Wild Roses (8 page)

“I think
you
really believe what you say.”

“Very well said,” she murmured.

Harrigan decided to ignore that little remark. He had felt the tension leave her body as he spoke. That gave him confidence. His apology might not be eloquent, but he was sure she was accepting it. She did, however, still look wary, and he wondered how he could soothe that away.

“Ella, we are never going to agree on Harold and what I should or should not believe. I want to believe you. I sure as hell don't want to give you to a killer. But I have no proof of what you say and, to be plain, I need the money Harold will pay me far too badly to take a gamble. Because of my stupidity, my family has no livelihood now. They had a damned good business, but now they scrape by working for the rich, scrubbing floors, doing washing, gardening, and every other menial chore the wealthy do not wish to dirty their hands with. The only thing that will put matters right again, or as near to right as they can be, is money. All I can do is swear to you that I will search out the truth the minute we return to Philadelphia.”

It surprised Ella that Harrigan was being open, but it also saddened her. He would never listen to her. She had not realized it, but she was asking him to choose between accepting her word with no proof and getting enough money to start pulling his family back out of servitude. The fact that he clearly blamed himself for his family's financial straits made it certain that he would choose them over her. If nothing else, a deep guilt would force him to it unless he could prove without question that her very life was in danger and she did not have that proof to give him. He was right when he said that the answer to this dilemma was in Philadelphia. All she could do was pray that he would find the truth in time to help her.

“I can only hope that I survive until you get your answers,” she said quietly, soothed somewhat by the look of doubt and concern that briefly crossed his face.

“Can we come to an agreement on this?”

“What? That I will cease to ask you to believe me?”

He grimaced. “Yes. I'm not going to change my mind in this and I think you know that. So what's gained by the constant arguing? Can't we just push the whole subject aside?”

“I hope you're not asking me to promise that I won't try to escape again.”

“No, just that we cease to argue about who is telling the truth. I don't think I can make you understand how desperate I am to put my family back where they were before my ill-fated liaison with Eleanor Templeton.”

“Probably as desperate as I am to stay away from Philadelphia and Harold.” She held up her hand to silence him when he started to argue. “I detest being thought a liar or, worse, delusional, but, fine, we will set the whole matter aside. You're right, I can see that nothing I say will change your mind, that you need a sort of hard proof that I cannot provide. I can even honor and appreciate your need to help your family. So, I will agree that we will no longer argue the matter of what Harold will or will not do. I will silently acknowledge that I know the truth and you can silently continue on your way, believing what you wish.”

Harrigan was too pleased to get the agreement to care how she worded it. He pressed his lips to her knuckles, inwardly smiling at the way she gently trembled. His cruel words had not killed her passion for him, he was sure of it.

“And can we agree that I was an idiot—”

“Very easily.” She almost smiled at the mildly disgusted look her interruption drew from him.

“—who spoke before he thought?” he continued. “I swear that I do not really think you would try to seduce your way to freedom. You'd try just about anything else, but not that.”

“I suppose. I just don't quite understand why the thought leapt to mind so quickly even though I certainly understand opening one's mouth and putting one's foot firmly inside. It is something I have occasionally been afflicted with.”

“I was stirred by the kiss we shared,” he confessed in a soft voice as he kissed the inside of her wrist. “Very stirred. I want you. Have done so from the first time I saw you. Holding you like that, kissing you, I fear I let that want gain too much control. One moment I am kissing you and thinking thoughts you should probably slap me for and then I'm alone in bed. I got angry. It's no excuse, just the truth. Since you were the one who put a stop to things, I visited that anger on you.”

“Fair enough,” she said, gently extracting her hand from his grasp and standing up, stirred by his words and needing to put some distance between them.

“That's all you have to say? Am I to understand from that that you accept my apology?”

“Yes. I will admit that I had envisioned a little more groveling on your part—”

“I thought I had groveled.”

“—but what you have said will do. It's the truth and who can argue with that?”

Harrigan frowned slightly as she stepped behind the privacy screen to prepare for bed. That little parting remark had a bite to it. He was certain of it. Ella was reminding him that he refused to believe her when she said she spoke the truth. He suspected he was supposed to notice that she was willing to believe him despite his mistrust.

Inwardly grimacing, he accepted what he was sure was a gentle reprimand. He had not lied when he had said he really wanted to believe her. More and more he was starting to believe that she thought she was speaking the truth. It was also more and more tempting to be completely on her side and tell Harold Carson to go to hell. Harrigan knew he was going to have to recall the plight of his family, and how much they depended upon him, with more frequency.

It was almost amusing. He truly believed that Ella had no plan to seduce him to her side, but she was doing it all the same. Everything about her pulled at him, not only to believe in her, but to do all in his power to help her. Her spirit, her wit, her constant and clever attempts to escape, and even the actions of her aunt all worked to make him wish he was in a position to forget the money and act solely on whim and high principle.

As he watched her slip into bed, he ruefully admitted that everything about her appearance also seduced him, even when she was wearing her maidenly white cotton nightgown. There was unquestionably a womanly air to her looks, her wide expressive eyes, and her full mouth as seductive as any he had ever seen. Her slim figure with its gentle curves tempted him with every move she made. Holding her close and touching every inch of her warm silken skin was something he thought about with an almost alarming frequency. Despite that, he knew in his heart that she was innocent, and, although he had always avoided innocents, he admitted that he found that alluring as well. He ached to be the first man to fully awaken the passion he knew lurked inside of her, to savor the fire he had tasted in her kisses.

He finished off his brandy and rose to prepare for bed. His conscience told him to get control of himself and his desires, to leave her alone, but he knew he would not listen to it. Harrigan knew he was going to try to do exactly what he had so nastily accused her of, that he was going to do his utmost to try to seduce her. As he slid into bed beside her, he also knew that, until he succeeded and could make love to her, he was probably not going to get much rest.

 

 

“Time for you to get some rest, Joshua,” said Louise as she moved to stand beside the young man.

Joshua glanced down at her bandaged foot. “I think that's what you should do. I can watch the hotel and the others can spell me when I need it.”

Louise slouched against the saloon wall next to him. They had caught up with the train and ridden it into this town never really expecting to find Harrigan. Their plan had been to try to get to Philadelphia before him and stop him from handing Ella over to Harold or, if need be to try and take Ella back from her guardian. It had surprised all of them to see Harrigan and George leave the barber's and walk into the hotel. Since the moment she had realized how close she was to Ella, she had not been able to rest, despite the urgings of the boys.

“I have to do something. My foot is a lot better than it was. Sitting comfortably on a train has done a lot to aid its healing.”

“But it ain't healed yet.”

“Nearly so.”

“Nearly ain't good enough.”

“Joshua, I have to do something. I can't just lay about wondering what is happening.” She scowled at the hotel. “I also keep wondering if we should be waiting at all. Maybe Edward is right, and we should just go and grab her.”

“If you'll just look around, you'll see that I was right about those boys I saw. They've been paid to be Harrigan's eyes. Yeah, we might be able to get in and grab her, but we won't get far before a very loud outcry is raised. This is best. We wait until we can get one of them alone, even though that probably won't happen until the morning. I've got a gut feeling it will happen though, and then we have something to deal with.”

“I hope you're right. I'm really worried about Ella.”

“If we don't get her back this time, we'll keep trying. You know we'll do all we can not to let Harold get his filthy hands on her.”

“I know. Actually, I was more worried about Harrigan.”

“Harrigan? True, him working for Harold doesn't exactly shine the best light on him, but I can't believe he'd hurt Ella. Can't say what it is, but something makes me think he is a decent enough fellow who's been caught up in something he just doesn't understand. I don't think he knows what the hell is going on and he really doesn't have any reason to believe us or Ella over Harold. He's probably just anxious to get back to Philadelphia so that he can shed this mess. No, I can't really see the man doing anything to hurt Ella.”

Louise smiled sadly as she stared at the hotel. “Not physically, no, but I think you'll know what I mean when I say that there are a lot of ways for a man to hurt a woman.” She was not surprised when Joshua just grimaced and offered her no comforting words.

The touch of warm lips against her temple made Ella murmur with pleasure. She cuddled closer to the hard warmth that was gently wrapped around her. It was as if the heated dreams of the night had become reality. When she felt long fingers tangle themselves in her hair and her face being tilted upwards, she started to come awake. As she enjoyed the feel of soft kisses on her cheeks and forehead, she realized that this was no dream, that yet again she had ended up in Harrigan's arms.

She kept her eyes closed, feigning sleep, and only briefly wondered why, the answer to her question forming quickly in her mind. Harrigan's expression of desire had haunted her dreams all night because she felt the same way. She wanted him as badly and as blindly as he'd said he wanted her. It did not seem to matter what they said to each other or all that stood between them, their bodies were starved for each other.

It was all wrong, she mused as their lips met, which made it odd that it should feel so perfect. Everything she had ever been taught warned her to stop, but her body ached to continue. Her heart sent her conflicting messages. It warned her to pull away, to protect herself, even as it beat faster with delight, sending the mindless heat of desire racing through her veins.

When he slid his tongue into her mouth, she shuddered, pressing closer to him and gripping his shoulders. She tentatively touched her tongue to his and he groaned slightly, wrapping his arms around her almost too tightly. Those signs that he desired her made her head swim and her thoughts scatter.

“Ella,” he whispered hoarsely as he kissed the pulse point on her neck.

“Mmmm?” She trailed her hands over his broad chest, savoring the feel of his smooth, warm skin beneath her fingers.

Harrigan gritted his teeth, fighting vainly to rein in his passion. Despite how badly he wanted her he was suddenly suffering a bout of guilt. He was the worldly one. He had also caught her off guard, at that moment when she was neither asleep nor awake and all of her defenses were down. She was warm, passionate, and welcoming, but Harrigan knew he had to give her the opportunity to retreat. He was sure that, if he took advantage of what could easily be a momentary weakness, he could turn that passion into an icy rage.

“Ella, I know you are awake now,” he said.

“What a clever man you are.” She frowned when he suddenly grasped her by the upper arms and held her away from him.

“Ella, are you fully aware of what we are doing?”

She blinked and studied him closely, wondering why he was interrupting their pleasure to ask such a stupid question. The dark warmth in his eyes, the taut lines of his face, and the light flush on his high cheekbones told her that he wanted her. It also told her what an effort it was for him to halt their love play. This sudden hesitation confused her.

“We're kissing,” she replied.

“And if we do not stop now, it'll become a hell of a lot more than kissing.”

Ella inwardly smiled, a little touched by what he was doing. Harrigan was trying to be gallant, giving her the chance to flee and save her chastity, and it was costing him dearly. In a way, it proved that his harsh words of the previous morning had indeed been a cruel blunder of words inspired only by anger and frustration. Ella felt the last of her anger fade.

For one short moment she considered accepting the chance to retreat. If she grasped at the passion he promised she would lose a great deal more than he would, her heart, her innocence, and, perhaps, any chance at marriage. Harrigan would simply have a good time then hand her over to Harold, collect his money, and walk out of her life. She could not base her decision on the chance that there would be any more than passion from him, because that chance was pretty thin. There was also the possibility that she would not escape Harold this time, that, in fact, her life was drawing to a swift and probably unpleasant ending.

That realization decided her. She had never fully understood why women were expected to be sweet, chaste, untouchable dolls while men could run about doing whatever took their fancy. It made even less sense to restrict herself so when she was in a fight for her life, a fight she could lose. If Harold did win, the last thing she wanted to be doing in her final few minutes on earth was to be thinking
if only
. It was reckless and probably unwise to make any decision while desire heated her blood, but she was going to take all Harrigan had to offer. She was going to satisfy her own desires without a thought to the consequences. Even the possibility that she was exposing her heart to pain was not enough to stop her. If she survived, she would deal with it. If she did not, a little heartache would be the least of her problems.

“How much more?” she asked in a soft husky voice as she reached out and trailed her fingers over his stomach, enjoying the way he trembled at her touch.

“This is a dangerous game you're playing,” he said as he slowly pulled her into his arms.

“Who says I'm playing?”

“I know you're innocent, Ella, but I also know you're not stupid.”

“How you flatter me, sir. I am quite overcome.” She kissed the hollow of his throat, smiling faintly when she heard his breath catch.

Harrigan was beginning to get the feeling that he had lost control of the situation, but doggedly continued trying to make himself understood. “I want to make love to you, Ella. Kissing and this idle play is not enough. And once I get started I am not sure I'm going to be sane enough to even hear a no, let alone heed it. I want you that badly.”

“Well, I shouldn't worry about that, Mahoney,” she murmured as she straddled his body and brought her face close to his. “You won't miss me saying no because I have no intention of saying it.”

A soft squeal of surprise escaped Ella when Harrigan held her tightly and rolled over so that she was sprawled beneath him. She smiled as she curled her arms around his neck, but when she tried to pull his mouth down to hers, he tensed. Ella wondered a little crossly what was holding him back now.

“If you have any desire to hold on to your chastity, you'd better get out of this bed now,” he said, his voice husky and faintly unsteady.

“I have a desire, to be sure, and it has damned little to do with chastity.” She almost laughed at the way his eyes widened in shock.

“Ella, I'm—”

“—talking far too much.”

She yanked his mouth down to hers and kissed him. To her delight he gave up all resistance. Ella greedily accepted his fierce kiss, returning that barely restrained ferocity with her own.

When Harrigan began to kiss her throat, she curled her fingers into his thick black hair and tilted her head back. Nothing had ever felt so good. She felt only a brief unease due to the strength of her own desire, but she easily pushed that aside. There was a good chance that taking Harrigan Mahoney as her lover could cause her some pain, but she was also sure that she would have some very sweet, fiery memories to treasure.

He slowly undid the small buttons on the front of her high-necked nightgown, tenderly kissing each newly revealed patch of skin. Ella trembled with a mixture of embarrassment and anticipation when he eased open her gown, exposing her breasts. When he touched her she lost all remnants of modesty, arching to his carress. He brushed his thumbs back and forth over her nipples until they were hard and aching. She cried out softly with delight and relief as he began to soothe that ache with slow, teasing strokes of his tongue. When he enclosed one hard tip in his mouth and began to suckle, she shuddered, tightening her grip in his hair and holding him close in silent, greedy encouragement.

It was not until he pulled his mouth away from her breasts and began to trail kisses down her midriff that she realized he had removed her nightgown. He untied her pantaloons, covering her legs with gently nibbling kisses and strokes of his tongue as he eased them off her. As he moved out of her reach, she clenched her hands at her side, her eyes closed as she let herself be completely caught up in the feelings washing over her. Her whole body trembled. Every part of her that he touched was warm and alive. There was an aching inside of her, an almost painful tightening low in her belly. Ella did not think she had ever felt so good.

The minute he was in reach again, she clutched at him. He slid his hand up the inside of her thigh to stroke her intimately and she jerked from the strength of the feelings that tore through her body. As he kissed her she slid her hand down his stomach, planning to touch him in the same way. Even as her fingers brushed the waist of his drawers he caught hold of her hand and pulled it away. Ella experienced a brief check in her passion as she began to fear that she had done something wrong, offended him in some way. She cautiously looked at him but saw only an exciting look of desire and need on his face.

“I would like nothing more than to feel those soft, pretty hands touch me, but not this time,” he said, his voice little more than a raspy whisper.

“I need to make an appointment?” Ella was a little surprised that she still had the wit left to make ajoke, then realized that the invigorating feelings rushing through her put her in such a high good humor that she could not help herself.

Harrigan laughed shakily. Ella was a constant source of surprise to him and he realized that that only excited him more. Her humor also took away the small lingering doubt he had that she really understood what she was doing. She could not make jokes unless she was completely confident of her decision.

“No, you just need to wait. This time is for you, only you, although I will have a fine old time too. Don't doubt that. I barely have the control to do what I'm doing now. If you start loving me back, I will have none at all. I can't tell you how many times, as I have lain at your side, I have thought only of turning over and burying myself deep in your warmth. I still want to, but this is your first time and I know I have to go slowly.”

“I don't think you have to go as slowly as you think,” she said, touching a kiss to his forehead.

“I don't think I can wait much longer anyway.”

“For once we are in accord.”

He quickly shed the last of his clothes, easing his body back into her arms. They both trembled as their flesh met for the first time. Ella curled her body around his, moving her hands over his back as she tried to touch as much of him as possible. She did not think she had ever wanted anything as badly as she wanted him. Each touch of his hand, each kiss, made her ache until she was almost mindless.

When Harrigan began to slowly join their bodies, Ella grew still, her body so filled with anticipation that she found it hard to breathe. Then, suddenly, after one quick sharp pain, they were one. Ella heard herself cry out yet did not really feel the pain. All of her thoughts were centered on how exquisite it felt to be so close to Harrigan, as close as any man and woman could be. It was a moment before she realized that he was not moving, just lying stiff -ly in her arms as he stroked her with unsteady hands.

“Harrigan,” she said, her voice so thick and husky she barely recognized it as her own, “I may be innocent, but I believe there is a little more to this.”

He laughed a little breathlessly and brushed a kiss over her mouth. “I hope it's more than a little,” he murmured against her lips as he began to move.

Ella wrapped herself around him, trembling as he kissed her, his tongue imitating the movements of his body. She groaned his name as the aching knot inside of her tightened, then cried out as it shattered, passion washing over her with a blinding speed and ferocity. For a moment she retained enough of her senses to feel his movements grow rough, then he tensed, pushing himself deep within her as he shuddered and called out her name.

Harrigan was still feeling stunned as he gently extracted himself from Ella's grasp. He ignored her blushes when he returned to the bed with a cool, damp cloth and washed them both off. A little cautiously, he slipped back into bed, relaxing when she readily accepted him back into her arms. Despite her passion and her apparent readiness, he had still feared some sign of regret once their desire had been fed.

“Ella,” he began, idly running his hand up and down her side.

“I hope you aren't about to ask me stupid questions or want to have a deep, serious discussion,” she murmured as she rubbed her cheek against his chest. “I'm feeling quite lovely just now and that would spoil it. I think I would like life to just pass me by for a moment or two.”

“That would be nice, but—” He smiled when she groaned softly. “It's getting late, and we have to get moving.”

“And in one quiet little statement the man reminds us of all the reasons we shouldn't be here like this. I thought we agreed not to discuss Harold and Philadelphia.”

“We aren't discussing him, but not talking about it doesn't mean it all ends.”

Ella sat up and clutched the sheet to her breasts, almost smiling at the cautious look on his face. He was waiting for her to put an end to any chance that they would make love again or to cast aside their agreement and try again to talk him out of taking her back. They would be stealing moments out of time, but she did not want to do anything to stop that. The happiness they could find in each other's arms might be a false one, but it was too sweet to throw away.

“Just as our agreement and all that has happened here does not mean that I will cease to try to escape.”

“Fine, but do you think you could stop kicking me in the face when you do try?”

She laughed softly as she bent to pick up her nightgown and pantaloons. “I will try, but that might depend upon my mood.”

He slid an arm around her waist and tugged her close, kissing her on the shoulder. “Then I had best do my utmost to keep you in a very sweet mood.”

“Yes, you had best do that.”

Even as their lips touched a sharp rap sounded at the door. Ella silently cursed as reality intruded far sooner than she would have liked. Harrigan groaned as he sat up, pulled on his drawers and went to the door. While his back was turned, Ella hurried behind the privacy screen to get dressed. She felt herself blush when she heard George's voice recalling her to the fact that she and Harrigan were not really alone and might well have few moments when they could steal some privacy.