Wild Things (BBW Paranormal Shifter Romance): Shifter Lovers Romance (6 page)

“I
have to go. It’s too late already. People will be awake.”

Nodding,
she let him brush the tears away from her cheeks.

“Yes.
I know.” She looked up into his face. It was light outside now, very light. “I
love you, too. You know that.”

“I
do. And I will always love you, no matter where you are…”

“Shush…don’t
say that.”

He
moved away, finding his clothes, pulling on his trousers. She sat on the edge
of the bed, watching. “Will I see you again? The Ottway will send his train for
me in a week. Will there be time…”

He
stopped what he was doing and looked down at her. “That soon? What happened?
What made him change from the original date, over a month from now?”

She
shrugged. “I don’t know. He wasn’t exactly the best conversationalist. I tried
not to talk to him, if I could help it. All he said that I remembered was he
was worried about his precious cargo. I didn’t appreciate being called cargo
and I stopped listening to him.”

Gabriel
stared at her. “Cargo. He sent his train for you, correct? Did it stop along
the way, other than for taking on water?”

“Yes,
he sent his train. He doesn’t trust anyone, not even my father. He insisted it
be his train, his Protectorate…”

“Yes,
I know all that. Did the train stop?”

“Well,
twice…but I don’t think we took on water at the second stop. It was a much
shorter stop than the first. At that stop, I heard clanging and banging, and
then the sound of water gushing. But the second was far quieter. No clanging,
or not much of it. No sound of water.”

Gabriel
was still staring into space. Then, without speaking, he picked up his tunic
and pulled it over his head. She’d lost him, but she wasn’t sure where or how.

“I
have to leave. Go to sleep.” He leaned down, kissing her with such passion that
when he pulled away, she was breathless. And then he was gone, slipping through
the arch to the balcony. It was hard to stay where she was, not to rise up and
follow him.

She
sat for a moment, listening to the sounds of the palace waking up. It was far
too early for Anacelia to come wake her for breakfast. Stretching her arms over
her head, she yawned. Her body felt used, in the way it had when she was
younger, and she had gone riding in the desert. After racing over the dunes on
her stallion, and then brushing him down in the stables, her body ached in a
good way, all the muscles and bones used and tested, and found strong. She
smiled; tonight she’d been used and tested in a different way. And found just
as strong.

The
bed was still there, waiting, the sheets rumpled, but inviting. She lay down,
pulling the sheet over her shoulder, nestling into the warm rich scent she knew
was her and Gabriel. The secret smell of sex. Closing her eyes, she let sleep
take her, finally able to push everything out of her mind. She drifted off into
dreamless sleep.

Days
of begging, pleading, and finally a near tantrum at the last hour had not
swayed her father’s mind. Senna was to be sent to the Ottway the following
morning. The Ottway would still send his own train, and be on that train with
his own entourage. The Princess Senna of Rhibara would not be allowed to have
her own Protectorate on board. Only the Ottway’s men would be there, strangers.
People she did not know, and certainly did not trust.

She
longed to see Gabriel. There had been no opportunity for him to come to her
again, like he had before. There had been a whirlwind rush of balls and
parties, guests from other kingdoms came to celebrate the marriage. To
celebrate that
they
would not be the ones to send their daughters to the
Ottway.

She
could handle parties and dances, greeting dignitaries. She’d been doing that
since she was a young girl. Her father had placed her in the role of hostess
more times than she could count, replacing her absent mother. A mother she
didn’t even remember.

Now,
at the last minute, she was packing, with the help of Anacelia, and a group of
girls from other parts of the palace. None of them had ever been to the upper
floors, and they seemed too in awe of Senna to be much help, despite Anacelia’s
commands and directives. Senna, lost in her own thoughts, wasn’t much help
either. Finally, sensing defeat, Anacelia had sent the girls away.

“Senna,
you can’t mope about like this.” Anacelia set a leather valise on the bed. “You
have things to do, things to see to. This should have been done days ago.”

“I
know. I’m sorry. I’m being a spoiled brat, aren’t I?”

Anacelia
shrugged, the closest she’d come to agreeing with Senna. But with each piece of
clothing that was packed, each silk sari or leather corset, each veil, bangle
or shoe, it felt like part of her soul was being ripped away. She turned back
to her dressing table, to the pile of jewelry she was supposed to be sorting.

“I’m
sorry. This is just…” She couldn’t bear to hear herself say—for the thousandth
time, it seemed—that this was unfair. She should start to see it as neither
fair nor unfair; it just was. Like weather, or the rising and setting of the
sun, or the moon, or the circle of the stars in the sky. None of which, she
could change.

Anacelia
came to stand behind her, her hands resting on Senna’s shoulders. “I know, girl.
I know.”

“What
did you say? Ignore much, excuse little?”

Anacelia
laughed. “Not quite. ‘Excuse a great deal, ignore even more’. You’ll grow wiser
with age, and it will be easier.”

“I’ll
grow old, and just be old.”

“Senna…such
the optimist. You need to find something to occupy yourself there. Does the
Ottway have gardens? You’ve always loved your father’s gardens. If you make him
give you leave over them, you can spend your time and energy on the earth,
making beautiful things grow.”

“Oh,
yes. That’s perfect.” Senna held out a beautifully manicured hand. “And getting
dirt under my nails and callouses on my palms. The Ottway won’t want me so much
then, when my rough hands scratch his tender parts.”

“Senna!
Child, what on earth…”

Senna
giggled. “You’ve made the perfect suggestion. I’ll stay in the sun all day with
no shade and sprout freckles all over my nose. My creamy skin will curdle, and
he’ll cast me aside.” She made a face, wide-eyed, scandalous. “Oh…if fortunes
are with me, he’ll take a mistress, forget I exist. Or I’ll stop eating and
grow thin, lose the curves that men should love.”

“You’ve
gone mad. What’s gotten into you?” Anacelia stood, hands on hips, staring at
her charge. “You’re over-excited, or you’ve had bad wine. Or something.”

“If
I’m not perfect, he won’t want me, correct?”

“Well…”
Anacelia frowned.

“You
know as well as I that this marriage is political, nothing more. But I can’t
think he’s not overjoyed to be getting a fresh young woman for his marriage bed,
plump and ripe for the picking.” Senna stood up, striding across the room,
skirts swirling after her. It was her last night in the palace; she suddenly
wanted to leave with no secrets. A little laugh escaped her lips.

“I’ve
been looking at this in the wrong light all along. Rather than a tragedy, I
should have been thinking this was a comedy.”

Anacelia’s
look grew more alarmed. “You need to lie down, Senna. I’ll get a cool cloth for
your forehead.” The woman bustled out of the room. Senna sat on the edge of the
bed, swinging her legs. Anacelia returned with a thick cotton towel, leaving a
trail of drops behind her.

“Lie
down. There, that’s better.”

Senna
let the woman fuss over her, let her put the cool towel on her forehead. It did
feel wonderful. Maybe she was overtired, giddy with exhaustion. Maybe a nap
would be a good idea. Her brain felt hot, feverish. But this was her last
chance, probably, to be with Anacelia. And she wanted to share, wanted to tell
someone…

“If
I tell you a secret, promise not to tell?” She took the older woman’s hand,
tracing her finger over the intricate tattoos that ran over the strong hand.
“Promise?”

Anacelia
smiled. “We haven’t played this game since you were very young. I promise.”

“I’m
no longer perfect.” Another wave of giggles threatened to swallow her words.
“The Ottway is going to be getting damaged goods.”

Anacelia
stared at her. “What are you saying?”

“I’m
saying, it’s more than just freckles on my nose…the Ottway will not be the
first to, how shall I say, enter that secret doorway.”

Anacelia’s
eyes went wide, her face draining of color. “Senna, no. What have you done?”

“It
was not what I did, but what was done to me.”

“Stop
speaking in riddles, girl. This is serious.” Anacelia was tugging on Senna’s
hand, to the point of pain. “Tell me, what have you done?”

Gabriel’s
words came back to her, that she shouldn’t tell – couldn’t tell. But those
weren’t his exact words. She wasn’t to tell it had been him.

“I
am no longer a virgin.”

Anacelia’s
eyes grew bigger, filled with fear. And then anger. “Who? He must be punished.
Was it that stable boy? Did he take advantage of you? I knew he should have
been flogged…”

“No,
Anacelia. Not him. He’s not the one.” Senna sighed; maybe her rush to share
this one last confidence had not been well thought out. Gabriel had been right.
But it was too late to shut the gate; the camel had left the stable.

“It’s
not important who, Anacelia. It’s only important that it happened. Because now
the Ottway…”

Anacelia
pulled her hand away from Senna, jumping up from the bed. “Senna. You can’t
tell anyone this. You should not have told even me.” The woman wrung her hands
in the folds of her sari. “I wish you had not.”

Senna
sat up, the towel falling aside. To see Anacelia so upset alarmed her. The
woman was eternally calm; strict, but calm. This was unexpected, and
unsettling. “I trust you, Anacelia. You are one of the only people in this
world that I can trust.”

“But,
Senna. Whatever you were thinking, or the man…who wasn’t thinking…”

“We
love each other.” She stood up, took Anacelia by the shoulders. “That has to
count for something, does it not?”

Anacelia
looked up at her. Senna saw tears and frustration and confusion—and fear—in the
woman’s eyes. “You cannot ever tell, Anacelia. Please.”

“I
would never betray your trust, girl…you know that. But you had to know this was
not a game…how dangerous this is.”

Senna
sank back onto the bed. “Because I wanted to have a story, like you, and now I
do. And I wanted to be able to share that with someone before…before I could
not.” Tears pricked her eyelids. “I wanted a story to tell our children.”

Anacelia’s
eyes went wide. “You are not with child?”

Senna
stared at the older woman. “I don’t know. How would I know?”

“Oh,
Senna. This is why you just don’t follow your impulses. Even with Bakri…we did
wait until we were married, you know.” She sat on the bed and took Senna’s hand
in hers. “Have you missed your moon cycle?”

Senna
shook her head. “I…no. I don’t know.” The tears fell now. She pounded her fist
on the bed. “How am I supposed to know these things?”

Anacelia’s
eyes held sadness, regret. “Your mother would have told you these things, when
you became a woman. And I…I have failed you. I should have paid more attention.
We should have talked before…I thought there would be more time.”

“You
haven’t failed me. You were there when I needed you. You have been my mother,
even though…”

Anacelia
held up her hand. “Yes. But that isn’t the issue. That is not something to take
lightly.”

“What
do I do?”

“You
take the Ottway to your marriage bed and no one will know…if…”

“If…and
if not? Then I’ll have done the thing I never wanted to do, for nothing.”

“You
can’t wait, or if you come to bed with child too soon, everyone will know
someone had gotten there before the Ottway.” Anacelia frowned. “And how did
this all come about, when you are promised to another man?”

“He
didn’t know, when…when it happened…about the marriage. I didn’t even know. My
father hadn’t told me. It hadn’t been announced.”

“Oh…”
Anacelia’s shoulders sagged, as if this was too much, all of it, for her to
bear. “That doesn’t change that he took advantage. But…somehow…”

“Somehow
it makes it less terrible, that he didn’t know?”

“Less…”
Anacelia shook her head, but she managed a smile. “There is no less with this.
There is only secrecy. Mine. His. And yours.” Her smile faded. Then she gasped.

“And
he will keep this secret? Can you trust him? He cannot speak a word of this.”

“He
will not betray me.” She left out the part that it was Gabriel who had demanded
her secrecy. Anacelia’s shoulders slumped again.

“You’ve
had your moment of telling your story, enough of it. It must now never be
talked about again. Do you understand?”

Senna
nodded. Anacelia leaned over, kissing her cheek. “Child, you are the reason I
have silver hair. I have a dozen more today.”

“They
look nice…”

“They
do not.” Anacelia started to rise, but Senna pulled her back down.

“Can
I just tell you how…”

“No.
No more.” Anacelia pulled away from Senna. “No more about this.” She took a few
steps, picked up a skirt, began folding it. Senna waited, watching. Finally,
Anacelia turned, the rose colored silk falling limp in her hands.

“Alright.
Once, only once. Tell me your story.” She sighed. “I know I’ll regret this.”

Senna
sat up, hands already tracing the air ahead of her words. “He came up the
balcony. He said he’d been watching me for as long as he could remember, and
then one night, under the full moon, he saw me as a woman, not a young girl
anymore.” Her words came out in a rush and she stopped, frowning. “It sounded
prettier when he said it.”

Anacelia
rolled her eyes. “I’m sure it did, if he was here and you were there, naïve and
vulnerable. And then you…and he…in the moment…”

Senna
laughed. “It was romantic. But he is very good with words, with making pictures
with them.”

“I’m
sure he’d very good with words, if it tricked you into letting him into your
bed.”

“It
wasn’t like that. The first time…”

“First
time? There was more than once?” The shock in Anacelia’s voice was clear.

Senna
dropped her eyes. This wasn’t how this conversation was to have gone. “Only
twice.” Her face grew warm; he’d only been in her room twice, but he’d made
love to her far more times. But it was clear that little nugget of information wasn’t
up for sharing.

“Oh,
child.” Anacelia watched her for a moment. Senna could almost see the thoughts
running through the woman’s head. “You cannot see him again. You won’t see him,
will you?”

Senna
nodded, thinking it was better than saying yes out loud. Even so, she crossed
her fingers behind her back, double insurance against telling a lie. Even if Gabriel
hadn’t said in so many words, there still was time, barely, for him to come to
her. And if she was with child, then one more time wouldn’t matter.

“You
cannot see him again. And you will not tell anyone else about this. Will you.”

It
was more command than question. Senna nodded again, crossing the fingers of her
other hand. At this rate, she’d be crossing her toes if Anacelia kept going
with things she wasn’t supposed to do or say.

“And
you will do as the Ottway requests, no matter how badly the man smells. Hold
your nose, or scent yourself, or something.” Anacelia threw up her hands, the
silk fluttering around her. “It only takes once, they say.”

“Once
will be far too many times.” A flash of memory, the way Gabriel had held her as
he took his release… She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and hoped what
was in her mind wasn’t running across her face.