When You Come to Me (35 page)

Natalie cleared her throat, slicing the fruit slowly. “That’s...not...Anthony...”

And just as Natalie finished her last word, her secret appeared in the living room in nothing more than a pair of plaid pajama bottoms. He scratched his belly slowly with a mystified look glazed across his face.

“You cooked me breakfast...?” he asked her, grinning slowly.

She nodded. “Just the way you like it...”

She lingeringly stared at Brandon, feeling giddy and light, blushing each time that his eyes flickered a little.

“Can someone please explain something to me...?”

“No, Ash,” Brandon replied, sitting at the kitchen table beside her. He then placed a hand to her shoulder. “Just know that me and your gorgeous roommate over there had a small discussion about some things and decided that it was best to...uh...give it another go...”

“
Give it another go
? Do you think I’m stupid...?”

“Of course not, Asha, baby,” Natalie replied, placing Brandon’s meal before him.

“A couple of weeks ago we had to yank you by your teeth to get you to even speak to each other...now, you’re boyfriend and girlfriend...? I don’t understand...”

Natalie joined the table. “You don’t have to, Ash,” she said, smiling into Brandon. “Just be happy for us...”

“Of course I’m happy for you...I just...I just want to...oh, fuck it...I love you guys...”

In many places and many cultures across the great expand called Earth, such a sensation is universally needed as a means to survival. Sure, she wasn’t used to pondering such profound thoughts on a graceful Indian summer evening downtown with her friends, but she liked to think that maybe her narrow scope was changing for the better, and a greater understanding for her purpose in life was forming.

Scotty was just as elated as Asha was, if not more. And as he and his best friend sat across from her and her roommate, he visibly attempted to refrain from asking too many questions about how their coupling came to be, and how they made it look so easy again. Natalie couldn’t answer that question, and she was certain that Brandon couldn’t answer it as confidently either. There were things between that often went without saying, and she realized long ago that her feelings for Brandon were far deeper than she was ready to acknowledge or prove or even voice out loud. But she was still getting used to the idea that he was smiling at her the way that he used to, that she was laughing with him the way that she used to, that she woke up that morning and he was laying right next to her, filling her body with a familiar warmth.

She could easily acknowledge that very little had changed about him; from the beer that he chose at dinner, to the way he styled his hair. And she was confident and glad that their love for each other had endured time and space and appalling tension...she shuddered a little at the thought of how they used to toward one another, how much she used to hate him, loathe him, want him...

Natalie took a deep breath. She wanted to savor the moment for what it was; she didn’t want to think about what tomorrow would bring or the next day...she only prayed that Brandon never grew tired of her...she didn’t know how she could handle life if he left again...

“I grow bored of Athens,” Scotty said, taking a sip of his beer. Brandon eyed him curiously.

“You’re always growing bored of something, Scotty,” Natalie teased. “This is nothing new...”

“What are you getting at, Kelly?” Asha questioned him, picking a fry from his plate.

“For those who are not aware,” he began, clearing his throat. “My aunt and uncle have a time-share on Jekyll Island and have invited me and my friends down for a barbecue this weekend...and while I have a number of friends, you are the only motherfuckers that I can stand for more than two hours...”

“That was perhaps the worse invitation I’ve ever heard in my life,” Natalie replied.

Brandon chuckled under his breath.

“Will your aunt and uncle be staying the whole weekend?” Asha questioned. “If you’re suggesting that they are two old farts, my dear Asha Rosalie,” Scotty began.

“Then you know nothing about them...they happen to be the two coolest people in the world...they don’t hover...but they know how to party...”

“Hmm,” Asha murmured.

“How much is it going to cost?” Natalie asked.

“Oh, my sweet, sweet Tallie,” Scotty teased. “My aunt and uncle are generous...you can stay free of charge...but you must chip in for groceries...”

“I’m definitely going then,” Asha said, holding her burger to her mouth.

“We’ve got one taker,” Scotty started. “Brandon, Natalie?”

“I won’t go unless
she
goes...”

Natalie hesitated.

“Nat, don’t think about it,” Scotty told her. “You and Brandon can have a free getaway...you should really take this time to get to know each other again...we can drink free beer till we puke, go to the beach, go shopping in Savannah, talk about science and shit... whatever you want to do...”

Natalie chuckled a little. “Fine...but I’m not wearing a bathing suit...”

#

Riding in Scotty’s car again and listening to the music with the windows rolled down was beyond surreal. Natalie sat in awe for a series of drawn out moments at a time, wishing that she could tritely pinch herself. She lounged comfortably in the backseat and remained quiet for the most part; she was much more comfortable with observing her friends and trying to remember them as they used to be. She couldn’t understand why they’d let each other go so easily, or why they never fought to get it back together. And maybe it was her fault; it appeared as though Asha, Brandon and Scotty had chosen to keep their friendship intact. She was just so unwilling to let the past be the past, she was still hurt, confused.

But she loved that maybe that was all behind her now, and she couldn’t wait for her and Brandon to get all the kinks worked out of their spontaneous reformation. And then she impulsively assumed that they were only meant to be friends, and that their romantic severance was meant to last forever. She took a deep breath at the thought of it, and subtly glanced over at him as he joked with Scotty. And then he glanced back at her and smiled, winking his eye as his fingers slowly snaked along the seat and reached for hers. She felt a series of shivers run through her in the initial contact, and she released a breath through her parted lips.

She quickly pushed that ridiculous notion out of her head. She couldn’t stand being near anyone else. It just wouldn’t the same. And Brandon knew it too. She slid her bottom across the seat, and nestled herself in his nook as he wrapped his arms around her. She could smell the cologne she’d bought him so long ago, and she pictured nothing but Jekyll Island, with the moonlit beach and Brandon’s moonlit eyes, and her desperate need to resist her burgeoning feelings for him. She was so young and ignorant, but there was something organic and new about their connection, and she couldn’t believe that she’d tried to hide her feelings for as long as she did. It was then that she realized that Brandon was more than his looks and his innate sexiness; she could see right through him, and his soul was what she wanted.

Not much has changed since then...

Scotty neglected to mention that his Aunt Francis and Uncle Kent were once two big- time Nashville criminal lawyers, who owned an oceanfront palace, which looked more like a mansion in Beverly Hills than anything else. But the appearance of the near-elderly Kelly twosome did not reflect their apparent wealth, which eased Natalie a little bit.

They allowed their nephew’s guests to choose one of five bedrooms, all on the upper level, all facing the ocean.

“You won’t even know we’re here,” Aunt Francis said, shaking herself a martini.

She and Brandon choose the bedroom at the end of the hallway with vaulted ceilings, a king-sized bed, and an obnoxiously large veranda.

“Is this a house or a hotel?”

“Yea, I want to be like them one day,” Brandon smiled, throwing their bags on the bed. She sauntered out on the veranda overlooking the crystal clear water, and she attempted to remember why Jekyll Island had been so significant once upon a time. Brandon followed quickly behind her, hooking his arms around her waist, pressing his lips against her temple, letting them linger.

“Finally alone,” he whispered. She nodded in agreement. “I can’t believe it’s been so long since we came here,” she said, smiling a little. “We should have come back a long time ago,” he replied. “We had a lot of fun that week, didn’t we?”

“Speak for yourself,” she replied. “I was freaking out the entire time...I was on a very extreme emotional roller coaster. Here I am, starting to regret going on the trip in the first place, because I knew what was going to happen. I knew my best friend felt the same way about our situation as I did. There’s something strange and exciting going on between us, and everyone can see it, everyone’s acknowledged it except us. We were close, we had fun, he always found a way to make me laugh, I could almost be myself with him. Then he kisses me one night and all of a sudden everything changes...and...and my feelings catapult...and I don’t know how to handle myself...”

He squeezed her a little harder. “I had acknowledged it...and I was waiting for you to do the same...I couldn’t wait to tell you what I had told Sophia...I couldn’t wait for you to understand what was going on in my head...how I was feeling...”

She turned to face him slowly. “And how were you feeling?” she asked him earnestly.

He took a deep breath, eyeballing her intently.

“The way I feel about you now,” he told her matter-of-factly. “The way I’ve always felt about you...you know that, Tallie...”

She lowered her eyes momentarily and shook her head. He reached down at the base of her chin and tilted upward toward his face.

“Don’t look away from me,” he murmured. “I’m tired of you looking away. You aren’t some random girl that I stop caring about two seconds into it...you’re way more than that and you know it...”

Suddenly reality hit her, and it manifested in wetness on her cheeks. Her bottom lip quivered.

“Then how could you leave me like that?” she whispered.

“I was scared then too,” he admitted quietly. “And that night I...I just felt like you didn’t want me...I felt like you would’ve been better off if we weren’t together...”

“Well,” she began. “Maybe you’re right...maybe it would be better if we weren’t together...”

His eyes got wider, his brows furrowed. “What the hell does that mean?”

“We’ll never be fully satisfied with each other, will we? You’ll always want something else...something more from me that I’ll never be able to give...”

“Really, Natalie?”

“Maybe we’re just not meant to happen,” she replied. “Maybe you were meant to walk away from me...maybe it was better for the both of us...”

“So why are we standing right here, right now? Why are our bags on that bed in there? Why have I slept in your bed the past few nights? Hmm? Why am I standing here, telling you that I love you...?”

“You didn’t...”

“I didn’t what?”

“Tell me that you love me,” she whispered.

He then released a quick breath, reached for her face with both hands and pushed his lips into hers, backing her into the railing. She set herself free for a few seconds, remembering how good it felt to kiss him, allowing him to control her body. And then she pushed him away, sloppily wiped her mouth, and said, “I want you to prove it...prove how much you love me...until then...you can’t have me...”

“After all of these years, Natalie Chandler, I think I finally have you figured out,” Asha said, as they changed into their bathing suits.

“What are you talking about?” she asked, sliding her bottoms up her legs. “You’re mean,” Asha replied, giggling at the blatancy of it. “You’re a mean person...”

“In what way have I been mean? Have I ever been mean to you?”

“Maybe ‘mean’ isn’t the right word,” she sighed. “Maybe it’s judgmental...no, discriminatory...no, hypocritical...”

Once she’d finished putting on her bathing suit, she settled on the bed, ogling her friend in disbelief. She tried her hardest not to think about what she’d said to Brandon earlier, but Asha hadn’t been able to let it go, and she hadn’t seen or heard from him since then.

Asha joined her on the bed, sighing. “Look...I don’t mean to be rude, you know that I love you dearly...and I’ve sincerely tried to keep my mouth shut because I could tell that you were genuinely confused about what to do with Anthony and Brandon...”

“I’m listening...”

“When are you ever going to be done punishing Brandon?”

“What are you talking about, Ash?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about, Nat,” Asha replied. “And don’t go getting all defensive because you need to hear it. You didn’t have to deal with Brandon after he saw you kissing Anthony, hugging Anthony, telling Anthony you loved him...you didn’t see how hurt he was...you didn’t see him get so piss drunk one night that he cried...he stayed strong around you...he’s always thought about your feelings first. Scotty and I dealt with him and we didn’t judge him or say anything to you about it...because we care about him and we care about you. You can’t keep punishing him, Natalie. You can’t keep hurting him.”

“It’s easy for you to say that, Asha,” Natalie replied, sliding off of the bed and reaching for her bag. “You didn’t have to deal with the pain. You didn’t have to worry whether or not you were going to cry yourself to sleep each night. You didn’t have to deal with loving someone more than you ever loved yourself. Nobody knows how to deal with Brandon better than me...and that’s the truth...”

“Whatever you say, Natalie,” she replied, sliding off the bed with her. “I just don’t want you to understand what I saying when it’s too late and he’s moved on finally...you remember how it was in college...there are plenty of other girls who would love to give him a chance...not to say he would give
them
one...but you catch my drift, don’t you?”

“Yes, Ash...everything you’re saying makes sense...I just wish someone would take my side for a change...I think that I deserve that much...”