Whisper's Edge (14 page)

Kate sat down on her sofa and stared at the flat-screen television that had been a Christmas gift to herself last year. The purchase had been a Black Friday door-buster deal that had her up before the crack of dawn, even though she didn’t really need to pinch pennies. But unlike the stupid juicer, the television was something she would at least use. While Kate knew she could find a better paying job elsewhere, she enjoyed running Whisper’s Edge and the freedom from facing stressful sales quotas and endless hours on the road.

With a sigh, Kate picked up the remote to click the sound back on, but she’d seen
Love Actually
too many times to count, and it was coming to the Joni Mitchell song scene where she always cried and so she changed the channel. “A million channels and nothing to watch,” she grumbled and turned on her old standby, the Food Network. Bobby Flay was grilling some amazing-looking black-and-bleu burgers, and Kate’s stomach rumbled in protest. “Oh, that looks so darned good.” She turned the sound on and listened to the instructions for how to cook the perfect backyard burger. Bobby was so right…you’ve got to have a really quality bun.

Kate made a mental note to pay Grammar’s Bakery a
visit this upcoming week. The only problem was that Kate knew she’d leave the bakery with way more than a dozen burger buns. Hell, she gained a pound just entering the fragrant shop. Visions of cinnamon cake danced in her head, and her mouth watered. She was getting really hungry but didn’t have the gumption to fix anything, and the prospect of going out to dinner by her lonesome simply didn’t appeal, especially after the fun she’d had on Friday night. Sometimes a table for one just sucked.

Feeling glum, she walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge, knowing full well that there wasn’t going to be anything in there that would interest her after seeing that damned juicy burger perched on the golden, toasted bun. The jar of pickle spears mocked her. Damn, she craved a burger.

Sully’s Tavern served some pretty good burgers and his French fries were hand cut with the skin still on, just the way Kate liked them. But then again, his onion rings were crispy bites of deliciousness. Not exactly heart-healthy, but if she walked, she wouldn’t feel so guilty about eating bodacious but bad-for-you bar food. Besides, Kate reasoned, all she’d had to eat all day long was a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios, so she could splurge on a few extra calories. Right?

Right! Oh, she could justify with the best of them.

Her decision made, Kate hurried to her closet and changed from her sweatpants to a pair of white Capri pants, but instead of going for her usual sweater set, she opted for a soft blue button-down blouse that she’d bought last year but had never worn. Not quite satisfied, she added a simple silver cuff bracelet and slipped into a new pair of white Clark’s sandals that she had been saving, for what reason she’d never know. Kate had an entire closet full of clothes she was saving for a special occasion that never seemed to arrive.

“There,” she said, but then scowled at her image in the mirror. “When did I go and get this damned old?” she
grumbled, and felt a lump form in her throat. She headed with angry steps into the bathroom and started rummaging through the makeup that she rarely took the time to use. Friday had been the first time in a long while she’d made an effort, and Kate had to admit that it felt good to have a reason to care about her appearance.

After a few minutes of primping she examined herself in the mirror. “A little better.” She fluffed up her short layers until they framed her face. But after she sprayed on some perfume, Kate suddenly wondered why in the world she was going through all the trouble since she was once again flying solo.

“Oh, to hell with it,” she said and toed off her sandals. Her stomach rumbled in protest but she ignored it and sat down on the bed so hard that she actually bounced. But really, eating alone sometimes just sucked so badly. She’d have to buy a newspaper or something because, really, where do you look when you’re sitting there all by yourself? She sometimes played with her phone, even though she had no clue as to what most of the bells and whistles were for. Kate inhaled sharply and then decided that maybe Savannah would go with her. Besides, she really wanted to get the scoop on why Tristan McMillan had paid her a visit.

Kate reached into her purse for her phone but before she could scroll down for Savannah’s number, it rang that annoying cheerful tune that she didn’t know how to change.

“Kate!” Savannah said, sounding as if she were in a state of panic.

“Oh, sweetie, what’s wrong?”

“Tristan is coming back here to eat dinner with me. What am I going to do?”

“Um, feed him?”

“Very funny,” Savannah said, but something in her tone gave Kate pause.

“Savannah, I know you can cook, so what aren’t you telling me?”

There was a moment of silence and then, “Nothing.”

“Savannah, just spill. You know I’ll get it out of you in due time anyway.”

“He might have…Oh, Kate!”

“What?” Feeling a flash of alarm, Kate sat up straight. “He might have what?”

“
Kissed
me,” Savannah replied in a stage whisper.

“Kissed you?” Kate sank back down with relief.

“Maybe…”

“Maybe?” Kate smiled. “Sugar, there doesn’t seem to be a lot of gray area here.”

“Okay, he did.”

“And?”

“I am in full-blown off-the-charts panic.”

“Savannah, he is just a boy, and it was just a kiss.”

“No…and hell to the
no
!”

“So it was more than that?”

“Kate, he’s my
boss
and the
kiss
knocked my socks off.”

“So it wasn’t just a little peck?”

“Nooo!”

“Savannah…”

“It must have been the wine.”

“Wine?”

“He brought a bottle and we had a glass of it on my patio. No, wait. We had two.”

“And one thing led to another?” Kate looked up at the ceiling and smiled.

“No! Nothing led to anything. We were just talking and he was going to leave, but then, well, he suddenly just, well, kissed me. I did not egg him on or flirt one little bit.”

“Maybe he’s been thinking about you as much as you’ve been thinking about him.”

“Kate, you don’t understand. I am a flipping mess. I said I’d cook for him! What was I thinking? Huh? Have I lost my ever-loving mind?”

“Like I said, you can cook. And quite well, I might add.”

Savannah groaned.

“What are you fixing?”

“We’re grilling steaks. Oh damn, I’ve got to light the charcoal.”

“He’ll do the grilling. It’s a guy thing. All you need is some baked potatoes and a tossed salad. Do you have all that stuff?”

“Yes,” she answered in a small voice.

“Then stop freaking out.”

“I can’t! Kate, I’m sweating. Sweat-
ing
!” She drew out the world for at least ten seconds. “There’s not a deodorant in the world that could handle my armpits right now. Kate, it’s not about cooking in general. It’s about cooking for Tristan McMillan.”

“Calm down. Put on something cool like that cute yellow sundress that you bought at Violet’s but haven’t worn.”

“But my hair is crazy as usual.”

“Put your hair in a bun.”

“Okay…okay, now what?”

“Are you actually taking notes?”

“Maybe.”

“Put on a little makeup and your favorite perfume.”

“And?”

“Relax!”

“I can’t.”

Kate had to chuckle softly. Somewhere, in the back of her mind where a door was firmly locked, she remembered what it was like to feel the excitement of a first kiss. Falling in love was such a heady feeling…like floating on air. She wanted that for Savannah. She deserved to be loved and treasured.

But Kate knew the pain of loss and she put a sudden hand to her chest. After all these years the feeling could still steal her breath and cause physical pain. She didn’t want that for Savannah.

“Kate?”

Kate cleared her throat. Yes, falling in love was exhilarating. Breathtaking.

Heartbreaking.

But worth the risk! Her heart pounded at that frightening thought.

“Just breathe, Savannah. Enjoy. We can’t choose who we’re attracted to or who we fall for. Forget about anything other than you like being with him. Just go with the flow.”

“That’s exactly what I told him and look at the mess I’m in.”

Kate chuckled. “You can do it.”

“Easier said than done but I guess I should practice what I preach. Wait. What
you
preach!”

Kate chuckled again. “I want a full report tomorrow.”

“Okay, I think I’ve calmed down. A little. I just hope I can eat. This was just so…unexpected.”

“That’s how life is. Now go get ready, would you please?”

“Okay…but—”

“But nothing! Like I said, just have fun and be yourself, Savannah. Remember, I said a full report tomorrow.” Kate ended the call and frowned. Now who would she have dinner with? “Well, there goes that plan up in a puff of smoke,” she grumbled, but had to smile for Savannah’s sake. But then her smile wobbled at the corners, and she thought she’d just open a damned can of soup or heat up a frozen dinner. But the vision of Bobby Flay’s burger made that idea very unappealing. Kate inhaled a cleansing breath and looked down at her new sandals. After a moment she slipped them back on and lifted her chin. Hot emotion filled her throat but she swallowed hard and shrugged it off. Dinner for one again…so what?

Kate put a hand over her stomach and felt the pain and hollow loss wash over her again, but then inhaled another breath and grabbed her purse. With determined steps she headed for the door.
Feeling sorry for yourself will get you back on a long road to nowhere.
With great effort, Kate pushed the past from her mind and decided she’d treat herself to a dinner out on the town. Anything was better than being caught up in her own head like this.

Sunday night would be low-key at Sully’s but still have
some music and laughter, which would hopefully make her feel alive instead of going through the motions.

Oh, but it didn’t help that Cricket Creek Park was filled with families picnicking beneath shelters. Music and laugher filtered her way and her heart suddenly ached with longing when she passed the swing sets on the playground. If Craig hadn’t cheated, her life would have been so different. Would she have had more children? She hadn’t told anyone of her miscarriage, not even her family. Instead, she had packed her bags and taken her pain with her on the road and channeled all of her efforts into making money.

Oh…so much anger, so much pain, so much sorrow.

Kate’s legs suddenly felt like they were made of jelly, and she had to sit down on a park bench. Why oh
why
had she let her thoughts go down this path? It was pointless and yet it seeped into her brain when she least expected it.

Kate knew why. Menopause made her emotional in more ways than simply the imbalance of hormones. The stark reality was that she was getting older…old enough to be a legal resident of Whisper’s Edge. She was beyond middle age and heading into her twilight years. While many of the residents were robust and living a full life, some of them had serious health issues, and Kate had seen the death of many of them over the years. Each time it hit her hard that life was very quickly passing her by.

Kate closed her eyes and inhaled the scent of charcoal, summer blossoms, and sunscreen. She heard the giggles of children, the laughter of teenagers, and the crack of a bat hitting a ball. She longed to be sitting at a picnic table laden with casseroles and desserts, chatting with moms while the dads grilled and kids played. With a jolt, Kate realized that she could very well have been a grandma by now. What would it feel like to hold a grandchild in your arms; a child that was the image of your own?

Kate wanted to get up and make a beeline for home, but sorrow held her rooted to the wooden bench. Grief that
she’d held pent up for years suddenly bubbled to the surface and it was all she could do to hold herself together. Dear God, this was not the time or the place to have a meltdown, but her body didn’t seem to care one iota.

“Kate?”

She heard her name as if through a fog and looked up to see Ben standing next to the bench. His big body blocked out the sun and Kate hoped she didn’t look as stricken as she felt.

“Are you okay?”

Well, so much for that hope.

“Yeah,” she managed in a strangled voice that didn’t even sound like her own. She swiped at a tear.

“Allergies?” he asked, and sat down beside her.

“Ragweed,” she choked out.

“Thought so. You look nice.”

“Not many people would say that I’m nice.” She reached deep for her humor.

Ben chuckled. “Let me try that again. You look pretty.”

Kate narrowed her eyes at him. “Have you been drinking? Got your beer goggles on?”

Ben held up an index finger. “One beer while I waited for my takeout at Sully’s.” He pointed to a white plastic bag sitting between his feet.

“That wouldn’t happen to be a black-and-bleu cheeseburger with extra crispy bacon, would it?”

“No.”

“Good for you because I was going to grab it and run like hell,” she joked, and to her relief her voice only cracked a little bit.

Ben laughed, and damned if it didn’t almost chase away her blues.

“And you wouldn’t have had a chance in hell of catching me.”

He laughed harder, and for some reason, hearing his laughter gave her…hope. Why, she didn’t know, but she
couldn’t explain her recent emotions to anyone lately. But Ben was making her feel better so she clung to that. “It’s called the Cowboy with bacon and barbecue sauce.”

“Ahhh bacon. Good enough. Will you share?”

“Hell no.”

“Well, you could have at least thought about it, or at the very least pretended to consider my request, anyway.”

“I thought about stopping by your place to see if you wanted to go grab a bite to eat with me.”

“W-what?” His admission took her by surprise.

Ben shrugged slightly. “I wish I would have.”

“Oh. I was actually headed to Sully’s but got…a charley horse in my…” Where in the world does a person get a charley horse? “My ass,” she finally said, since she knew he wasn’t buying her bull.