Wherever the Dandelion Falls (67 page)

In the morning I woke to the dip of the mattress in front of me, followed shortly by soft lips on my forehead. I smiled before opening my eyes. Faye was above me, her hair curtaining us in our morning glory, her smile beaming like the sun.

"Morning," she whispered.

I rolled onto my back to get a better look at her. I tried to say
morning
back, but her beauty took the words out of my mouth, and my lips just moved instead. She smiled wider and bent to kiss my forehead again.

"I made breakfast," she said.

I was so content, I felt as though I could almost purr under her gaze.

"Come out in the living room when you're ready."

Arching against the mattress as I stretched out the stiffness in my back, I yawned and nodded.

"You're cute," she said, rising from the mattress. "I'm glad you stayed."

Settling back down into the warm shallow my body had made in the night, I exhaled, "Me too."

I heard her leave the room and my eyes fluttered back closed, eager to bask in the comfort and warmth of the bed I was in. But I pried my eyes open, not wanting to be rude and let the breakfast she'd made get cold.

I took a deep, fortifying breath and kicked the covers off my legs, gradually acclimating myself to the temperature of the room. Then I rolled out from under the duvet and sat on the edge of the bed, steadying myself as I wiped crust from my eyes. Once I was sure standing wouldn't make me light-headed, I stood, padding into the bathroom to find the pink toothbrush Faye had given me in the cup next to hers. I brushed my teeth, feeling the sour film being scraped from my teeth and tongue and replaced with tingling freshness. Then I washed my face and pulled my hair into a bun that was hopefully more chic than messy.

I was about to walk into the living room when I contemplated what I was wearing. The sweatpants and soft shirt she'd given me had been the most comfortable pajamas I could have imagined, but I was painfully aware that my nipples were glaring through the shirt. I didn't know if I should put on a bra or if that would be weird. I wished I'd glanced at what Faye was wearing before she'd gone back into the living room.

But then I thought about why I would put on a bra: namely, to keep some semblance of mystery about my body. And while Faye and I still hadn't had sex, it wasn't like I wanted my body to be a mystery to her. I wanted her to like it for what it was. I took a deep breath and held my arms in front of my chest as I walked into the living room.

"Morning," I said, smiling as I took in the plates of pancakes and fruit on the coffee table.

Faye smiled and patted the seat next to her on the couch, holding out a blanket.

I noticed she wasn't wearing a bra either, her breasts draped in a similar shirt, showing the chill of the room with the soft peaks that pressed out despite her slouch.

I eagerly sat next to her and drew the blanket around me but didn't tug it closed like I might have done if she hadn't been so relaxed about her casual appearance. It was an intimacy I wasn't quite familiar with anymore. Aside from seeing Justine as I darted into the bathroom some mornings, no one saw me like this.

Faye handed me my plate and asked if I wanted coffee before drawing the other end of the blanket over her lap, sitting cross-legged beside me as she placed her plate in the bowl of the blanket draped over her. She seemed so relaxed.

"We don't see each other often in daylight, do we?" I said, smiling as I cut into the steaming stack balanced on my lap.

Faye shook her head, grinning. "I was a little worried you were a vampire at first, but then I remembered we met at that coffee shop when it was light out, so you were probably safe."

I chuckled and took a bite, the warm buttermilk flavor eliciting a hum as I started chewing. "'S'good," I mumbled through my bite.

I thought of other times we'd spent time together during the day and remembered our trip to Hearst Castle. As I did, realized I owed her a date to somewhere that was special to me. In all my panic about not having sex and figuring out how to date a girl as an adult, I'd forgotten that promise. I knew exactly where I wanted to take her.

But she had a conference to go to, so it would have to wait for another weekend.

"What time do you leave?" I asked as soon as I swallowed.

"Eight."

I looked at my watch. It was already nine thirty. "P.M.?" I asked.

"Nope," Faye said.

Confused, I looked at Faye blankly. "Tomorrow?"

"Today," Faye said, forking another bite. "I'm not going."

"What? Why?" I asked, startled.

Faye set her fork down on her plate and said, "Because I want to spend the day with you."

I was dumbfounded. I would never have expected Faye to skip work for me.

"But what about your friends?" I said, still aghast.

Faye shrugged. "I'll see them another time."

Flattered and uncomfortable at the same time, I said, "Won't you get in trouble for skipping it?"

Faye shook her head. "I came down with serious stomach virus this morning, didn't you know?"

I looked at her with concern, not realizing for a moment that she was relaying the lie she'd told her boss.

Then, overwhelmed by her sweetness, I took a bite of pancake and said, "You better get back in bed, then, lady."

Faye bit her lip and smiled back and I could practically feel how hard she was straining not to make a sexual joke out of the perfect setup I'd accidentally given her.

"How about we find something fun to do outside? It's a beautiful day."

Relieved she'd sidestepped yet another non-conversation about how we weren't having sex yet, I gave a fervent nod and ignored the fact that the fog was thick as pea soup out the window. In San Francisco, if it wasn't raining, it was a beautiful day.

And then the weather and my sense of obligation to make her feel special paired together, and I had a great idea.

"How about we go to the Headlands?" I said. "That's my special place."

She frowned, not knowing what I meant.

So I clarified. "You know how Hearst Castle was your special place? The Headlands is mine. You can hike and go to the beach and look out at the bridge, and if it's foggy like today, you can see the fractal patterns of the fog as it swirls around. I've never seen anything like it."

Faye grinned. "That sounds perfect."

We finished our breakfast and chatted quietly about books and movies and the latest article Faye had written. I hadn't read it, but I preferred to hear it from her anyway. It was one thing to read her pieces with their journalistic integrity, but it was another to get the full story from her, complete with opinion.

When we were done, Faye asked if I needed to shower. I didn't feel too gross, so I shook my head, saying I'd want to shower after our outing anyway. Faye rinsed the dishes while I put on clothes, then I waited in the living room while she got dressed. Then she came out, swinging her keys around her finger with a playful sense of adventure.

Once we were on the road, Faye slipped her hand over the console and held my hand the whole way over the bridge and up into the winding hills of the Headlands. She only let go to turn off the engine and close her door. Then we walked out to the overlook of the bridge, where the swirling fog loomed larger and more lively than its blanket-like appearance from the city streets would have us believe. Faye walked me out to the edge of the concrete slab that had once served as a military lookout. She sat down and pulled me into her side to ward off the chill, leaning her head onto my shoulder. She stared at the fog as it curled and twisted through the air, murmuring that it was beautiful.

Then when the chill got to be too much, she stood and said. "We should make a day of it," she said. "Lunch in Sausalito, a trip to the Redwoods, maybe Stinson Beach…"

I lifted her hand to my lips and kissed an agreement into her soft skin.

Half an hour later we were seated on the patio at a seafood restaurant on a dock in Sausalito. It always surprised me how the microclimates worked; we could practically see Faye's apartment across the water, hazy under a chilly blanket of fog. Yet where we were sitting, it was sunny and bright enough to need sunglasses.

My eyes must have betrayed my anxiety when I saw the prices on the menu; they weren't extravagant, but they were more than an unemployed girl should spend on a meal. Faye leaned forward and said quietly, "Will you let me buy you lunch?"

Unsure, I bit my lip. I'd made such a big deal yesterday about not wanting her to take care of me with her money. But the way she asked didn't seem like she was trying to buy anything from me or belittle my unemployment. She genuinely wanted to buy me lunch. I decided to try to be okay with that. Faye liked giving simply because it made her feel good.

"Will you let me leave the tip?" I asked.

"Only if you're generous," she said, winking.

I gave her a nervous smile and nodded. "Okay."

We studied the menus for a minute longer and then set them down at the same time.

She said, "We should make a game of it. Starting tomorrow."

Confused, I tilted my head.

"Let's see who can come up with the cheapest date."

Half adoring and half embarrassed, I leaned forward and tucked my hair behind my ear. "You don't have to do that," I said.

"Dating is expensive, and it could be fun," she argued. "It would make it a challenge. I can't let my game get sloppy just because I'm not playing the field anymore."

Her facade of cockiness made me giggle. "What's the challenge?"

"To see who can plan the best date on the tiniest budget."

I decided to get playful with her. Even if it was a little embarrassing, she was trying to be sweet about my unemployment. "If we'd just gone to the Headlands and then gone home it would have been zero dollars, and I planned that, so I win."

Faye shook her head. "Bridge toll on the way back."

"Fine, but I doubt you'll be able to come up with a date that's less than six dollars."

"Wanna bet?"

Seeing the competitive streak I both loved and dreaded in her glow with eagerness, I backed down. "No," I said.

Faye smirked and said, "Let's raise the stakes."

"How?"

"Every date has to have a food feature and an entertainment feature."

Not knowing what on earth I'd come up with but certain Faye would never cease to surprise me, I extended my hand across the table to hers. "Deal."

Rather than shaking my hand on our challenge, she slid her fingers between mine and gave me a gentle squeeze. Then, dropping all semblance of bravado, she said, "I'm positive you'll find another job soon. Maybe not in your field, but that could be a good thing. This is a city of entrepreneurs and ideas. You'll find your niche."

I took a breath and sighed. I wanted to believe her, though my better reasoning told me not to. Somehow, her optimism and faith in me did give me hope.

For the rest of the afternoon, she held my hand tighter than usual and kissed me between what felt like every step and bite and traffic stop. We tried to go to the Redwoods but realized halfway there that the tourist traffic on the weekend would be too overwhelming to make it worth our while. So we drove a few miles further out in the peninsula to Stinson Beach. There, our energy seemed to spark, and I needed to kiss her in the bright afternoon sun and shoreline breeze. I leaned toward her, lips puckered, and she puckered back for a second before twisting her head the other way and laughing with her eyes.

"Hey, I want my kiss," I pouted, leaning across her body to try to capture her lips.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah," I said, trying to stop her from walking.

Without a word, she took off running, looking back at me with a baiting smirk as she headed for the water, yelling, "Then come get it!"

I followed her, glad we had left our shoes in the dunes, and was soon being splashed from shins to face with chilly saltwater. I gaped at her, laughing, and almost tackled her into the soaked sand to be pummeled by the tide. But she dodged my lunge and made it all the way back up the beach to the dunes before I caught her. She grabbed me by the arms and spun me around before wrestling me down, holding me to the ground with her straddle, pressing her lips hard against mine, shaking with laughter, gasping with joy.

We made out in the sand for a long time. I felt her body flush against mine, warm and peppered with coarse sand and droplets of water. Her hip bones dinted into me, pressing too hard at times, but the softness of her belly and her breasts was distraction enough. I ran my hands over her back, feeling as though I couldn't touch enough of her through her shirt. I wanted to hold all of her.

The more we kissed, the more the sun soaked into our limbs, the more rapturous our embrace and frustrating the confines of our clothes, the more I realized: since I'd woken up alone in the hotel room after sleeping with Vance, I'd had this funny idea that sex was something that people took from me. It was a prize to be won or stolen by the most cunning and crafty people. But Faye wasn't out to take anything from me. Not at all.