Where Have All the Cowboys Gone? (24 page)

When her sobs subsided, he picked her up and took her to bed. She kept her face buried against his chest as he wrestled with her dressing gown and underclothes. When she was naked, he settled her against the pillows and stripped off his own clothes. He slid his arm beneath her shoulders and eased her against his chest.

She sniffed and burrowed closer into his warmth. Grayson stared up at the frilly bed curtains. Damn, what could he say to her? He doubted she’d ever told anyone apart from Ella about what had happened to her mother.

It sure explained her reluctance to get involved with him. From her perspective, relationships caused pain to the people she loved. And marriage? Christ, that must seem like the ultimate trap. He smoothed her hair away from her flushed cheek. She looked up at him, her hazel eyes wary and defeated. A wave of tenderness engulfed him.

‘Do you want to settle with your father once and for all?’

Lauren nodded.

‘Will you let me help you?’

Her beautiful eyes brimmed with tears again. ‘I don’t want you to get hurt.’

He rolled her over onto her back and smiled. ‘Honey, I’m a grown man. I can take care of myself. All we have to do is stick together. He can’t defeat us if we do that.’

He kissed her mouth, tasted the salt of her tears. ‘You’re a strong woman, Lauren Redstone. You’ve fought hard to live a decent, successful life despite your father. Do you want to give that up?’

Lauren stopped crying. ‘No, I don’t. I want him to understand that there are other more important things in my life now.’

She hadn’t mentioned him, but Grayson felt a surge of hope. She wiped her hand across her reddened nose.

‘After he hurt Mom, I tried to do everything he said. I was so scared he’d harm her again. It’s taken me years to find the courage to leave my job at his company and set up on my own. He doesn’t like it, but so far I’ve managed to keep things going without running back home to him.’

Grayson wondered anew at the courage it had taken her to live out her fantasies with him in Las Vegas. Perhaps her decision to marry him had really been a cry for help or an unconscious decision to do something that put her beyond her father’s reach. If that was the case, she’d chosen the right man. He would do anything to prevent her from getting hurt.

Grayson kissed her forehead. Was it a good time to remind Lauren that they were of age and legally married and that her father couldn’t do anything about it? He studied her miserable, swollen face and decided not to push his luck. In her volatile state she might take his words the wrong way. The last thing she needed was to feel he was becoming possessive or staking some kind of claim over her.

‘We’ll get through this,’ Grayson said. ‘If you’re worried about your mother, we can help her too. I have some connections that might be able to prevent your father from harming either of you ever again.’

Lauren gave an odd sigh and closed her eyes. Grayson tried to relax as her body slipped into slumber. When she’d settled completely he wanted to take a shower and make some phone calls. He needed help. Unfortunately that kind of help didn’t come cheap. Dammit, he might just have to contact his father.

Grayson winced as the alarm clock went off right by his left ear. It was Sunday. Why had Lauren put the blasted thing on? He groaned as he felt her stir beside him. While she disappeared into the bathroom, Grayson picked up the pink clock and studied the illuminated dial.

He wasn’t sure why he felt so tired. It was three hours later than he normally got up, but then he wasn’t used to staying up all night any more. He used to find the pace of the city exhilarating; now it made him think of home.

Dammit, when had he got so boring? Lauren thought he was crazy wanting to live out in the middle of nowhere all year round. Perhaps it was time for him to make a compromise as well. He was only 35. If Lauren could adapt to Oregon, it was only fair that he should resign himself to spending more time in the city.

His thoughts turned to his conversation with his father. It hadn’t been easy, asking his father to use his fame to help smooth his path with Lauren’s dad. He’d also agreed to provide Grayson with information about Paul Redstone’s more shady business activities in case being nice didn’t work.

A fist knotted low in his gut. He was leaving today and, despite his best efforts, he still wasn’t sure whether he’d convinced Lauren to stay married to him.

With all the problems with her father, he’d got distracted from his main aim to stop her filing for divorce. Didn’t she understand that if she lived at the ranch, she could pick and choose who came to visit and who she visited in return?

He grinned as he pictured Ella strutting her stuff in Springtown’s only sports bar. The clientele would never know what hit them.

‘What’s so funny, Grayson?’

Lauren leant over him. She smelt of roses and looked drained but her smile was full of tenderness.

‘You are.’ He grabbed her elbows and toppled her over onto the bed. She squeaked when he slid his hands down from her waist and cupped her butt. ‘I’m beginning to think you’ve lost interest in me as a stud.’

It was morning. He was a man. He was alive. He dragged the covers out from between them and glanced down at his erection. ‘This guy’s going to get a complex soon if you don’t give him some attention.’

Lauren straddled him and slid down over his shaft. She closed her eyes as he circled his hips. He slid his fingers from her waist to her pussy and stroked in time to her languid movements. Slow and steady, like her soft even breaths, like gentling a young horse. He didn’t want to rush her or destroy the sweetness of making love in the soft morning light.

With an urge to taste more of her, Gray planted his feet on the bed and pushed himself up into a sitting position bringing Lauren with him. His face disappeared into the softness of her breasts and he reached eagerly for her nipples. He felt her tense and began to move faster, compelled by her sheath squeezing his cock like a fist.

He brought his mouth up to cover hers as she came and moaned her pleasure into his kiss. He followed her lead and allowed himself to go over with her. She fell forwards, her face resting on the curve of his shoulder, her hair tickling his chest. Reluctant to move, he smoothed his hands over the graceful curve of her spine. He could stay that way forever.

Slowly, Lauren lifted her head and stared at him. He frowned when he realised there were tears in her eyes. Was she crying for him or in fear of her father? His sense of well-being fizzled and died.

She gave him a weak smile and moved off him. ‘I’ll go and shower if that’s OK. You can go after me.’

Grayson didn’t reply. He rolled onto his front and buried his face in the pillows. Lauren’s elusive scent invaded his senses. He’d know her blindfold. He glanced at the bathroom door, which was firmly shut. She’d offered him no invitation to share her shower. Maybe it was just too small but somehow he didn’t think so.

Lauren inhaled the mixture of scents from the pot of aromatic herbs Grayson had bought her at the Ferry Building farmers’ market. They’d stopped for coffee at one of the shops overlooking the bay. Grayson sat opposite her, the tip of his cowboy boot touched her shoe. His checked blue shirt was open at the neck. She wanted to kiss the soft place where his collarbone met his shoulder.

She put down the clay pot and picked up her tea. They had a couple of hours before they needed to get ready for her mother’s birthday lunch. After that, Grayson would have to make his way straight to the airport. Lauren let out a sigh.

‘Penny for your thoughts?’ Grayson asked, his smile as guarded as her own.

‘I was just thinking about you leaving. What time is your flight?’

‘About seven. But it’s no big deal. If I miss it there are others.’

‘Why should you miss it?’ Lauren held his gaze over the rim of her cup. ‘As long as we make sure you leave the party early enough, you’ll be fine.’

Grayson put his coffee down with a thump. ‘If it’s too much of a hassle for you I can always catch a cab. Don’t worry about spoiling your day.’

Lauren concentrated on mopping up the spilt coffee before it reached her side of the small table. ‘What’s the matter with you? You’ve been in a foul mood since we got here.’

He gave her one of the long measuring glances she hated. ‘In case you haven’t noticed, I have to go back to Oregon tonight. We had a deal about discussing the ongoing nature of our relationship and you don’t seem to give a damn about it.’

‘Of course I do! But how can I worry about that when we have to deal with my father?’

Grayson took off his hat and ran a hand through his hair. ‘I know he’s a major problem, but he’s not the be all and end all. What about us? What about how we feel about each other?’

Lauren squeezed the soggy wad of napkins in her hand until the coffee ran back out again. Sometimes Grayson was too single minded for her peace of mind. ‘I’m not saying we have to break it off,’ she said carefully, ‘I’m just saying that we need to prioritise . . .’

Grayson shot to his feet, grabbed his cup and headed for the nearest trash can. Lauren tried to breathe deeply as he strode back to the table. He didn’t sit down again.

‘One thing I’ve learnt, Lauren, is that love isn’t something you prioritise. I tried that with my mom, and she died of cancer before I got to her on my “To Do” list. I’m not prepared to neglect the people I care about any more.’

Lauren stood up, aware of the interested glances around them and of Grayson’s scathing magnificence as he stood over her, daring her to contradict him. Was he saying he loved her?

Without replying, she turned and headed outside. Grayson followed slamming the door behind him. Seagulls stalked the wooden walkways, ready to snap up any scrap of food. The smell of decaying fish and stagnant water hung in the air. Wisps of fog like long bony fingers stretched out from across the bay to caress the tops of the buildings.

Grayson took hold of her arm and turned her to face him. ‘What’s wrong with me? I’m not being conceited here, but I’m generally considered to be a decent guy. I pay my bills, I don’t live with my parents and I haven’t got any dark secrets that I won’t happily reveal to you if you ask.’

What could she say? Yes, he was her perfect man? Yes, she loved him with all her heart? All true, but could she really open up to him before she cast the shadow of her father and her fear of family ties out?

‘You don’t understand. Everything I feel for you is so new. I care for you, Grayson, but –’

He put his finger against her lips. ‘I’m not sure I want to hear it. Listen to me.’ The intensity in his voice was matched by his expression. ‘We can make this work. You can keep an office in the city and at the ranch in Oregon. You can commute between the two. Hell, I’ll even share office space here with you as well. I’ll have every high-tech gadget you need to stay connected installed at the ranch so you’ll never have to worry.’

Lauren fought a ridiculous urge to stamp her foot. Why was he being so nice? It would be so easy just to say yes. Didn’t he understand that she wanted to come to him free and clear? She’d fought so hard to become an independent woman. If she gave in and allowed him to take over the job of protecting her, providing for her, she’d never feel like an adult.

She reached out to stroke his cheek. ‘I need to get through this lunch with my parents first. Can we talk about this later?’

His frustration was obvious. She watched him struggle with it and then take a deep breath. ‘OK, if you promise you’ll think about what I’ve said.’

She managed a tremulous smile. ‘Of course I will.’

His face relaxed and he bent to kiss her, leaving the taste of coffee on her lips. By mutual consent they turned back into the Ferry Building.

Lauren slid her hand into Grayson’s. Was she being too cautious? Her experience had taught her not to trust anyone, particularly a charming man. She’d just escaped the machinations of her father and established her own business. In a few more years she hoped to be free and independent enough to trust her own judgment. Why couldn’t Grayson understand that? Why couldn’t he just disappear and turn up again in five years when she would be ready to deal with him?

She glanced up at Grayson who had stopped to sample some goat’s cheese from an organic farm. He was deep in conversation with the shop owner about how goats were fed as compared to horses.

Grayson was right. It would be hard to find anyone who suited her better, even if she looked for the rest of her life. He was phenomenal in bed, he made her laugh and he could cook. Why was it so difficult to fall in with his plans? How would she feel if he walked away and never came back?

The thought of never seeing him again made her grip his hand hard. He broke off his conversation to look down at her, his expression full of concern. She stared into his blue eyes searching for answers. But she knew that the only place she’d find them would be in her own heart.

Lauren steered Grayson into her closet. ‘You might as well pick me another outfit. You did such a good job last time.’

To her relief, Grayson smiled. He’d remained quiet since their return, his expression distant, his eyes impossible to read.

‘I’d be glad to. Where are we going?’

‘Half Moon Bay. My parents have another house there near the beach. It can get quite foggy, so don’t pick anything too flimsy.’

Hangers clattered as Grayson moved them aside. He pulled out a navy silk dress with white spots. It was cut demurely at the front but swooped down low at the back. ‘How about this? You can take a jacket or a shawl for cover up.’

Lauren examined the dress. ‘I bought this one a while back, but I don’t think I’ve ever worn it. I always associate navy blue with my school uniform.’ She stepped into the dress and Grayson zipped her up. He kissed her shoulder and ran one long finger down her spine.