When You're Ready (14 page)

I held onto it while he beat powerful blows into the stuffed cloth. 

“Nothing man, just need to release some tension.”

He paused and looked at me. “C’mon, Scout, I know you. Don’t try to give me that ‘nothing’ shit. What gives? Rich people problems?” he chuckled. “I hear about those all day.”

“Nah, man,” I swallowed to get rid of the lump in my throat, “girl problems.”

“Oh shit! Seriously? Some girl finally got to you, huh?” Jason was shaking his head and laughing again. “I knew it would happen one day, man. I knew it!”

I wanted to wipe that shit eating grin right off of Jason’s face, but he was right. Some girl
had
finally gotten to me. Nola had invaded everything—my thoughts, my dreams for the future, my…heart. And I didn’t know how to wrap my mind around it.

“Shut up and get in the ring,” I said, trying to brush Jason’s words aside.

“Fine. We can go a few rounds, but then you have to tell me about her, alright?”

“Yeah, alright,” I said, climbing into the ring. “But I’m not taking it easy on you.”

Jason and I put on our protective headgear, gloves, and began circling each other in the ring. He lumbered toward me and he threw a punch that would have cracked a few ribs if it connected with my body, but I bounced out of the way just in time. He charged ahead again and threw a jab near my head, but I twisted right, feeling the wind from his punch brush past my ear.

“Stop running,” Jason grunted through his mouth guard, and I laughed as he threw another clumsy haymaker and missed.

I shuffled my feet, bobbing and weaving like I was Mohamed Ali in his prime. I could tell Jason was getting annoyed, but I knew that meant he’d open himself up for an attack. As soon as his hands dropped away from his face I threw three rabbit-like punches to his jaw.

“Motherfucker,” he spat, aiming another punch to my midsection that didn’t connect.

I moved right, then left, and hit him hard in the kidney. Jason stumbled back, and I thought he was going to go down, but he recovered and lurched forward.

He threw a solid blow that caught me in my side and felt like I’d been hit with a glove full of cement. My knees wobbled, but instead of going down I smiled, thankful for the familiar sting to my body.

“About time you decided to step up,” I told him before jamming my fist in his face again.

Jason staggered back before rushing toward me again, but the clang of the bell halted his attack.

“Saved by the bell,” he grunted. “You ready to talk about your girl now, or you want me to kick your ass for real?”

“Whatever, man. I saw your knees buckling, you almost went down,” I said, chugging water. “But yeah, I’m ready to talk.”

Jason and I exited the ring, then grabbed our bags and headed down the block to get a beer.

“So what’s up?” he asked as soon as the waitress brought our brews. “Tell me about her.”

I sat back in my seat and took a swig of beer, trying to organize what I wanted to say.

“Her name’s Nola—“

“Like the chick from the film?” he asked, his eyes bright.

“What film?”

“You know, that Spike Lee one about the girl who likes to fuck, no strings attached,” Jason snapped his fingers trying to come up with the name. “She’s Gotta Have It!”

I frowned, Nola may have shared a name with the girl from the movie, but she was nothing liked her.

“Shut up, man. Anyway, she’s a student at UCLA, gorgeous, brilliant, hard working—“

“So what’s the problem?” he asked cutting me off.

“She sees me as just a friend.”

Jason choked on his beer, coughing loudly. “A what?”

“A
friend
.” I said it like it was the worst thing in the world. “She said it the other day when I picked her up from work. She even tried to pass me gas money for giving her a ride,” I shook my head, remembering how shocked I was when Nola handed me the cash. “I don’t know what to do, Jay.”

Jason chuckled for a minute, then got serious. “You need to wife her, man.”

“What?” I said, shocked a perpetual playboy like Jason would come to such a conclusion. “You know that’s not my thing,.”

He nodded. “I do, but I also know you’ve never talked to me about a woman before. So this one must be special.”

“She is,” I said, taking another sip of beer. “I can’t get her out of my head, man. It’s crazy, I want to protect her, I want to fuck up other guys for even looking at her, I want her to quit her job so I can take care of her.”

“Slow down, man. Let’s not get all crazy. Are you sure she’s not using you for your money?”

I shook my head. “I don’t even think she knows I
have
money.”

“So she hasn’t been to your house?”

“She has, but—“

“But what?” he said, impatiently.

I thought back to the first night we met at the cocktail party. I never interacted with the wait staff, didn’t even hire them directly, so there was no way for her—or anyone, really—to know I owned the house.

“Well, we met at a cocktail party at my place, but I don’t think she knows it was mine. She was working with the catering crew, you know, serving champagne and food.”

Jason nodded.

“Anyway, my assistant handles all that.” I took a sip of beer, remembering how beautiful Nola looked the first time I saw her staring out at the city lights. “I happened to catch her on a break and I couldn’t keep my eyes off her.”

“So it’s a physical thing? Maybe you just need to sleep with her to get her out of your system.”

“I don’t think so, Jay. I mean, I want to sleep with her, but I don’t want to fuck this up. She’s smart and she works crazy hours to pay for school and…” I stopped short of admitting my biggest fear.

“And what?” Jason asked, like he was hanging on my every word. “What?”

“And,” I swallowed hard, “she’s too good for me.”

“Bullshit!” Jason said immediately.

“Jay, you don’t know this girl, man. She’s been through a lot too. Her dad died, and apparently that caused her mom to check out on her, but she’s not fucked up in the head like me. I don’t want to taint her, man. I’m just a poor kid with junkie parents from Pacoima. She’s out of my league.”

“Bullshit,” Jason said again. “First of all, you’re fucking
loaded
, and not for nothing, but you look like Captain America with tattoos and shit. You can walk outside and have a million women falling at your feet,” he chuckled. “But more importantly, you’re a good guy, Scout. You try to hide it, but you’ve got a good heart and you’d do anything for the people you love. I should know.”

“That’s because you’re my brother,” I said, pounding his fist and remembering all of the times Jason saved my ass.

“Exactly. That’s how I know this girl would be lucky to have you,” he said, draining his beer. “You just have to give her a chance, man.”

I rolled my eyes. “To be my
friend
?”

“Yeah, until she’s ready for more.”

“And what if she chooses to want
more
with some other guy?”

“Then we’ll make him disappear,” Jason said with a laugh, but I knew if I asked, he’d make it happen.

“Deal.”

15
Nola

Sunday crawled by so slowly it felt like time was moving in reverse. I dragged through the first couple hours of my shift barely smiling, mixing up orders, and limping along until it was mercifully time for a break. I sat in the backroom, wondering how I could possibly make it through eight more hours of pure hell when Roxy strolled into the room laughing so loud I thought my head would explode.

“What’s wrong with you?” she asked, rolling her green eyes like
I
was the one messing up her mood.

I put my head to my knees hoping Roxy would leave me alone, but as usual, she couldn’t take a hint, or she just didn’t care.

“Nothing, I’m just tired,” I said with my face pressed to my legs. I was hoping to grab a few minutes of sleep on my break, but between the clanging dishes in the kitchen and the loud rock music playing throughout the restaurant, it was no use.

“You look like shit.” Roxy walked over and sat beside me.

“Thanks,” I mumbled, hoping she’d get up and go for a smoke like she always did, but Roxy didn’t budge. “Look, I’m exhausted, okay? I’ve been busting my ass here, working on a huge paper for one of my classes, and I’ve had like five hours of sleep in the last two days. I just need to close my eyes for a few minutes. So, can you leave me alone, please?”

“Sorry to break it to you, Nola, but that’s not gonna work.”

“Well, I’m going to try anyway,” I said, my face still resting on my thighs.

“Okay, but in a few minutes Ross will be in here and back on your ass again. If you mix up another order he’s gonna lose his shit,” she chuckled to herself.

I groaned. Ross had already pulled me aside and told me to get it together,
or else
. I wanted to ask,
or else what?
But I held my tongue. He made me feel like I was always walking on a tightrope, and at any moment I’d lose my balance and things could come crashing down. I couldn’t afford to lose my job, but I was dancing so close to the edge of delusion I almost didn’t care.

“I just need a few minutes, Roxy, then I’ll be fine.”

I closed my eyes and heard Roxy get up, grab something out of her locker, and plop back down next to me.

“Here’s what you need.” She slipped a small, white pill into my hand and I immediately gave it back. Roxy
was not
about to turn me into some tragic after school special.

“Uh, thanks, but umm, I don’t do drugs.”

Roxy cackled. “Relax. It’s not heroin or anything, Nola. Just Adderall. It’ll help you focus and stay awake.”

“Nah….I don’t think so. I just need a few minutes of shut-eye and I’ll be back on my feet.”

Roxy shrugged and popped the pill in her mouth. “Suit yourself. But that catnap isn’t going to cut it. I’ve been taking these for years, popping a couple whenever I need a little pick-me-up. I just figured you needed something to get you through the day.”

“Thanks…but I’m not trying to get addicted to anything; I’m too poor,” I said, hoping to turn the whole thing into a bad joke.

The truth was, my father’s overdose scared the shit out of me and made me think I was one failed experiment away from being strung out. I’d spent my whole life avoiding weed, Ecstasy and any other drugs people my age normally tried when they were feeling rebellious. While other kids got high at parties and enjoyed themselves I was always terrified that one hit would turn me into a junkie, always in need of a fix. I had enough baggage weighing me down, I didn’t need to add drug addict to the mix.

“Chill out, Nola. It’s not meth,” she chuckled and shook her head. “You’re not going to turn into some pathetic crack whore. I got these from my doctor; I have a prescription, you know?”

I massaged my temples. I already felt like death warmed over and I knew there was absolutely no way I would make it through the rest of my shift without an insane amount of caffeine, an unhealthy number of energy drinks, or whatever was in Roxy’s little pills. All of the options were bad, so I picked the one I thought would cause the least damage.

“Fine.” I stuck out my hand and Roxy dropped three small tablets into my palm. “But if I die, I’m
totally
going to kill you.”

She threw her head back and laughed, exposing her tongue ring. Roxy was a beautiful girl, but she tried to bury it under layers of heavy black-eye liner, colorful tattoos, and way too much attitude.

“You’ll be fine,” she said, softening her expression for a millisecond, “but don’t take them all at once. Space them out, okay?”

My face turned pale and I gave Roxy a hard look. “Maybe…I just shouldn’t take them at all.” I surveyed the pills in my hand, they didn’t look harmful or like they’d turn me into a raving lunatic, but how could I be sure?

“Relax, Nola. They won’t kill you but you have to see how your body reacts. Take one and see how you feel. When you start to get tired you can take another one. If you don’t feel anything within the next hour or so, take the second one and see if it helps.”

I couldn’t believe it; I was actually going to take drugs—from Roxy of all people. Is this what I’ve been working so hard for? It didn’t feel right, but what other choice did I really have? It was either take the pills and keep my job, or pass out from exhaustion and end up unemployed. The little pills seemed like the best of a host of really horrible options.

I nodded, half-listening to Roxy’s instructions and cursing my parents for messing up so royally I was in this position in the first place. I told myself this foray into drug use would only last long enough to get me through the day, nothing more. I wouldn’t turn into one of those pill-popping students who used any excuse—midterms, a research paper, a frat party—to dabble in drugs. I’d been able to make it this far without pharmaceuticals, and I knew I could do it again—just not now.