Whiskey Girl (13 page)

“You don’t go into work until this evening,
right?” He asked the question, making sure his plans would not interfere with
anything.

Ausha nodded. “Jeff’s opening today. What
time do you have to go in?”

He was nervous as hell about the decision
he’d made, but there was nothing to do about it except follow through. “In
about an hour. I have someplace I want to take you though.”

She must have caught on to something in his
tone. While pulling on a pair of jeans, she turned toward him. “Sounds
ominous.”

He kept his gaze steady on her and hoped
like hell it was reassuring. “Doesn’t have to be.”

A low grumble of displeasure left her
mouth, which appeared to be pinched with anxiety, leaving her lips flat instead
of full and lush the way he preferred. “Tell me.”

The good mood they’d shared dissipated into
thin air, leaving a thick feeling of discomfort in its wake. She was going to
be pissed the fuck off, that much Doug already knew.

Doesn’t matter,
he
reminded himself. She needs this, has shown she’s ready even if she’s not
always willing to take the first steps herself.

God please let him be right. To Ausha he said,
“Finish dressing and I’ll show you.” Doug didn’t give her the chance to argue
with him as he threw on the rest of his clothes from the day before and went
out to his vehicle where he collected the spare set of clothes he kept in his
trunk.

When they were both dressed and ready, he
ushered her toward his truck. “I need my car.” She was going to give him grief
for every little thing until she knew what was going on and where they were
headed.

“No, you don’t. I’ll pick you up after I
get off work and bring you home.”

Her upper lip lifted in a snarl. Doug was
sure she would have blasted him with a crap load of profanity had he not pinned
her with a warning stare that spoke volumes about how sore her ass would be if
she kept it up.

“Fine,” she huffed. He was sure he heard
something about saving her from stubborn-ass men after that, but chose not to
acknowledge her fit of pique.

The drive was quiet in an uncomfortable
sort of way. Ausha kept glancing over at him as if he’d sprout horns and wings
any second. Doug hated it when she retreated in the untrusting, unsure shell of
her old self. He wanted to see her smile and hear her throaty laughter. It
didn’t even matter that she wore all black and could drink most men under the
table with her love for Jack Daniel’s, she was a perfect match for him.

When Doug couldn’t handle the silence
anymore, he pulled over to the side of the road. “Unfasten your seat belt and
scooch over here close to me, darlin’.”

Ausha stared at her hands but made no move
to do as he’d asked. Stubborn little piece!

“Come on and do as I said. You know you
want to cuddle up next to me.” He reached across and tugged the shoulder strap
until she turned her glaring eyes toward him.

“You are so damn bossy!”

“I’ve been told that before.” Once she was
settled and buckled back in, he gathered her close. “See now. Isn’t that
better?”

Doug knew by the way she looked at him that
her response was not going to be nice. Instead of allowing her to relieve her
fear and stress on him, which would make her feel guilty, he kissed her.

Their kiss was long, slow and very, very
thorough. He skimmed every nook and cranny of the dark, warm recess of her
mouth with his tongue, nipped with his teeth and sucked with his lips. She
tasted sweet even when she was being ornery.

When they pulled up to the town hall
building, which stood across the street from Malone’s, he felt Ausha relax
against him. Doug hated with a passion he was the one who was causing her so
much anxiety now. He had to believe in the long run it would be well worth it.

“But I don’t have to be in to work until
later.”

“I know, sweetheart.”

“Then why are we here?” He could hear the
nervousness in her voice again.

Doug placed a finger under her chin, making
sure he had her complete and undivided attention. “They hold meetings here.”

Ausha backed away from him, turning on the
seat until she was facing him fully. “What kind of meetings?” Her voice was
nearly a whisper.

Not letting go of her hand, he explained.
“The type that help people deal with grief, darlin’.” He ignored her sputter of
outrage and continued on before she became too worked up. “Being such a small
town, Memory doesn’t have much in the way of groups like this. Marjory Lincoln
comes to town a couple of times a month to hold support-group-type meetings for
people dealing with stuff in their lives. She’s a grief counselor and has been
for a long while.”

“I’m not sure I want to do this.” Tears
stained her voice, making it huskier. “I don’t think I’m ready.”

Forcing her to go in there when she seemed
so vulnerable was going to be fucking hard, but she needed it and she was
ready. Ready to live again, ready to resume her place in society.

“I
know
you can do this, Ausha.”

As he knew it would, his tone set her off.
“And just how the fuck do you know! Huh? Tell me, Mr. Macho Policeman. How
could you possibly know?”

She flung her arms out then dropped them
into her lap, twisting the white-knuckled fingers together. Doug grabbed each
side of her face, bringing her closer to him once again. “I know because I see
you, darlin’. The real you, not the person who makes believe she doesn’t care
for anyone including herself. I see you.” He kissed her hard then let her go.
“I see the laughter in your eyes screaming to get out. I see the smiles you
keep hidden, hear the laughter you used to choke on. I saw the way you looked
at the pictures of your beautiful baby girl and I
know
!”

Tears welled in her eyes, threatening to
spill over. She blinked rapidly and sniffled once. Fuck! “Dammit, baby,” he
growled as he pulled her into his arms. “I’m so sorry this is on you. No one
should have to deal with shit like this. No one, Ausha, but for whatever reason
it’s you. This is where you are.” He leaned back so he could see her better.
“I’m your tough love, baby, so don’t ever forget it. Now wipe your eyes and go
in there and get your life back.”

Doug let Ausha go then opened the driver’s
side door and got out. He walked slowly around the front of the truck, giving
her time to compose herself before opening the passenger door and helping her
out. When her feet were on the ground, he didn’t let her go. “I know you’re
pissed at me, and that’s okay, but before you start plotting to shank me in my
sleep,” he once again grasped each side of her face, cradling her soft flesh in
his hands, “know how much I love you.” He hadn’t said those words in quite
awhile. They felt funny on his lips, but oh so right.

Setting a gape-mouthed Ausha onto the
sidewalk, he swatted her ass then climbed back into his truck and backed out.
It was going to be one hell of a long day was all he could think as he drove
away, trying hard not to check the rearview mirror and failing miserably.

Chapter Eleven

He loved her?
Ausha
snorted as she poured herself another Jack. Sure he did, she thought sullenly.
Loved her so damn much he threw her to the wolves. She shook her head. Only one
wolf really. All the rest seemed to be as fucked up as she was.

“I’m not going to think about it.” Her
mumbled words were slurred as she poured herself another round.

“Everything okay, boss?”

Had she been sober, Ausha would have
realized how worried Jeff was and how oddly the bar’s patrons were looking at
her. Always in control of everything, from her emotions right down to how much
booze she drank probably made seeing her throw back one after another a very
strange sight.

She couldn’t seem to bring herself to care.
Right now all she could focus on was forgetting. Forgetting so much ugly
happened out in the great big world they all inhabited, forgetting how she sat
there and listened to story after story. Introducing herself had been bad
enough. Since moving to Memory, Ausha had kept to herself and purposefully so.
She didn’t need anyone, didn’t want to need anyone.

“Fucking rat bastard,” she mumbled under
her breath, thinking about Doug. Not only had he made her want to live again,
but he’d set up one of the single most miserably embarrassing experiences of
her life.

Ugh!

How could she have told her story to a
complete stranger much less turn into a sniveling sorry excuse for life in
front of her? Hell, news had probably spread like wildfire as happens in small
towns. Before she knew it, everyone and their uncle would be coming in to see
the freak show.

“What was that?”

Huh? Oh hell, Jeff was still standing
there. Staring. Watching. “Not meant for your ears, Jeff. And yes, I’m fine,”
she added as an afterthought, waving him away from the end of the bar where she
huddled with her very favorite bottle of Jack.

Losing a loved one doesn’t give you the
right to stop living, young lady.

Ausha wasn’t sure she would ever forget the
stern tone of voice coming from the deceivingly grandmotherly type Marjory. The
elderly grief counselor had at least waited until everyone else had left the
building before jumping on her. The horrible part was that after hearing
Marjory’s story, Ausha couldn’t even work up the anger to verbally retaliate.

She’d lost her whole family, daughter,
grandchild and husband when her son-in-law had crashed the family’s small
fixed-wing aircraft while flying under the influence. Ausha couldn’t even
imagine living through such a thing and said as much. Marjory had only smiled,
a sad little smile of understanding, then went on diligently about being put on
Earth for a reason and feeling the need to see it out until her last breath.

If I’d been meant to go, I would have
been on that plane with my family.

Shaking her head as if to clear it, Ausha
gulped down another swig of whiskey, enjoying the burn as it slid down her
throat. She didn’t want to remember Marjory’s parting words. The things she’d
said made entirely too much sense. She’d be perfectly fine forgetting the day
had ever happened, but knew turning back the clock wasn’t an option, which
meant she had some rough days and tasks ahead of her. Ausha figured that was
probably what pissed her off the most.

Her wrist was stopped mid-pour when she
lifted the nearly empty bottle for another. When she looked up, it was only to
find a set of deep blue eyes trained on her.

“I think you’re done for the night,
sweetheart.”

“Sorry, Doug, there’s not enough left for
the both of us. Call Jeff over and he’ll get you your own bottle.”

Ausha chuckled at her joke. Doug’s brows
furrowed. For some reason, that made her a bit nervous but she had no idea why.
When she went to smooth the furrows away with a finger, she poked the side of
his nose instead. “Oops.”

“Put the bottle down, baby. I’m taking you
home.”

Home?

But she couldn’t leave now. Looking around
the bar as if it were obvious, she looked back to Doug. “I can’t go right now.
I’m working.”

His frown deepened. Taking the bottle from
her, he set it on the bar then grasped her cold hand in his. The warmth stole
up her arm. His touch was magic, the type she probably had no business
experiencing.

“Jeff can cover for you.”

He could?

Ausha looked longingly at the bottle
sitting all alone on the bar. She really wanted to snuggle up somewhere with it
and forget the world existed. Speaking of snuggling, she was starting to feel
pretty tired.

“Okay. I think I need to go to sleep
anyway.”

Doug helped her off the stool she’d been
occupying since coming back from the meeting from hell. “Nope, not going to
think about it anymore.”

When Doug bent down to look at her, Ausha
realized she must have spoken out loud again. Waving her hand, she muttered,
“Nothing. Never mind.” Moving seemed like a good plan if she was going to get
home and to her bed where hopefully sleep would consume her quickly.

It sounded like a really great idea until
she went to put one foot in front of the other. Walking wasn’t going to work so
well, she feared. Ausha’s attempt was short lived as her feet stumbled, causing
her head to spin and her gut to roil.

“Oh hell, come on, darlin’. Up you go.”

Ausha didn’t even have time to figure out
what in the world Doug was talking about as the ground disappeared from beneath
her feet. A little yelp left her lips as she tried to get her eyes to focus and
her head to stop spinning.

She didn’t even consider asking to be put
down. It was one of those rare occasions in which she felt safe. Laying her
head on his chest, Ausha thought things might just end up perfect after all…as
long as she didn’t puke on them both.

Most of the short trip home was spent with
her window down and her face in front of the air vent. The meeting was starting
to come back to her, clearer and in great detail. Now that she was no longer
chugging Jack, Ausha was starting to feel a bit queasy.