Wicked Nights With a Proper Lady (18 page)

While she recognized the things she wanted, she knew how to hold herself back from temptation.

She turned the corner on the top landing and headed in the direction of her room. The lights in the hallway were dim, so she ran her finger along the wall, counting the doors till she reached her room.

She bumped into someone quite forcefully and let out a little yelp as her limbs tangled with the other late-night wanderer.

“Shush,” her cousin whispered. “You’ll have everyone coming out of their room to see what the commotion is and they’ll find us wandering the halls at this hour.”

Charlotte placed her forearm under Genny’s and hauled her to her feet.

“What are you doing out here? It’s past midnight.”

“I should ask you the same thing, Genny. I couldn’t sleep and when I went to your room you weren’t there.”

“I went to the kitchen for a snack. And since when do you have trouble sleeping?”

“We can’t stand out in the corridor.” Charlotte dragged her farther down the hall and pulled them both into Genny’s room.

Genny looked her cousin over. She wore her nightclothes and a light wrapper. A cap was pulled over her hair, and a few of the rag-tied curls fell around her shoulders becomingly. Of course her cousin looked lovely even when in her bedclothes.

Charlotte appeared to be all right, so why had she come looking for Genny in the middle of the night, when she’d never done so before?

“Are you ill?”

“I’m well enough. I needed to talk to you.”

Genny took her cousin’s hand and led her into her bedchamber. She drew back the coverlet on her bed. “Did you want to stay the night?”

Charlotte nodded her head.

“What’s wrong?”

“I was thinking about Mr. Warren. And it put me in such a tizzy that I just couldn’t bear to be alone.” Charlotte crossed her arms over her middle and rubbed both arms as though she were cold. Her cousin was truly upset. “I don’t want to marry him, Genny. I don’t know if there is something you can say to convince my father that this isn’t the right match for me, but I am begging for your help.”

When Charlotte stepped into the light of the freshly lit candle, Genny noticed her cousin’s tear-streaked face and the dark circles under her eyes.

She opened her arms and gathered Charlotte close. “What brought this on?”

“Papa sent a note to say that my engagement will be announced on our return home, and I kept thinking how I didn’t want to marry Mr. Warren. I really can’t bring myself to say yes.”

“He’s a fine man, Charlotte, and he’s been very kind to you throughout your courtship.”

Charlotte’s hands stopped moving for a moment and a look of unhappiness fell over her face. “And what if I’ve fallen in love with someone else?”

Genny felt her heart stop in her chest. This was the second time Charlotte had mentioned love.

“How could you possibly—” If this had anything to do with Castleigh, she’d personally strangle the man, or at least find someone to do it for her.

“I don’t know what I feel, I just know I don’t love Mr. Warren.” Charlotte’s tone was plaintive.

Was it possible her cousin had fallen in love with another? If it wasn’t Castleigh, who else could it be?

“How do you know you won’t feel that with Mr. Warren?”

“He won’t be any fun if I marry him.” Charlotte frowned. “He’ll probably send me to the country and keep me hidden from the world so I don’t cause any trouble.”

“Because you aren’t the type to cause trouble,” Genny teased, in the hope that she could lighten the mood and cheer up her cousin’s spirits.

Charlotte’s laugh was weak and lifeless. “I can’t help it. And I feel all sick inside when I think of becoming his wife.”

“You won’t know what Mr. Warren is like until you marry him.”

“And isn’t that the problem? Because by then it’ll be too late.” Charlotte wiped her damp eyes on the sleeve of her night wrap. Genny reached for a fresh handkerchief on her night table and handed it to her cousin. “Sometimes I want nothing more than to run away.”

“Stop with this nonsense.” Genny put her arms around her cousin, hugging her and rubbing her back soothingly. “You wouldn’t like life nearly as much as you think if you weren’t part of all the balls and glamor.”

“I think I might like it well enough if it meant I didn’t have to marry a man I can’t picture myself living with for the rest of my life.”

“Oh, Charlotte. Do you know how many young ladies would like to wear your slippers for even one night?”

Charlotte’s forehead puckered. “Why should they want that?”

“Because you have so much that so many don’t. Your dowry is exceptional; your upcoming nuptials will be the talk of Town.”

“I don’t want any of it.” Charlotte flopped down on the bed, and lay on her side. “I just want to be happy. And the thought of marrying Mr. Warren makes me incredibly unhappy.”

“You can find happiness in marriage.” Genny curled her feet up on the bed so she lay face-to-face with her cousin. “If you are miserable going into a marriage, then you will make both your lives a trial. But if you go in with an open heart and a willingness to try, then life will treat you both kindly.”

Charlotte closed her eyes and wiped what seemed like the last of her tears away. They lay oddly in her bed for a few minutes before Charlotte opened her eyes again, appearing much calmer.

“Can I ask you something deeply personal?”

“I will answer to the best of my ability.” What remained unsaid was that if the question was too personal or the answer too risqué, she might very well be forced to defer her response to another day.

“Do you regret not marrying?” Charlotte asked softly.

A sad smile touched Genny’s lips. “I suppose that would be burning most in your mind.”

Charlotte nodded.

“You have to understand that I was not in the same position as you.”

“But you had offers. Lady Carleton told Ariel and me that you were a diamond even without your dowry and that gentlemen once fawned their attentions on you.”

Yes, they had, but none of them had been as interesting to her as Barrington had.

“Why would you turn down offers of marriage at all to become a companion?”

It would be hypocritical to say that she had wanted to marry for love. It would also give away the true feelings she once harbored for a man who never wanted something of a permanent nature with her.

“While I was fine to dine and dance with, I was not necessarily considered good marriage material. Many lords are looking for a large dowry for their titles and estates. I had nothing to offer to a marriage.”

“So I’m only marrying because of my dowry?”

Genny reached out and squeezed her cousin’s hand. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Even with my dowry, I do not have many suitors.”

“If you had another season, you would. But you are still quite young in some gentlemen’s eyes.”

“Well, pooh.”

Charlotte’s spirit seemed to be back up. Actually, it was odd that this upset her cousin at all since nothing generally overwhelmed her.

“You haven’t answered my question,” Charlotte pointed out.

Could the truth do any damage? The truth hadn’t done Genny any favors in the long run, and maybe Charlotte would understand that and realize she had no choice but to do her father’s bidding.

“I know you might not believe this, and it seems even a bit cruel to tell you when I’ve told you not to marry for this reason, but I thought myself in love with someone.”

Charlotte sat up and stared at her with that curious gaze of hers. She was assessing Genny and figuring out another damnable piece to the puzzle she wanted to solve.

“It was Barrington, wasn’t it?” Charlotte asked.

Oh, dear. Genny shouldn’t have said anything. She didn’t need her past feelings analyzed by her cousin. “As you can see, I did not marry for love. And while I enjoy nothing more than spending time with family and having had the opportunity to get to know my aunt as well as I did, I still crave marriage and a family of my own. This is not a life for you, Charlotte. I came from few prospects. It was a miracle that I had one season, let alone three.”

“You’re evading my question.”

“It’s best that way.”

“Did he know?”

It was a fact that she’d never shared her true feelings with him, but she’d been unsure how to do it and there was no one who could give her advice when she was having an illicit affair with the man.

Telling Charlotte the truth no longer seemed like an ideal plan. “He didn’t notice me enough to care at the time. It was a foolish fancy on my part. And I daresay, it may not have been love at all, but an infatuation with a handsome young lord who had more charm than all the gentlemen I knew put together. He did not return my feelings.” Not that he had ever confided in her what he felt.

“He certainly lavishes his attention on you now.” Charlotte scrutinized Genny for a long quiet moment. “What information are you intentionally holding back from me, cousin?”

“You are reading too much into this. Barrington and I had an easy friendship, and he is only being kind to me because we do know each other. Although his reputation might leave something to be desired, he has a kind heart.”

“So, you loved Barrington, and because you were friends, and only friends, he never thought to offer for you.”

“I never expected him to offer.”

“Something doesn’t fit in your story. You could save yourself the trouble and tell me what you are leaving out.”

“I have given you an answer, Charlotte. There are very few people in our circle of family and friends that have married for love.”

“Lady Carleton did.”

Genny pressed her fingers to her eyes in frustration. Her cousin was impossible. Genny stood from the bed and held out her hand. “It’s time to get you to bed, don’t you think?”

Her cousin looked vulnerable and alone when she glanced back at Genny.

“Can I stay in here for a while longer?”

Genny turned down the rest of the bedding. “I’m told I’m a dreadful snorer, so if you can put up with that, you are welcome to stay the night.”

Charlotte gave her a warm smile and climbed under the covers with her. “Thank you, Genny. You’ve given me more tonight than anyone has ever offered on this topic.”

“You’re welcome,” she said, snuffing the light, not sure that she’d done any such thing. What insight could her cousin take from this? Was it possible Charlotte would be happy playing the same role Genny played in life? She didn’t think so.

Chapter 13

Rumor has it that an illicit affair has started between a lady of notable peerage and a much younger man below such distinction. What would happen if the lady’s husband were made aware of this noted indiscretion? She seems to have made it her lifelong goal to see to the ruin of no less than half a dozen ladies of good breeding, who did no more than fall victim to the charm of men better ignored. It is on days like these that this writer has the strong urge to no longer protect those carefully mentioned within these rags. Why shouldn’t it be my choice to print their full, true names?

The Mayfair Chronicles, July 23, 1846

Charlotte and Ariel walked up ahead of her with Mr. Torrance between them. Genny followed at a slower pace. They’d been planning this morning’s jaunt to the creek since last evening over sherry in the parlor. Genny had a feeling that the young man had taken a liking to Ariel. She wondered if Ariel was free to marry whomever she desired. While Lady Ariel’s dowry was decent, it did not bring as much to a marriage as Charlotte’s.

The three of them were a good twenty paces ahead of her, wholly focused on their surroundings and not her. They were far enough away that she could not hear or intrude on their conversation.

The life of a chaperone was a little lonely. But at the same time, she had the perfect opportunity to think over her conversation with Barrington last night.

When they stopped to admire a patch of wildflowers, Genny stilled, too, wanting to give them as much privacy as possible.

Reaching into her pocket for her book, she backed up a few steps to find a bench while Charlotte and Ariel perched themselves on the edge of a similar stone bench near the streambed that ran through the property.

She bumped into a solid, steady figure. Turning around, she almost lost her footing, but Leo caught her around the arms and kept her from teetering over.

His hands trailed the length of her arms in a caress that was anything but innocent, and then he released her to stand on her own.

She pressed her hand to her heart. “You scared me half to death, Barrington. It’s not polite to approach someone without making your presence known.”

“I merely wanted to surprise you.” He gave her a cocky grin. “And to get my hands on you at least once this morning.”

“You’ve definitely done both.”

When she sat on the bench, he indicated the empty seat next to her. “Might I join you for a spell?”

“By all means. It’s not as if you’ll leave me alone if I say otherwise.”

“Too true, princess.”

He plucked the small leather-bound book from her hands and read the spine.

“The Mysteries of Udolpho,”
he read aloud with interest. “I never took you for a reader of gothic novels.”

“What should I be reading?”

“Perhaps a book on proper decorum for young ladies? You seem intent on being above reproach where your cousin is concerned … and about our past.”

She grabbed at her book, but he pulled it away before she could get her hands on it. “If you continue to insult and mock me, I will have to ask you to leave my company immediately.”

“You should take pity on me, Miss Camden, I am after all an unfortunate beast that needs your gentle guidance.”

“Unreasonable, not unfortunate.”

“Is that what I am, then.” He laughed. “What would I do if you weren’t around to keep my head on straight?”

“You’d suffer from stupidity, as most men do.”

“You are a never-ending source of amusement.”

“I’m glad you think so.” She held out her hand. “May I please have my book back?”