Where the Deer and the Antelope Play (Code of the West) (15 page)

Tap studied the west as the sun set on the continental d
ivide. Then he gazed back at the column of smoke drifting up from the ranch house.

“Just an hour, Brownie. We’ll follow him for an hour more. There’s a pretty yellow-haired girl at a party down there, and I don’t aim to make her wait up half the night.”

For the first time in two days he could hear himself talk, just a little, in his right ear.

The first miles of the trail were easy to follow. But when Tap hit the frozen creek, it was not obvious whether the rider had turned north or south. Whichever direction, he seemed to have ridden his horse on top of the ice. Tap followed the sli
ppery creek south for a while, but the shadows of twilight and absence of signs on the icy surface caused him to rein up and turn back toward the ranch.

I can check out Little Bob when I take Pepper back to McCu
rleys’ . . . tomorrow. But it’s got me wonderin’. A man who’s a pretty fair shot with a big bore, picks up his brass, covers his track by riding down the frozen creek bed. That doesn’t really sound like a tenderfoot from Connecticut.

Pepper grabbed his arm the minute he walked through the front door. After giving them all a description of the sniper’s lair he had discovered in the rocks, Tap scooted up to the table and filled himself with boiled potatoes, beef chops, gravy, sourdough biscuits, and strawberry preserves.

With Pepper still on his arm, he sat at the table sipping coffee and listening as Stack and Danni Mae entertained with song after song. The music and the words competed for his attention. He could understand very little.

“I wish I could hear them a little better,” he called out to Pepper. “Must be funny. Everyone’s laughing.”

“Or bawdy. Danni Mae mainly knows saloon tunes.”

“What?”

“Forget it. Come on, cowboy, let’s go for a walk.”

“Go for a talk?”

“Yeah, that’ll do.”

She led him toward the front door.

“Where do you two think you’re goin’?” Selena called out.

“To the barn—to check on the horses,” Pe
pper replied. “And the first one who comes out the door after us, I will personally horsewhip.”

Pepper laid her head on Tap’s shoulder and held on to his canvas coat sleeve. Their feet crunched in the crusted snow. Tap lit a lantern in the barn and another in the tack room. Then he began to build a fire in the little black potbellied stove.

She dragged a short, heavy bench made from a split log close to the stove and sat down on one end. With the fire blazing, Tap pulled a blanket out of his bedroll and stacked it on her lap.

“It gets cold out here even with a fire.”

“I’m fine. The cool air feels good. The hotel’s been so hot lately, I’ve been miserable.” Pepper tried not to shout.

“Yeah. Me too. It seems like I’ve been cold ever since we came back from Denver.”

“No,” she corrected. “I said I was warm.”

He tilted his head sideways. “Yeah, but no matter how long the winter, spring is comin’.”

“Never mind. You look tired.”

“Yeah. It’s like every bone in my body is wantin’ some rest.”

She patted the folded blanket in her lap. “Why don’t you take a nap?”

“A nap?” he called out.

Pepper patted the blanket again.

Tap hung his hat on a peg near the door and stretched out on the narrow bench. His bent legs and boots plunked on the floor of the tack room. He laid his head on the blanket and gazed up at her green eyes.

“Is the day really goin’ to come when it’s this way every evenin’?”

“Soon.” She brushed her fingers through his dark hair.

“I’d like to go to sleep and wake up on our wedding day. Wouldn’t it be great if it were tomorrow?”

“No,” she protested. “I don’t have your shirt finished.”

“My what?”

“Shirt. Your shirt. Remember? I promised to make one for you.”

“No ruffles.”

He blinked his eyes shut and lay motionless. His hands were folded across his stomach.

“Did I tell you the dress turned out terrific? Mrs. Franklin did a wonderful job. But you really need an extra-fancy shirt. I’m not sure why you don’t like ruffles. They will make you look stunningly handsome.”

One eye opened and seemed to glisten. “You go right ahead and talk, darlin’. .
 . . I’m just restin’ my eyelids.”

He scrunched his head back down into the blanket and closed his eye.

I’ve been talking, Mr. Tap Andrews, but I don’t think you’re hearing anything.

She rubbed the leathery wrinkles around his eyes. His muscles began to relax. Pepper continued to brush her hand across his face and hair.

Now is the time, Lord. I have to do it now.

“The Franklin baby is a little cutie, Tap. She’s got a shock of dark hair just like her mother’s. I wonder if our children will have blonde hair?”

She studied his face but didn’t see any response.

“Look, Tap .
 . . there’s something that’s been eating at me for over a month. You know, I started to tell you on our way back from Denver . . . but it’s just not easy to talk about. I don’t want you to hate me, but I’ve got to talk about this before the wedding. I promised the Lord I’d get this out while you still had a chance to change your mind.”

She stared back at him and continued to rub her hand through his hair.

Are you going to sleep, Tap Andrews?

“You’d better pay attention because I’m sure not g
oing to get the nerve to talk about this again. I’ve been thinking about babies lately. I guess because of Rebecca Marie . . . that’s the Franklin baby. Isn’t that a nice name? We’ve never, ever talked about baby names. I suppose most every woman thinks about babies when she’s planning her wedding.

“I want you to know that I really do like children. But I’m scared to death to try to raise some myself. I guess we’ll learn together, won’t we?”

Again she studied the peaceful face.

“As I was sayin’, I like children. But I once had a doctor tell me that maybe I can’t have any. And it’s only right that you should know that.”

She pulled a handkerchief from her dress sleeve and dabbed at the corner of her eyes. Tap continued to lie motionless.

“I never, ever had anything so hard to say in my life. The reason I might not be able to have children is b
ecause I once had a miscarriage. I lost a baby, Tap.”

She stopped and took a deep breath.

“About four years ago. In Denver. That’s why I didn’t want to go back there. That’s how I got involved with Dillard the first time. No, he wasn’t the father. I, eh, don’t know who the father was.”

The tears streamed down her cheeks.

“Don’t say anything until I finish.” She put her fingers on his silent, motionless lips. “I told you there were some horrible things in my past that I was ashamed to mention. It doesn’t get any worse than this. I was sick. I didn’t take care of myself. And I was broke. When I lost the baby, it was Dillard who paid the doctor’s bills.

“Hardly a night goes by that I don’t have nightmares about it. I’ll live with those mistakes all my life. God’s forgiven me, He really has. But I’ve got to live with the consequences. I guess now you have to live with them, too. If you’re willing, that is.”

She was afraid to glance down at him.

“Just think about it. We can talk some more later. Please don’t leave me, Tap. Your coming into my life has been just about the only nice thing that’s ever happened to me. There are a lot of women in this world. Lots of them are more beaut
iful than me. Most of them are more virtuous than me, too. But there isn’t a one of them that could love you more than I do.”

She continued to brush his hair and stare at the stove. “Just you, honey, you’re all I want in life. My Tap. And a peaceful house with some laughing children. I don’t want a big house on a hill or a place in Denver or Paris fashions. I just want the time and the place to heal from my mistakes.”

She took out the handkerchief again and blew her nose. The room's heat felt oppressive. Tap didn’t move, but his face had a relaxed smile. She stared at his chiseled features.

“What did you look like when you were a little boy? It’s hard to imagine. You were chasing around the streams of the gol
dfields of California while I ran down shady lanes of confederate Georgia. I wonder if we would have liked each other back then?”

She waited, but he didn’t reply.

“Look, I’m changin’ the subject—in case you hadn’t noticed. Are you mad at me?”

Again silence.

“Tap, I think I just heard ten armed men ride up to the ranch. They’re shootin’ at the house.”

He didn’t even twitch.

Lord, it’s not my fault if he has hearing problems and fell asleep. I told him everything, just like I promised.

An hour later, she spoke again.

“Tap, the fire’s going out. You want me to stick in some more wood?” She poked her finger deep in the hardened muscles of his stomach. “Tap?”

He reared up, jumped to his feet, reached for his revolver.

“Did I fall asleep? Am I glad to see you.” He wiped the  sweat off his forehead and looked around. “I guess I was having a bad dream. Is it cold in here?”

“A little.”

“Maybe I’ll toss on a few more sticks.”

“Certainly. Are you hearing better? I’m not yelling now.”

“I think I can. It must have been that nap.”

“What were you dreaming about?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Did you dream about me?”

“Yeah, but it was all my fault.”

“What was?”

“The ruined wedding. We had to call off the wedding.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“That bad?” she asked.

“Yep. Sure makes a man feel good to wake up and know it never really happened.”

“Did I say or do something?” she prodded.

“You sure did.”

“Wh-what?”

“You dumped me because I forgot to come to the wedding.”

“Frightfully rude of me.”

“Oh, there’s more.”

“What?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

He stared at her green eyes for a moment and then broke into a smile. “Let’s don’t get so serious about a dream.”

Pepper took a deep breath and sighed. She stood up and walked over to him. Slipping her arms around his waist, she leaned her head on his chest. “I’m glad your hearing is better.”

“Oh, there’s still a little ringing in that ear, but I can hear you fine. I never want to go through that again. I kept on b
eing afraid I would miss something important that someone was sayin’. Did I miss anything important?”

“Probably not.” Pepper hugged him close.

“All right, despite the threat of being horsewhipped, I was sent out here to check on you two,” Stack’s deep voice bellowed from the doorway.

“Hey, don’t yell, partner. I can hear better,” Tap a
nnounced.

“Just exactly what kind of treatment did the doctor give you?” Stack inquired.

“No, it wasn’t—,” she began to protest.

“Come on, you two. There’s a little party, and it’s getting kind of slow over there. Danni Mae and Wiley’s been whi
sperin’ in the corner, Rocky fell asleep in the rocking chair, and me and Paula and Selena’s been playin’ three-handed monte. If it gets much slower, we won’t invite you two to come out to the ranch and see us again.”

For the rest of the evening, Selena managed a running ba
nter of jokes and innuendos, but she kept her distance from Tap as long as Pepper stayed at his side. The big card game at the table had Stack winning most of the pinto beans, and even Rocky seemed to be more agreeable by the end of the evening.

When Tap, Wiley, and Stack retired to the tack room in the barn, Pepper and Danni Mae decided to camp out by the fire in the front room. Paula and Selena headed to the be
droom, and Rocky climbed up the ladder to the attic.

Tap’s ears crackled all night long. Several times he thought he heard something out in the barn. Each time he got up and wandered out into the dark stalls only to decide it was nothing and finally crawl back into his bedroll. By da
ylight he was cold, tired, and sore. But his right ear had drained some during the night, and he was able to hear much better.

While waiting for the women to stir around, Tap brought out Bob McCurley’s horse and hitched it to the wagon. Then he drove the rig to the front of the house. Wiley fed the other horses and sauntered out to Tap, puffing steam from his mouth into the cloudy but frigid Colorado morning.

“You want me to ride along?”

“What for?”

“In case you run into that big-bore rifle again.”

“I think he took a couple of pot shots and hightailed it to safety. I don’t expect to see him until I get to the parlor at McCurleys’.”