Wild Kat (5 page)

If
she reached over to take his hand it would seem forward.  If she told him she
was ready to dance, that would seem forward too.  She saw how the ladies looked
at him.  It did not matter if they were young, old, married or spinster.  He
acted like he did not see it.  ‘You’re nothing but a dirty little heathen and
no man will ever want you.  You may as well be an Indian brave.’  Julie’s voice
shrieked in her mind, over and over.  Julie had been the pretty one.  She had
shy green eyes and long golden hair.  She had been curvy since Kat could
remember and all the boys chased Julie.  She had suitors lined up for her.  She
always wore pretty dresses with a corset, which added to the curves.  Kat never
bothered with that nonsense.  Julie also knew how to flutter her lashes and
exactly what to say.  Julie was papa’s little princess, and Kat was his wild
child.  She could almost hear him laugh.  They were all gone now and it was her
fault.  Mother always said tattling brought nothing but trouble.

“Are
you feeling poorly?”  Thomas asked interrupting her thoughts.

“Yes,
I think I am ready to go home.”  She kept her eyes on the dancing couples.

“Anything
you like, it looks like rain anyway.”  They said their good-byes to the
preacher and the others they passed on the way to the wagon.

“I
am stuffed, those ladies sure can cook.”  He rubbed his belly as they left
town.

“Three
pieces of pie would stuff anyone.”  She looked out over the thick grass
covering hills.  She had been watching him.   Thomas smirked Missus Braxton was
right.  “I bet Toby wonders where we went without him.”

“He’ll
be fine.”  Thomas answered. 

“We’re
going to get a nasty thunderstorm any minute now.”  Her eyes intensely watched
the fast moving clouds.

“How
can you tell?”  He looked up at the darkening sky.

“I
can smell it coming.” She took a deep breath.

“You
can what?”  He was amused, but slapped the reins in spite of himself.

“I
can smell rain coming.”  The drops started slowly and softly at first.  The
rain got harder and the drops larger as the first sound of thunder ripped
across the sky.

“Hurry
up Jack!”  Thomas shouted over the pelting rain and slapped the reins.  Huge
white streaks of lightning seared the sky.  Kat covered her ears and huddled
close to Thomas.  He wrapped a strong arm around her shoulders.  She screamed
at the boom of the storm. 
‘So there was something that scared Kat Whitley
after all.’ 
Thomas thought.  He slapped the reins harder until the horse
galloped.  “Less than half a mile now, do not worry!”  He shouted for her to
hear.  She kept her eyes squeezed shut.  Kat pressed herself as close to him as
she could.  She listened to his pounding heart, or was it her own?

Suddenly
it stopped.  The booms still echoed but the rain quit.  She realized she was
safe in the barn.  His arm was still around her.  She opened her eyes to look
up at him as his lips brushed hers. It was just a teasing little kiss the kind
a father would give. But then he kissed her again, harder this time. It
deepened, her mind whirled, and her blood rushed, his lips were firm yet soft
at once.  They moved over her own temptingly, teasing, he memorized them; he
seared his taste on them.   Her mind was blank. Her body responded on its own. 
Then as quickly as he started, he stopped.  Her eyes opened again as he was
climbing down from the wagon.  He left the barn without looking back at her. 
Her heart raced either from the thunder or from his kiss.  Kat knew not which affected
her more.

“Why
did I do that Toby?  Why did I kiss her? Was it because she was sweet today? 
Maybe because she was so lovely soaking wet.  Perhaps I am ready for her to
slit my throat.  She was just so fragile and helpless.  She was like a drowning
pup I rescued from a bag of rocks in Peterson’s Pond not so long ago.”  Toby
growled his agreement to this.  “You think I am a fool don’t you?  Well, that
makes three of us.”

Kat’s
teeth chattered noisily as she unbridled the horse.  She put him in his stall
and quickly brushed him down.  She climbed up to her hayloft.  The wind
whistled through the cracks making her small body shake.  She could not seem to
warm up.  Her hair was still wet but she had dry clothes on now.  Why did he
kiss her?  If he had kept his lips to himself, she could be by a warm fire
now.  She watched the white and gray smoke puff from the chimney.  Now if she
went in there he would think she was chasing him, “What a mess.”  She said
through her chattering teeth.  Pride was an awful thing.  She rubbed her arms
to keep warm.

Thomas
loaded the cooking stove now that the fireplace was blazing.  The house was
freezing since the rain.  He put coffee on and wondered if she had enough sense
to come in out of the cold.  He looked out the front windows to the barn.  No
sign of her.  He went out on the porch and yelled for her.  She could not hear
him over the rain.  She looked out of the hayloft and saw him on the porch.  He
waved for her to come inside.  She banished pride and hurried down from the
loft.  She raced to the house.  Thomas handed her a cup of black coffee as soon
as she was inside.

“Your
lips are blue.  Why didn’t you come in with me?”

“It’s
your house, not mine.”

“That
never stopped you before.”  She sipped her coffee.  “Look, about what happened
before...”

“It
happened, that is all.”  Her eyes were downcast.

“Yes,
but I do not want to die for it.”  Thomas blew the steaming brew.

“What?” 
She almost choked on her coffee.  Her brows raised, she was baffled.

“I
do not want my throat slit in my sleep.” His voice was low but frightened.

“I
would never do that Thomas.  That would be like a sucker punch, unfair.  If I
want to kill you, it will be a fair fight, I promise.”

“Thanks
for the warning.  More coffee?”  She held her cup out.  His gray eyes held hers
captive.  “I am not sorry about what happened.  I do not regret doing it.  I’d
do it again.”

“I
hope you will.”  Her voice barely was above a whisper.  He came around the
table and pulled her from her chair.  His mouth crushed hers passionately. Her
body molded and fitted to his nicely he noticed, she was soft against him and
did not protest to being hauled so roughly from her chair.   Kat’s knees
weakened and her heart pounded loudly.  He dropped her softly back to her seat.

“You’re
welcome to sleep in your room tonight.  It is going to get colder. 
Goodnight.”  He left a full cup of coffee on the table.  Was her kiss that
bad?  ‘Just a dirty little heathen...’ Julie told her again. 

If
the kiss lasted any longer, he would not have been able to let go.  Thomas
paced his room.  She was so beautiful.  Her mouth was soft and warm beneath his
lips.  Her firm body molded to his and fit perfectly.  He wanted her in the
worst way.  He ached for her.  His body needed hers yet his mind told him stay
away.  His soul yearned for her in a way he would not be able to control for
any length of time.

She
listened to him pace overhead.  He was much like her father when he was anxious
over something.  He only kissed her again because she asked.  A gentleman
always obliged a lady; papa said it a thousand times.  Kat fell asleep at the
table.   She woke up stiff and well after dawn.  Thomas and Toby were already
in the fields.  If she knew the truth, Thomas was out hours before dawn.  He
had not slept at all.  He stayed out all day, napping in the orchard.  He did
not return until after dark.  They avoided each other for days.  Kat knew he
did not want to see her and made herself scarce.  Thomas was afraid of losing
control.  She occupied his every thought and those glorious green eyes haunted
his dreams.  They darkened to jade when he kissed her and lightened to the
color of spring grass when she was happy.  When she was angry they went almost
yellow, the golden flecks of them growing somehow.

She
ached for his lips to cover her own just once more.  She wondered how it would
feel for him to be inside her.  To be loved the way Doug loved Julie.  Her
flesh tingled at the thought.  Why couldn’t she be as pretty as Julie was?

Kat
took the shotgun down and cleaned it.  She was loading it when Thomas came
home.  He eyed her and the gun suspiciously. 

“It’s
not for you.  I want ham for supper Sunday.  It is cold enough today I think.” 
Thomas nodded in agreement but really had no idea what temperature had to do
with it.

“Do
you know how to make sausage?”  It had been so long Thomas’ mouth watered.

“The
best, bring one of the females from the pen, I do not want to spook the
others.”  Kat shot the animal between the eyes.  She and Thomas worked together
on butchering it.  Toby played with the bladder like a ball.  He chased it all
over the barnyard scaring the chickens.

“If
you think it would be best I can go someplace else to live,” she said timidly.

“No,
I said fall and I meant it.”  He rubbed salt onto pieces ready to hang.

“Things
have changed.”  Kat wrapped them in burlap and hung the hams and ribs.

“Some,
but they always do.”  Thomas whacked a bone with his cleaver.

“They
have changed for the worse.  You cannot enjoy your home if you are never in
it.  I know you stay away because of me.  I do not want it to be this way.” 
She was hanging a piece of meat from one of the many hooks attached to the
rafters by chain.

“I
am not staying away because of you.  It’s for you.”  He looked away.

“I
do not understand, I ...” He broke in before she could finish.

“I
am having trouble controlling myself when you are near Kat.  I am not sure how
you feel about me and I know it is not right for us to be together out of
wedlock.”  She wiped her hands on a rag as she walked toward him.  The sun
shone between the log walls of the smokehouse.   She made a mental note to
patch it.   The gold lighted her skin and giving her an angelic quality.  The lighter
flecks of her eyes sparkled.

“You
mean you are not disgusted at the sight of me?”  She asked softly, she was too
close for his comfort.

“God
no!  I am hypnotized.”  His voice was rough with passion.  His arms circled her
waist as her face tipped up to his.  He kissed her deeply, nibbling at her
lips, his arms tight around her. His hands massaging her flesh through her
clothes, molding it.  His tongue entered the warm recesses of her mouth.  “This
is not the time or place for this.”  He whispered against her mouth.  “We
should know each other better.”  He kissed her again.  Her heart flopped around
in her chest like fish on her line.

“Thank
you for being so kind to me.”  Her arms dropped away from him.  “You are right
we have work to do.”  She returned to her chore of hanging the pieces he
butchered.  She smiled when he was not looking.  Thomas told her about his
childhood and his family.  She told him about her parent’s deaths.  They talked
amicably through their work, supper and while he helped her with the dishes. 
He sat beside her on the porch swing and they watched the sunset together. 
They played cards until bedtime, he went to his bedroom, and she went to her
loft.  She willed him to come to her, but he stayed in the house.  If she went
to his bedside, he would be unable to refuse.  Each dreamed of the other. 
Three more days passed before Thomas kissed her again.

“I
want you so much I ache.” He whispered.

“Me
too.”  Her eyes were closed.

“We cannot,
what would people say?”

“Who
would tell them?”  She kissed him urgently.

“No
Kat not like this, not now.  I am a gentleman, I will court you properly and
then if we decide to, we will marry.” She did not like it but accepted his
decision, for now.

Thomas
took Kat to church Sunday and to the hotel for supper afterwards.  She was
never in the hotel before.  It was built while she was in the home.  It had
fine carpet and oak paneled walls.  The lamps were polished shiny brass.  The
food was delicious and the wine made Kat’s head fuzzy.  She had never drunk wine
before. Her parents always said she was too young.  She was old enough to do
whatever she wanted now.  Louisa stopped by their table to visit Kat.  She left
the orphanage a year after Kat arrived.  She was older and already married. 
Kat saw the way Thomas looked at her.  She noticed the way Louisa’s dress fit,
clinging.  Kat asked her if she worked for the dressmaker.  Louisa’s dream had
been to open her own shop.

“I
married the tailor, Steven over there.”  She waved to her husband who was
talking to another man.  “He has his own store and he lets me run a shop out of
it.  Come see me and I will put you in the prettiest dresses you have ever
seen.”

“This
is mama’s dress.  It is a little big for me.”

“It
does not do you justice Kat, I will have him chasing you, I promise.”  She
whispered in Kat’s ear.  “It was so good to see you, come visit me soon.” 
Louisa squeezed Kat’s hand.  “It is nice to meet you Mister Woods.”  Thomas
smiled at her.