Whispers of Moonlight (26 page)

Pine Grove

Preston Carwell was a patient man; there was no denying that. He had not given Angel the rush act but still made it very clear that he was interested. It had taken months for her to
see that it was true, and he could tell by her face that she was still in the process of figuring out what she was going to do about it.

Many of the men he worked with took physical love where they could find it, but it had never been that way with him, or Angel for
that matter. Over the years many young dancehall girls had made it more than clear they would welcome his interest, and Angel's looks always drew male attention, but neither of them ever fell into casual affairs.

The night he'd been asked to have dinner with Angel and Rebecca had been the first of many, but it wasn't the first step to further intimacy he had hoped. Indeed, for a lime he felt he had to be more careful than ever. One day he decided to lay his cards on the table. He hinted that Angel should visit his newly built house sometime, but she never came. He now took the plunge and asked her outright, not only to see the house but also to join him for dinner. He stood absolutely still when she said yes and walked away. He might have stood still all night if Dan hadn't asked him a question. The younger man looked at him oddly for a minute but didn't press by asking Preston what was wrong. Preston was relieved to finally make his way back to his office where he wouldn't have to hold his detached expression in place. There he could give way to his emotions: too excited not to let it show on his face, but also too afraid to hope.

Boulder

Pastor Henley, a man Robert admired tremendously, held the
graveside service for Morgan Scars. Robert knew it couldn't have been easy because the pastor didn't know the young cowboy, but he did a fine job. Robert recognized the hands that turned out from the Double Star, along with
Lavena and Lucky's wife, Margo. They were all visibly shaken. Lucky's face was pale, his eyes somber, but Robert noticed that most of the other hands headed for the saloon as soon as they could get away. Only Lucky hung back, seeing his wife and Lavena to a waiting wagon.

Travis held back as well, standing quietly by the grave. Robert watched as Pastor Henley went forward and spoke for several minutes to Morgan's boss. When the pastor moved off Robert approached, watching for signs that he might be intruding. Travis turned when he came close, yesterday's anger gone from his eves,

"Hello, Travis," Robert said softly.

"Thank you for coming, Robert."

"Certainly. I only wish I'd known Morgan. I'm sorry for your loss."

"I'll be writing to his mother. She'll be glad a few were here."

Robert nodded, and both men looked down at the box waiting to be lowered into the ground.

"Andrew Wagner died," Travis said quietly to the ground. "I was his foreman. He left me the Double Star." Travis' eyes finally came to Robert's face. "I don't have more than a handful of things to send to Mrs. Sears."

"She'll appreciate the gesture nevertheless," Robert said, feeling the words were inadequate.

"Pastor Henley talked to me."

"I noticed that."

"He invited me to church."

"Did he?"

"Yes. You never have."

"No, I haven't," Robert admitted. "I'm sorry. It was foolish of me to assume that after our conversations you wouldn't want to come."

Travis' eyes went back to the grave.
I
wouldn't have believed two pastors could be so different. Pastor Henley and Pastor Craig. Pastor Craig turned my stomach, but Pastor Henley is like Robert, a man who doesn't put on a show but believes what he preaches.

Travis' mind ran riot for several minutes as he tried to come to grips with the pain in his heart. He didn't know why he accused Robert of never asking him to church; he wouldn't have gone anyway. As though he had no control over himself, Travis turned back to Robert. He heard himself asking when the service started on Sunday.

"Eleven o'clock," Robert told him simply. "Do you need to head home right now, Travis, or can we go for some coffee at the hotel, and maybe a bite to eat?"

Travis shook his head. "Thanks, but I do need to get back." Robert watched as the black hat went back on his head. "Maybe I'll see you Sunday."

Robert nodded and smiled. His hand came out, and Travis gripped it firmly. Their eyes met for just an instant, but it was enough. Church or not, Robert Langley would still be his friend.

On Sunday morning, Travis' face was nearly as pale as it had been in the Boulder Cemetery. He came into the church just before the service began, spotted Robert, and slipped into the pew beside him. The banker's heart went out to him, but surprisingly enough, when the singing was over and the sermon began Travis seemed more relaxed. Robert wondered if he had had visions of being called on to sing a solo or stand and give his name. Again the older man's heart squeezed with sympathy. He was also sensitive when Pastor Henley asked the small group of worshipers to open their Bibles to the book of Job. Robert shifted his Bible so Travis could follow along.

"I'm going to read from all over the book today, but before I do that I'm going to remind you where
we have been with Job. In the space of just minutes. Job lost his children, flocks and herds, and most of his servants as well. Later he lost his health and even his friends turned against him. Now keep all of that in mind as I read from various chapters.

"Chapter 1:20, 21, and 22 start us out. 'Then Job arose, and rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground, and worshipped, and said, "Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord."' In chapter 2 he said this to his wife, 'Thou speakest as one of the foolish women speaketh. What? Shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil?' Then 19:25 and following says, 'For I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth: And though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God.' And 28:24 says, 'For he looketh to the ends of the earth, and seeth under the whole heaven.' Now to chapter 33, verse 12, which states clearly that God is greater than any man. Verse 13 says God does not give account of any of His matters, In other words, He doesn't have to ask our permission for anything.

"And now some of Job's last words in the book, in chapter 42, 'Then Job answered the Lord, and said, I know that thou canst do everything, and that no thought can be withheld from thee. Who is he that hideth counsel without knowledge? Therefore have I uttered that which I understood not;
things too wonderful for me, which I knew not.'"

At this point Pastor Henley took a moment to catch his breath, his eyes scanning the attentive faces in the pews. He went on with quiet conviction.

"Some say that Job was God's plaything. Some say that Job was one of the biggest fools alive. But I say Job was one of the wisest men to have ever lived. The loss of his family must have been painful beyond anything I have ever experienced, but Job recognized something of extreme importance. He recognized that were it not for God he would never have had anything to begin with. He understood that God alone had the right to claim everything as His.

"We can fight God, my friends, but it is pure foolishness. All we have is from God's hand alone. We must come to a point where
we love and accept this. God allowed Satan to take things from Job, but God was still in control. Not Job, but God. Job was able to grasp this, and even though he had heartache over his loss, he knew that his life had great purpose."

Pastor Henley continued, but he had lost Travis. Travis still didn't know why he'd come into town. All the way to the barn, and then while he saddled Diamond, swung into the saddle, and started for town, he had told himself he was a fool, but still he kept on. It had taken the first notes of music to propel him inside the building. He had been standing and looking at the outside of the church, never once understanding what it was all about.

I'm fighting God,
Travis now thought to himself.
Why did 1 never see it that way before? I'm fighting God with all my strength.
The thought so stunned him that he couldn't even think.

Robert sensed something had happened and turned to look at him, but Travis was in a world of his own. His face was pale again, his eyes focused on
the man up front without really seeing him.

Travis stood when it was time for the last song and prayer, and Robert watched as he solemnly shook the pastor's hand on their way out. In a quiet voice, Travis agreed to Robert's offer of going to the hotel for lunch, and Robert was thankful when they had taken their scats and he could finally question him.

"Are you all right?"

Travis really looked at him for the first time. "I don't know. I discovered something about myself this morning, and I'm still thinking about it."

"Can you tell me?"

"Yes. I'm fighting God." There was wonder in his voice. "I don't know why I never saw it before, but that's what I'm doing."

Robert nodded. "I've done that at different times in my life," he admitted.

Travis was so taken with the admission that he unconsciously leaned forward across the table. "What did you do about it?"

"Well, it usually involved my not wanting to give something up or accept some new aspect of my life. I'm a very logical person, Travis, and at times like those it comes in handy. I think I'm going to be utterly miserable if I give in to God, but then I take stock of my present situation and learn that I'm already about as miserable as a man can get. It usually doesn't take too much longer after that to surrender my will to God's. And I'll tell you something, Travis. Nothing in the world can compare to the peace of God."

Travis licked his lips. It was on the tip of his tongue to tell Robert that God would want nothing to do with him if He knew what a hatred he had felt for his father over the years or what a mess he'd made of his marriage, but very swiftly Travis knew how foolish such thoughts were. God was God. He knew it all anyway. Why was that so suddenly clear to him?

At the same time Travis realized Robert was right. He couldn't get much more miserable than he was right now. However, he wasn't certain of the next step. Should he read the Bible? If he suddenly agreed with God that everything bad happens for a purpose, would that give him peace? And what about Rebecca? If he began to pray and read the Bible, would God tell him if she was all right?

"You look like you have a lot on your mind."

Robert's comment broke into his thoughts, but Travis could only nod. Robert could
see that he didn't want to talk, so he let it pass. Their food arrived before the silence grew too long, and when the meal was over Travis rode out of town without ever having told Robert what was on his mind.

Pine Grove

Preston lay back in bed and watched Angel brush her hair before the tall mirror in his bedroom. He had been a fool. He told himself if he could just claim her as his woman, it would be enough, but it wasn't, not even close. Every time she spent the night, he wanted her to stay for the rest of the day. Every time he saw her in his kitchen, he wanted her there forever, across the table from him or working side by side on a meal. He wanted her clothing hanging in the closet beside his, and her hairbrush on the dresser by his own. For weeks now they had been intimately involved, but it wasn't enough.

The first night he'd asked her to come to dinner and she'd accepted without a moment's hesitation came rushing back to his mind. He'd known such regret that she had been so swift to agree he wished he'd asked sooner. He wasn't going to wait and think about this for weeks; he would ask her just as soon

His thoughts cut oft' when he realized she was staring at him in the mirror. Their eyes locked and held, but Preston didn't speak until Angel turned and continued to look at him.

"Move in with me," he commanded her softly and watched as her eyes grew tender.

"I wondered what was on your mind."

"You are. And I want you here all the lime."

He watched her sigh.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Becky. Dan has been seeing someone pretty regularly, and I'm here all the time." She paused. "I can't just leave her and the boys."

"I don't know why not. You told me the two boys drive you crazy."