Chapter 15
The rest of the week seemed to run together. I didn’t leave my place and I still refused to answer the phone. On the upside, I finished the painting and I couldn’t stop staring at it. I wasn’t eating and I wasn’t sleeping; I was becoming delirious. I’d hear knocks on the door, but I wasn’t keeping up with who it was. I didn’t want to have any visitors, more less talk to anyone on the phone. I knew Shay came by several times with Mindy and she is probably scared to come alone. I couldn’t blame her. Mindy came by to remind me it was Thursday and she wanted me to meet her and Shay at one of the new boutiques that opened. Viktor came by twice. Twice. Yep, he really cared. Why did I care anyway? I was so better off. I needed no one.
Lying on the couch
, I drifted off. I dreamt of nothing much, as usual. Just a lot faces popping in and out of view. It was like I was driving down the road, passing people by, but it was the people that came in and out my life. What was I doing? Was I giving up, or rather giving in? I wasn’t sure anymore. I felt like everything would be better if I wasn’t here at all. So, needless to say, I was really feeling sorry for myself.
There was someone at my door again and I knew i
t was Jared. What day is it? I hadn’t a clue anymore.
“I know you’
re in there, Sloane. Don’t make me kick the door in, because I will,” Jared yelled from outside the door.
I knew he wouldn’t leave and he
would make good on his threat, so I got up and stumbled over my own legs until I reached the door. He must have heard me, because he was yelling even more now.
“S
loane! Are you OK? Sloane, you better answer the door!”
“I’m trying
, damn it!” I snapped back.
The sound of my voice must have calmed him a little
, but I knew he was still concerned.
“Are you hurt?” h
e asked.
“No!”
Well, not physically, anyway.
I was crawling to the door.
From lack of eating and sleeping I could barely maneuver around the room. I made it to the door and pulled myself up so that I could undo all the locks. Once the last one was done, I slid down the door and to the side, out of the way.
“It’s open.”
Jared opened the door slowly.
“Where are you?” he called out.
“Down here. Shut the door,”
I snapped.
“Wh
at the hell is wrong with you? Are you sick?” Jared examined me and scooped me up, placing me back on the couch where I had been all week.
“I’m fine. What are you doing here?”
Jared walked off to open the curtains and blinds. The direct sunlight hurt my eyes and I threw my hands up. And magically, in a blink of an eye, the blinds and curtains shut. I shouldn’t have done it, because everything really started to spin then.
Jared looked pissed.
He went to my refrigerator and grabbed the orange juice I kept for mixed drinks.
“You don’t have anything in here to eat or something I can make you
, do you?” he asked, as he placed the cup into my hands and forced my both hands to hold it. “Do I need to get you a spill-proof cup?”
I shot him a glare.
“I don’t need your damn help.” Even though it was a show I was putting on, I was grateful that Jared was here.
“Right.”
Jared walked off and made a phone call. It sounded like he was putting in an order somewhere. “Do you want to talk about it?” he said once he’d returned.
“Nope,” w
as all I could get out.
“OK, I will be right back.”
Jared disappeared into my bathroom, but he wasn’t gone for very long. I turned on the TV to see what I could watch and pulled my phone out. It read I had over two hundred missed calls, forty-three voice messages, and seventy-six text messages. I didn’t even bother to check the emails. I simply cleared everything. Jared came back in the living room and grabbed the cup from my hand, sitting it on the table.
“What the hell are you doing?”
I yelled at him, as he bent down to pick me up.
Jared threw me over his shoulder and walked me back to the bathroom as I kicked and sc
reamed for him to put me down. I even hit my head on the doorjamb when he walked through the doorway.
“
Put me down, damn it!”
“Gladly
, because you stink!” And just like that, I was thrown into the tub fully clothed.
“
Have you lost your damn mind?” I screamed.
“No,
I haven’t, but by the looks of it, you have. Now don’t bring your ass out here until you‘ve washed up. Don’t make me come back in here and strip you myself!” I knew he would.
“Well
, I can’t if you’re in here!”
Jared
turned and walked out. “I mean it, Sloane.” And I knew he did.
I crawled out and stripped
from the wet overalls along with everything else. The water wasn’t warm enough, so I quickly ran the hot water. I sat there with my knees pulled to my chest, the water running down my back. I didn’t know what I was doing, more less what I actually wanted. Declan was gone and I hadn’t heard from Viktor. Shay was mad and I knew that. I had some making up to do there.
Breaking me out of my thoughts
was a knock at the door.
“Sloane?”
It was Mindy. “Can I come in?” I didn’t answer, but I heard the door open.
“I don’t care,” I
answered.
“I just wanted to check on you.”
She must have picked up my clothes and sat them outside, but I wasn’t too aware. And then she walked out, no doubt to put them in the washer. Just as quickly, she was back.
“Do you need to help with anything?”
“Like what?” I asked, still sitting there with my legs drawn to my chest like a scared animal. I hated feeling vulnerable like this.
“I don’t know. I can wash your hair for you?”
She sat down beside the tub and reached for the lavender shampoo. “I just love lavender. I’ve been meaning to ask you what shampoo you use.” She began massaging her fingers through my hair.
On any other day I would
’ve probably thought this would be a little weird, but today I was actually grateful. Mindy was just offering comfort and support. Nothing was expected of me other than getting clean. I could hear Jared cleaning or something in my kitchen, because all I could hear is the cabinets slamming.
“Have you heard from Shay?”
I asked as she began to rinse through my hair.
“I ta
lked to her before I got here. She wants to come over, but I told her I would call her first.”
“I see
. You wanted to make sure it was safe,” I added.
“Yea
h.” She moved to conditioning now.
“Tha
nk you for being there for her. I have been a shit here lately.”
“Well
, just think about what you have had to deal with. Shay understands. You just have to give her time to let it all sink in before you start jumping from one place to the other attached at the hip.” We laughed. “And it wasn’t just because I thought you might say or do something to hurt her. We were all scared of what we would’ve found here today. If something awful were to happen to you, I’d want to spare her the image.”
Before I could say anything, t
here was another knock at the door. It was Jared letting us know that food was ready and he had already called Shay. Mindy instructed me to close my eyes and to hold my breath as she took the removable shower head to rinse off my hair and my back.
“Thank you again
, Mindy. For everything, really.”
“No problem.
Do you need help getting out?”
“I think I can manage with what dignity I have l
eft.” I smiled over my shoulder at her.
Once she was out
, I managed my way out of the tub. I dried myself off and wrapped my robe around me, tying it tight. Taking one last and final look in the mirror, I gathered the courage to actually show my face, which looked as if my color was finally returning. I unwrapped my hair and ran both hands down its length, and when I opened my eyes, my hair was black again. Though, the tips were still blonde.
Just like my angel wings
.
This was exactly who I was.
Feeling confident, I followed the lingering smell of fresh fruit, french toast and coffee. Was it even breakfast time? I hadn’t even realized what time of day it was, or even the actual date.
Chapter 16
As I joined Mindy and Jared at the table
, they awkwardly stared at me as I sipped my coffee. I cleared my throat just to let them know I could see them staring and they immediately went back to eating.
“So
you didn’t like the blonde, I see. But then you left it on the tips. Nice,” Jared said. I eyed him over my cup of coffee. He was careful.
Mindy laughed.
“It looks great, Sloane. I think it’s more you and it matches your tattoo,” she said while stuffing a piece of watermelon in her mouth.
I
spit up some of my coffee trying to hold back a laugh and it went all over Jared. “Oh, my…” I jumped up to grab napkins, but then laughter erupted around the whole table. I’d never seen Mindy eat, and with her body I would’ve never guessed how much she loved food. The feeling was just so overwhelming and it was just what the doctor prescribed. I laughed until I cried and till mealtime was over. Finally, Jared jumped up to clear the table.
“You know
, Sloane, just because you come from something dark doesn’t mean you have to be,” Mindy said from across the table. I just looked at her. “We all have our stories. Yes, I’m employed by the Darkness, but I like to think I’m doing a public service. I’m sure you’re aware how we maintain our life, though, right? We do it by feeding off of other people’s life force; by endeavoring in some sort of sexual act with someone.” I nodded my head. “Well, if I target good people, I won’t have to do it as much, but Dale and I target the bad people. The people who cheat and hurt other people. We leave the pure people alone. And we can sense everything in their aura.” Well, I felt a little better about that.
“Why did you want to change?
Wait
,
when did you change?” I had to know how old she was.
“Well
, I was what you would call a flapper in 1920. I was eighteen and on my own. I wasn’t always a flapper, though. I was once alone and had no one. My mother died shortly after my dad left and I was scared and vulnerable. I was standing outside one of the very fancy jazz clubs at the time and I remember watching a woman getting out of her car. Back then that was a no-no, but it was happening. I thought I wanted that and I would’ve given anything to be like her.
“A
nd then out of nowhere, this guy appeared. He claimed he could make my life easier and promised me no more starving or wishing I had something someone else had. All I had to do was sleep with men or the occasional woman to maintain my life source. It didn’t sound so bad. Basically, I saw it as pleasure for pleasure.” Mindy’s eyes looked dazed as she continued. “It wasn’t until I noticed my regular “Joe” was having issues keeping up that I realized what I was actually doing. I pleaded to revoke the contract, but they wouldn’t. I got everything I ever wanted, plus immortality, but it was at the expense of others.” She snapped out of it and smiled. “It took a while to figure out the aura thing, though I did change my ways. It’s still bad, what I do, but in a sense I am doing a bittersweet justice.” Mindy got up and began to gather her things.
“So you see
, Sloane, there is light and dark in all of us. It’s up to us where we place the power, though. But I’m afraid I have to meet Dale soon. Do you need me to do anything for you before I go?” she asked as she grabbed her purse.
“No.” I smiled at her. “But
thank you, Mindy.”
“I will call Shay for you.”
Mindy smiled her toothy smile and was out the door.
I could hear plates clattering together as Jared rin
sed them off and placed them into the dishwasher. This drove me absolutely crazy. I hated the sound of dishes clanging and utensils banging against the plates. It was like a nail on a chalkboard for me.
“What a
re you doing in there?” I yelled as I covered my ears.
“Hey
, I’m trying to help you out. I don’t even clean my place and here you got me doing laundry, dishes and even take out. Shouldn’t your boyfriend be doing this?” he snapped back.
“That’s a very go
od question,” I answered under my breath.
“Hey
, why don’t we go out and get some fresh air?” Jared asked.
“I think I
’m good here,” I answered.
“Sloane
, you’re becoming a hermit. Now crawl out of that shell and let’s go outside,” Jared pleaded.
“Honestly
, I don’t want to run into Viktor. If I emerge from my cave, he’ll be somewhere close and I’m scared of what I might do if I see him.” I took a breath. “How about we stay in?” I smiled big.
“Well
, I have nothing to do so I guess I can sit here and train myself to live in a box.” We laughed and I slapped him playfully on his arm.
Something
in this moment with Jared was beautiful. It felt so normal and something just made me want to show him my work. All the photographs I took and all the painting I did.
“Jared
, let me show you something.” I took his hand in mine and he followed.
I hit the side button on the side of the bookshelf and the secret
door popped open to my studio. As I pulled him through, I wondered what he was thinking, because he just stood there with his mouth open. Was that good or was it bad? I didn’t know at that point and the silence was beginning to make me feel like I made a mistake.
“Well?”
I asked.
Jared said, “You did all this?
Can I see the one under the sheet?” He went to remove it, but before he could get to it, I quickly stood in front of it. I wasn’t ready to reveal this one just yet.
“Not this one. Not yet. I’m still working on it,”
I said.
“OK
,” he said, laughing. “Why haven’t you told anyone about this?”
“I don’t k
now. It relaxes me. When I’m in here, I don’t think. I just do it.” I walked over and picked up a picture I took at the river walk. The first time I saw Declan in three years. It was a picture of him standing on the other side of the river as he looked straight at me. I put it down as I heard Jared walking up behind me.
And he
stood
right
behind me, but was careful not to touch me. He just reached around me and picked up the picture to look at it. I closed my eyes and wondered all over again why I never really considered Jared. I was a total mess, that’s why. Here I was wondering about three men. Declan was gone and I had no idea what was going on with Viktor and I. And then Jared was here. Jared was a male gigolo, but he had his moments like today.
“What are you thinking a
bout?” he asked me silently.
“Just wondering why everything has ended up the way it ha
s.”
He laid the picture down
, and when he drew his arm back in, he brushed it against my arm and caused goosebumps to form in its wake. He moved my hair out of the way and began kissing my neck. I didn’t want it to stop, but I knew it was wrong on so many levels. It wasn’t right to do this to Jared, and even though Viktor wasn’t here, it wasn’t right to do it to him, either. Viktor had better have a good excuse.
I turned around to tell Jared to stop
, but before I could get a word out, Jared’s lips captured mine. Absentmindedly, I wrapped my arms around his neck. He lifted me onto a table and began rubbing his hands up my thighs. I grabbed his hands and his eyes popped open to look at me.
“What?” h
e snapped at me.
“It’s not right or
fair,” I said.
He stepped away and r
an his hands through his hair. Standing in the light, Jared could have almost passed for an angel. He was dressed in a pair of loose jeans with a light blue t-shit. He was gorgeous, and in that moment I knew why all those girls threw themselves at him.
“Who
, exactly, isn’t it fair for, Sloane? Me or Viktor? Because I don’t see him with you right now. I don’t see him making sure you are even alive.”
“I
t’s not fair to either of you.” Then the realization hit me. “Do you think I owe you this?”
“What
? No, that’s not… No.” He was stuttering.
“W
ho are you trying to convince?” I hopped off the table and readjusted my robe. “Look, it’s not that I don’t want to, but it wouldn’t be a great way to start things off. I don’t know where the hell Viktor is, more less what he’s doing, but I won’t give him the satisfaction of throwing something like this in my face.” I walked back over to him as he leaned against the wall, as if trying to put space between us. “Jared, is this what you want? I mean, me? Not what I am or am supposed to be, but me?” I caressed his cheek.
“Sloane
, I’ve never wanted anything more.” He kissed the tip of my nose. “But you need to ask yourself if I’m what you really want. It’s not a question of me wanting you. I will take you anyway I can have you, but you have to decide who you really want.” He brought both my hands up and kissed them. “I’m not blind; I know you have feelings for Viktor and you have a past with Declan. You need to decide who you want your future with.” He hugged me then.
“Thank you
, Jared.” He gave me one more tight squeeze and stepped away.
“You have my number
, Sloane. Call me when you’ve made your choice.” He grabbed his keys and sunglasses and left.
There I was again
, all alone. I looked around the place and thought about everything that had happened, and even what could have happened. My head began to hurt with all the swarming thoughts, so I went to the medicine cabinet and took two Excedrin Migraines. After tossing them down, I picked up my cell phone and sent Shay a message.
ME: Hey, I’m sorry.
SHAY: R U OK?
ME: I’m fine, if you still love me.
SHAY: Shut up!
ME: Have u seen Viktor?
SHAY: Not since we were all together.
ME: Really?
SHAY: Do u need me to come by?
ME: No, I will call you later.
Something just didn’t sit right. I wasn’t sure what I was about to do, but I knew I didn’t need to be using any magic. I just regained what little strength I had, cautious not to over exhaust myself. But something wasn’t right and I needed to find out now.