Wicked Destiny (4 page)

“Alright
, break it up. As much as I would love to watch this, I need to get your registers. Oh, and Sloane, don’t run off before I speak to you.”

Irritation filled my eyes and Shay saw it too
, so she tugged at my hair before I answered him, “Can’t we do this tomorrow? It’s late as it is.” 

“No
, I seriously need to talk to you.”

“Fine.” L
ooking at Shay, I knew she could read me like a book. I gave her that ‘help me’ plea and man did she run with it.

“Sloane has to give me a ride
, Jared.”

“No
, she doesn’t. Dale and Mindy are waiting on you outside.” He didn’t even look at her.

“Well
, I tried. Will you grab my tips for me?” She poked out her pouty lips.

“Yea
h, yeah, yeah. Go and see if Dale will look around your place before he drops you off.”

She gave me another quick hug
good-bye and I watched her leave. I knew Dale and Mindy would make sure she got home safe. Looking around the club, there were now only two bar backs, one bouncer, and a couple of waitresses left to clean up while Jared did his nightly countdown. Sitting there waiting, I sat on the VIP leather sofa and laid my head back with my eyes closed. Reluctantly, I thought of Viktor. His smile tormented me; it was just too inviting and alluring. Maybe it was a good thing that I didn’t see him leave with the girl. I hardly knew the man and here I was just obsessing over him. What would tomorrow be like when I saw him?  Would there be awkwardness between us? Random thoughts kept pouring into my head, and then suddenly I felt a body sinking into the sofa next to me and the moment of interrogating began.

“What’s the deal with you and that guy?”

“Jared, first explain to me why it’s any of your business.”

“Come on
, Sloane. You know how I feel about you. You can’t look at me and say you weren’t considering us before opening that door.”

“You
are one hundred percent correct. I did consider it. And then it hit me—you can’t be alone for one night. Jared, it’s just best that this,” I said, waving my hands between us, “remains whatever the hell it is, because it would never work out in the end.”

“What do you mean?
You’d quit on me?”

I laughed at the thought of me quitting
. “No, silly rabbit. I meant you’d leave to get away from me, and this club wouldn’t run right without you. Before you get upset, this is a compliment. I think we should just remain friends.”

“
See, all that cockiness is what drives me crazy.”

With that
, he leaned in and kissed me, and for some odd reason I didn’t pull away, either.  Once he realized I’d given in and wasn’t running away, I felt both his hands caress my face. It was passionate and it felt right, well, at that moment anyway. While sitting on the sofa in our moment together, not caring who was there to witness it all, we still didn’t stop after hearing the words, “I quit,” being yelled, either. I was sure it was his entertainment from earlier. The kiss eventually had to end and I heard someone clearing their throat. I looked up the same moment Jared did. There he was, standing there as if he had a slap in the face.

“I, um, j
ust wanted to make sure you made it home OK, because I knew you walked to work.”

Before I was able to say a word
, Jared spoke up. “I think I can handle that, so your services are no longer needed. You can leave.” I suddenly felt Jared’s arm tighten around my waist as if he was laying claim and that just wasn’t about to happen. Again, before I could speak up Viktor chimed in.

“Despite your coziness and tight grip on her due to your lack of confidence, I wi
ll leave when she tells me to.” Viktor’s eyes narrowed and I got the distinct feeling they were both about to pound on their chests to see who the alpha male was here.

“I’ll tell you what.”
At this point, I was furious. I was furious with them both. Here was Viktor, who left with someone already and now it seemed like he wanted extra, and Jared too.  I pushed myself off the couch and grabbed my jacket and purse. “You both can stay here together.” I turned to Jared. “It would make sense if we got together, especially considering the type of people we are, but you were with someone tonight and I play second fiddle to no one.” Now it was Viktor’s turn. “I can make it home by myself.” On that note, I walked away from Jared and right past Viktor, not giving either one of them a second glance.

The
walk home was cold and lonely. Thinking about the cold and lonely part, it reminded me of how I was told several times by past boyfriends that this was how I would end up. I guess it was better to get used to it. I thought about everything that had happened tonight and realized that Viktor wasn’t wearing what he had on at the club earlier tonight. He wore blue jeans that were loose in some areas but also tight in others and a black button up shirt with silver pin stripes. When he walked in on Jared and me, he was in black Adidas wind pants and a black fitted long sleeve that showed every ripple he had on his toned stomach. His hair wasn’t even gelled and spiked like it was, either. He had already showered and cleaned up.

I stood there dumbfounded.

Why did I care in the first place? It didn’t matter. I was nobody’s second choice or back up and I wasn’t going to start being one now. I made it to my loft and struggled with wanting to go to
his
loft to apologize—to apologize for the drama, the flirting, and him seeing me kissing Jared. But my will overpowered everything else and I made it into my place and locked the door behind me. All I wanted at that moment was to go to sleep and see if Declan visited me in my dreams. Tonight was the only night I welcomed him.

Chapter 2

Walking into my place had never felt sweeter, and given the added bonus of being alone, it was even better. Dropping my coat and purse onto my couch, I made my way to the bathroom and started the shower. I couldn’t wait to wash away everything that happened tonight. I set the water on scalding hot and left to retrieve a Blue Moon from the refrigerator. I couldn’t stop thinking about Viktor, much less him leaving with someone else. Why this bothered me I had no idea. I only just met the man. And then there was Jared. What was his deal tonight? Jared had always been flirty, but tonight he was too eager to lay claim. It seemed the harder I tried to think about everything, the more it made my head hurt. So, I refused to spend any more time thinking about them.

I made my way back to the shower, where I strip
ped, and the sudden feeling of being alone slowly crept up with a vengeance. I couldn’t help but shiver, and I climbed into the hot shower.  Standing there in the running water, I reluctantly began to torture myself. I wondered when was the last time I felt whole, warm, or loved. That’s when I noticed that the water wasn’t the only thing running down my face; tears were streaming down as well. I grabbed the sweet smelling soap I spent a fortune on and began washing myself, hoping to make it all go away. But it was too late.

Closing my eyes to rinse my face
, I smiled at the image of the crystal blue eyes that once looked at me with deep appreciation. I opened my eyes again and wondered what the hell I was doing. I would certainly regret this in the morning.

The one thing I was certain
of, without a doubt, was that Declan still had possession of my heart. What a thief he was.

Standing there in the
shower, I closed my eyes again. Declan was there waiting as always.  As I laid my head against the shower wall and I imagined that, instead, I’d laid it over his heart. In the steam of the shower that surrounded me, I imagined it was his arms that embraced me.  Nothing was said—just pure, soft, and soothing unconditional love. I lost track of how long I was standing there like I always did when Declan held me like this. It was only when the hot water started to run cold that reality began to sink in. So I pulled myself from my imagination and got out of the shower. As I got dressed and put myself to bed, I couldn’t help but send a silent prayer to whoever was listening. I hoped they’d go easy on me tonight.

Remembrance

I’m in my old room and Dec
lan is standing on the balcony. He’s bare-footed, wearing his worn jeans and a light blue and white button down shirt that was left unbuttoned. He looks to have just gotten out of the shower, because his dark hair was wet. He turned to me and held out his hand for me to join him and I do what he silently asks. He pulls me into his arms and I lay my head on his chest and we begin swaying to the music he has playing in the background.  John Mayer’s “Do You Know Me” is playing. Declan’s arms tighten around my waist, probably to make sure I’m not too cold. I’m wearing only a cami with pajama shorts.

He rests his head on top of mine and lets out a sigh. We remain like that way under the moon, just swaying to the music. I glance at us in the mirror inside my room save the image of us to memory. And I notice something. I’m my old self—blonde without any colors and no tattoos.  Thinking to myself, I wonder if I want him to see what I look like now.

Then he spoke to me with that swe
et voice that loves to haunt me. “Why can’t it always be like this with us? Why are we always fighting?” He kisses the top of my head.

“I don’t know why.
Maybe because you left me and I’m still broken.” I’m too afraid to look at him.

“I’m here now. I miss this.” He must have felt the chills and now thinks I’m cold,
because he begins to rub my back and tighten his grip on me.

“I’
ve missed you so much it hurts. I’m lonely, and even though it’s because of you leaving, I haven’t the energy to be mad.” I now tighten my grip on him.

“I know you don’t want to hear this
, but you need to move on.” His whole body stiffens, waiting for the wrath that might follow.

“I know, but it’s too hard.
I try, but no one is…you.” Unwillingly, I begin to cry.

“No one will be me
, just like no one will be you.” He stops swaying and I look up at him.

“Declan
, do you miss me?” I have never been so scared to hear an answer.

“More than you will ever know.” He
smoothes my hair and caresses my cheek.

“Then why? Why
did you leave and why won’t you come back?” I start to get desperate.

“Sloane
, there are things you don’t know about me. You have to know that the times spent with you were the best times of my life. I keep it all locked away here.” He points to his heart.

“That’s not good enough,” I say,
shaking my head.

“I know
, but that’s all I have to give.”

“I don’t want to fight.
I’ve spent the last three years fighting with you and tonight I just want you to hold me. Is that too much to ask?”

“No, it isn’t. Do you want to talk about it? Is it another guy?” Declan manages
to get us swaying again.

“Two
, actually.” We stop for a moment, but easily start again. I giggle silently. Is he jealous?

“Wow. T
wo guys, huh? You always knew how to turn heads, even when you didn’t know it.  That’s what I loved most about you. You never knew your own power. Speaking of which, have you learned to control your emotions?” 

“Whatever
, and yes. I have managed to keep everything neutral, I guess. I have my moments, especially here lately.”

“The two guys?”

He actually wants to talk guys with me? “Declan, I am so not discussing my love life, or what’s left of it, with you of all people. If I was that worried about them, they would be in this dream and not you.” 

“Just be careful.
There are some people that will only be there because of what you are and not who you are. I don’t want to see your heart broken again.”

“There’s nothing left
of my heart to break. It doesn’t exist anymore.”

“You have more heart than you know
, Sloane. You just keep it locked away. Don’t let what happened to us be the reason you stay lonely and afraid.”

“Afraid of what?”

“Afraid of letting anyone too close.”

“So you want me to forget about you and go
chasing after two other guys?” I smile up at him.

“Well
, not exactly. Our dance isn’t over and I am not ready to let you out of my arms.”

“Declan, why? Why did you leave me?”
I can’t help it anymore. I have to know.

“It’s better if you didn’t know.”

“I need to know. Was it because I am a freak of nature?”

“What? Wait—n
o. Yes. Well, no.” He’s terrified. Probably scared of what I will do next.

“No or y
es, Declan, which is it?” I’m pissed now and I know he can tell.

“It’s not what you think. I was sent…”

And before he can finish, my doorbell rings throughout the room.

Even though I could hear the door bell ringing, I had to take a couple of deep breaths before moving. Whoever was on the other side of that door was so going to get it. I looked at my cell phone to see what time it was, but it was dead. Looking at the top of the curtains, I noticed that the sun was out; it had to be at least mid-morning. I slung my feet to the side and staggered to the door. “Hold on! Damn it, man!” I screamed out, and the noise ceased. Leaving the chain on the door, I unlocked the two dead bolts and yanked the door open. Viktor stood there with two coffees from Starbucks.

“What the hell do you want?”  I asked with irritation
. I hoped he noticed, because if he did it again there would be a serious problem.

“I thought you might want some coffee.”  He held both of them up and smiled.

“What time is it?” I asked, while allowing him to slide the coffee through the small opening of the door.

“It’s nine o’clock.”

I just about choked on my coffee, because I was never up this early unless I was just going to bed. So, I gave him the
only thank you
I could think of and slammed the door in his face, locking the dead bolts back. Although, the coffee he picked out was quite good and I smiled. There was a faint knock at the door again. I went through the routine again and this time I removed the chain and yanked the door back open. Viktor stood there like he was a kid who knew he did something wrong.

“Might as well come in.” I motioned for
him to come in, and to hurry before the neighbors saw me in just my PJs.

“Wow.” H
e was looking at what I had on and I quickly walked over to the bedroom area to slip on my robe.

“Have a seat and let me just brush my teeth and hair.”  I didn’t care if he sat
; I just had to do something with myself. After brushing my teeth and clipping my hair back, I met him back in my living room.

“I’m sorry to wake you.
I hardly sleep and I had to apologize for what happened last night. It wasn’t my place to, well, whatever.”

“Yea
h, I honestly have no idea what all that was about. I guess you kind of stepped on some territory Jared thought he had.” We were sitting on opposite ends of the sofa drinking our coffee.

“Well
, I just wanted to say I’m sorry and I’m just across the hall if you ever need anything.”  He got up to leave and now I was ill.

“Wait—
you came over at nine in the morning to say I’m sorry and you bring coffee?”

“Well, yes.
Is there something else you want to talk about?”

“No, but you woke me up
.  And now that I am up, you are responsible for entertaining me.”

“I have a l
oft that is in need of unpacking.” He raised his eyebrows as I thought about his loft.

“I
don’t know. I barely know you. You aren’t going to, like, tie me up and do anything crazy to me, are you?”

“I’ll only tie you up if you ask
me to.” He was laughing and smiling at me as I turned red.

“Hold on, let me put some sweats on.”

Viktor waited for me in the living room area. The Loft was all open, so I could actually keep an eye on him and make sure he wasn’t a creeper. All I did was slide on a pair of sweat pants, and then grabbed the matching jacket. I left my white cami on that I wore to bed. Sliding on my socks and shoes, I realized it was the first time, since Declan, that I had been dressed so comfortably in front of a guy. I walked back into the living room and found him looking at a painting, my painting. It was the one I’d painted of the lake that was outside my balcony, and where a girl stood looking across at a cabin. Her back was to you so you couldn’t see her face, but there was a reason for that.

She was heartbroken, and she was
me.

“Do you like it?”
I asked, smiling as he took in the sight of me in my non-work clothes.

“Actually
, yes, I do. I don’t really have an interest in paintings, but this is great. Is the artist local?” 

“I would say so.
I have several pieces by her.”

“
Her
, huh?  Well, whoever she is I hope she resolved her issue.”

“Why do you say that?”

“There is a touch of sadness to it.”

“I thought you didn’t know anything about art.”

“I didn’t say that. I said it doesn’t interest me. And it doesn’t take a genius to see it. She is obviously longing for something.”

“I
never thought of it that way. Are you ready?” I said, desperately wanting to change the subject and get out of there.

“Sure.” Viktor smiled and we were off.

I followed Viktor to his loft where it was in complete chaos. There were boxes and furniture everywhere. I couldn’t figure out where to start first. So, I suggested that he help me find all his kitchen stuff so I could get it sorted. I figured he could work on his bedroom stuff. While I was unpacking, I noticed the expensive cookware from Bed Bath & Beyond and from all the infomercials. He couldn’t possibly use all of this, but then again, he probably could. Once I was finished with his kitchen, I found a docking station for an iPod or iPhone. I figured it was too quiet, so I placed my iPhone on it and turned it up really loud. Linkin Park’s “Papercut” was playing.

I then
started on his living room. In his loft he had built in shelves, so I started stacking all his CDs and DVDs on them. There were no pictures of family or friends in any of the boxes. It was strange to me.  Oh, well, everyone had their own issue. I know I did.