White Lies (A Twisted Fate Series) (Volume 1) (26 page)

The air left me as I sat on the bed, staring at the reminder. Having been focused on what I discovered from Trent, as well as Carson’s situation, I’d forgot about my own.

My period still wasn’t here.

I was never late.

Never.

Things became more real as I thought about that last night I shared with Alex. Sometimes the images came to me in my dreams, though I wanted to forget them. That last night between us had been magnificently beautiful, but then I woke up remembering the lies, which turned my reality into a nightmare.

The notification buzzed again since I hadn’t hit dismiss. I’d set the reminder and forced it out of my mind, refusing to worry about something that wasn’t confirmed with everything else going on.

A suspicion would either be confirmed or denied. I wasn’t sure what I wanted or how I felt. To wish I wasn’t pregnant felt wrong. There might be an innocent child growing inside me that had nothing to do with what happened.

Regardless of my feelings for Alex, I made a vow to love this child unconditionally. Alex was dead—not able to affect him or her if I was pregnant.

My feet were heavy as I trudged to my bathroom where I had several tests. I’d bought them on a whim while in the drug store a few days after Alex died when my head was a mess. I pulled three out of the cabinet and stared at them.

My heart beat faster.

My palms were sweaty.

I needed a minute.

Never in my life had I felt lonelier. I was scared. Terrified, actually.

Sitting on the steps to the Jacuzzi, I stared down at one of the tests I’d grabbed. In a matter of minutes, I was going to have an answer one way or another. The test was easy enough. Pee on the stick. Wait. Either the words
pregnant
or
not pregnant
appeared on the digital display.

I gripped the test lighter.
Why? Why had Alex done all this? Why had he targeted me?
If I was pregnant, my child would have a half-brother they could never know about. I knew what it felt like to have something monumental kept from you. That was the last thing I wanted to do. It also gave me a little insight as to how Dad might have felt keeping the truth away from me.

Sometimes we receive understanding in the most unexpected way.

The phone in my pocket vibrated. It was Tack. “Hey, can I call you back?” I knew I sounded off, though I tried to keep my tone even.

“You sound stressed.” It was a statement. Not an answer. Like so many times before, it confirmed Tack knew me.

I heaved a sigh, happy to have someone to talk to. “I am stressed.”

“Why?” Before I said anything else, he continued, “I know none of this makes sense. I know my remaining a secret is frustrating. Please don’t shut me out. It will all make sense. I am here for you, Willow.”

I cleared my throat. “How much longer?”

“Regardless of whether I find everything I need to or not, I’ll tell you everything within a month.”

A month.

That felt like an eternity, but it was an answer. Something drew me to Tack, and it was near impossible to resist.

“A month. I can live with that.”

I heard him blow out a breath. “Why are you stressed?”

“I’m about to take a pregnancy test.” Silence. “I’m scared to do this alone.” There I put it out there. My true feelings.

He cleared his throat. “Do you want me to be on the phone with you? We can do this together. You’re not alone.”

“Yes.” My one worded answer hung out there. “What if I’m not ready for this?”

“You’re one of the strongest people I know, having endured what you have. And if you happen to be pregnant, you’ll be the best mom. I know it.”

This was why I had not thought about avoiding his phone call. Tack always knew the words I needed to hear to stay the course. I stood and headed to the toilet. “I’ll be right back. I’m not peeing with you on the phone.”

“Sounds good.” The accented chuckle brought a longing to my heart… to have a man who truly loved me for me.

Quickly, I hastened to get my business done and returned the stick to the counter while the timer on my phone ticked down. “I’m back. I set the alarm on my other phone.”

“Don’t worry. What’s meant to be will be.”

Pace five steps to the left.

Turn.

Pace five steps to the right.

Turn.

Pace five steps to the left.

Turn.

“What are you doing? Are you counting?”

I huffed. “I’m pacing. It’s helping.”

“Willow, what scares you the most?”

I stopped pacing. “Not being enough.”

“You are more than enough.”

Ding.

Ding.

Ding.

Terrified, I stood frozen, my feet rooted to the ground. I’d always wanted to be a mother. To give a child something I lost far too early.

But this was real.

And the situation wasn’t ideal since the child would be fatherless.

It was hard to wrap my head around it all. Still not moving I stared at the test on the counter.

“Willow?”

My voice was barely above a whisper. “Yes?”

“Go check the test, sweetheart. I’m here.”

“Okay.” With trepidation, I walked forward and looked at the stick.

“I’m pregnant.”

“Congratulations, Willow. You will be an incredible mother.”

Tears spilled down my face as I touched my stomach.

Mom
.

I’m pregnant.

A nervous giggle left me. “I’m pregnant.”

“Yes, sweetheart. You’re pregnant. You’re going to be a mom.”

Staring at the test, I smiled. “Thank you for being here, Tack. I needed it more than you know.”

“I will always try to be there if I can.”

His words were like a vow, and I sensed they meant more than I gave them credit for. I hoped my intuition was right.

A list of to-dos spiraled through my mind. This baby was going to bring me only joy. I was determined to not let the past mar this experience.

Through all the pain, I was getting something beautiful.

A gift from heaven.

On my tippy toes, I reached for a box on the top shelf of my closet. All afternoon I’d been reading on dos and don’ts for pregnancy. My head swam with information. On Monday, I had a doctor’s appointment. After I confirmed the pregnancy, I would tell Nonno.

The baby was the size of a poppy seed. So tiny.

Carson had called and asked if he and Francesca could come over. They would arrive soon. I’d already made my mind up to tell him. We were going to have children together. They were going to be the best of friends. I knew it.

Some adjustments needed to be made to my painting for a bit, which was fine. I had nearly compiled the list of what I needed to order. I was anxious to paint again as I felt a sense of new inspiration unraveling.

“Willow, are you in here?” Carson called from the hallway.

“Yes! In my closet.”

The box was lighter than expected when I finally reached it and pulled it down. Francesca and Carson were at the door.

“Hey guys.” After setting the box down, I hugged Francesca. “Congratulations, I’m so happy for you guys. I’m totally going to spoil this baby. Do you mind?”

I held my hands out from her stomach and she laughed. “No, not at all.”

When Francesca had first arrived, she was super nervous and I had remained reserved. There was an ease about her today. Being totally obnoxious, I spoke to the baby. “This is Auntie Willow. I can’t wait to meet you.”

Carson shook his head at my silly antics.

“What? I need to make sure this baby knows who I am.”

Francesca beamed and touched her stomach. “This baby is going to be lucky with all the love he or she has.”

Picking up the box, I headed to the bedroom to give us all a little more space.

Carson motioned to the box. “What’s in there?”

“My baby stuff.”

His eyes grew wide—he probably remembered my confession at the beach house. Glancing at Francesca, he remained quiet, but I knew he wanted to know. I wanted her to know, too.

“We’re going to be parents together. I’m pregnant.”

Francesca gasped and then squealed before she took me in a hug. “This is going to be the best pregnancy. Our children will be the best of friends.”

As more time passed, the initial shock gave way to elation. I was going to be a mom. “It is. I’m glad you’re here, Francesca. It’s going to be amazing to have children the same age. We’ll be able to do so much together.”

Carson busted out laughing. “And get into a lot of trouble together. Heaven help us.”

I closed my eyes. “Payback is going to be a bitch, Carson. We were so naughty.” Glancing at Francesca, I added, “I’m so sorry for what you’re about to endure.”

“Oh, dear.” Francesca’s eyes widened. “I’m an innocent bystander in all this.”

Laying my hand on her shoulder, I concurred. “I’m so sorry. Word to the wise, we can never leave them alone. Or we’ll come back to a house filled with ants and children smelling like skunks.”

Francesca’s only words were, “Oh, double dear.”

Laughter erupted. We were in so much trouble.

C
arson and Francesca left to see Marie and Bennett to tell them about the baby. They’d asked me to come along, but I wanted them to have this special time. Francesca needed to bond with his parents. It was smart waiting a couple of days to tell them until they understood a little more about what they wanted to do.

For now, Francesca had chosen to stay in the states. If and when she was ready to go back to Florence, they would work out a bicontinental arrangement. With Carson’s financial situation, traveling would be easy for them.

I hated that her father refused to talk to her. It had only been Francesca and Bernardo since her mother died when she was four years old. In a way, we were kindred spirits. We knew what it was like to be without. Having each other to lean on through motherhood was a blessing.

With my mango water, I came back to my bedroom to look through the boxes. Carson helped get the other two down from the shelf before he left, giving me strict instructions to not lift anything heavy.

Sitting on the floor, I took off the lid from the box with the label
Willow’s Baby Memorabilia
.
The ancestral blanket was on top. This yellow knitted blanket had been in Mom’s family for eight generations. It passed to the firstborn daughter when her parents were done having children. So far, there had been a girl in each generation. I ran my fingers over the soft fabric. It was tradition to have the baby’s picture taken at one month of age while swaddled in the blanket and place it in the family book.

Soon, I would be adding to the picture book on the shelf in the office. Mom would be beside herself with excitement. She always wanted to have a house full of children, but she and Dad were never able to get pregnant again after me. Dad always said,
“You were the only blessing we needed.”

Next were two series of paintings, each with three paintings to complete a willow tree. I paused and looked up at the ceiling to rein in the onslaught of emotions I felt—so many good memories of these paintings. At night, Mom and Dad would read to me on my bed across from the paintings. They were the last thing I saw when I went to bed and the first thing I woke up to.