Wild and Willing! (19 page)

Considering Anna had every intention of turning up the heat on their relationship, she was completely flustered by his brief comment. She sank into the leather upholstery and the car purred into life before her breathing returned to anything approaching normality.

‘Did I lock the door?’ she fretted.

‘You did,’ he confirmed. ‘Did I mention,’ he added casually, ‘that you look incredibly beautiful tonight?’

‘As a matter of fact, no.’

‘If I rectify that matter now, am I forgiven?’

‘I’ll think about it. When a girl goes to this much trouble she expects a little recognition, you know. It took me hours—well, a long time anyway—to get like this. I honestly don’t know how Hope copes with looking glamorous permanently. Mind you, she does have better basic ingredients to work with.’

‘Probably.’ He caught the tail-end of her antagonistic glare before his eyes returned to the road ahead. ‘I feel no desire to mess up
her
clothes, though, or play havoc with her hair,’ he rasped.

‘Then you must be one of the few males under ninety who don’t,’ Anna responded with far less astringency than she’d intended. Actually she sounded decidedly hoarse.

The idea of Adam fantasising about her was more than enough to send her nervous system into sensory overload. Didn’t I begin this evening with the idea I was to be in charge of matters? she asked herself. Naive! she acknowledged in disgust. That’s what you are, Anna—naive. Where Adam Deacon is concerned you’ll always be dancing to his tune, my girl!

The restaurant attached to the exclusive hotel had a warm and intimate atmosphere. Log fires blazed despite the season, and the French doors were flung open to admit the smell of the summer night and the sound of diners eating alfresco.

‘I’ve never been here before,’ she commented after the waiter had smilingly taken their order. ‘It’s very nice. I can’t bear those places where it’s so dark you can’t see your food.’

‘I think subdued light is meant to lend a romantic ambience.’

‘I’ve nothing against candlelight,’ she said huskily, her fingers reaching out towards the flickering flames between them.

‘I’m pleased to hear it.’ He caught one fluttering hand in his and, holding her wide, dilated eyes with his gaze, raised it slowly to his lips. Erotically he touched his open mouth to the palm, sending tingling sensations up her arm. ‘I like to see what I’m doing too.’

With the best will in the world there was no way she could have read innocence in his low, gravelly tone and glittering green eyes. A slow, languorous feeling that was in direct contrast to the frantic thud of her heart swept over her.

‘You’ve done it now,’ she said with a weak smile. ‘I’ll never eat anything.’

‘Why’s that?’ Warmth and tender amusement spilled from his eyes, bathing her in a golden glow.

‘I’ve got a lump, right here.’ She touched her fingers to the base of her throat where the gold necklace gleamed.

He let go of her hand to touch the spot she indicated. With an expression of fascination he touched the blue-veined point where a pulse beat wildly. ‘I’d like to kiss you there, and there, and there, and there…’ His finger dropped lower by stages until it rested in the hollow between her breasts.

‘Adam,’
she whispered pleadingly.

‘I like it when you say my name.’ A savage edge had entered his voice. The angles and planes of his face seemed more pronounced as his eyes returned to her face, and she could see the bands of colour that highlighted the crests of his cheekbones.

‘Sir, madam…’ They drew apart as the tactful waiter delivered their food.

As she’d predicted, Anna couldn’t do the food justice. ‘How are the twins?’ she asked, trying to introduce some normality to the proceedings.

‘Hyperactive. Before you ask, Kate and Jake are also well, but none of them are a subject which particularly interests me at the moment. Did you agree to come out with me because you like my children?’

‘No.’

‘Then why, Anna? Why are you here?’ he persisted. ‘What revelation made you say yes? Or is this some act to send me right over the edge?’

‘I was miserable not seeing you.’ She spoke quickly, with none of the tranquillity she’d practised. ‘It seems foolish to…deny. God, I’m doing this all wrong!’ she wailed, moving restlessly in her seat. Her darting eyes focused on the exit.

‘Calm down.’ His voice refocused her attention.

‘I think what I’m trying to say is, I’m prepared to compromise,’ she said quietly. What had seemed simple when she’d made the decision was suddenly incredibly difficult. She was encouraged by the odd lack of emotion in his own expression. ‘You said the best way to exorcise an obsession was to face it.’

A flicker of something that approached anger entered his eyes. ‘What if I was wrong…?’

‘Surely not,’ she responded with a touch of wry humour. ‘Adam Deacon, wrong? Isn’t that a contradiction in terms?’

‘What if it has the opposite effect?’ he added, ignoring her gentle taunt.

She gave a wary smile. She was pinning all her hopes on that scenario being true. He
had
to be shown that the awful, predatory Jessica was not the woman for him. She had to let him see that
she
loved him without appearing possessive. It was a delicate balance.

Anna didn’t believe it was coincidental that Adam had chosen Jessica. Jessica didn’t know him well enough to intrude upon the part of himself he kept private, and that was what Adam wanted. All this precluded Anna making
a passionate declaration that would send him running for cover. A simple ‘I love you’ was definitely a non-starter.

‘Is that your way of telling me you’ve changed your mind? You don’t want to be lovers?’ She wanted to be his lover for the rest of her life, but there were limits to the amount of honesty she judged he could take.

A spasm of panic corkscrewed through her. She was pinning an awful lot on him finding her irresistible. After all, he had never even once hinted that he felt anything other than lust for her. Aren’t you being a little unrealistic? she asked herself. What could a man like Adam Deacon see in you that would make him drastically alter his future? If you want a flower to bloom, she thought determinedly, you have to give it the right conditions.

‘You can ask me that?’ he breathed incredulously. ‘When you take down the barriers, Anna, you do it very thoroughly.’

‘Am I going too fast for you?’ she enquired innocently. The fierce look he shot her made her inadvertently bite her tongue. ‘Ouch,’ she cried.

‘What’s wrong?’ he growled in concern.

‘I bit my tongue.’

‘Don’t worry, I’ll kiss it better.’

‘What are you doing?’ she asked in alarm as he got to his feet and took her none too gently by the arm. She dropped her napkin on the floor as he half dragged her from the table.

‘I’m taking you to my room. Sorry, didn’t I mention I had a room here?’ He flashed an insincere smile at the wine waiter as he bustled her past.

‘You didn’t.’

‘Am I going too fast for you?’ His honeyed tone was laced with sarcasm.

‘The lift…’ she protested weakly as he walked straight past it.

‘If I get you into a lift I’ll make love to you there,
and whilst that would be gratifying I’d prefer a bit more room for manoeuvre.’

‘The stairs will be fine,’ she gulped, giving a sickly smile. This is what I wanted, isn’t it? she thought. She panted to keep up with him as his long legs took the stairs at a breakneck pace.

CHAPTER NINE

‘W
ELL
, isn’t this nice?’ Anna said brightly, looking around the large room.

‘Marvellous,’ Adam agreed, taking off his jacket and throwing it on the bed. He loosened his tie and flicked on a bedside lamp before switching off the main light.

‘Have you stayed here before?’

‘Come to me, Anna.’ His voice was rich and warm; it made her insides disintegrate and brought a stinging heat to the back of her heavy eyelids.

She slid the high-heeled shoes from her feet and wriggled her free toes in the deep pile of the carpet. ‘We didn’t eat dinner.’ She watched his still figure with an ambiguous mingling of trepidation and longing. ‘What will people think?’

‘They’ll think I’ve dragged you up here because I couldn’t wait another second to make mad, passionate love to you. Before you mention it I think the decor is insipid,’ he said smoothly, ‘and I don’t want to watch television.’

‘I wasn’t going to say that!’ she cried indignantly.

‘You weren’t so nervous downstairs.’

God, she’d raised his expectations pretty high, she acknowledged with a sinking heart. He was going to expect some expert seductress and what had he got? ‘I’ve not recently… I think I should tell you… Oh, hell,’ she cried, wringing her hands.

‘Are you trying to tell me you’re a virgin?’ he joked, expecting the question to lighten the tension she was emanating.

‘Not technically,’ she said, after giving the question some consideration.

‘How can you not
technically
be a virgin?’ he asked in an odd, choked voice. It hadn’t even crossed his mind that anyone with such unstudied sensuality could be inexperienced. He was shocked, but he also felt a chauvinistic surge of greedy pleasure that he would be the first one. He wasn’t going to let a mere
technicality
ruin that prospect. He almost pitied a man who could be thus dismissed.

‘I think you might be shocked,’ she said with a deep sigh. She cringed from recalling the whole messy episode. It wasn’t something she was particularly proud of, but she had been very young at the time and she was inclined to forgive her lapse rather than dwell on the negative aspect.

She had learnt one thing—sex without a deep emotional bond was a barren experience. She was older now and, hopefully, wiser. She’d fallen in love! It was about time she learnt to put the two together.

‘I think you’ll find I’m difficult to shock,’ he observed, studying her pensive face.

‘When I was dancing I had this friend. He was…is a dancer, quite famous now. We both joined the company at the same time. We sort of hung out together.’ She shot him a swift, half-defiant look from under the sweep of her lashes. ‘We were at a party one night and everyone else was paired off. We ended up in bed together. He’d drunk too much and I liked him a lot.’

She closed her eyes and continued in a rush. She didn’t want to sound as if she was trying to justify the decision she’d made that night. As decisions went it hadn’t been one of her best! The pressure Paul had brought to bear was no excuse in her mind. She could have stopped him if she’d really wanted to.

‘If you must know I think I was curious. I mean everyone was always talking about it—sex—and I wanted to
know what I was missing. So I’m not a virgin; at least I don’t think so.’

‘Couldn’t you tell?’ he asked, watching her with an expression of fascination.

‘Well, things went pretty disastrously wrong. It was my fault.’ She decided to make a clean breast of the matter. ‘I wrecked things.’

‘How did you manage that?’ he asked with a faint quiver in his voice.

‘I laughed. Not a gentle chuckle, but full-blown, helpless, hysterical laughter,’ she confessed gloomily. ‘At the worst possible moment,’ she confided darkly. ‘I couldn’t help it. The whole thing seemed so ridiculous.’ She looked to him for recognition of this fact. ‘But he never spoke to me afterwards, which is pretty damned difficult when you have to dance with someone. I thought I’d better warn you that I’m not exactly accomplished.’

There was a long silence. ‘Why have you got your eyes closed?’ By the sound of his voice he’d come a lot nearer.

Was he
stupid
? ‘Because I’m bloody embarrassed,’ she hissed from between clenched teeth.

‘Do you always tell the truth, Anna?’ he asked with laughter in his voice—but it wasn’t unkind laughter. She let him take the hand she’d covered her eyes with without a struggle.

‘No, I don’t,’ she admitted honestly. The tip of his tongue flicked across her closed eyelids and a long, sibilant hiss escaped the confines of her dry throat. ‘I suppose you’re disappointed?’ she said, steeling herself for his annoyance. ‘A person has to learn some time,’ she added defiantly.

‘That’s indisputable,’ he agreed readily. ‘I’m amazed you’re willing to undergo such a—how did you put it?—ridiculous experience all over again.’ He cupped her face in his hands and tilted her chin up towards him.

‘I wasn’t devastated or emotionally scarred or anything.
I just came to the conclusion it was safer to put any spare passion into my dancing,’ she told him. ‘It was a bit of an anticlimax really. I’d like to think I learned something from it, but that could be wishful thinking. Liking isn’t really enough, is it?’ She felt her knees buckle as he stroked the side of her face with his forefinger and moved his other hand up and down the length of her spine.

‘And you don’t
like
me?’ Despite his casual tone she could feel his hard muscles rippling with tension.

‘Only occasionally.’ She licked her dry lips and instigated a meltdown in his green eyes. ‘I’m never indifferent to you, though.’ As understatements went that was a classic.

‘Is that good?’ He pulled her pliant body close enough for her to appreciate the urgency of his arousal.

‘Not at two in the morning when I can’t sleep,’ she murmured throatily, allowing her head to fall back as his teeth grazed the base of her throat. A deep moan vibrated in his throat.

‘The question is,’ he said, raising his chin and staring down into her half-closed eyes, ‘can I pass your test, or will you laugh at my efforts?’

‘You mean laughter is out completely?’ she asked, entering into the spirit of the thing. She widened her eyes with dismay and gave a small shriek as he bent her backwards from the waist and swung her around in a full circle.

‘You’re amazingly supple.’ He lifted her feet clear of the floor and carried her over to the bed. ‘It has endless possibilities,’ he commented wickedly just before he dropped her unceremoniously onto the well-sprung mattress. She fell back, laughing, but also wondering just how serious he was.