Wilde's Fire (Darkness Falls #1) (38 page)

“Ma’am, will you allow me to sedate him?” Kegan asks.

“No.” Mom and I abolish the idea together.

“Kate,” Brad says, his tone curt.

I jump.

“Guilt does make you jumpy, doesn’t it?” His words are snake-like.

My skin crawls.

“She has nothing to feel guilty about, boy. You are lucky you are still capable of speaking to her. Now, if you would calm down, she will explain everything to you.” Cadman comes to my defense … again.

“Like hell she doesn’t. I’ve been in a coma for three weeks, and she’s been out screwing around with him!” Brad snaps, pointing at Arland, and then calms as quickly as a deranged mental patient. “Kate, can we talk alone?”

“Not in this lifetime. In case you do not remember,
You
.
Just
.
Hit
.
Her
.” Flanna shouts at him.

“It’s okay. I don’t mind talking to him alone.” I take in everyone’s shocked faces. My willingness to go anywhere with Brad surprises even me.

The muscles in Arland’s face are so tight, I imagine his teeth cracking under the pressure.

“He won’t hurt me,” I whisper.

“She’s right. I won’t hurt
her
.” Brad sounds nothing like the boy I grew up with.

Brit slams her hand on the table. “Shut up, Brad.”

Arland appraises my wounded eye and rubs his thumb on my cheek. “You do not have to do this. You owe him nothing, now.”

“You’re wrong. I do owe him an explanation.”

His face hardens. “We will
all
be waiting outside the door, in case you need us.” Arland’s soft-spoken words do not match the disapproval in his eyes.

Telling him it won’t be necessary to stand outside the door would be worthless. I’m sure he would do it anyway. He may not be happy about this, but I have to talk to Brad. I have to at least try to make amends with him, like Flanna said, although she probably thinks I’m crazy for talking to him, too.

I hand her the meat. “Okay. Let’s go back to your room, Brad.”

Flanna growls and squeezes the chicken. She’s definitely as appalled as everyone else is, but I ignore her and stand to leave with Brad. They don’t know him the way I do, or did, or hope I do. He hurt me, but he’s in pain, too.

Drawing in a steadying breath, I walk in silence, with Brad next to me, to what’s been his room for the last few weeks.

Everyone else trails right behind us.

We enter the room, and Brad closes the door. The click makes my heart skip a few beats.

“In the bathroom, you asked if I remember why we kissed. Why
did
we kiss?”

I barely make it to one of the chairs by the bed, but thankfully, he’s not yelling.

I pat the seat next to me. “Come sit by me?”

Brad walks over, lightly touches my throbbing flesh—I’m sure it’s already bruised—and sits down.

He’s been my best friend for years. Looking at him, I see that friend, and the memories we share. I want to hug him, want things to be the way they were—or almost the way they were. I want our friendship to be simple, the way it always was. But I guess it was always a lie, and I don’t want that. I’m so confused.

“I’m so sorry. I never intended to hurt you. Seeing that … that guy with his hands all over you … .”

Avoiding what will surely cause an argument between us, I let go of his comment about
that guy
. “Are you sure there isn’t anything else you remember?”

“I’m positive. The only thing I remember is kissing you.” Brad pushes a hair from my face, looking at me like there’s somehow still hope for an
us
.

I scoot my chair away from him. “Do you remember anything before you kissed me?”

He doesn’t seem to get the point and moves closer. “There are some obscure memories, but none of them makes any sense. Why is this so important?”

“I’m hoping to re-build your memory. We found a cave. You, Brit, and me. The plan was to explore it, then head back to camp. Does this ring a bell?” I try maintaining a monotone voice, to keep him calm.

He stares at the candle flickering on the dresser; the light dances in his blue eyes. “We were camping. You and Brit wanted to show me your favorite swimming hole.”

“Good. Then what happened?”

“I don’t remember.”

“Think harder.”

Brad presses his fingers to his temples and closes his eyes. He has to search his memories and remember everything on his own. I fear if I tell him what happened, he won’t believe me.

“That’s when you found the cave under the water. We went to explore it. Only it wasn’t a cave.”

“Right. We fell on the ground when we swam through. Then what?”

“You were screaming.” He opens his eyes. “I remember now; the creatures, the people rescuing us, the fever, it’s all there.”

Brad gets off the chair and paces back and forth between the door and me. He shakes his head and mutters inaudible words, fists balled.

I don’t understand his increased agitation; I’ve never seen him this way.

“Brad, this world is my world. I was born here, and am back here now to help end a war, but you have to go home. Tonight, we’ll ride you out to the clearing, so you can go back to your dad. Do you think you can handle that?” I ask, hoping to bring him out of his agitated state.

Brad keeps pacing and muttering. He stops and looks at me; an expression of limitless anger spreads across his face. “I
meant
it, Kate.”

“You meant what?” My hands tremble. I take a deep breath. This is Brad. He won’t hurt me. I shouldn’t be afraid of him.

“What I said to you before the coma, that I want to marry you. I’ve known since the first time we met. And yet, you still don’t care? Have you slept with him?” He’s so close to my face; his breath warms my cheeks.

“Brad, that’s none—”

“So, you have, then! I poured my heart out to you on my deathbed, and you’ve been fucking another guy! I thought you were better than that. I thought you had feelings for me, too. Why did you kiss me back? Why didn’t you just let me die?”

Tears stream down my face. I don’t dare tell Brad that Arland and I have absolutely not slept together. Brad’s anger flows so freely, I’m afraid he might hurt me, on purpose this time.

He returns to pacing.

Sitting in shock, I remain silent, trying to work up enough courage to bolt from the room. I press my feet to the floor, but he blocks my escape and leans face-to-face with me.

Brad narrows his eyes. “We would’ve been really great together. We could’ve had kids, opened our own vet clinic, or operated our own farm. You would’ve made me the happiest man alive. I’ve had a ring picked out for a long time. Without your parents, I realized this trip was perfect for us to be alone. I’d planned on telling you everything, but now you’ve ruined
everything
! I can’t believe I wanted to marry you!”

God, please, help me.

This is not the Brad I’ve known since we were little, not the Brad who plays with my hair when I’m stressed, or helps me with my homework. That Brad never so much as raised his voice to me. He’s accusing me of ruining his life. We’ve kissed once; why on Earth would he have picked out a ring for me?

Mom was right. I should’ve told Brad how I felt, years ago, but after coming on the trip, I kind of thought there might be a future … until I met Arland. Besides that, I found out about Mark, and now, I’ve seen the way Brad treated Arland. Brad
is
too possessive, obsessed, even. Everything he’s ever done has probably been a lie and a way to get closer to me, or to keep others from me.

He spreads out his arms, palms facing up. “Are you going to say anything?”

“I—”

There’s a knock at the door.

“Kate? Your mother would like to speak to you,” Flanna says.

“Leave us alone,” Brad yells over his shoulder, then scowls at me. “Don’t you think you owe me some kind of response?”

I close my eyes; the magic burns inside. Without looking, I know my skin is ablaze with the brilliant blue color. A renewed courage takes hold of me. Opening my eyes, I look at Brad’s angry face. He doesn’t step back, doesn’t seem to see the fire engulfing my skin.

There’s no choice. He has to go home now.

“I love you, Brad, but it’s never been the same way you love me. This could’ve all been avoided if you had been honest with me much earlier in our lives. Please, will you ride to the clearing with us, so we can take you home?” I try hard to keep my voice void of emotion.

Brad crosses his arms. “No! I’m going to wait here until your little boyfriend drops you on your ass, and I’m going to laugh at you when he does.”

He spits in my face.

“
Arland!
” I yell, knowing it’s wrong, but I want Brad to hurt. He’s a mean liar and deserves to be punched after his tirade.

Arland bursts through the door. “Kate, leave now!”

I run from the room and throw myself into my mother’s loving arms. She brings me away from the hall, leading me toward the kitchen.

“So you’re Kate’s baby-sitter now? I hope you enjoyed screwing the only woman I’ve ever loved.” Brad yells before Mom and I are out of earshot.

The door slams before I hear Arland’s response.

My heart aches worse than it ever has. Tears blind me. I’m cold, but sweating.

Mom rubs my back and pulls hair out of my face as a wave of vomiting takes over. “Flanna, get something under her.”

Flanna rushes a wooden bucket under my mouth, and I puke for what seems like way too long, considering how little I’ve eaten today.

My stomach twists and burns. With each heave, my chest constricts and my muscles weaken.

I sit on the floor, then lean against the wall.

“What happened?” Mom asks.

I tell her everything: how Brad accused me of having sex with Arland, how Brad made it seem like I was cheating on him, how he wanted to marry me, how he had a ring picked out, how he spit in my face.

She wraps her arms around me, squeezing my numb soul. “Kate, I’m so sorry. I never expected Brad to react that way. He’s been hiding this very dark side of himself well.”

“What do you think they’re going to do to him?” I expected Arland to hit him and be out of there already, but it’s been at least fifteen minutes, and I haven’t heard the door open even once.

“Kegan and Arland are going to wipe his memory.”

“
What
?”

“We discussed it while you were talking with Brad. If he had willingly come with us to the clearing, we would’ve left his memory intact, but his dark obsession with you is too powerful. I don’t know if it’s possible, but I fear he might try to come back through the portal.”

I pull out of Mom’s arms. “I didn’t even get to say goodbye!”

“Why would you even want to? He spit in your face and basically told you he hopes Arland leaves you broken and miserable.” Brit hops up onto the counter.

“That will never happen,” Arland says, walking into the kitchen without a smile. He stares at me. His face is emotionless, but his eyes tell exactly how much he’s bothered by the situation.

“Kate, will you walk with me for a moment?”

I nod.

Arland reaches out for me.

Linking my shaky arm through his, I walk with him toward Brad’s room.

Arland pauses outside the door. “I did not hit him. It took a lot of restraint not to do so. We have cleaned his memory of everything that has happened since he caught us outside the communications room. Would you like to say goodbye to him now, or would you like us to finish?”

Confused by the question, I look at Arland. After everything that’s happened,
do
I want to say goodbye? A moment ago, I was upset about not having the chance to say goodbye, but now that it’s here, I don’t want it.

“Finish it.”

Arland re-enters the room.

Cadman has his hand on Brad’s shoulder; the two stand by the bed.

He catches sight of me before Arland closes the door. “Kate! Let me go! I have to see her.”

Before I change my mind and burst through the door, I wrap my arms around myself and run back to the kitchen. How did it come to this? How did I lose the boy I put stars on my bedroom ceiling with, when we were little? How did he turn into this monster? How come I never saw this?

“What did Arland want?” Flanna asks.

Tears stream down my face. “He gave me an opportunity to say goodbye. I didn’t do it.”

Flanna leads Mom, Brit, and me up to the stables, then puts us to work. I have a feeling she’s doing it only for me, to help clear my head, but Mom and Brit don’t complain. They take care of the cows and goats, while I spend time with Mirain.

She welcomes me in her stall, giving me little nudges with her nose. Resting my head against her chest, I listen to her breathe for a while, before I finish brushing her.

No one talks in the stables; we only work. Shovels hit the earth, and straw rustles as it’s spread about. Except for an occasional sigh, it’s quiet in here with Mirain. My spirit has not lifted at all, but being with her helps.

I grab some oats from a bag and offer them to her. “Who sent you to me, girl?”

Mirain eats the oats from my hand. When her mouth touches my palm, a vision flashes. A beautiful, bright-golden-skinned man with long, silver hair and a matching beard, dressed in a white robe, revealing a chest full of rippled muscles, stabs a sword into the ground, then turns to walk off. Beside him, a golden mare stands. The vision fades, but I want to see more of it. The man was elegant, warm.