Wicked Hungry (2 page)

The streetlights are coming on now.

“So what’s this about the full moon?” Karen asks.

“Weird stuff happens to me on the nights with the full moon. My mother doesn’t believe in coincidences. She believes in magic. In the power of the moon.”

“But you don’t believe in all that, do you? In witchcraft?”

I shrug. “Sometimes I don’t know what I believe.”

“Me, neither, I guess.”

“That’s normal, though, right? For Unitarians?”

She shrugs. “Yeah, I guess. I mean, look at you. Your Mom. Zach. Me.”

Why does religion have to be so complicated in my church? I mean, Enrique and his family are Catholics. They go to church and they know what to believe. Jonathan and his family are Episcopalians. At least they know they believe in God. My parents though are into Earth-based Judaism and all forms of mysticism and tree hugging. And though that sometimes seems too much to handle, it’s not all. My mother is also a witch, and has regular meetings with other like-minded Wiccans at our church. Because we are also Unitarians, like Karen and Zach.

“I’m sorry about Mom being creepy,” I say. “She likes to squint at people. I think she’s looking to recruit people for her coven.”

“It’s okay, I guess,” she says. “But does she do that to all your friends?”

“All my friends?” I ask. “What, you mean you and Enrique?”

“I thought I was the loner.”

“That’s just because you hang out with Zach. All the time.”

“Yeah, well, Zach and me called it quits.”

“Yeah, right,” I say. “I’ve heard that before.”

She shakes her head. “No, this time it’s really over. As far as the relationship goes. And I won’t be seeing him at track practice either, unless this shoulder gets better. But what about you? Don’t you and Jonathan still hang out?”

“You didn’t hear?”

She shakes her head.

“Jonathan’s at camp. Learning how to draw manga and speak Japanese.”

“Where? In Boston? New York City?”

I shake my head. “Japan. For all summer. He’s even going to miss the first week of school.”

“No way,” Karen says. “How did he convince his parents to let him go?”

“You know that’s all he’s been interested in since fifth grade. Japanese movies, Japanese graphic novels.”

“Yeah, but still. That must cost a fortune.”

“His parents have the money. Have you seen their house? I just wish he had more time to write. He seems to be spending all his time drawing and speaking Japanese.”

“Maybe he’ll be the first black man to write a graphic novel in Japanese.”

“Maybe he will,” I say.

With Jonathan, you never know. The boy is full of surprises.

“But you know,” she says. “You didn’t answer my question. Does your mother squint at Enrique like that? Or Jonathan?”

“They’re not Unitarians,” I say. “And they’re boys. No boys in a coven.”

She grins. “You could be wizards, couldn’t you?”

“Yeah, we just need cauldrons and magic wands. And then we’re off to Hogwarts. Anyway, I haven’t had anyone over lately.”

“If I’d known you were this lonely I would have called you sooner.”

Am I imagining it, or is there something wicked in her smile? Is she flirting with me?

“What did you want to talk about, then? Zach?”

She shakes her head. “I’m so sick of him, I don’t even want to complain about him.”

“What then?”

“Later, we’ll talk about it. Right now, there’s something else I wanted to show you,” she says. “Something I made.”

She stops and pulls it out.  

I squint. It’s hard to see in the near dark.

“It’s a friendship bracelet. Made out of hemp.”

“
Sweet
,” I say.

“I’m glad you like it,” she says. “Because it’s for you.”

“I haven’t seen you for months,” I say, “and now you make me a bracelet? I don’t know what to say.”

“Then just put it on, you idiot. It’s not like I’m asking you out or something.”

She waits as I tie it around my wrist. The hemp feels good and scratchy, somehow, like it grounds me. I could use some grounding, what with the moon glowing up above me. My teeth ache. Sometimes, on nights of the full moon, my gums bleed. Right now, though, there’s just an ache in my teeth and an itch in my palms. I concentrate on the hemp rubbing my wrist and try to forget the rest.

We keep walking. We are approaching Burger King, and the smell of charred meat is stronger. Ugh. But I’m so hungry I get a cramp, and I bend over right there in the street.

Karen stops. “You okay?”

I nod through clenched teeth. “Yeah, I guess so. I’m just really hungry.”

“You always bend over in the street when you’re hungry?”

“No,” I say, through clenched teeth. “This is kind of new.”

“Maybe you need to eat some meat.”

“Ha, ha,” I say, straightening up, still clutching my stomach.

“You sure you’re okay?”

“I don’t know,” I say. “It’s not just the cramps. I’ve been having these cravings.”

“Cravings? For what?”

“You won’t tell anyone?”

“Who am I going to tell, Stanley?”

“I don’t know? My parents? Or Zach, maybe?”

Karen’s face clouds over. “I told you. Zach and I are completely over.”

“You said that last time.”

“Yeah, well, this time it’s for real. And I promise I won’t tell
anyone.
”

“You promise.”

“I, Karen Maloney, do solemnly swear not to tell anyone about Stanley Hoff’s cravings. Whatever the hell they are. Satisfied, or do you want to pinky promise?”

I hold out my hand. “Yeah,” I say. “This is definitely pinky promise worthy.”

We intertwine pinkies. It feels good, except why is her pinky so cold?

“So?” she asks.

“I’m craving Burger King.”

She laughs, and I just glare at her.

“Sorry,” she says, “But that is kind of normal, isn’t it? I mean, how many other fast food places have anything you can even eat?”

“No. I mean, I have this nightmare... about eating something I can’t eat. About eating a Whopper.”

She snorts through her nose. “Stanley?” she says. “What are you afraid of? My coupon? I mean, what terribele things will happen if you eat a Whopper? You going to turn into some kind of meat-eating monster?”

“Laugh all you want, but some nights I wake up in a cold sweat.”

She snorts.

“Thanks,” I say.

“You said, ‘Laugh all you want.’”

“Yeah, but I was hoping you wouldn’t laugh.”

“Sorry,” she says. “Anyhow, I’m one to talk.”

“What do you mean?”

“I have these dreams—kind of like nightmares, too. No, it’s too weird,” she says, biting her lip. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me,” I say. “I mean, I already told you about my Whopper night sweats. It’s your turn.”

“Fine,” she says. “In my dreams, I touch people.”

“You touch people? What’s the matter with that?”

“It’s that when I touch them, bad things happen.”

“So what are you saying? Now you’re afraid to touch people? Because of a dream?”

“Not just one dream, Stanley. It’s like every night, and it’s not just the dreams. I knew you wouldn’t understand.”

“I’m sorry,” I say. “I am trying. Does this have something to do with breaking up with Zach?”

She shakes her head, violently. “No,” she says. “This has been going on all summer.”

“But you touched him over the summer, right?”

“What are you, twelve?” she asks. “Yeah, I touched him.”

“Sorry,” I say.

“You think this is silly, don’t you? That I’m playing around? I swear I’m not, Stanley. Though I don’t know why anyone would believe me.”

“I just don’t understand—what’s the problem? If you want to touch other people, why can’t you just—”

“What? Reach out and touch someone?”

“Yeah,” I say, soft again. “I mean, we just pinky promised, after all.”

“You’re different. At least I hope you are.”

“But you and Zach—”

“We had this big fight. I got real angry, and he called me a bunch of names: ‘polluter,’ ‘carnivore,’ ‘unclean,’ and I got so angry. I called him some names myself, then, like ‘fascist,’ ‘extremist,’ and good old ‘asshole,’ and he pushed me. I kind of grabbed his arm, twisted it. It was like, if I hadn’t held back, I could have broken it? Though I didn’t, did I? But now he seems to think I’m some kind of psycho.”

“I’m not afraid of you.”

“Maybe you should be.”

“What do you mean?” I ask. “Zach was an asshole, you had a fight, and now you’re
dangerous
?”

“It’s not just the fight. It’s what I can do.”

“What you can do?”

“You really want me to tell you?”

“You don’t have to talk about it,” I say. “It’s all right with me if you don’t want to touch people.”

We walk some more. The air is cold, my knee aches with every step, and now Karen is mad at me. I would do anything to see her smile right now.

“You need a hug?” I blurt out.

Immediately, I can’t believe I’ve said it. What’s the matter with me? She almost breaks Zach’s arm, she’s afraid to touch people, and now I offer her a hug? On the other hand, she did offer me a friendship bracelet, and don’t friends give each other hugs?

She bites her lip. “I don’t know.”

We stand on the sidewalk for a moment, neither one of us moving.

“So you don’t want a hug, then?” I ask her. “No strings attached.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Well, what, then?”

“I’m still kind of mad. But you’re really not afraid of me?”

I shake my head.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Don’t be silly, Karen. A hug never hurt anyone.”

“But
I
hurt people,” she says. “I don’t understand what’s going on.”

Still she moves toward me, and then she’s in my arms. She smells sweet, like roses. Red roses. I hold her, and she holds me tight. After a moment I feel the tension drain from her.

“You smell good,” I say.

“It’s called taking a shower, Stanley. You should try it.”

Taking a shower makes you smell like roses? I can almost taste them. But I let her go and she backs up. There’s a tear in one eye, and I want to reach up and touch it with my finger.

But she reaches out first and touches my neck.

For a moment I forget the moon up above me. There is nothing but Karen’s cold fingers on my neck and her lips there in front of me.

Are we going to kiss?

“Shit,” Karen says. “Here comes Zach.”

“Where?” I ask.

But then she’s kissing me.

And there’s nothing else. Just her lips. On mine.

I pull away. Her lips were cold, but my face is hot.

“You are
not
using me to make Zach jealous.”

She smirks. “No, I was just using you.”

“What do you mean, ‘using me?’”

“You’re a comfort,” she says. “Like comfort food, you know?”

“What am I, a hamburger and fries?”

“I was thinking more, a Whopper and a Coke. What’s the matter, you didn’t like it?”

“Yeah,” I say. “As long as I’m not rebound boy.”

“Not at all,” she says. “Anyway, he was too far away to see... I think.”

“You think?”

“You can never be sure with Zach. He always comes along when you least expect it. I bet he has those stupid vitamin supplements with him, too.”

“Vitamins?”

“You’ll see,” she says with a sigh.

How did she spot him so far away? But I can see him now, too, walking up to us. His golden blond hair and toothy leer are unmistakable.

“Stanley.”

“Uh, hi, Zach. How’s it going?”

“It’s been a while.”

“You’ve been busy.”

“Yeah,” he says. “I have. The cross-country team misses you, you know that?”

“Don’t start, Zach,” Karen says.

“No, it’s okay,” I say. “I mean, I miss the team, too, I guess. I just have some issues to take care of.”

“Issues? That’s just what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“What could he know about it?” Karen says. “Don’t listen to him.”

“I’ve got some stuff I need to tell you, Stanley.” He glances at Karen. “But keep the meat eater away from me, okay?”

“I won’t touch you again, Zach,” Karen says. “Even if you beg me.”

Zach looks at me. “You should stay away from her, too.”

“Why?” I ask him. “What’s it to you, anyway?”

“Something’s the matter with her, and she won’t let anyone help.”

“Don’t you have somewhere to go?” Karen says.

“Obviously you can see she’s in denial.”

“Zach,” I say. “Enough already.”

“No, seriously, she needs help.”

“Look, Zach, we were going to get something to eat,” I say.

“You can’t just give me a minute? I wanted to tell you about the supplements.”

“The vitamins?” I say.

“Supplements, not vitamins,” he says. “You have to take them several times a day, but man, they are great.”

“I still don’t get it,” Karen says. “Are they even FDA approved?”

“You know what, Karen? Screw the FDA. You think the FDA will protect you? They’ll just fill you full of chemicals.”

“Then how do we know they’re safe?” Karen asks.

Zach ignores her this time: he’s already holding out a bottle for me to see. “ETERNAL CLEANSE,” it says.

“It’s good for everything,” he says. “For your health. For your hunger. And it will help in school. Help you concentrate. Even help with the moon.” He winks at me.

“What are you implying?”

“Stanley, we both know you’ve been having trouble with the moon since, like, forever.”

My teeth ache and I taste blood. My palms itch. Is my body agreeing with him? Calling out for these pills? I fight the urge to look up, because I can feel it: the clouds are gone. And even though it was true, what I told my mom, that the moon wasn’t full, it’s still big. Huge. Awesome.

“Look, Zach,” Karen says. “Stanley just told you we were going to get something to eat.”

His eyes narrow. “You aren’t going to Burger King, are you?”

“Just for a veggie burger,” I say. “Some fries, maybe, and a Coke.”

He shakes his head. “Dude, you need to clean out your system. Even a veggie burger will just add to your toxin load. These supplements, though? Maximum detox. And maybe, I think the chances are good...” He looks at me, his eyes shining.