Where did your heart go? (The Heart Trilogy Book 1) (40 page)

“Keep practising until I see you next Saturday” Mitch said
.

“You too Mitch, ride carefully and let me know when you get home” Charlie said. She blew him a kiss and he pretended to catch it in his palm
.

“Don’t forget, no body puts Baby in the corner” he said, grinning at the use of his line from Dirty Dancing.

She watched him shut his visor down and then speed off down the road.

I watched Charlie standing on the doorstep and she reminded me of how it felt to be alone so I put the kettle on and made us both a cup of hot chocolate. As she wandered in she smiled weakly at me as I handed her the mug.

“Thanks Mum” she said
.

“I know how it feels honey” I said, pulling her close “I’ve been there myself” I finished.

“Yes, I know but at least I can keep in touch with Mitchell every day, it was much harder for you just waiting for letters and a weekly phone call.

“Life changes” I finished, as she turned away and headed for the stairs and her own memories.

“Night Mum” Charlotte said

“Night sweetheart, sleep tight”

Chapter 49

After a good nights sleep it was Monday morning again and a pretty normal working week until next weekend and the dance competition finals in London. I was really looking forward to spending some time in the capital with my daughter and my two best friends in the world. Sitting in the kitchen I made a coffee and waited for Charlotte to appear before School. It was their last week before the summer holidays and I hoped that we would be able to spend some quality time together, if she wasn’t too wrapped up in Mitchell. I thought about how the two of them were together and it felt like I was watching a mirror image of myself.

With the radio on in the background I made some toast and then stood in the hallway.

“
Charlotte, breakfast is ready” I shouted, and waited to here the sound of her feet on the stairs as she hurried down.

“Morning Mum” Charlie said, as she sat down and tu
cked into her toast and coffee “I’m already feeling nervous about the weekend and it’s only Monday” she continued.

“You’ll be fine on the day when the music starts” I said “I just know you will”

“Thanks Mum, hope you’ll be ok to meet Mitchell’s Dad and grandparents on Saturday”

“Of course I will, well unless they’re awful” I joked, and we both laughed, although I noticed that
Charlotte’s had a slight edge of worry to it.

“I’ve got two hours of practice after school so should be home at around six tonight” she said, finishing her toast and hurrying back upstairs to finish getting ready.

When she came down she handed me my diary
.

“I’ve finished it” she said, placing it down on the counter “It really helped me focus on my life after Craig and has made me realise that true love rarely comes along” she finished. I reached out and pulled her into a hug as she whispered
.

“I’m glad you didn’t die”

“I’m glad too” I finished choking back a lump that had formed in my throat; as I dropped a kiss on her forehead before we pulled apart.

“Bye Mum, see you later” she finished, the moment over as she headed out the door and ran down
the road to meet Julia. I looked at the diary and ran my fingers over the front cover, was I ready to throw it away and move on? As I couldn’t answer that question I picked it up and took it back upstairs with me to my bedroom.

At work I thought long and hard about the diary, almost so much that I was surprised when a text from my secret admirer filled the screen with today’s request. Today’s was a romantic one and I sighed to think about this mystery man thinking of me and trying to seduce me with song. It was definitely working as I queued up ‘I can’t help falling in love with you’ by Elvis and sent it out over the airwaves to the listening ears of my admirer. In return I played him ‘When I fall in love’ by Nat King Cole, keeping the oldies theme running. As my song played I thought about the sentiments in the words, did a person only ever fall in love once or could it happen twice. Once again I closed my eyes and an image of James was there in front of me, his arms open wide. I would have to wait and see who my blind date was in a couple of week’s time.

As they walked to college Julia turned to Charlotte.

“Wow, the way you dance with Mitchell is breath taking” she said
.

“I
know we just seem to fit together perfectly” Charlotte replied, a smile on her face as she pulled out her phone that had just pinged with a text message. She paused and read it “Hi Baby; am counting down the days, hours and minutes until I see you again on Saturday, Love Mitchell” She quickly typed back “Hi Mitch, you and me both, can’t wait to dance with you again along with other things. Love Charlie”

Julia saw the pink blush spread over her
friend’s cheeks and asked.

“So have you done it yet?”

“No, but we have done lots of other things” Charlie replied, grinning as she remembered where his tongue had been. As her mind connected with her body she felt a quick spike of desire roll through her.

“Tell me” Julia said
.

“Sorry I’d rather not, if that’s ok” she replied, as another text appeared on the screen.

They continued walking as Charlie looked at the next text
.

“You turn me on so much and I can’t wait until we are in that hotel room, I have a big surprise for you”

“I love big surprises” she replied, as she blushed even harder at the thought of what he might have in mind. She knew that the natural adrenaline high produced when she danced could only be topped by the desire she felt when Mitchell touched and kissed her. College passed without any further trouble from Craig, although she had deliberately dressed down today in jeans and a t-shirt as she didn’t want to provoke any further confrontations like the one on Friday. Practice went smoothly and Charlotte was really pleased with the props the art department had turned out for all their performances. There was a lot riding on this competition as first prize was £100,000 pounds for the school or college and the possibility of going forward into the European competition. Second prize was £50,000 and third was £10,000. She also knew that the judges were involved in recruiting dancers for musicals and music videos so if you stood out the possibilities were endless.

On the walk home Julia chatted away about things but Charlotte found she wasn’t listening as she thought about her Mum finally seeing James again after all these years. She really hoped that it would all go ok and that they might perhaps get back together. Although she missed her real Dad she had never even known him so having a Dad like James was quite a cool compromise, especially when she considered that it might mean her and Mitchell sharing a house a lot sooner than she could have hoped. Shaking the thoughts away she said goodbye to Julia and headed up the road. Inside her Mum was waiting on food in the kitchen and after a shower Charlotte changed into her pj’s and had supper with her best friend in the world.

Tuesday and Wednesday passed pretty quickly for all of us. I continued to flirt over the airwaves and Charlotte was either at practice in college or in her room. I worried that she was going to burn herself out before the weekend so on Thursday I took her to the cinema and we enjoyed the film ‘Rock of Ages’ which was great as it was musical and had plenty of dancing in it too. Also I had the opportunity to enjoy the sight of Tom Cruise who was still looking pretty fit for his age. Then Friday dawned and I ended up awake early as I heard the music coming from Charlotte’s room, I poked my head in as I passed by for the kitchen and promised her some scrambled egg on toast before college. When she eventually appeared in the doorway I looked at her pale face.

“Is everything ok” I asked

“No Mum, I had an awful dream last night that Mitchell dropped me during the lift and it all went wrong” she paused “We’ve hardly practised it enough and I don’t want to let him down or go wrong” she finished, sitting down and putting her head in her hands.

Walking round I pulled her into my arms.

“I have complete faith in the two of you, I know you will be perfect on the night and nothing bad is going to happen” I finished “Anyway you can find some time to practise on Saturday evening or Sunday morning”

I felt her shaking stop and headed back to the worktop to finish making her breakfast. I heard her reach for her phone and drop a text, followed by a quick reply and as I put the plate down in front of her a smile had returned to her face.

“Are you practising tonight?” I asked

“Yes but just for an hour as Mrs Grantley doesn’t want to overwork us and knows we all need an early night” she finished.

“Ok, take away for tea then, you decide which” I said

“Thanks Mum” she said, tucking into her food, which was a good sign.

Reaching the studio I headed in and gave Mark a wave as he was filling in for Paul and would also be doing my Saturday show while I was away. I made us both a coffee and looked through the emails and found one from my secret admirer, this was a change from his normal texts.

“Morning Stephanie can you play
‘I just called to say I love you by Stevie Wonder’ this morning and I hope you have a great weekend in London. From your secret admirer.” I read through it again and again. How did he know I would be in London this weekend? This guy seemed to know an awful lot of private things about me. I reached for my phone and quickly rang Jack.

“Hi Jack” I said
.

“Hi Steph, how’s things?”

“Fine but my secret admirer seems to know that I will be in London this weekend and I’m pretty sure I haven’t said anything on the radio about the dance competition” I replied.

“Well, I’ve already told you I
don’t know who he is” Jack replied.

“Ok, I believe you” I replied
.

“Wish
Charlotte luck for me” Jack finished.

“Thanks Jack I will” I replied as we hung up.

When Mark headed out of the studio I passed him a coffee.

“Morning Mark” I said.

“Morning Steph, you’re looking well, so who’s your secret admirer then?”

“I have no idea and it’s really bugging me as he seems to know where I live and that I’m going to be in London for the weekend” I replied.

“Oh that might be my fault as your daughter texted in and asked to give her group a good luck wish and play them a song” Mark replied “The email must have come in after that as she mentioned you were her Mum in the text” he finished. At least that helped to calm my nerves as I started my show and played the song he requested and followed it up with ‘Hello’ by Lionel Richie.
I also played ‘Lucky Star by Madonna’ for my daughter and her group and asked all the listeners to keep their fingers crossed for their local college dance group. The afternoon passed really quickly and Charlie dropped me a text asking for Chinese for tea, so I called in on my way home and had everything ready when she walked through the door.

After tea we headed for our respective room and started to pack our bags for the weekend. Sarah gave me a call and checked everything was all ok for the morning. We had a quick discussion about eating out on the Saturday night as Chris knew a good restaurant so I agreed to that. Suddenly Charlotte flew into my room, holding her phone tightly in her hand.

“Mitch has booked us
a ride on the London Eye, isn’t that exciting” she breathed.

“That’s lovely Aunt Sarah just phoned to say that they would book us a meal in a restaurant I said to book it for five but if you guys want to be by yourselves I’ll understand” I finished.

“Cool Mum, I can’t wait” she said, running back out of the room a huge smile on her face and all the worries from the morning gone.

When we eventually finished packing we called it a night and headed to bed. In my room I glanced over at the diary that still lay on my bedside cabinet. I reached out for it and opened it once again at the first few pages and started to read. As I closed the last page I looked across at my clock and realised that it was already one in the morning. I got up and headed down to the kitchen for a glass of water and stood looking out over the garden, bathed in moonlight. All the memories flooded back through my mind as I felt like a sixteen year old again, sure but uncertain, brave but scared, in love but devastated. I hoped that Mitchell would not hurt my baby, sleeping soundly in her bed. I wished that James had never hurt me all those years ago, his words a poisoned chalice that I drank from, his promises shattered around me like my broken mirror on New Year’s Day.

I crept into the lounge and put the stereo on and listened to all the songs that had made up my relationship, finishing with “Father Figure and Take my Breath Away” and I cried until no more tears would fall down my cheeks. Had my diary taught Charlotte that life was a cruel mistress, one that would crush dreams in her fist, as I thought again of the bitch that ruined my love? Then I slowly turned and walked back to my lonely empty bed, I took one of my tablets and sleep finally claimed me from my dark thoughts.

In her room Charlotte slept fitfully, tossing and turning as her mind went over all the different steps, turns and lifts in the three routines. Then she was stood waiting for the music to start for her dance with Mitchell. She dreamed that as she stood there her Mum suddenly saw James across the auditorium and stood up. As she did Charlotte saw the piece of jagged glass in her hand and she drew it across her wrists once more. The blood was spraying the people all around her as she fell to the floor. Charlotte remained motionless on the stage as Mitchell walked towards her and they started to dance. The mayhem in the audience seemed to continue around them as they danced the perfect routine. Charlotte woke in a sweat and decided to head for the bathroom to top up her glass of water.

On the landing she heard music coming from downstairs and she tiptoed quietly down the stairs and peered into the lounge. She saw her Mum sitting on the sofa, the diary in her hands as tears ran down her cheeks. Charlotte hesitated and wondered if she should go in and comfort her Mum. But something stopped her and she quietly headed back to her room. She reached for her phone and tapped out a quick text to Mitchell