creative,” Lauren said. “I’ll have to remember to tell Kenton.”

Genevieve would have thought Lauren would be appalled at the thought of writing on anything old with permanent markers. Lauren’s antique store at the end of Main Street was filled with old furniture she had gathered from garage sales.

Lauren explained her thought. “Kenton is eager to pull off the wallpaper in our family room and replace it with wood paneling. He would love the idea of writing blessings on the wall before we put up the paneling.”

Just then three-year-old Beth, who had been patiently patting Alissa’s arm, said in a clear voice, “Mama.”

Everyone stopped.

“Yes, Beth?” Alissa leaned down to give the girl her full attention.

“Up.” Beth lifted her arms, and Alissa scooped her up.

Genevieve noticed tears in Alissa’s eyes as Alissa whispered, “That’s the first time she’s called me Mama.”

All the women gave a collective “oh!” and murmured expressions of happiness at this breakthrough for Alissa and her daughter.

Genevieve thought of the long talk she and Alissa had in Alissa’s office. She remembered the way Alissa said she had learned to forgive before she could go on and feel as free as she did now. It certainly showed. In all the years Genevieve had known Alissa, she had never seen her this content and settled.

“Why don’t we have a prayer together,” Jessica suggested
softly. “Then everyone please help yourself to the food here on the counter, and we’ll sit at the dining room table. Oh, and for the vegetarians, there are two taco salads. The one in the blue bowl doesn’t have meat.”

Jessica held out her hands, inviting the women to join her in a circle of prayer.

For Genevieve, something powerful and precious occurred when she held Anna’s hand and listened to Jessica pray for the women in the group. Jessica went around the circle and prayed for each of them by name as well as their spouses and each of their children. Genevieve hadn’t realized how many people this group represented.

As Jessica was concluding her prayer for Meredith, the last woman in the circle, the sound of a baby crying in the other room broke the solemnity of their prayer time. Jessica ended with, “And bless baby Malia, who probably wants to eat now, too. Amen.”

Teri slipped out of the circle. The others began to chat as they reached for plates and helped themselves to the abundance of salads on the counter.

“Would you like me to make some lunch for the little kids?” Anna asked.

“All of them ate before you got here,” Jessica said. “Except maybe Molly Sue. Lauren, did Molly eat something yet?”

“Yes, she’s fine.”

Teri entered with her baby girl on one hip and a baby boy on the other hip. “Lauren, guess who wasn’t sleeping?”

“Michael,” Lauren said, “were you keeping Malia
awake?” The round-faced little fellow cooed when he saw his mom.

Genevieve felt overwhelmed being in the midst of this overactive baby factory. She began to reconsider her idea of building a tree house inside the restaurant. If they attracted this many toddlers on an average afternoon, it would take a separate employee just to corral the troops while the moms tried to talk. She thought she might be better off turning the old storage shed into a playhouse and sending all the children out back while the adults ate.

“Anna,” Genevieve whispered, “are you sure you don’t mind watching all these children this afternoon?”

“I don’t mind.”

“Good for you. You’re a braver woman than I.”

Genevieve stood back as the others dished up their salads. She glanced at the wall behind her and noticed a small, framed picture next to the refrigerator. It looked like the front of an antique greeting card with gold-lettered, fancy script. Genevieve stepped closer to read the quote.

A single wildflower, given with love

Is better than

A dozen perfect roses

Given with indifference.

A
NONYMOUS

The room seemed to grow quiet for Genevieve. It didn’t matter that the children and babies outnumbered the adults or that the dogs had begun to bark in the backyard. She
loved how the picture used a single wildflower in such a simple way. Examining the framed picture again, she thought how she might use the image or the poem at the Wildflower Café.

But then, to her surprise, her thoughts flooded with images of Steven. Unannounced, a clear, powerful realization hit her full force. Not a realization about the café, which usually dominated her thoughts, but a realization about her marriage.

For years I’ve been striving to present my husband with a dozen perfect roses, haven’t I? I’ve tried to make our life together the best it can be. I feel like everything is up to me, and I work to make things perfect
.

But my heart hasn’t been in any of it. I’m not in love with Steven
.

A fear came over Genevieve. Her weary spirit had been found out once again. She felt as if she were inwardly dashing from her previously safe, dark hiding place to find a new place to hide where she wouldn’t be found out.

She looked over at the women gathered in this house. If there was ever an opportune time for Genevieve to come out of hiding and step into the light, it would be this afternoon, with these women.

Her instincts shouted, “Run! Hide! Flee back into the shadows where you know it’s safe!”

But her spirit was drawn to the light. Almost as if someone were calling her by name.

F
or the first twenty minutes of the afternoon Bible study, Genevieve didn’t say a word. She ate her salads and listened to the women talk. Their discussion revolved mostly around their children. They exchanged advice and hopped up whenever one of their little ones came in looking for his or her mom.

Genevieve knew she could make an excuse and leave at any time, but Anna already had collected the children who wanted to go with her and led them out of the dining room. Genevieve knew the women were appreciative of Anna and Mallory’s watching the children. If Genevieve left, it would cause a noticeable gap in the afternoon plans for the others.

Keeping her thoughts to herself and trying to push aside her feelings of panic, Genevieve stayed glued to her chair at the end of the dining room table. Jessica gathered up all the empty plates, and Teri helped her to clear the table. The
women pulled out their Bibles, and Genevieve noticed that each of them had a notebook and a pen ready. She had only her paper napkin in her lap. Under the table she was tearing it into tiny shreds.

“I have a few extra Bibles here.” Jessica placed them in the center of the table. Meredith reached for one first, and then Genevieve took the one with the brown leather cover. It appeared to be a well-read Bible with lots of handwritten notes in the margins.

“We’ve been going through the book of John,” Jessica said. “We’re on the second half of Chapter 11 this week. This is where Lazarus has died, and Mary and Martha cried to Jesus, ‘If only you had been here, this wouldn’t have happened.’ Last week we were talking about all the times we’ve said that to Jesus.”

Genevieve found the chapter and nodded. She knew all about feeling disappointed when the man in your life doesn’t come when you want him to.

Jessica went on. “I have one more thought to add to this part of the chapter before we look at the upcoming verses. Do you remember last week when someone commented on how Jesus told the women to roll away the stone, but Mary and Martha argued with the Lord and told him that Lazarus had been dead for four days and stunk?”

One of the women chuckled.

“I looked up something from the next part when Jesus brings Lazarus back to life. He again tells the women to do something. He says, ‘Unbind him, and let him go.’ ”

Genevieve looked down and found the verse Jessica was
referring to. It was verse 44.

“I don’t know why, but I really got into this,” Jessica said. “I even looked up the original word for ‘unbind.’ The Greek word is
aphiemi
. It also means to untie, to forgive, or to let go. The other place this same word is used is in Luke 23:34.”

Genevieve had no idea these women put so much research time into their study. She thought they would discuss what the passages meant to them, the way they had that one afternoon at the café.

“You don’t have to turn to the reference in Luke,” Jessica said. “You’ll recognize it when I tell you what it says. It’s when Christ was hanging on the cross. He used the same word when He said, ‘Father, forgive them.’ Or unbind them, untie them. ‘They don’t know what they’re doing.’ ”

Genevieve noticed that Jessica’s voice had become shaky. “This was a huge revelation to me because, as most of you know, I have a relationship in my life that’s basically dead to me. My father and I haven’t spoken to each other in years. I dug into this passage because I felt as if my father was dead to me the way Lazarus was dead to his relatives, his sisters. I have, in a way, wrapped up my father and buried him.

“When I was studying this, I felt as if the Lord was asking me to roll away the stone that I had put in front of this relationship. Just like Mary and Martha, I argued and told God that the whole relationship stinks because it’s been dead for so long.”

Jessica reached for a napkin to wipe a tear that was trailing down her cheek. “I knew I simply should obey God instead of argue with Him. So last night, in my heart, I rolled
back that stone. I opened myself up to that relationship once again. I know that if anything is going to be resurrected between my father and me, it will be a miracle that only God can perform. But at least the pathway is open now. The stone is rolled away. I have forgiven my dad, and God has made it clear I need to ask my dad to forgive me. I want to untie him and let him go.”

Everyone around the table was quiet. The one baby in the room was sitting contentedly on his mother’s lap. All the other children were outside. The afternoon sun slipped in through the lace curtains and cast a graceful pattern of light on the open Bibles on the table.

Genevieve wondered if the other women could hear her heart pounding. She knew all about rolling thick stones in front of dark caves and closing herself off from relationships. She swallowed twice and looked at her hands. She was afraid to look at the words in front of her. God might ask her to roll away the stone in her life and open herself to Steven.

“You can see why this has been really personal for me.” The tears raced down Jessica’s cheeks. She seemed to be crying without making any noise. It was painfully beautiful to see her face so peaceful and vulnerable at the same time.

Genevieve knew she had never cried like that. She knew she had never been in the presence of so much light, honesty, and openness.