Wildcard (57 page)

“No artefacts allowed.” He glanced
meaningfully at the Sergeant’s wrist.

“But he’s my friend.” He put his hands
together as if praying. “ Puhleez?” He acted like a boy pleading to
keep his toy.

“Well, if he’s your friend, then it’s
OK.”

“Why is he allowed in again?” Dartagnan
asked.

“You can only ENTER once. The first Sergeant
entered before. Anyway, it’s a bit different now without the old
couple.”

“Can I go in?”

“Yes, you may. Finally. A bit too late,
eh?”

Dartagnan walked. Everyone followed.

“Just between us,” the Jester leaned in and
whispered to the boy, “Big Sergeant has to do things alone.”

“Why?”

“Just a rule.”

“No, the other bridge”, the Jester said.
“That is the old heart. No one can go to that place.” Both bridges
crossed the small river within a few feet of each other. They
crossed the other bridge, and the jester disappeared. They walked
through a small forest and came to a small brick house, not the old
couple’s.

Martha sat on the porch swing. She stood to
greet them, but did not come down. She was very pregnant. The
Sergeant gave her a perfunctory hug, which she returned with real
warmth. He softened, returned the feeling. “Karl’s dead.” He cried
a bit as she held him.

“I know, Sergeant. There was a wildsong. I
wanted to see him again.” She turned. “RJ! What a wonderful
surprise.” She kissed him, on the lips, passionately.

“I wondered if those dreams were real.”

“Yes.” She patted her round belly. “It was.
You’re a good lover RJ. Those were wonderful dreams. Thank you for
bringing carnal pleasure to wildspace. And physical feeling. I’m
sure it’s to everyone’s benefit.” She looked at the other three
men, then laughed. “Or not.” She kissed LuvRay on the cheek.
“Welcome home, Lone Wolf.”

“No my home. But good place. I glad see you.
You are happy.”

“Yes, LuvRay, I’m very happy here. I’m
home.”

“You smell right. I was fear you not,
because she…took you. I mourn your days upon the dark. I stay alone
then, in dark. Speaked at spirits for help you. Try be together you
for….”

“LuvRay,” she choked up, “LuvRay. Without
you, I could not have found my way here. Without you, I would still
be in the dark. This place has healed me.”

“You are pack, tribe. No choice.”

“Are they in the pack?” She gestured to RJ,
the Sergeant, and Dartagnan.

“Boy is tribe, no pack. RJ is pack.
Dartagnan thing is nothing.”

“Hello, Dartagnan,” she said. “Wish I could
say I was pleased to meet you.”

He took off his hat and bowed with a gallant
gesture. “At your service, m’lady.”

“Unfortunate. I have had enough of your
services. They have caused me great pain. I still have nightmares.”
For a moment, she was the Benefactor. LuvRay bared his teeth.

“No do that again. She do this. I try kill
her because of.”

“I heard you did your best, LuvRay. I’ve
become someone else. I am no longer the Martha you knew.” She
turned to the door. “Well, why doesn’t everyone come in?”

“I must to do some…not know, but
outside.”

“I know what it is.” She pointed. “He is
over there, in the forest. Find him, he’ll come to you. Teach him
what he is meant to be.”

LuvRay leapt over the railing and slid into
the forest.

“Come inside,” she said. She made some tea,
and after setting it down, lit a stick of incense. They talked for
quite a while, all through the night, and the next morning.

“Your body is pregnant, also. The Benefactor
does some more experiments.”

“The father?”

“I have no idea.”

She looked a bit sick.

RJ asked about her nightmares. They seemed
connected to the wound.

She pulled wildsong off the shelf and they
read from it. She lit more incense soon after each stick went
out.

“I thought LuvRay was not going to get to
the heart. ‘goodnight, Wildcard’ implied so,” RJ said. It seemed to
be a question. They all looked at her.

“I think he wanted LuvRay to meet Hazel and
the old man. He learned things in a special way through the old
man. It is no longer possible to encounter Wildcard directly, if it
ever was. He’s… gone beyond.” She paused. “And, really, I’m pretty
sure that Wildcard had no idea what would happen when the old
couple died. I think he just needed it to happen.”

About mid-morning, the smell of the incense
became real and wonderful. They soon fell into a reverie and slept.
Even Dartagnan, who had begun breathing in heavily through his
nose. “Smell,” he said. “Real smell! Fantastic.”

They all awoke when LuvRay came in and
collapsed. He was exhausted and happy.

“What happened, LuvRay?”

“He is wolf, now. Now he knows wild
earth.”

“Will I see him again?” Martha asked. “I
would miss him greatly.”

“Yes. Less as before, but you see again. He
knows you are pack. He will live here, but must go for many days.
He must find the hidden world.”

“Hidden world?”

“Hidden from humans.”

“Does it exist here?” Sublime asked. “Does
Wildcard know about it?”

“Now he knows.” LuvRay tossed a dog collar
at the Sergeant. He turned it over. On the inside it said caesar
sect.

“Caesar sect. Anybody know what that means?”
No one knew. The Sergeant shrugged and put the collar on his own
neck. It fit.

They let LuvRay sleep for a few hours while
they ate lunch and relaxed. Dartagnan kept lighting incense, three
and four sticks at a time, breathing the smoke in directly and
moaning in ecstasy.

“You won’t come with us?” RJ asked her.
“What if I stayed here?”

Marta stroked his cheek. “That would be
nice. I wish you could. I must stay here and give birth to our
child in the heart of Wildcard. And you will play games for the
rest of your days.” She kissed him as a lover. She pointed. “Go
that way.” It was not the way they had come in. She kissed LuvRay
on the cheek, and hugged the Sergeant. “Goodbye, lone wolf.
Goodbye, broken boy.” She hugged the Sergeant for a long moment,
then pulled back and kissed him on the forehead. “Our hero. Sorry,”
she said, wiping a tear, “I’m a pregnant woman. I cry too easily.
Hormones.”

But they could tell she knew something and
was not telling them.

“You read too much poetry,” Dartagnan
said.

“You don’t read enough.”

The Sergeant strapped on the box and they
walked into the forest. Within a few paces, it was different. It
became a children’s nightmare forest, whispering trees, moving
bushes, suddenly darker. Black squirrels stared at them strangely
from the branches. Strange noises and voices emanated from nowhere.
It was puzzling, but not especially frightening.

“LuvRay? Which way?”

LuvRay whistled and they waited.

CJ came after a few hours, running at a good
pace. He led the way, and soon they came out of the woods. They
were on a cliffside, overlooking the ocean. CJ turned back, after
saying goodbye to LuvRay.

Dartagnan fell to his knees vomiting. It
smelled horrible, but not like vomit. He loved it, dipping his
hands into it and bringing it to his nose.

“Vomit,” he said joyfully, “it smells
awful.”

“Wonderful,” RJ said.“ Glad you like
it.”

“I know where we are. I know what will
happen. Some of what will happen, anyway.” No one seemed to want to
know. He was vomiting insane amounts, four, five, ten times the
volume of his body, easily. It looked unreal even for wildspace.
The texture of the vomit looked wrong, too. It seemed infused with
glistening, shiny bits, flashes of light. Unearthly, and
distinctively not human, it was nauseous to look at.

“Looks downright unpleasant. Wouldn’t care
to be you right now.”

“Data vomit.” Dartagnan laughed between
surges. “Not as bad as it looks. Or smells. Nice, actually. I’m
making room - it’s kind of a systems purge. It would probably be
painful if it were not so intense. The intensity sort of overpowers
the pain.” They continued, Dartagnan vomiting periodically.

“Why do you need to make room?”

“I think it’s an automatic response. I have
been calculating millions of probabilities. Now that I know the
outcome, I’m dumping things which are no longer useful. I need all
my resources for what is to come.”

He vomited again.

“Fascinating.” Sublime didn’t wait.

They walked along the tops of the cliffs and
saw a house in the distance. A woman came out to greet them. She
was bulgingly pregnant, wore jeans, a t-shirt, and a flannel shirt.
She stood on the deck of the house. There was a sailboat docked at
the foot of a short path from house to ocean.

By the time they arrived, she had set out
some cheese and wine. After inviting them to sit down, she seemed
apprehensive, but trying to hide it, and sat on a large chair, feet
tucked under her, resting the large wine glass on her belly. She
drank very little. She seemed to have to do something which she
didn’t want to. They sipped wine and ate cheese, until she
stood.

“I have something to show you.”

The Poet brought them into a large room with
a wall of windows overlooking the ocean. She shut the door and
opened the windows. The Sergeant set the box down. “Would you like
to hear a new poem?” she asked.

“When did you write it?”

“I didn’t write it.” They were all
surprised. “I found it in this room when I awoke today. Would one
of you read it?”

No one wanted to. The Sergeant, RJ and
Dartagnan appeared vaguely uneasy. LuvRay seemed to not care either
way.

“I’ll read it,” RJ finally said. She handed
the poem to him and sat down.

augury

Our wound is ourself original

this horror is the child of man

heal it if you can

the tipping point is reached and, now, no
other way may be found

heal it you must, or despair and madness
will hold sway

the soldier leaps, the swordsman weeps, the
wolf attacks, and the gambler steps away

i will improve all of you darkly

the soldier learns what he can never
share

he will seek a hidden path, strive to make
the impossible true

prove the greatest warrior to walk the paths
of our space

broken boy will leap with innocence where
none other dares to look

the wolf shall perish as he comes to see the
truth

slain by a friend’s hand, helpless, he
attacks, longing to protect

the swordsman will weep against the
dissolution of a manufactured mind

his substance torn away in a hail of what
only Wildcard may teach

and only three brothers could learn

swordsman, who of the three sought our song
least, but craved it most

the created will beg mercy as life and mind
evaporate in the hundred billion strains

of what could have been and was not

yours may be the worst pain of all

today i teach you unraveling, created

today i teach you pain

Deeply Named herself, our new heart, the
background of our song

without her, the light of the world
fades

without her, Wildcard swathes the universe
in darkness

our reason for teaching and learning through
beautiful joy

through impossible agony

she knows the heros’ demise, suffers the
sweet pain of perpetual loss

as it comes again in the neverending
seasons

suffers as only woman can, seeing the men
she loves die in battle

she will stay with us for a thousand years,
we hope

her choice, and must be freely made, else
all we are has no meaning

all we have done would only be sham

her child grows, a man, too soon, to wander
off, fresh to see the world

never to return

we will keep her here to love alone

she will greet and meet and wrap our
kindness around

those who wander into our heart in their
hour of terrible need

together we will heal the broken as best we
can

hold them in our mercy, then send them upon
their way

she is our great treasure, and, as i owe the
world all that i am

so i offer her in return

others choose their own fates

Gambler, we would play you with you more,
for a time

by your choice

we know you choose to live but you may
choose if you continue on this way

we release you of your service

you have yet to see the fate of your
friends

you have heard, soon you know

i demand of you a final service:

recall what you can bear before your fear
overwhelms

before you cast your dice into the eye of
the hurricane

you may alter your mind about your
return

for the next hand shall deal you a darker
fate

Our Poet, our love, our witness to truth

our sage and insight who teaches all through
humbleness

we disallow you to see what passes now

unable to bear the change wrought upon
you

though you will recount the tale to the
trillions who wait and long for truth

we spare you that fate, our single mercy in
this tragic play

the stars themselves will scream when
finally opens the box”

“Well, that was cheerful,” said RJ. “What do
you think it means?” The joke fell flat. “Guess I got lucky.”

“Yeah, RJ, that’s your thing,” the Sergeant
said. “Luck. You always seem to be the lucky one. Don’t you know
that?”

“Of course I know it. I’m just enjoying it
at the moment.”

“Good for you.”

They heard a baby crying, faintly, as if
from a great distance.

They turned. The box was open.

No one had seen it happen. Inside was a tiny
bed, for an infant. The crying continued, getting louder. The
windows slammed shut, and outside everything turned to fog.