Wild on You (23 page)

Just this once
she reminded herself. One wild, decadent time with him. She wrapped her hand around his erection and pulled the tip into her mouth. It was her turn to tease him. She sucked and nipped and took him fully in, listening carefully to his breathing. When he sounded on the verge of release, his fingers mindlessly tunneling through her hair, she went back to playing. Because she didn’t want him to come like this. She wanted him inside her.

“Bang me,” she ordered, using his earlier vernacular. “Now.” At his surprised expression, she added, “Please.”

He grabbed his pants and pulled his wallet out of the back pocket, then extracted a condom. Within seconds, he had it smoothed down over his penis.

“Now you look all gift-wrapped,” she said with a grin.

“Just for you, doll.”

He picked her up, and she automatically wrapped her legs around his waist. He sat her on the cabinet that held the sink and eased into her. She gripped his shoulders as he filled her, stretched her, then pulled out to slide back in. Taking it slow for her, because he knew it had been a long time. Something more dangerous than desire filled her heart at that. She focused on the physical, much safer.

When he’d completely filled her, she got that tickly sensation deep in her belly, only stronger. He felt
good
, so good, enveloping her as he thrust in and out. Too good.

“You okay?” he asked, and she realized he’d been watching her.

She nodded and smiled. “I’m great.”

“Mm, yes, you are,” he murmured, leaning forward to kiss her. His hands slid up and down her back, making her feel secure and safe and cherished. He moved at a languid pace, apparently in no hurry to go over the edge.

No wonder she’d been all right with giving up sex. It had never been like this. Had never made her feel so alive.

Because you’ve never felt the way you do about Risk
.

One hand slid up in her hair, alighting all of those delightful pressure points with his soft strokes. Oh, geez, her pressure points were being lit up all over! She felt a quiver deep within, a foreign sensation that was at once uncomfortable and unbelievably pleasurable. He tugged her hair back, exposing her neck to him. He kissed his way from the place beneath her ear to the crook of her shoulder, then across to the hollow of her collarbone. She braced her hands on the cabinet and surrendered back. He took full advantage, his lips closing over her peak. He sucked gently, pushing that odd sensation solidly onto the unbelievably pleasurable side.

She stroked the side of his face, over his shoulder, and down his muscled biceps. Who was this woman who touched him so easily, who had put her mouth on him and
enjoyed
it? Who had given herself to him, body and soul? Some hidden part of her personality had come out to play, reveling in being in Risk’s arms, instinctively moving with him. This part of her wasn’t afraid to let him know what felt good, letting out breathy screams and panting gasps.

He picked her up and laid her on the bench, coming down to claim her mouth. He pulled one of her legs up by his hip, and she curled her foot over his lower back. Each powerful thrust drove him deeper inside her, and his kisses increased in intensity as well. She gripped the sides of his chest, feeling as though she might shoot away like a rocket if she didn’t hold on to him. Her face felt hot, her body on fire.

Then it took her, though she didn’t know what
it
was. She gasped as her insides twisted and turned. Oh, an internal orgasm!

“Addie,” he whispered, then drove one final time into her. His body shuddered, and he groaned and growled in her ear. She could feel his penis pulsing inside her, hot
and hard. He jerked her against him, which tilted them off balance on the narrow bench. They fell to the deck between the bench seats, with her landing on top of him.

His eyes held the hazy, dreamy quality of the sated. “Holy shit, Addie.” He reached up and smoothed her hair back from her face.

She blinked. “Yeah. That’s what I was thinking.”

He held out his hand, staring at it like some alien appendage. “I’m shaking.”

She didn’t know what that meant, but it clearly wasn’t normal for him. Maybe he made love to every woman this intensely, maybe even uttered an expletive afterward. But he didn’t tremble.

She sat up, straddling him. “How are we
not
going to do this again?”

Addie paced in her bedroom, rubbing her forehead. “You’ll say no, even if I beg.” She gave him a worried look. “Right?”

Risk watched her from his chair, still wanting her. He was standing on the edge of that cliff, but the urge to fall had nothing to do with chasing another temporary thrill. Or the need to feel something. Because he felt … everything. Right here, without doing anything physical. And yet this kind of falling would be the riskiest thing he’d ever done.

“Risk?”

He blinked, coming back to present. “I didn’t know it was going to be that good, Addie.”

She whirled on him. “You can’t renege. You promised. This”—she gestured to include both of them—“will ruin everything.”

He hated seeing her in distress, but he didn’t quite understand it. “What will be ruined, exactly?”

“Everything I’ve worked for. Everything I am. I don’t even know who that woman on the boat was. She was wanton and lascivious and—”

“Satisfied.” He angled his legs out in front of him, loosely crossing his arms. “She was very, very satisfied. Like she discovered what’s been missing in her life.”

“Sex?”

“Me.”

Color bloomed on her face. “Oh, no. You’re supposed to be a player. But you’re not looking at me like you’re planning on playing in someone else’s yard as soon as this is done.”

He couldn’t help smiling at the analogy. “I kinda like your yard. Even if it has a braying ass and pigs. Look, Addie, don’t panic. I’m not asking you to marry me. Hell, we’ve only known each other a few days. I’m just saying you took me by surprise. I
didn’t expect to …”

… 
fall in love with you
.

And there he went, falling right off that cliff, because that was what he’d gone and done. “Like you,” he finished.
Lame
. He wouldn’t tell her that she’d broken through his numb shell. She was already spooked. But wait. He hadn’t told her anything, so it had to be
her
response to
him
that had her all knotted up.

She knelt in front of him, angst on her face. “We were only supposed to … bang.”

Risk grimaced. “I don’t like that word coming from you.” He brushed her hair from her face. “We had mind-blowing sex. Let’s leave it at that.”

That seemed to placate her. He hadn’t called it making love, after all.

“Is it that good with everyone?” she asked.

He wasn’t going to lie. “Nope.”

“With some of them, though, right? Maybe better?”

“Nope. And if you keep kneeling in front of me like that, you’re going to give me ideas.” He pushed to his feet, gathering her hands and pulling her up with him. “We were good together. What are you so afraid of?”

She opened her mouth and seemed to struggle with her words. “I don’t know who I am when I’m with you.”

“Tell me who you are when you’re not with me. Maybe that will help.”

She pulled her hands free. “I’m … Well, I’ve got a purpose. When I’m on the phone with a senator or some zoo, or tweeting, I’m the animals’ crusader.”

“Ah, and when you’re having mind-numbing sex with me, you’re not that woman in the cape, saving all animal kind. Because you’re doing something just for yourself.”

She released a quick breath. “Yes, exactly. It feels selfish. And unproductive.”

“Actually, having orgasms is very productive. I’m serious,” he added at her skeptical look. “It increases blood circulation and expends calories. But there’s nothing wrong with doing something just for pleasure. It doesn’t have to be sex. It can be going to the movies. Taking an afternoon off and—”

“That’s how it starts. An hour here, a day there, and eventually I don’t want to make that call. I don’t care as much about my purpose because I’m caring about … something else. Or someone else.”

She was looking at him like he was that someone. He could see that it terrified her, the thought of not putting one hundred percent into her organization. So much that he tested another thought.

“Your father said you ramped up your animal rescues after your mother died. Are you trying to save your mother somehow with each animal you save?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“But you want to make it up to her. Saving the puppies was your little-girl way of making something up to her. What was it?”

She flinched as though he’d slapped her. “Who told you that?”

“Your father, when he was talking about your drive to save animals. He’s trying to understand you, Addie. And so am I. Help me.”

She turned away, trying to shut him out. “I was a kid. Who knows what I meant?”

He gently took hold of her chin, making her face him. “Do you feel responsible for her death, maybe in some subconscious way?”

Her chin quivered. She shifted her gaze away, drifting to some other place. “I used to wish that she’d be home more often,” she whispered. “That she wouldn’t work so much. Then I got my wish.”

“And you think your wish brought her illness?”

She shook her head, pulling herself back to the present. “Of course not. I know I didn’t cause her death.”

“Knowing it and feeling it are two different things. I knew logically that I didn’t have to jump off a mountain to break out of my numbness. But that never changed my need for it. That’s the thing about kids. They get ideas that stick in their heads well into adulthood.”

She crossed her arms over her chest, erecting her armor. “I think you should leave.”

He sensed that pushing too hard would backfire. After all, she could snap her fingers and he’d be replaced.

“I get that you don’t want to lose your passion for your organization. That you think if you feel it for something—or someone—else, it will be diluted. But you have enough passion for more than one thing. Hell, Addie, I’ve never seen a woman with so much of it.” He stepped closer, sensing her tighten right up. “I don’t know if you’re punishing yourself or trying to redeem yourself. I want to know, but letting me too close freaks you out. So out of respect for both my job and your wishes, I will not touch you in any provocative way.”

“Or talk to me in that flirty-but-not-overtly-flirty way.”

“Can you give me an example of what you mean? I’m not sure I understand.”

“The time that you …” Her cheeks flushed. “Just no flirting.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

She breathed out in relief, no doubt happy that he wouldn’t be providing any temptation for what she so clearly wanted. “Thank you.”

“But I feel obligated to remind you that I promised you could call the shots one time. Not when we’re engaging the enemy. Or planning a mission. You asked me what was left. If you come knocking on my bedroom door wanting anything, anything at all, and you invoke that wild card …” He shrugged. “I can’t very well renege, can I?”

She narrowed her eyes. “You had to go and say that, didn’t you?”

“I probably shouldn’t have. No, I definitely shouldn’t have. Scratch that.”

“It doesn’t matter; I won’t be knocking.”

“Good. Because that would put me in a real tight spot. My word versus my honor.” He shook his head at the thought of it, then softly tapped his knuckles to her arm. “Stay strong, Addie girl.”

After he closed the door behind him, he heard her groan of frustration.
Yeah, I feel your pain, doll
. He knew that throwing the wild card out there was bad. Bad for her resolve, bad for his professional integrity. The best approach for many reasons would be to wait until this assignment was over and then pursue her full-bore. Take his chances
that she wouldn’t push him away once she didn’t have to be in his company. For now, he had to adhere to his own promise not to touch her.

He went back to his room and tried to relax. It took him only fifteen minutes to get completely, utterly restless. He called Chase. “I’m going to hit the range. Can your security guy keep an eye on Addie?”

“Sure thing. Sax and Julian are shooting, too. I’m wrapping up a few more pieces of information on your canned-hunt guy, and then we’ll have a meeting. I’ll come get you in the range.”

“Great.” Risk hung up and grabbed his gun; annihilating some targets was just what he needed.

Chase had top-notch security measures in place. Risk felt compelled to wave at the cameras whenever he spotted them. Those cameras also lessened the temptation to grab Addie and get a little crazy in the bushes or the pool.

He pressed his finger in the reading device, got buzzed in, and nodded to the boys when he entered the shooting area. There was something oddly comforting about the sound of gunfire and the shells hitting the floor.

Julian and Sax pulled off their earmuffs, cleared their guns, and wandered over. Risk was instantly alert at their sly smiles.

“How was dinner?” Sax asked. “Nice and romantic?”

Risk had a sudden panicky thought that there was a camera on the boat. But no, he’d checked before even thinking about cutting the engine. “Just nice. Our relationship is strictly business. Platonic.” Except that sounded hollow to his own ears. Apparently to theirs as well, because they both snorted.

“Either you’re full of shit or you’re blind as shit, and I think it’s the first,” Julian said.

Sax was studying him as though he were a specimen. Risk tried like hell to keep a straight face, but he must have failed. Sax said, “Me, too. ’Cause there was nothing platonic about what was going on in the hot tub earlier. Talk, Farm Boy.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“The way she was looking at you, and the way you were looking at her …” Sax rolled his eyes. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you weren’t feeling each other up under the water.”

Julian grimaced. “You weren’t, were you? I don’t even want to think about those implications.”

“Then don’t,” Risk said. Whew, at least they didn’t know for sure. “That would be uncool, spreading my jism in the hot tub.”