White Feathers (26 page)

‘Would you like one?’ he asked, offering her the packet.

‘No, thank you,’ replied Keely, a little put out that he’d apparently forgotten she didn’t smoke.

‘A drink then? I could have a bottle of something brought up.’

‘Yes, another
small
brandy would be nice. But won’t they think that’s a bit odd, a married couple having a drink in their room when there’s a lounge downstairs?’

Ross laughed. ‘I doubt it. They probably see it all the time, especially since the war’s been on. We’re not the only couple to have done this, you know.’

Mortified, Keely stared at him. ‘Do you think they
know
?’

‘What, that we’re not married? Why, does it matter?’

It did to Keely. She didn’t want anyone to think she was just someone’s mistress — she wanted the whole world to know there was much more to her relationship with this wonderful man.

Seeing the look of doubt on her face, Ross bent down to kiss her. ‘Look, darling, it’s very unlikely anyone’s even noticed us. And if they have, why on earth would they care? Come on, surely you’re not worried about it? I would have thought you much too sophisticated to be concerned about that sort of thing.’

He yanked on the bell-pull near the door to summon room
service, then came back to Keely, smoothing her hair tenderly back from her face.

‘Why don’t we just forget about it and enjoy ourselves? We barely get time together as it is so let’s not spoil what we do have.’

Keely nodded and turned her face to kiss his hand, then started as a discreet knock came at the door. She stood quickly and smoothed her skirt.

Ross opened the door and asked the housemaid for a bottle of good brandy. ‘Remy Martin or Courvoisier, thanks, if you have either.’

The housemaid was busy eyeing Keely up and down. ‘Well, I’ll do what I can, sir,’ she replied, and added rather impudently, ‘but there’s a war on, you know.’

‘Do your best,’ Ross replied, and shut the door in her face.

The brandy met with Ross’s approval. He poured them both a glass then settled himself on the edge of the bed again.

‘Take your jacket off, darling,’ he said gently, then patted the bedcover. ‘Come and sit with me.’

Keely complied, draping the jacket of her new suit over the back of an armchair and moving over to the bed. She sat down nervously.

Ross entwined his hand in her hair and pulled her towards him, kissing her with real passion, running his tongue over her teeth and sliding it into her mouth. He tasted of brandy and cigarettes, and Keely could faintly smell his fresh sweat; the combination was heady and exciting. His hand came up and settled on her breast, lightly pinching the nipple, and she gasped. He pulled back and gazed deeply into her eyes. ‘You, my dear, are the most enchanting creature I’ve encountered in a long time. Your lovely face and hair, and this gorgeous body of yours. You’re enough to lead a man to make a complete fool of himself.’

Keely’s pleasure was so intense that she involuntarily closed her eyes. Ross began to unbutton her blouse.

He’d been less than pleased to find she was a virgin. Keely thought he might have been flattered, but he’d acted as if taking her maidenhood was a rather annoying complication. But then his displeasure had been subsumed by the heat of his passion and he had ploughed on. And plough he did; by the end of the evening Keely felt as if she had been harrowed, sowed, hoed and thoroughly harvested.

She said to Erin the following morning, ‘He said he thought I’d already, you know, done it. I thought he’d be really pleased I’d chosen him.’ She had forgotten about her resolution never to talk to Erin again about her personal affairs.

If she hadn’t felt such dismay, Erin might have laughed at the indignant look on her cousin’s face. Although why
she
was upset, she didn’t know: Keely was quite old enough to manage her own life. Erin just wished she wasn’t risking so much in the process.

She asked, ‘So you’re serious about him, then?’

‘Of
course
I’m serious. Would I spend the night with a man I wasn’t serious about?’

Erin wondered; Keely had been a terrible flirt since at least the age of thirteen. ‘Did you use any, ah, precautions?’ she asked.

‘What? Oh, I see what you mean. No, I didn’t. But everyone knows you can’t get pregnant during your first time.’

Erin made a conscious effort to stop her jaw from dropping. Where had Keely got that from? Certainly not her undeniably worldly mother.

‘Well, you’d better sort something out, before something disastrous happens. I assume you’ll be seeing him again?’

‘Yes, do assume that. Tonight, as a matter of fact,’ Keely replied, carefully ignoring her cousin’s pointed comment about contraception. After all, becoming pregnant might not be such a
bad thing — if she did, Ross would be bound to propose.

‘Are you going into town? You won’t get a pass two nights in a row. And aren’t you on night duty?’

‘No, not to town, to his room after I come off duty at midnight.’

Erin shook her head. ‘My God, Keely, if you’re caught it will be the end of everything. Doesn’t that bother you?’

Keely shrugged, then laughed. ‘No, not really. Not any more. I mean, I’d have to give up work when I marry any way, and Ross says the war will be over soon, so what would it matter?’

‘Are you saying he’s asked you to marry him?’

Keely couldn’t prevent a smirk. ‘Well, not yet, but I think I can say I’m confident. We’re very much in love.’

Erin opened her mouth to protest, but suddenly realised that having said something very similar to Sister Griffin in Egypt about herself and Joseph, she was hardly in a position to cast aspersions.

‘Well, for God’s sake, be careful. I hope you know what you’re doing,’ she warned.

Keely pouted and sat down heavily on her bed, one of two jammed into the small room she and Erin shared. ‘Oh, don’t be like that, Erin. Please be happy for me. I’m thrilled about you and Joseph.’

Erin tidied her hair in the mirror and pinned on her veil. ‘I’m sorry, I can’t help it. I’ve a bad feeling about the whole thing.’

‘He’s a lovely man, and he treats me so well. It’s a wonderful feeling.’

‘I’ve no doubt he is nice,’ Erin replied, turning to face Keely, ‘but this is wartime. He could be a completely different person when it’s over. He could even be married to someone else.’

‘Oh, he is
not
!’

‘Have you asked him?’

‘If he’s already married? No, he’d think I didn’t trust him.’

‘Well, perhaps you should,’ Erin replied, although she doubted
very much that if Ross McManus was married, and inclined towards philandering, he’d readily admit his marital status while he had such intimate and ready access to a young woman as appealing as her cousin.

Keely rolled her eyes theatrically. ‘Oh, all right then, I
will
ask him, if it makes you feel better. You’ll see!’

But Keely didn’t ask Ross, not for another ten weeks, and by then the question had been answered.

Those weeks were wonderful, filled with excitement and intimacy and passion. She went to him at every opportunity and, in the privacy and warmth of his bed, they lay together and explored each other’s bodies intimately. He was a vigorous and evidently insatiable lover, and under his tutelage she learnt to satisfy his every desire.

So far their trysts had remained more or less secret. Erin was aware, of course, but Keely knew she wouldn’t say anything, and Ross has been close-mouthed as well. In fact, he’d made it very clear to Keely that he didn’t want anyone else to know — it was to be their secret, he said, something just for them. But in a way Keely almost wanted to be discovered. Then, even if she were to be sent home in disgrace, they could announce their love to the world. She wouldn’t mind going back to New Zealand if she knew Ross would be joining her when he had finished his service, and she would be more than happy to give up her nursing career in exchange for becoming Mrs Ross McManus. At least her father would be pleased, she reflected — he’d never been particularly thrilled by the idea of her having a professional career. And eventually there would be children, and perhaps, if they lived in the Hawke’s Bay rather than Auckland, their children would grow up with Erin and Joseph’s children, and they could go on
being a big, noisy, happy family, despite having lost Ian.

She was thinking about this, and having a cup of tea and one of the hospital’s rock-hard date scones in the staffroom, when she happened to look out of the window and see a yellow automobile park in the drive. A rather dashing man, dressed in a duster coat, goggles and driving gloves, jumped out and stood gazing about with his hands on his hips. He looked lost. Keely recognised the motor as the Stutz Bearcat in which Ross had taken her to town on their first night together, and she wondered if this were the owner, and what he was doing here. She went outside and called to him from the steps.

‘Hello! Are you looking for someone? Are you lost?’

The man removed his goggles and gloves, tossed them onto the passenger seat and strode towards her, his boots scrunching on the gravel of the drive.

‘Hello,’ he answered in a rather upper-class English accent. ‘Well, possibly — I’m looking for Ross McManus, a friend of mine. He’s a doctor here.’

‘Yes, that’s right. I can fetch him for you if you like,’ Keely replied, smiling. ‘May I say who wants him?’

‘Oh, sorry. Gerald Halstead,’ he said, extending his hand. ‘He’s been telling me I should drop in and see how the New Zealanders are set up, but I haven’t had time until now. I’m a doctor myself, you see, with the military at the moment, of course.’ He unbuttoned his coat to reveal a British Army uniform and went on chattily, ‘Ross and I were at medical school together in London. Mind you, that was years ago now. Been great friends ever since though, despite him haring off back to New Zealand the minute he passed his finals.’

Keely smiled again, delighted to be meeting one of Ross’s friends. She opened her mouth to say how enjoyable it had been to ride in such a glamorous motor car, and to thank him for allowing Ross
the use of it, when Gerald patted his tunic pocket and added, ‘I’ve a letter for him, from Evie. Apparently she’s misplaced the address here so she forwarded it to me to pass on.’

‘Evie?’

‘Yes,’ he replied casually, shrugging out of his coat. ‘Evelyn McManus.’

‘His sister?’ Keely felt suddenly sick.

‘No, my sister actually. Ross’s wife.’

C
HAPTER
F
OURTEEN

S
he slammed through the doors into the ward, almost knocking an orderly off his feet in her rage. She had never in all her
life
felt so hurt, angry and utterly betrayed. What an absolute fool she had been! What an
innocent
!

But still, beneath her fury there squirmed a little worm of hope hinting that this was all a dreadful misunderstanding, that even if there was a Mrs McManus already, her relationship with Ross would be barren and loveless, and that she, Keely, had revived in him the affection and passion of which he had been so tragically deprived. But she was still outraged. How could he have lied to her like that?

Ross was bent over a patient and didn’t look up as she approached.

‘Doctor, a word!’ she snapped.

He turned in surprise, his look of enquiry quickly fading to one of puzzled consternation.

Keely hissed in his face, ‘You
bastard
!’

‘I beg your pardon?’

‘Your brother-in-law’s here, with a letter for you from your
wife
.’

Ross had the decency to flush deeply, then the expression on his face changed from embarrassment to anger. He stood up. ‘Not here, Keely, for God’s sake.’

‘Where then?’ she almost screeched. ‘The staffroom perhaps?’

‘Keep your voice down!’ He grabbed her arm and steered her out of the ward and into the corridor where he turned to face her. ‘What the hell do you think you’re doing?’

‘
Me
? What am
I
doing? You cheating, lying bastard!’ She drew back her hand and slapped him hard across his face.

He didn’t retaliate but, suddenly aware of a nurse and an orderly who had stopped to stare in amazement, roughly took her arm again, propelled her into the supply room and kicked the door shut.

There was a knock immediately.

Ross yelled, ‘Go away!’

He waited for the sound of receding footsteps, then rounded on Keely.

‘Did you have to make a scene?’

‘You
lied
to me!’ Her voice was shrill and petulant now, and she hated herself for it.

‘No,’ he said slowly, ‘I don’t think I did.’

‘You’re
married
!’

‘Yes.’

Keely was incredulous. ‘Aren’t you even going to try and deny it?’

Ross leant against a shelf and folded his arms. ‘No, I’m not. And I haven’t lied —
you
never asked.’

‘Why the hell
should
I have asked? You were acting like the world’s most eligible bachelor!’

‘Yes, and you were acting like the world’s most available good-time girl.’

Keely slapped him again. This time he took hold of her wrist and threatened, ‘You do that again and I’ll hit you back.’

She wrenched her arm out of his grasp and spat, ‘Go on then, hit me! You’ve done everything else to me, why not that?’

Ross took a deep breath and rubbed his hands wearily over his face. ‘Look, Keely, I’m sorry. I hadn’t realised you were quite
so naive. Really — you always seemed so sophisticated and self-assured. And you
didn’t
ask, so I assumed it didn’t matter to you. We are in the middle of a war, after all, and everyone takes what comfort they can these days.’

‘Do they? Well, I don’t. Not in the way you’re suggesting any way.’

‘But you did though, and you certainly seemed to enjoy it.’

‘Yes, I did. But I thought we …’ She faltered; she didn’t want to make an even bigger fool of herself. ‘I thought I was more to you than just a …
comfort
.’