Who Owns Kelly Paddik (7 page)

I'd also been writing down everything that happened to me. I was sitting at my desk and in my hands I held my whole life, in words, on paper. I had written down every-thing I could remember. Now it was outside of me. I could hold it in my hands, put it in a drawer, even throw it away if I wanted to. It wasn't hiding inside me anymore, taking up space. I'd gotten it all out.

“Hey, Kelly.” It was Chris, standing in my doorway. Next week she was moving out of the unit to a group home.

“What?” I asked.

“Can you believe it?” Chris laughed. “Terri wants me to help her hold up Fran. She says she stole a fork and she's got it in her room. She wants to hold it to Fran's throat and get her keys. D'you think she'll ever change? I told her to fork off.”

I had to laugh. “You're crazy. C'mon in and listen to a story I just finished writing. I have to figure out a title for it.”

Chris flopped onto my bed and picked up my stuffed bear. “Who gave you this polar bear, anyway?” she asked.

I swallowed and looked down. “My dad, when I was real little. I don't remember anything nice about him besides that bear.”

Chris turned the bear around in her hands. “Keep it then,” she said softly. “Now, read me your story.”

“Okay.” I picked up the last page. I hadn't shown it to anyone yet. Suddenly I got so nervous, my voice ran away on me. I kept clearing my throat, trying to get it to come back.

“I can't hear you,” Chris said loudly. “You're whispering.”

“Oh,” I whispered. “Sorry.”

“Start over,” said Chris. Sometimes she could be pretty bossy. I cleared my throat again.

“Hey, Kelly.” Chris's voice was wobbling, and I looked up to see what was the matter. She was twisting her hands and watching me, her brown eyes very large. “I think you could write just about the best book in the whole world,” she said.

A smile took over my whole body. I started again, trying not to whisper. “I've seen lots of movies they show about teenage girls who are supposed to be like me,” I said.
“They're mean and tough, and they work the streets and do drugs. Well, I've done those things, and in real life it isn't cool. You get beat up. You go hungry, and you're cold a lot. You do the drugs to forget what's happening, but you can't really forget. If you see a stray cat in an alley, don't kick it. It's just a street kid in another life, looking for some way to stay alive.

“I don't want to run anymore. I don't know where I thought I was running to anyway. You can't run from yourself.

“Someone important once said to me, ‘Who owns Kelly Paddik?' That was a good question. I couldn't tell her then because I didn't like the answer — my dad. Well, it was my dad
then
. Now it's different. Now everything is different because it's me. I own Kelly Paddik. I do. I belong to me.”

I looked out the window at the cold and the snow. “Well, that's the last page, I guess,” I said.

“That's good. I think that's real good.” Chris was patting my bear gently. “Have you got a title?”

I nodded slowly. “Now I do.”

“What is it?” Chris asked.

I looked out the window. The sun had lit the ice on the branches so that they shone like glass. “Yeah, I know what I want to call it,” I said softly.

“Okay, so you can tell me now.” Chris was getting bossy again.

“
I Own Kelly Paddik.” I wrote it across page one and looked at it. “Yeah, that's right. I do.” I grinned at Chris. “Want to hear the whole thing now?” I asked
.

Chris put the bear onto the floor. Then she stretched out on the bed and placed her hands behind her head. “I've got time,” she grinned back at me
.

I picked up page one
.

Orca Soundings is a teen fiction series that features realistic teenage characters in stories that focus on contemporary situations and problems.

Soundings are short, thematic novels ideal for class or independent reading. Written by such stalwart authors as William Bell, Beth Goobie, Sheree Fitch and Kristin Butcher, there will be between eight and ten new titles a year.

For more information and reading copies, please call Orca Book Publishers at 1-800-210-5277.

Other titles in the Orca Soundings series:

Bull Rider
No Problem
The Trouble with Liberty
The Hemingway Tradition
One More Step
Kicked Out
Refuge Cove
Sticks and Stones
Death Wind