When You Come to Me (11 page)

With her arms folded, she looked at him, couldn’t believe that she was tapping her foot like her mother, didn’t know why she got so mad at him, didn’t know why, in the silence of that residential street and the way his eyes enlarged in her direction, she felt her stomach do something weird.

“What’s your problem?” she asked again. “I haven’t seen you in a month, then you give me this attitude? I don’t know where you come from, Brandon Greene, but that’s not how you treat friends…”

“She’s been sleeping with someone behind my back!”

“What?”

“Sophia…she…she’s been sleeping with someone behind my back…”

“Who?”

“I don’t know…”

“Well, how do you know that she’s been sleeping around?”

“Scotty told me…”

“Well you cheated on her,” she reminded him. “Surely you didn’t think it wouldn’t come back to bite you in the butt…”

“And why are you not on my side on this?”

“It’s not about sides, Brandon…I…”

Suddenly, she felt that exhaustion return, the type that made her want to steer clear of him altogether, the kind that wanted to smack some sense into him, the kind that made her angrier that what she thought appropriate for a Christian girl, than what she thought appropriate for their situation…

And she looked at her friend, prayed to her Lord that he didn’t say another word, that he only understood, that they were close enough to where he could see the exasperation in her eyes…

“I loved her, Nat…”

She took a deep breath…

“I mean, I really, really loved her—“

“You’re so selfish, Brandon Greene…”

He closed his lips, his eyes grew bigger, and the expression that followed suit made her stomach turn again.

“What?”

“You’re so selfish,” she repeated, tightening her folded arms. “Lord have mercy, you think the sun rises and sets on your behind, don’t you?”

“Where in the hell did that come from?”

“Observation, Brandon! Pure observation!”

She turned away from him, wanted the feeling in her stomach to go away, wanted the image of the look in his eyes to leave her mind.

“What the—“

“Leave her, Brandon! Leave her…” She felt her voice crack.

Silence again. She could hear his breaths behind her. And she turned to him again, and the weird feeling in her stomach intensified, and she studied his face, looked for the moment where she hoped he’d agree with her.

“Yes, Nat,” she wanted him to say. “Yes, Nat, I’ll go home and I’ll tell her it’s over…for you…I’ll do it for you…”

But he only looked at her, and she wished that he didn’t look at her that way…in a way that suggested to an outsider that they were more…more than the confusing friendship that they’d held for over a year.

It was more like a gaze, really, as if he had more to say and couldn’t say it, as if he wanted her to tell him why he should leave her.

“Take me home,” she whispered.

And he did.

She got out of the car without saying a word, something that had become abnormal for even her.

She slammed the door out of protest, hoped, in their silence that he got the message, that Sophia wasn’t right for him, had never been. Brandon only needed to wake up and see it himself.

#

She agreed to cover the afternoon shift at the library for Kyle, her biochem lab partner, if he agreed to tutor her for the upcoming midterm. It was the week prior to Spring Break, and she spent most of the five-hour shift twiddling her thumbs, uncomfortably daydreaming, expecting Brandon to find her there as he’d done the first time long ago, and torment her…

She sat behind the desk at the front, was responsible for checking the students who wanted books out, and directing phone calls to their varying locations. She was relieved she was taking the extra shift, wanted to save money up so that she could move into the empty bedroom in Asha’s apartment in the fall, and take the first steps in establishing her independence, and making the burden lighter for her mama. She was excited to move off of campus, enjoyed the fact that she would get her own room, anticipated the fun she would have with Asha and the social perks that accompanied living with her.

By the fourth hour of the shift, the line to check out books had grown considerably, and by the last person, Natalie was ready to leave.

“Natalie, you look as if you’re going to beat someone up…”

Natalie looked up, and saw Scotty.

Natalie chuckled, retrieved the books in his hands, and said, “Yes, I am so ready to leave…”

“I can tell,” Scotty smiled, his teeth, the straightest and prettiest of any boy she’d ever seen. “How have you been?”

“Tired, working, ready for a break…”

“I agree,” he said.

Natalie scanned each book and Scotty waited patiently, looking down at her hands as she worked.

“It’s been awhile since I’ve seen you at the house,” he remarked. “I thought you’d be there more since Brandon broke up with Sophia…”

Natalie looked at him, felt her insides curl. “He did what?”

“Yea, shocked me too,” Scotty said. “I think it’s for good this time…I’ve seen a lot more of him. We go out now like we used to…”

Natalie nodded, placed the books in a neat stack, relief warmed her. “How is he?” She asked this with hesitation, as if it would give away how she was beginning to feel about him.

Scotty sighed, “He’s great…I’ve never seen him happier…he goes to see the kids again now…after awhile he stopped…I think Sophia thought the attention was being pulled away from her…”

A countenance of confusion crossed Natalie’s face. “Kids?”

“Yea, Brandon volunteers at Bledsoe Elementary across town,” Scotty informed. “He watches kids after school…been doing it since freshman year…I don’t know why he goes all the way across town, but he does…”

Natalie finished her shift, took the four o’ clock bus, and arrived at the elementary school in minutes, curiosity driving her. She entered the building, felt the cool interior chill her bare brown arms, saw the Easter artwork of the children, immediately recalled her days of elementary school, which seemed a lifetime ago, which, during its time, brought her happiness. She noticed the plainness of the walls, the bland cream-colored, institutionalized cement blocks, the chipping paint towards the ceiling, the cracked green tile floor, the sound of laughing children nearby, the smell of crayons and stale food surfacing.

She walked slowly, feeling the guilt of invasiveness cover her, wondering how she’d react once she saw him, how he would feel if he saw her.

She turned a corner, the light of early evening flashing into her eyes, and she gasped when someone tapped her lightly on the shoulder.

“Are you here to pick up a child?”

Natalie turned around to see a shorter black woman standing before her. Her soft voice matched her sweet round face and her humble appearance.

Natalie quickly shook her head.

“You must be looking for Brandon,” the woman assumed before she could speak.

Natalie nodded timidly, and the woman touched her gingerly on the arm, extending her hand outward, pointing her finger in the direction of another hallway.

“Very well,” the woman said. “It’s after four, the kids should be done with homework and should be outside…now, walk down this hallway, and turn right…the door to the playground should be there…I don’t know what Brandon has planned for the kids today, but they should be nearby…”

She spotted his lofty frame, standing in a small space of patchy grass to the right of the worn-down playground. She removed her sandals, placed them neatly on the concrete foundation by the door, and began her tread on the grass, remarkably soft, the tall fully green trees, creating a fence to the outside world, the sound of cars on the busy two-lane road beyond the trees, whirring by. The breeze was soft, and the branches of the trees rustled, and several feet ahead of her, she heard the laughter and the squeals of the eight or so children, mostly girls, either black or Hispanic, being chased by the big, bad Brandon.

They called him “Brandy”, and his hearty laugh became louder as she got closer. He lifted some of the children up into his arms, and some pretended that they were flying, squealing all the way through, and the image of Brandon’s smile, made her heart beat funny, the sight of the way his hair naturally fell into his face made it hard for her to breathe…

Natalie, what on earth is going on?

And it was then, when he stopped his horseplay and spotted her, a look of bewilderment crossing his face, the breeze growing stronger, the sunlight illuminating his eyes, that she internally admitted to having feelings for Brandon.

He said nothing, of course, and turned back to his children, and she noticed that a couple of the girls were gazing at him, the way she and Maya gazed at hazel-eyed, brown-skinned Mr. Paltrow in the fourth grade.

“Why don’t we play a nice game of freeze tag?” Brandon told them, a couple of dark-skinned girls with matching knobby knees, latching onto his legs.

The children squealed in excitement and began the argument of who should be “it”.

It was then that Brandon looked at Natalie, smiling. “And don’t you think my friend, Nattie, should come play too?”

Suddenly, she liked the way he called her that…

Oh, no, Natalie, no.

The children cheered, but Natalie took a step back. She didn’t want to play, had never gotten accustomed to playing games with children. She realized then, and regretted somewhat, that while Sid and Maya preferred running outside in the yard like a couple of banshees, getting their play clothes dirty, Natalie was inside, under her mama’s wing, learning the ends and outs of cooking food, enjoying the fact that she got to stay clean and not get reprimanded for coming in the house dirty.

Natalie shook her head in Brandon’s direction, becoming uneasy as he approached her.

“No, Brandon, no,” she whined to him as he took her arm. “I can’t…I’m barefoot…”

“A lousy excuse,” he told her. “Come on, the kids want you to play…and don’t disappoint the kids…”

He tugged on her arm, pulling her into the direction of the children who now stood in a group. The same two girls then latched onto Brandon’s leg again, pleading, “Brandy, we want you to play too! Come play!”

Brandon, laughing a little, sighed and said, “Alright, you little munchkins, only if I’ll be ‘it’…”

The children enjoyed this idea, as if they knew that Brandon, being as tall as he was, would be the ultimate challenge to run away from.

Natalie was able to pull Brandon aside for a moment, and whisper closely, “Bran, I don’t know how to play tag…”

He looked at her, and the way his eyes moved, caused Natalie to stop breathing for a split second, and the strange feelings returned. “Run,” he whispered back. “Just run as fast as you can…”

The children, and Natalie, were able to get a good head start. They frantically began to run about the small grassy area, and Brandon stood frozen for a few moments, smiling, watching them squeal with delight. A pair of girls took hold of Natalie’s wrists, saying, “This way, this way! He won’t get you over here…”

And Natalie followed, her innocence and reservations prevailing, feeling Brandon’s eyes watching her every move, allowing herself to smile if only temporarily. Some children hid behind the bases of large fencing oak trees, snickering quietly, witnessing their “Brandy” begin to take his first steps. The two girls ushered Natalie to one of these trees, ordering her to stand behind it, while they stood behind her, clutching onto her slim legs as they had done with Brandon before.

Natalie didn’t understand why her heart started to beat wildly, feeling as much alive as the children below her, feeling the excitement, the anticipation and a tinge of fear, taking into consideration Brandon’s masterful body structure and his apt for the athletics coming into play. She felt the sweat of the warm early Spring day bead at her forehead, felt her body warm to the idea of being chased by Brandy, liking the nickname more and more as time passed. She poked her head around the wide base of the tree, saw Brandon begin his attack on the children, catching a couple with one expanse of his long, muscular arm, grabbing them momentarily, growling hungrily, almost scarily, making them freeze in their spot. The children let out a loud squeal of defeat, and Natalie returned her head to her hiding place, butterflies fluttering in her stomach, the two girls latching on for dear life, the sound of Brandon’s footsteps getting closer and closer. Natalie smiled for a moment, heard her two little companions say that Brandy was always this fun, hoping that this time they wouldn’t get caught…they would stick together…

The children ran frantically, Brandon close behind them, scooping them up into his arms, sighing each time that a child was able to become unfrozen and he had to go after them again. Natalie could hear his breaths of exhaustion, could hear it in his laughter, breathed deeper each time that she heard a joke he told to one child, or the way he laughed with another…

Suddenly, she could no longer hear his laughter, could no longer hear him at all, and her two girls clutched tighter to her legs, Natalie’s heart a complete mess by now, her breaths in the same fashion…

The silence, save for the sound of the rustling trees, gave her the feeling of excitement and danger, something she never felt as a child, something she avoided feeling, because the thirst for safety always prevailed.

“Take my hands, girls,” she told them in whisper. “And get ready…”

When she heard the sound of a twig snap on the other side of the tree base, she took off running, her two little ones in tow, laughing by way of screaming, Brandon, breaking free from his hiding place, running as if he were in a marathon, and Natalie too afraid to look back, only imagining the vision of Brandon’s tall, muscular frame running after her, a look of hunger on his face, and defeating a challenge wrapped up in his eyes…

She hollered at the thought of it, laughing through and through, holding tight to her girls’ hands, swinging them around the bases of trees, the dappled sunlight spilling through the branches on them, Brandon at their heels, growling, “You can’t protect her forever, Tiffany and Emilia! Nattie will be mine soon!”