Whiskey and Lace (Lace Series) (4 page)

"You won't say a word?" I arched an eyebrow. 

"No." His jaw clenched. 

"Any other rules?"

"No short dresses around him." And with that Carter hauled me over to his side of the seat and straddled me across his lap. "And answer your fucking phone next time." 

"I didn't want to talk to you." I crossed my arms and a small smile played across my lips. 

"You drive me insane, woman." His palms trailed up the bare skin of my thighs and underneath my dress.  

"You drive me insane." I tugged his hair between my fingers. A grin lifted one side of his mouth and my heart melted. I kissed him long and soft on the lips and savored his taste. I inhaled his freshwater scent and my nerves buzzed with energy. 

"I couldn't stand it when you didn't answer my calls." He pulled away and whispered in my ear. I took another breath and nuzzled into the crook of his neck. "I can't wait to take you away this weekend." He brushed his hand down my hair. 

"Me too," I breathed into his ear. 

As Cate and I got ready to go to dinner that evening I filled her in on the fight Carter and I had had. Now that we'd resolved the situation, regardless of how grudgingly Carter had caved, I was ready to share.

"I see his point." Cate shrugged as she twirled her hair around a curling iron. 

"What?" I whipped around to face her. 

"Sure. Would you like him hanging around his ex? Someone who he'd slept with?"

"Definitely not." I shook my head emphatically. "But it's Sawyer. We grew up together, and he's your brother. I can't not see him."

"Maybe not, but I still get it. He may have went about it the wrong way, but I get it." She tipped her head over and fingered through the curls to loosen them. I frowned at her. 

"Do you like him?" I asked her thoughtfully. 

"Who wouldn't? He's smokin', Eva. But I think he's different with you. Difficult for sure, but he's used to getting what he wants; used to women throwing themselves at him. You don't, and I think he likes it." She waggled her eyebrows at me and laughed. 

"I can't believe you're siding with Carter on this." I flopped on her bed and crossed my arms. 

"I'm not siding with him, I just see his point." She sat down on the bed beside me. "Look, he told you he's never brought anyone to his home before. He's taking you to Aspen this weekend. He chases you when you leave, Eva. You've got him on his knees; he can't stand being without you. I doubt he's used to feeling that way." She fingered a tendril of my hair. 

"Come on, I am starving and there is Teppanyaki in my future." She hauled me off the bed and linked her arm in mine as we headed out for dinner. 

-
Meet me for lunch
. Carter's text came a few days later.

-
I know what that means.
 I smiled as I sat perched on a bar stool at home with my laptop open before me. Cate was holed up in her room sketching and the apartment was actually silent. Japanese had been delicious the night before and we'd come home stuffed and happy. We broke into the wine and watched reruns of Real Housewives of New Jersey until late. It felt great to have girl-time with Cate. I'd been so busy the past week that recharging over wine and Real Housewives was just what I'd needed. 

-
Interested in a repeat of Monday?

-
Always.
 I texted back.

-
Evangeline… you drive me insane
.

-
Back at you, buddy.

-
Always the comedian. Seriously, I'll take you out for lunch. Be here at one.

-
Yes, sir
.

-
I like that.
 

-
Of course you do
.

I walked the few blocks down Clarendon to meet Carter at The Hancock for lunch. Leaves swirled around my feet as the wind cut through the busy Boston streets. I'd finally settled in and had everything unpacked and I was looking forward to the weekend away with Carter. A few days tucked away in the mountains, just the two of us, felt like the perfect occasion to get to know each other. I knew there would be lots of sex, it was the one thing we did well, but maybe we could actually work on not driving each other insane the rest of the time.

I glanced down at my phone and realized I was 15 minutes early. I turned the corner and saw the Bentley sitting outside with Parker standing at the door. My steps quickened and a smile spread across my face. Just then Nikki Vilanova sauntered out of the glass doors of the building in an obscenely tight dress and a cropped leather jacket. Her cheeks were flushed and she ran a hand through tousled hair. She exchanged words with Parker and then slid into the open door of the Bentley. Parker got into the front seat and the car pulled away from the curb. 

My brain ran a million miles a minute. What was she doing here? And why did she look like she'd just had a lunchtime "date" with Carter? Cheeks flushed with pleasure and hair that looked like strong fingers had just been twisted in it. My stomach clenched at the thought and I felt like I would be sick right here on the busy street. I took a few deep breaths. There was no way I could see him now. I didn't want to. There was only one reason a girl came walking out of her exes office looking like that. I turned on my heal and walked back the way I'd came with a painful lump in my throat.

I was walking away from him. I was leaving the most amazing man I’d ever been with. The man who drove me mad with anger and lust. The man who trampled all over my life and my heart. 

If my emotions hadn't been so jumbled the last 24 hours; if Carter and I weren't just coming off of a huge emotional cluster; if things had been different, maybe I wouldn't have walked away. 

I knew it was hard for me to get close to people. I had a tough time with emotional connection. My mom was to blame for that. She had this terrible tendency of encouraging you to open up to her and then throwing it back in your face when the time was right. After years of having my heart broken by the person who was supposed to love me the most, I began to build walls. 

Cate was the only person I was truly close to because she'd been there with me through it all. It was her I called at ten o'clock on a school night when things were rough with my mom. She was always there, and I could trust her to always be there.  

But Carter was a notorious playboy, how could I trust someone like that? I wanted to believe that Carter didn't want to hurt me; that he meant the things he said in the throes of passion. A very small slice of my heart held hope that he really felt that way, but why did it feel like so many of his actions said otherwise? 

I didn't think I could risk my heart on him. And yet no matter how hard I tried I didn't have the strength to resist him either. The connection I felt with Carter I'd never felt with anyone else, and it terrified me.

I walked another block and then hailed a taxi home. I could have walked, it was less than ten minutes, but I was barely standing on two feet at this point. My heart thrummed in my chest and my legs felt like jelly. I shut my eyes tightly and tried to keep the image of a sexed up Nikki Vilanova out of my head. It felt like tears could flow from my eyes at any moment, but they kept not coming. While part of my heart had been holding out hope that Carter felt for me the same way I felt for him, there was an equally small part that knew he was a playboy that would inevitably walk all over my feelings. 

I took a deep breath as I sat in the back of the cab and steeled myself to stay strong and walk away from Carter with as much as my heart in tact as possible. I would not let this man dictate my life and my happiness. The cab pulled up to my apartment on Chandler and I stepped out a new woman. I'd only known Carter Morgan for one week; while he may have had my emotions in a twist in that time, it wasn't long enough for him to have a real, long-lasting impact. I stood on the sidewalk and turned my face to the sun and took a deep breath. Eva Austin was back; her life was no longer dictated by the sexy, controlling CEO Carter Morgan. 

And then my phone buzzed. Carter's sexy face danced across my screen. My resolve nearly crumpled. A part of me wanted to slump on the sidewalk, or move far away so Carter couldn't find me. And then I remembered Carter's stalker tendencies and I knew I wouldn't be able to escape him.  

A text message from Carter flashed across the screen. 

-
Where are you?
I wanted to run back into his arms and have him give me another one of his explanations, for which he always had. Because in some ways, it would be easy to deal with his moody, controlling personality, and be consumed by him. 

But I didn't think my heart could stand it. What could he possibly say to make this ok? Was there any reason she would be there other than he was fucking her brains out across his desk? My stomach clenched again and tears sprung to my eyes. I knew this would happen. I knew I was falling for this man too fast and too soon and I knew he would trample all over my emotions.  

Another text flitted across my screen

-
Is everything ok?
I clenched my teeth together and turned off my phone. I couldn't tempt myself with Carter anymore. I walked up the steps and into my apartment building. 

Cate sat sketching on the couch when I walked in the door. "What's up?" She glanced at me and then her smile fell when she saw my face. "Eva, what happened? Are you ok?" She looked me up and down.  

"I’m fine. It's Carter. We've just… we're over." I set my bag on the floor and curled up on the couch. 

"Oh, honey, why?" Cate sat next to me with concern in her eyes. 

"I need wine first, so much wine," I mumbled. 

"Done!" Cate bounced into the kitchen and poured us each a glass of red wine and then I filled her in on the past 24 hours with Carter. She listened thoughtfully as I rambled for what felt like forever.

"That prick." 

I couldn't help but giggle. My emotions were so raw and jumbled, it felt good to let it bubble out in laughter. 

"I liked him. I thought you were different. But maybe that's part of his charm. Maybe he does that with all of them." 

My heart clenched in pain. 

"God, I didn't mean that. You are different. He always dates these bitchy, blonde, bimbos. You're the opposite of that, you deserve to be treated different. I'm sorry, Eva. He's a prick." 

I gave her another halfhearted smile. "He just bulldozes me all the time. When I’m around him, I can’t think straight. I'm not my own person anymore. I just need time to think. I've never felt like this with anyone in my life, but I’m not sure that's a good thing. He fucks me up." I sipped more of my wine to try to chase the hurt from my heart. 

"Take time then, sweetie. I know you've been fucked up over him. Just give it time to get him out of your system. We're exorcising Carter Morgan from your life." She smiled and tipped her wine glass back. 

I finished my wine in one gulp and stood to drop the glass off in the sink before heading for my bedroom. 

My head hit the pillow that afternoon and I didn't wake up until the next morning. My brain was foggy as I tried to process why I had another splitting headache and it felt like I’d been crying for hours. And then I remembered yesterday with Carter. I stumbled into the bathroom and turned on the shower to try and wash away the memory of yesterday. I still wanted to talk to Carter more than anything;  I wanted things to go back to how they were, although how they were was still fucked up. But  I missed him. And then I remembered that today was Friday, and we were supposed to be going to Aspen today. My heart clenched and fresh tears streamed down my face. 

I finished washing my hair and then dressed in a pair of worn jeans and my slouchy UMASS sweatshirt. I pulled out my bag to boot my laptop and check emails when I found my phone and remembered that I’d turned it off. I knew there would be a barrage of missed calls and messages from Carter, and  I knew I would be hopeless to resist. I flipped on my phone and found 22 missed calls and 17 texts from him. I sat cross legged on my bed and began to flip through the messages. They'd started yesterday afternoon and gone on all through the night. They went from worried, to demanding, until finally the most recent texts from the wee hours of the morning were angry. At that moment I knew there was no way I would have the heart to listen to any of his voicemails, so I deleted them all. Maybe we both needed time to calm down. Maybe I was wrong to walk away without giving him a chance to explain, but I also knew that I got lost in Carter Morgan and I needed time to sort out what I wanted in my own head. I tossed my phone on the bed and opened my laptop in the hopes of getting work done.  

At lunchtime I took a break from working and glanced at my phone to realize that Carter hadn't called all morning. I guess he'd gotten the message, whatever message I had intentionally or unintentionally given by not answering my phone. Part of me had been hoping he'd call, because in the back of my mind that meant he cared for me as much as I did for him. I laid back on the bed and curled into the fetal position, trying to forget the fact that  I should have been boarding a plane to spend a weekend alone with Carter. 

Sunday morning I woke up from my third consecutive night of restless sleep. Carter hadn't called since he'd sent me those angry texts in the wee hours of Friday morning and I was more despondent than ever. Somehow, Carter had wormed his way into my life and my heart and I knew I wanted him to be there. But now that he'd had the few days away from me, maybe he'd figured out I wasn't worth it. Just as I thought my life would be easier without him, maybe he'd come to the same conclusion. My heart constricted at the thought. I stepped out of the shower and made the decision to call Carter that day to apologize for walking away from him, and to give him a chance to explain himself. It had become painfully obvious that there was a large gaping hole without Carter in my life. 

I dressed in jeans and threw a tank top and my favorite cashmere cardigan on. I took the time to blow dry my hair and even put on a dusting of makeup. I wasn't getting ready for Carter so much as I was trying to boost my own confidence to talk to him. I felt ashamed for being a coward and leaving him without an explanation on Thursday. I had done the passive-aggressive thing by turning and leaving without letting him explain and it hadn't resolved anything. I brushed lip gloss on my lips in front of the mirror, took a deep breath and then headed for my phone. I searched through the recent calls and texts one more time to make sure he hadn't called me in the time since Friday morning and then dialed his number.