Where Love Has Gone (37 page)

“Since we’re playing truth or consequences,” I said as lightly as I could, “would you mind telling me a few things?”

A look of caution came into her eyes. “Like what, Daddy?” “Exactly whose boyfriend was Riccio? Yours or your mother’s?” She hesitated. “Mother’s.”

“But you—” It was my turn to hesitate.

She met my gaze candidly. “Did they tell you we were making out?” I nodded.

She looked down at her Coke. “That’s right, Daddy. We were.”

“Why, Dani?” I asked. “Why him in particular? Why not anyone else?’

“You know Mother. She likes to be the wheel in everything. Just this once I wanted to show her she wasn’t.”

“Did you?” I asked. “Is that why you killed him?”

Her eyes fell away from mine. “I didn’t mean to,” she said in a low voice. “It was an accident.” “Were you jealous of your mother, Dani? Is that why?”

She shook her head. “I don’t want to talk about it,” she said stubbornly. “I told them everything at the police station before they brought me here.”

“Unless you tell them the truth, Dani,” I said, “they may not let you live at Grandmother’s.”

She still didn’t look at me. “They can’t keep me forever. When I’m eighteen they’ll have to let me out. I know that much.”

“Three-and-a-half years is a long time out of anyone’s life to stay locked up.”

“What do you care?” She looked at me defiantly. “Next Tuesday when this is over, you’ll go home and you’ll probably never come to see me again. Just like before.”

“But I do care, Dani. That’s why I’m here now. I told you why I couldn’t come before.”

Her voice was sullen. “That’s a lot of crap! You’d have come if you had cared enough!” She looked down at the Coke bottle again. I wondered what she saw in the brown liquid through the green glass that was so absorbing.

“It’s easy for you to come back and say things like that,” she said in a low voice. “It’s always easy to say the right things. But it’s not so easy to do them.”

“I know that, Dani. I’m the first one to admit that I’ve made mistakes.”

“All right, Daddy.” She looked up and suddenly she wasn’t a little girl any longer. She was a young woman. “So we’ve all made mistakes. Let’s drop it. I said I didn’t want to talk about it anymore. It’s my life and there’s nothing you can say that will change anything for me. It’s too late now. You’ve been away too long.”

She was wrong and she was right. Like there’s nothing ever completely black or white. “Was there ever anyone else? Other boys, I mean?”

She shook her head. “No.”

“You’re not lying to me, are you, Dani?”

Her eyes looked right into mine. “No, Daddy. I’m not lying. I couldn’t do it with anyone else. I might have started because I wanted to show Mother, but it wound up something else.”

“How did it wind up?”

Her eyes were clear and soft and there was a sadness in them. “I loved him, Daddy,” she said quietly. “And he loved me. We were going to run away and get married. Just as soon as I was old enough.”

The sun was finally beginning to break up the fog. I walked away from the window restlessly. I picked up the paper and turned to the amusement page. I thought of going to a movie but I’d seen almost every picture in town. I turned on the television. Ten minutes later I switched it off. I was the in-between generation for the daytime offerings. One generation too old, one generation too young.

Then the telephone rang and I jumped to answer it. Maybe Elizabeth had got over her mad. “Colonel Carey?”

“Yes.”

“This is Lorenzo Stradella. Remember those two letters we sent Anna to get?” “What about them?”

“Well, I still have them,” he said.

“What are you calling me for? You know who bought them.”

“That’s right. But she’s already paid. I figure you ought to be good for these two.” “Not interested,” I said. “Take them to Miss Hayden.”

“Wait a minute! Don’t hang up.” “I’m waiting.”

“I can’t take them to her. I’ll give you a good deal.”

Suddenly I understood. Of course he couldn’t take them to Nora. Nora would tell Coriano. And Coriano didn’t like his boys holding out on him. I tried it out.

“Okay, but I’m not dealing with any small fry. Tell Coriano to get in touch with me. That way maybe I’ll be sure no more of them turn up later.”

I had guessed right.

“No Coriano. This deal is between you and me.” “Coriano won’t like that.”

“I’ll make it so cheap he won’t have to know.” “How cheap is that?” I asked.

“Five Cs.”

“Goodbye, Charley,” I said and hung up. I had just time to light a cigarette before he called back. This time his voice was a little softer. “What do you call cheap?”

“Fifty bucks.” “That
is
cheap.”

“You’re talking to a real cheap guy. I’m from the poor side of the family.” “I’ll make it easy on you. Two-fifty.”

“One hundred is as high as I’ll go.”

He didn’t say anything for a moment and I figured he was thinking. “It’s found money,” I said.

“You’re on.”

“Bring them on over.”

“Not so fast. You’re the square type. You might have the cops there.” “Don’t be a jerk.”

“You be in your room eleven o’clock tonight. I’ll send someone over with them.” “Okay,” I said.

“Remember. No tricks. Hand over the dough, you’ll get the letters.”

The telephone went dead and I put it down. I went over to the table and wrote a check for a hundred dollars. Then I went downstairs and cashed it. I kept my fingers crossed all during the time the cashier was counting out the money. I only hoped there was enough dough in the bank to cover it.

16

__________________________________________

When I got back to my room the message light was blinking on and off. Nora had phoned and wanted me to call her back. I dialed the number.

“This is Mr. Carey, Charles,” I said. “Is Miss Hayden there?” “Just a moment, sir. I’ll put her on.”

I heard a click and then her voice. “Luke?” “Yes,” I said. “What did you want?”

“I want to talk to you. Can you come for dinner?” “I don’t think so. It wouldn’t feel right.”

“Don’t be old-fashioned. I won’t eat you. I want to talk to you about Dani.” “What about her?”

“We’ll talk at dinner.”

I hesitated a moment. A good meal wouldn’t do me any harm. I’d about had it with the knockwurst and beans. “What time?”

“Come early enough for a drink. About seven o’clock?”

“See you then,” I said and put down the telephone wondering what in hell brought that on all of a sudden.

When I rang the bell at seven Charles opened the door almost immediately. “Good evening, Colonel.”

“Good evening, Charles.”

It was almost as if I’d never been away. “Madam is in the library. You know the way,” he said with a faint smile.

“I know the way,” I answered wryly.

I knocked at the library door and went in. Nora rose from the big couch facing the desk. Dr. Weidman was a fraction of a second behind her. She came toward me, her hand outstretched. “Luke. I’m so glad you could come.”

I knew that tone of voice. It was warm and friendly as if there’d never been any real difference between us. The
company
voice she had always used whenever she had an audience.

Still holding my hand she turned toward the doctor. “You remember Dr. Weidman? He was at Mother’s.”

How could I forget? Especially after what Dani had said. What was I supposed to do, give the bride away?

“How are you, Doctor?” I would have held out my hand only for some reason or other Nora still held on to it.

He bowed slightly. “Good to see you again, Colonel.”

Then Nora let go of my hand. “There’s a fresh bottle of bourbon on the bar. Bourbon is still your drink, isn’t it?”

I nodded. She’d made her point. I walked over to the bar. “Can I fix something for you?” I asked automatically. It was as if I still lived there. I used to ask that whenever we had drinks in the library.

“No, thanks. The doctor and I are having martinis.”

I turned to look at them. That was one of the tipoffs that Nora was interested in the doctor. She was a Scotch drinker basically, but there were two things she picked up the moment she found a new man—his brand of cigarettes and his drink.

We all sipped. It wasn’t until I sat down that I realized I’d gone behind the desk to my old chair. I took another sip of my drink and put it down on the desk. “Nothing’s been changed,” I said, looking around the room.

“There was no reason to change it, Luke,” Nora said quickly. “This was always our room.”

I wondered why she’d said that. Nora had no sentimentality about things like that. “It seems to me I’d have changed it around,” I said. “If only to avoid annoying memories.”

She smiled. “I had nothing to avoid.”

Dr. Weidman finished his drink and got to his feet. “Well, I really must be going, Nora.” “Are you sure you can’t stay for dinner, Doctor?”

He shook his head regretfully. “I’m due back in my office,” he said. “I have an eight-o’clock appointment.”

Nora put down her drink and got up. “I’ll see you to the door.”

Weidman turned to me. This time we shook hands. “Nice seeing you again, Colonel.” “Goodbye, Doctor.”

I watched them walk out of the room and then I sat down behind the desk again. Idly I opened one of the drawers. There was an old blueprint there. I took it out and looked at it. It was for the pilot house of my first project.

So many years ago and yet like yesterday. I studied the plans. It was still a good house. There were only a few things I’d change if I were building it today.

Nora stood in the doorway watching me. “You see, nothing has been changed, Luke. I didn’t even empty the desk.”

“So I see.” I put the plans back and closed the drawer. “Exactly why did you ask me to dinner?” She smiled and closed the door behind her. “That can wait until after dinner. You’re always

much more reasonable on a full stomach.”

She came over and stood in front of the desk, looking down at me. “I always said that rooms are for people. Somehow this one always seemed empty to me without you in it.”

“Come off it, Nora.” I smiled to take the sting out of my words. “The audience is gone. You’re not sentimental about silly things like that.”

She laughed suddenly. “We have no illusions left, have we, Luke?” I shook my head. “I guess not.”

She walked over to her drink and picked it up. She looked at it for a few moments, then suddenly set it down with a thud. “Be a good sport, Luke. Fix me a Scotch and soda. I don’t see how anyone can drink these damn martinis. They smell like cheap perfume.”

I got up and fixed her a drink, then walked it to the couch. She took a sip from it and nodded. “That’s much better.”

I walked back and picked up my drink. I leaned back against the desk and raised my glass to her.

She raised hers. We both drank.

“Dr. Weidman has such an interesting face. Don’t you think so, Luke?” I gestured with my hands.

“Do you know what his first name is?” “No.”

“Isidore. Can you imagine that? Isidore. In this day and age. You’d think he’d change a name like that.”

“Maybe he likes it.”

“I don’t think so,” she said thoughtfully. “But he’s too proud to admit it. That’s one thing I’ve noticed about these Jewish doctors. They’re very proud.”

“They’ve got every reason to be.”

“They wear their religion like a cloak. And you know another thing I’ve noticed about them?” “What?”

“They’ve all got such sad eyes,” she said. “Like the paintings of Christ.”

The door opened and Charles came into the library. “Dinner is served, madam.”

The dinner was too much. It began with cracked crab, served on lettuce leaves spread over shaved ice, and with it that wonderful tangy mustard sauce that only Charles seemed able to conjure up. After that, cioppino, a kind of San Francisco bouillabaisse which is more a fish stew than a soup, with everything in it that the Pacific has to offer. Then roast beef, a great thick slab with the rib still attached, medium rare with the blood running out on the plate. And finally, great halves of yellow cling peaches, over rich chocolate ice cream, just the way I’d always liked them. I looked up at Charles as he filled my coffee cup.

He smiled. He remembered how much I liked canned peaches. At first he’d been horrified by my

taste and had ordered giant fresh peaches especially for me. But after awhile he gave in and bought the cans. He had also remembered that I liked a large coffee cup after dinner, not a demitasse.

“That was a great dinner, Nora,” I said. She smiled. “I’m glad to liked it, Luke.”

I liked it all right. I’d eaten like a horse but she’d merely picked at her food in her usual manner.

“I think I know you well enough that you won’t mind if I go into the kitchen and tell Cookie how great it was.”

Nora rose from the table. “You go right ahead. We’ll have more coffee and brandy in the studio when you come out.”

I went into the kitchen. Cookie was there, her face red and steaming from the stove, as I always remembered it. Only her hair was gray now, to remind me of the passing of time.

“Colonel Carey!” she exclaimed in a pleased voice.

“Cookie! I couldn’t leave without telling you what a wonderful meal that was.”

“I loved preparing it for you, Colonel. You was always a good eater.” Then her face clouded over. “There was only one thing missing. I wish Miss Dani had been here too.”

“Maybe she’ll be home soon,” I said gently. “Do you really think so, Colonel?”

“I hope so, Cookie.”

“I hope so too. If only we’d been home that day maybe it would never have happened.” I’d started to turn away but I turned back to her. “Weren’t you home that day?”

“No, sir. Thursday is our day off. But since Miss Hayden was in Los Angeles and would not be home until late Friday evening, Mr. Riccio had also given us Friday.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“I went to Oakland to visit my sister and didn’t get back until late. Until it was all over.” I looked at Charles. “And you?”

“I was back at six o’clock,” he said. “Miss Hayden was already home.” “What about Violet?”